tenK

I have a question.

Normies have off days right? Everyone feels down now and then. So, how do we tell the difference between a normal downswing (which we must learn to deal with without drinking), vs. a hitch or problem with our recovery?

thx!

10K

CarolD

a hard question to answer when we are not F2F frineds.

Are you going to AA? That is a big plus for me.

I can share in meetings and call a women in the program...to keep me in balance. And I pray for releif.

Are you aware of PAWS? Are you keeping a journal?

Sorry...I think I asked more than I answered!

CAPTAINZING2000

How long, how much did you drink? I was a yo yo for a while. I had court system to deal with and get my fines paid etc.

You numb your emotions for years it's tough going solo.

As far as having off days, I have them once in a while.
http://www.facade.com/biorhythm/

I think, every one has goes thru this. If, you're really having some wild ones with your emotions, check with a doctor.

bookie12

10K - 7 months ago when I had my last drink, I fell into some serious depression. To make matters worse, there was an incident that happened just before I quit drinking that made me mad at my wife. I fought with these feelings for more than 2 months.

Today, almost 7 months later and for no reason at all, I started to think about the incident with my wife again. This hasn't happened since sometime in March.

That is how I know when it is part of my recovery. Hope this helps.

Bookie12

michski

We have the same problems as "normies" It's our solutions that are different. If you just stick close to your program and do your footwork the emotional roller coaster you may be feeling will flatten out and you will intuitively know how to do things that used to baffle you. It's true!

lulu70

Everyone in the world has down days. For us alkies, though, even a "normal" downswing can easily become a "hitch or problem with our recovery." For me, because I drank to forget my problems, drank to celebrate my successes, and drank "just because," I had forgotten how to deal with everyday life and my "normal" swings of emotion. As I get a little bit more sobriety under my belt, I find I no longer immediately think of drinking or drugging to deal with every little thing that comes up. But that took lots of practice. I think that in early sobriety (and possibly forever), for an alcoholic, nothing should be taken for granted.

Hope that makes sense!

Hugs--

Millwallj

Fistly cant stand the word normaies. RD Laing concluded after about four decades of work that he still did not know what was normal in humans.

Its important - I think - not to pathologise ourselves away from other people.

Little tip. Share with people outside of hte fellowship occasionally! Instead of sharing at a meeting or calling your sponser, mention something to a close non drinking buddy about what your going through. I will bet you a million dollars they will understand, show support, etc. We are human beings with a problem and with a solution. Dont worry yourself (like me) about it to much.

historyteach

I heard something recently that I loved.
"normal is a setting on a washing machine."
Made sense to me! Thanks, Trish!
Shalom!

findingout

I have come to believe that in the early morning (and possibly for the rest of the day), for a human being, nothing should be taken for granted

What I think these days is that a temporary downswing is an indication that something is not right with me and I had better do something about it before I slip too far back down the path that leads to drinking starting to sound like a good idea again. Sometimes, doing something is nothing more than remembering that whatever happens my head will not explode and I will not fall off the face of the earth. Sometimes, doing something is just saying the serenity prayer and thinking about what it actually means for a minute or two. Sometimes, doing something is getting to an A.A. or N.A. meeting and getting outside of my head for an hour. For me, one of the advantages of having a regular schedule of meetings is that I never get too far away from that last hour outside my head. I have found that I almost always leave a meeting in a better frame of mind and in a better mood.

One Love, One Heart, Jah Bless
Tony

Millwallj

Nice one Tony.

For me an imporant part of being human is being spiritual. So to my human problems i give a spiritual make over.

For me being human and spiritual is relying on no one but my HP and my own mind. Humility for me is not needing a special fix. Its realising that I am okay despite everything and that I am willing to allow myself to learn.

fixing bad emotions as soon as they come up, trying to change me (constantly) only leads to a sense of no acceptance. I am human. I am spiritual. My problems are of my own making.

Millwallj

ignore what i wrote Ton - i have no idea what i am rambling on about.

Music

Ups and downs are ups and downs. How I handle them is the secret. I don't drink.
An alkie using the term "normie" is to put all of us in a "them and us" situation. I'm as normal today as anyone else who doesn't drink. How do we tell the difference in a "normal" up and down or a hitch in my recovery. WHETHER I DRINK OVER IT OR NOT!!

tenK

when i used the term normie.. I'm thinking of the people out there who don't have messed up brain chemistry and aren't emotionally stunted from years of alcohol abuse.

But, I heard the same thing over and over.. and it makes sense. It's how I deal with things that matters. No matter what the cause, downswings need to be recognized and dealt with.

Music

Truth be know tenK, normal is in the mind of the beholder. I doubt there's anyone out there who's in perfect mental, physical, and spiritual health. If I look close enough, I can find something abnormal about anyone.

Millwallj

the pschiatrist R.D Laing spent over 40 years with various assortment of mental patients - from anxiety to panic to schzophrenia to booze heads. He said he still, after all that work, had no idea what a normal human being was.

Music

That's my point Mill. Normal is what's normal to me personally, or what I choose to accept as normal by someone else.
In the last few years of my drinking, the most normal thing to do was to drink. I didn't even have to think about it or question my motives, consequences or rationale. That's the way I lived. It seemed real to me and when I was questioned about it I got defensive and tried to protect my reality. It wasn't until that last day, that somehow, my reality was shaken to it's foundation and I couldn't rationalize any more. I was in trouble and I needed help. I've been asked by "born again Christians" whether or not I've ever been "born again." My answer is always, "you're darn right I have" and they smile. Little do they know my being re-born has nothing to do with what they're thinking.

QueenShenique

In my addiction when I was working in a sleazy dive as a bartender--I would sweep in, set up the bar and announce "the doctor is in"--I know better today--I can't diagnose anyone and need help in understanding myself. But, I will share my experience and hope it helps a bit--while going thru a deep grieving period after the ending of a relationship--I asked my sponsor how to deal with the pain without medicating. She said--you put on your makeup and go to work and do what is in front of you to do and continue to work a program. There are days when I'm just not real happy--but, I do the next right thing and it passes. However, I also had the help of a recoverying doctor who recognized the chemical imbalance I was suffering from and at 6 yrs sober I began taking an antidepressant which radically improved my life and helped me to work a better program. If there is a recurring pattern of "down days" and other symptoms of depression it may be helpful to consult a doctor who understands alcoholism and may be able to identify if there is (or is not) a problem. I like to say: My medication restored me to clarity, the 12 steps restored me to sanity.

Music

Whatever you do Queeny, don't tell Tom Cruise what you just told us.

NoMoBeer

Music -- ROFLMAO!!!

nocellphone

...and speaking of "normal...



"Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt... There's... no... such... thing... as... a... chemical... imbalance......."

I think Nicholson was right when he told him he can't handle the truth.