I really dont know if I can do this...please help!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: AB
Posts: 12
I really dont know if I can do this...please help!!
Well, I am in a really bad place right now...meetings dont work for me...I dont know what else to do. I have been on a binge for 6-7 days now...really bad..I even got out the vodka this morning just to calm my nerves. Oh my, this is bad...I usually have my limits...only drink beer...and well shots at the bar...but I hate hard alcohol, and never have had the urge to drink it...I just dont know...well I know I have to stop this...I had a nose bleed this morning..not sure if that is related to drinking, but I never get noselbeeds...anyways, I think I am just going to go to sleep for a bit and hopefully feel a bit better when I wake up...but last night I had this horrible, scary dream....it was bad...maybe it is a sign...I have to stop this drinking...just not sure how....I just feel so at the bottom..no one really seems to understand...I cant live like this anymore. Need some advice!! thanks
Grateful recovering alcoholic
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Blissfield, MI
Posts: 814
Don't know what to tell you.
You said the meetings don't work for you.
When I was desperate and in poor enough condition; I was willing to go to any length to stay sober. Meetings worked great for me then. Of course, getting a sponsor and a home group and going to at least 1 meeting a day (more like 2 or 3). Getting down on my knees and praying for help those all played a big part in it too. So did working the steps.
Jen
You said the meetings don't work for you.
When I was desperate and in poor enough condition; I was willing to go to any length to stay sober. Meetings worked great for me then. Of course, getting a sponsor and a home group and going to at least 1 meeting a day (more like 2 or 3). Getting down on my knees and praying for help those all played a big part in it too. So did working the steps.
Jen
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: fumbling towards ecstasy
Posts: 2,551
When we are desperate enough, the willingness appears. The willingness to go to any lengths.
The step before the step - pray for willingness.
I got so desperate that I was willing to go to the meetings. And that was the start of real recovery.
--phinny
The step before the step - pray for willingness.
I got so desperate that I was willing to go to the meetings. And that was the start of real recovery.
--phinny
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: new york, ny
Posts: 13
there's a saying in AA - The program didn't work for me 'cause I didn't work the program. Go back and give AA a try- ASK FOR HELP! Remember, we are all alcoholics and have been thru EXACTLYwhat you are going thru. Honest!!!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: The Mohave Desert
Posts: 2,306
Big Hugs to you... 
I can see the road you are headed down..
"I have been on a binge for 6-7 days now...really bad..
I even got out the vodka this morning just to calm my nerves." -you
You do not need to go any further... I get the shudders just remembering waking up @5am and having do down at least a double of scotch to get myself settled and to stop the shakes. It is a truly sucky a** place to be.
There are many tools we can use to help us get sober, but ultimately it comes down to being willing.
Praying for you to find willingness.
And please do not forget that you are not alone
I can see the road you are headed down..
"I have been on a binge for 6-7 days now...really bad..
I even got out the vodka this morning just to calm my nerves." -you
You do not need to go any further... I get the shudders just remembering waking up @5am and having do down at least a double of scotch to get myself settled and to stop the shakes. It is a truly sucky a** place to be.
There are many tools we can use to help us get sober, but ultimately it comes down to being willing.
Praying for you to find willingness.
And please do not forget that you are not alone
1 bite&all resistance crumbles
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: IRELAND
Posts: 2,208
I think the nosebleed is alcohol related...I remember a few years ago around Christmas was on a binge of like 4 nights in a row, and woke up with nosebleed...verry scary.
Ask for help!!! SPeak up at a meeting, go back to the meetings, they CAN HELP YOU if you let it.
Well done for reaching out, you don't have to live like this, Kelkel is right, it's a sh!t place to be adn you don't deserve this kind of slow suicide.
Good luck! You CAN DO IT! We have all been there/
Cathy31
x
Ask for help!!! SPeak up at a meeting, go back to the meetings, they CAN HELP YOU if you let it.
Well done for reaching out, you don't have to live like this, Kelkel is right, it's a sh!t place to be adn you don't deserve this kind of slow suicide.
Good luck! You CAN DO IT! We have all been there/
Cathy31
x
Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: London
Posts: 1,229
We all understand - I do anyhow.
You seem to have reached a place where you have realised that this cannot really go on.
What I did was this: I looked at my life, in its entirety: I saw that misery ran through it, through every social gathering, through every train journey to work, through nearly ever person i looked at. I used to give myself the creeps: am I going crazy? Will I end up alone? Why can't I function like others? : misery, in other words.
I was lost, lost in a horrible clamy fog. I felt that I was the craziest, weirdist creature in the world; saw people shrink away from me when I came near. Saw that people would make excuses when I wanted their time or friendship. I saw that, in a way, I was dying...
...so I decided that enough was enough. The drink was killing me. So I stopped it. And I then I went to an AA meeting to hear more about this kind of thing...and for hope as well...and in many ways I found it...
...ideas and suggestions.
You seem to have reached a place where you have realised that this cannot really go on.
What I did was this: I looked at my life, in its entirety: I saw that misery ran through it, through every social gathering, through every train journey to work, through nearly ever person i looked at. I used to give myself the creeps: am I going crazy? Will I end up alone? Why can't I function like others? : misery, in other words.
I was lost, lost in a horrible clamy fog. I felt that I was the craziest, weirdist creature in the world; saw people shrink away from me when I came near. Saw that people would make excuses when I wanted their time or friendship. I saw that, in a way, I was dying...
...so I decided that enough was enough. The drink was killing me. So I stopped it. And I then I went to an AA meeting to hear more about this kind of thing...and for hope as well...and in many ways I found it...
...ideas and suggestions.
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 1,432
Carol is right: please call your doctor and talk about what you're doing. Don't be embarrassed; they've heard it all before. Ask him or her for a reference to a counselor who emphasizes substance abuse; a CBT or REBT counselor would be useful. You can set goals, discuss ways to cope with urges, find out if there are underlying issues like anxiety or depression that might benefit from followup counseling.
Meanwhile, there are online meetings in various programs that you can go to. There are 12 step meetings via this web site. SMART Recovery has online meetings every day of the week:
http://www.smartrecovery.org/onlinemeetings.htm
There's one tonight at 8:30 p.m. EST, and all you have to do is register at the website and click on the link.
Please keep posting. The folks here care about you!
Meanwhile, there are online meetings in various programs that you can go to. There are 12 step meetings via this web site. SMART Recovery has online meetings every day of the week:
http://www.smartrecovery.org/onlinemeetings.htm
There's one tonight at 8:30 p.m. EST, and all you have to do is register at the website and click on the link.
Please keep posting. The folks here care about you!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Texas
Posts: 131
((((hey butterfly)))) i feel for you. i agree that a doctor is the best thing to do. i went to mine and finally told him (and i've been going to him for 15 years) that i was drinking waaayyyy too much for me. he was extremely kind and helpful.
linda
linda
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Ft. Collins CO.
Posts: 81
Originally Posted by butterfly123
...I had a nose bleed this morning..not sure if that is related to drinking, but I never get noselbeeds...
If your drinking and some kind of health abnormality shows up, chances are its related to the drinking.
I have never heard of people getting nosebleeds from drinking too much (its usually more related to cocaine usage), but everybody's body reacts differently.
Not the center of the Universe
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Orchard Lake, Michigan
Posts: 974
Hey ((butterfly123)),
Well, I am in a really bad place right now... it sure sounds like you are, is it bad enough?
meetings dont work for me... unless you can arrange to be at a meeting 24 hours a day, meetings alone will not keep you sober
I dont know what else to do... you might consider a treatment center, either as an inpatient or as an outpaitent, it worked for me before meetings did
I have been on a binge for 6-7 days now... really bad.. trust me, it will get worse unless you do something to change now
I even got out the vodka this morning just to calm my nerves. Oh my, this is bad... hey, I used to do this every morning for almost the whole last year I was using. I had to because otherwise people would have noticed how bad I was shaking and they would have known I was an alcoholic.
I usually have my limits...only drink beer...and well shots at the bar...but I hate hard alcohol, and never have had the urge to drink it... until now that is. Keep on drinking and there is just no telling how many more "yets" you will be able to cross off the list.
no one really seems to understand... most people here at SR understand completely. Just about every person you will meet at an A.A. or N.A. meeting will understand completely. You are not alone in this and you don't have to do this all by yourself. There are many, many, many people who are willing to help you do what you can't do by yourself. All you have to do is ask for help and be honest and willing to give your best effort to try what is suggested.
I cant live like this anymore. The good news is you do not have to live like this anymore. You do, however, have to stop drinking and you can stop drinking. One day at a time, just like the rest of us who have been where you are and are where you want to be. Let us help.
One Love, One Heart,
Tony
Well, I am in a really bad place right now... it sure sounds like you are, is it bad enough?
meetings dont work for me... unless you can arrange to be at a meeting 24 hours a day, meetings alone will not keep you sober
I dont know what else to do... you might consider a treatment center, either as an inpatient or as an outpaitent, it worked for me before meetings did
I have been on a binge for 6-7 days now... really bad.. trust me, it will get worse unless you do something to change now
I even got out the vodka this morning just to calm my nerves. Oh my, this is bad... hey, I used to do this every morning for almost the whole last year I was using. I had to because otherwise people would have noticed how bad I was shaking and they would have known I was an alcoholic.
I usually have my limits...only drink beer...and well shots at the bar...but I hate hard alcohol, and never have had the urge to drink it... until now that is. Keep on drinking and there is just no telling how many more "yets" you will be able to cross off the list.
no one really seems to understand... most people here at SR understand completely. Just about every person you will meet at an A.A. or N.A. meeting will understand completely. You are not alone in this and you don't have to do this all by yourself. There are many, many, many people who are willing to help you do what you can't do by yourself. All you have to do is ask for help and be honest and willing to give your best effort to try what is suggested.
I cant live like this anymore. The good news is you do not have to live like this anymore. You do, however, have to stop drinking and you can stop drinking. One day at a time, just like the rest of us who have been where you are and are where you want to be. Let us help.
One Love, One Heart,
Tony
Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Leaving Sparta
Posts: 2,912
Originally Posted by butterfly123
Well, I am in a really bad place right now...meetings dont work for me...I dont know what else to do. I have been on a binge for 6-7 days now...really bad..I even got out the vodka this morning just to calm my nerves. Oh my, this is bad...I usually have my limits...only drink beer...and well shots at the bar...but I hate hard alcohol, and never have had the urge to drink it...I just dont know...
Member
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Plainfield, New Jersey USA
Posts: 491
To be restrained and unable to reach a store that sells your drug of choice. I suggest a in-patient medically monitored detox, 3-5 days is more than enough. Then return to the meetings and try the 12 Steps. The Steps do not get you sober but they do direct you to a new way to live and conduct yourself. Just a suggestion.
Michael
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: London England
Posts: 291
Butterfly,
All of the contributors who have answered your post have given you good advice and I am not about to repeat any of it. All I can say to you is that only you can decide to take action. For your sake and for the sake of all those who are dear to you make that decision now before you cause more damage, pain and suffering.
Best wishes
Michael
All of the contributors who have answered your post have given you good advice and I am not about to repeat any of it. All I can say to you is that only you can decide to take action. For your sake and for the sake of all those who are dear to you make that decision now before you cause more damage, pain and suffering.
Best wishes
Michael
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,862
When your scared enough, sick enough, done, you'll do it. You really will, have a little faith in your abilities to do so....as you've seen it just get's worse. Find a means of support that will work for you.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: canada
Posts: 170
I feel for you Butterfly, I remember all to well the feeling your body goes through after a bender. It's awful and scary. Everything in your body is screaming for you to stop!! I too used to get nosebleeds, quite often in the last year of use. They also became harder to stop. You should speak to your doctor about treatment for you addiction and safe detox. I had a full physical done before and six months after rehab. I lied to my doctor for years, he saw right through it mind you, but it does help to get honest with your medical provider.
You are not alone, even though you probably are feeling lost right now, remember that others have been there! There is a light at the end of the tunnel, don't give up!
You are not alone, even though you probably are feeling lost right now, remember that others have been there! There is a light at the end of the tunnel, don't give up!
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: brooklyn, new york
Posts: 1,639
well,
what comes first
the chicken or the egg?
once you get that stinking thinking
and you are thinking drinking
well, well,
surprise
"the meetings don't work"
anyway
you can go back to AA
or
other recovery, therapy options
or
life gets
really
bad,
bad,
bad
give it your best shot
i think you can do it again
best
fraankie
what comes first
the chicken or the egg?
once you get that stinking thinking
and you are thinking drinking
well, well,
surprise
"the meetings don't work"
anyway
you can go back to AA
or
other recovery, therapy options
or
life gets
really
bad,
bad,
bad
give it your best shot
i think you can do it again
best
fraankie
Red Hot Chili Pepper
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Jefferson --a State of Mind
Posts: 153
Can't add much to what's here, but I would call your local rehab in-patient or out-patient center and they will either have a doctor on staff or can recommend one that specializes in this kind of thing. My doctor is out in the middle of nowhere, but he definitely HAS heard it all and has been great. I feel much better with him than I did with the GP I had before.
Kelly
Kelly
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