SMART/Cathy31
Knucklehead
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Davenport, WA
Posts: 4,005
Originally Posted by Chy
AA is most certainly not for everyone. So then what? What IS there for people who need something to help them achieve sobriety and remain sober but have found AA not to be what they need? There are several options, SMART being one of them, so yet another perhaps that doesn't work for some, so what else IS there? Let's see Lifering, Secular Oraganization for Sobriety, Women for Sobriety. Eventually if one is not stalling in finding a way there is something available that will work. Counselors, therapists, spirtiual advisors, we have many choices. So, if what is being suggested doesn't work for you I'm sure there are countless others it does work for.
In the grand scheme of things it's unreasonable to assume that there is only one right way, therefore we have choices, in our country we have the freedom to make that choice and in so doing it's fair to remember so long as we achieve the end goal of sobriety it really doesn't matter how we did it just that we did. I'd say that's a common goal we all have here no? Therefore, we should applaud each other, be happy, remain respectful we as individuals have found a way and we have the freedom to share that as well as the freedom to take it or leave it. But when leaving it remember "it", an individuals personal choice of recovery, worked for them, be happy for that, not critical.
In the grand scheme of things it's unreasonable to assume that there is only one right way, therefore we have choices, in our country we have the freedom to make that choice and in so doing it's fair to remember so long as we achieve the end goal of sobriety it really doesn't matter how we did it just that we did. I'd say that's a common goal we all have here no? Therefore, we should applaud each other, be happy, remain respectful we as individuals have found a way and we have the freedom to share that as well as the freedom to take it or leave it. But when leaving it remember "it", an individuals personal choice of recovery, worked for them, be happy for that, not critical.
I agree with everything you said, and usually do. Honestly, I haven't seen the AA or SMART bashing that people were referring to in the closed thread. I also don't know who the SMART member is that does nothing but promote SMART by downing AA. Maybe I am just not reading the right threads, and maybe that's good. I do wish there was a forum specific for alternatives as there is for AA. Maybe a forum for secular programs. It's too bad that it was abused by some individuals, but maybe the baby got thrown out with the bath water. BTW Jon, LifeRing does have a link back to SR.
Anyway, other choices are certainly available, but not available face to face where many people live. So, those people will often try to fit themselves into AA/NA even though they do not believe in the core beliefs that are held by almost all members and are what the program is based on. And if that is truely OK, then Andy is right, AA can accomodate all people. I don't believe it can be that generic and still be AA. Although, AgnosticAA groups are AA groups, registered with the GSO, and they pretty much ignore the suggested program, in favor of more secular based ideas. Hopefully, alternative programs will become more available in the future and people will have choices in the real world. Unfortunately, most treatment "professionals" are Step indoctrinated and either don't know about other programs or won't suggest them. That includes the ones that have boards on SR. From what I have read, they are just like many of the counselors I have seen, who have nothing to offer other than a solution based on religious/spiritual concepts. If you decline their solution, you are in denial. But if you were in denial, you wouldn't be there seeking help!
Doorknob
Extremity
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: somewhere, out over that away
Posts: 183
Originally Posted by Don S
Hi, michski,
One of the things I really like about Women for Sobriety is that it strongly focuses on affirmation and support.
Don S
One of the things I really like about Women for Sobriety is that it strongly focuses on affirmation and support.
Don S
LOL! You shouldn't know that Don!
Are you sneaking in drag persona?
I believe that on this we men should show respect by not knowing anything at all.
Now, to all else, there is certainly plenty of rubbish that comes from individuals in all programs, including SMART and AA. I've heard rubbish come from just about everybody here (including me) at some point in time. I've heard it said, time and time again, that, "everything will be okay as long as we all don't go mad at once." We all have our moments and it is best to not judge the forest from one tree.
AA literature says that we should always "be friendly with our friends." That any organization that tries to help others be free of their compulsions are with us on the "front lines." And that AA ought not to have an opinion demanding authority, conformity or reform on other organizations or society as a whole.
While an individual may declare for themself that their program is the only way (for them), it is not the official declaration of AA. (that says time and time again that they offer A way out, not the way out.)
Yet, here we are again, belaboring points of what is and is not according to fervor. Instead of rejoicing over the new found freedoms that come with sobriety. Why would anyone want to stop the addiction of using or drinking to become addicted to this?
You know, the original manuscript of Alcoholics Anonymous had a line right after ther steps that said something like, "if you are not convinced, then you can read this book again up to this point and see if you are convinced, OR THROW THIS BOOK AWAY AND TRY SOMETHING ELSE"
I see SMART (in general) becoming much more tolerant of AA. And like AA members, are apt to challenge those that try to discredit them wholesale.
And those in both programs that refuse to find common ground to know how we are the same.
IMO:It benefits none to squabble over perceived "us and them" notions.
I could be wrong though, perhaps this squabble is the only way some can divert and abstain. I see many in both programs that start that way and never grow out of it.
I just hope that if someone is reading this and they want to stop, but can't seem to do it on their own, that they try using one of these support groups.
Any group. It doesn't matter. Do it until it doesn't work and then either do it again and make it different or do another one that seems different.
Each attempt is a step towards that goal of quitting and making a better life.
BE WELL
BE SMART
BE SOBER
and learn to just BE!
Love ya all!
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