Two Days Sober
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Australia, Vic, Melbourne
Posts: 20
Two Days Sober
And it feels like it's been 2 years, not 2 days.
Everyone I know either has a drinking problem or worse, even my family are always drinking (two out of three of them anyway) which means anywhere I go, I'm around booze which really isn't good for me right now.
The first place I look when I open the fridge is at the beer, the first place I go to when I wake up in the morning is the bottle of whisky I have hidden in my room. It's just so hard to resist the temptation.
Also, for the record I also suffer from depression which adds to the need to drink, when 24 hours, 7 days a week, the only thoughts that go through your head are either how to kill yourself or how much you hate yourself, those few hours away from it all that you get from alcohol are so tempting.
Anyone have any advice? I know the only option I have right now is to stay sober and stop ruining my life but that doesn't seem to make any sense most of the time, the only thing that makes sense is to drink. So yeah, I need a little advice.
Thanks,
StayingSober
Everyone I know either has a drinking problem or worse, even my family are always drinking (two out of three of them anyway) which means anywhere I go, I'm around booze which really isn't good for me right now.
The first place I look when I open the fridge is at the beer, the first place I go to when I wake up in the morning is the bottle of whisky I have hidden in my room. It's just so hard to resist the temptation.
Also, for the record I also suffer from depression which adds to the need to drink, when 24 hours, 7 days a week, the only thoughts that go through your head are either how to kill yourself or how much you hate yourself, those few hours away from it all that you get from alcohol are so tempting.
Anyone have any advice? I know the only option I have right now is to stay sober and stop ruining my life but that doesn't seem to make any sense most of the time, the only thing that makes sense is to drink. So yeah, I need a little advice.
Thanks,
StayingSober
Stopping the tornado
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: USA
Posts: 143
First off, dump the booze in your house! There is no way I could stay sober with booze in the house, it's just too much of a temptation for someone newly sober.
As for the depression, alcohol is a depressant itself and will just make your situation worse. Go to a doctor, get an antidepressant that works for you, and take them as prescribed. It sounds like you also really need to get a good therapist.
Check out AA, find yourself a support network of sober people. It sounds like you really need some help finding a recovery plan.
Keep posting here, I'm rooting for your success!!
As for the depression, alcohol is a depressant itself and will just make your situation worse. Go to a doctor, get an antidepressant that works for you, and take them as prescribed. It sounds like you also really need to get a good therapist.
Check out AA, find yourself a support network of sober people. It sounds like you really need some help finding a recovery plan.
Keep posting here, I'm rooting for your success!!
Not the center of the Universe
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Orchard Lake, Michigan
Posts: 974
Originally Posted by StayingSober
And it feels like it's been 2 years, not 2 days.
Everyone I know either has a drinking problem or worse, even my family are always drinking (two out of three of them anyway) which means anywhere I go, I'm around booze
Everyone I know either has a drinking problem or worse, even my family are always drinking (two out of three of them anyway) which means anywhere I go, I'm around booze
My using years matched up pretty close to your description. I come from a family of alcoholics and, by the end at least, the only "friends" I had left were people who could drink as much as I did. I was depressed, lonely, and I drank. A lot. Pretty much 24/7 the last year. It never got any better, it only got worse.
Then one day, I was told that I could go to a treatment program or lose my job. So I said I would go and I did. But I fully intended to get my "certificate of sobriety" and go right back to drinking. I completely lied through my initial interview at the treatment center, in fact, I stopped drinking 6 days before the interview so I would appear to be sober and not really an alcoholic at all.
Once I started treatment, I found out that it was going to be pretty easy to fake it and I thought I was all set. But I was determined to do a good job off faking it, so I continued not drinking. And then something very odd happened about three weeks into treatment. I found out that I actually, sort of, kinda, liked not having to get up and drink at 5 am in the morning before I went into work. And I found out that I could really identify with the other people who were in treatment with me. And then I went to my first NA meeting...
I chose NA because I did not want to admit that I was an alcoholic. I had used a lot of drugs earlier in my life (almost all of popular ones at the time), so I knew I could talk the talk and since I didn't have a problem, I wouldn't be admitting to anything. I was such a freaking fraud of a person at the time that I didn't see anything wrong with this plan. But, BUT, once I was at the table with these people, I found I could not lie to them. Which was very strange, since I had never had a problem lying to anyone in all the 25 years I was using.
It took me another two months before I got up the courage to actually go to an A.A meeting, stand up, and say "Hi my name is Tony and I am an alcoholic." It took another three months to get to the point where I KNEW A.A. would work for me and I had to decide if I really WANTED to stay sober one day at a time. And it took the full first year before I totally committed myself. The one constant through out that first year was the contact with other people who knew what I was going through and wanted to help if I would let them. Without those people (and there were so many of them who had a direct impact on MY life), I would be drunk right now instead of writing this.
I just started my 30th month of sobriety and my 43rd year on this planet and I am the happiest I can ever remember being since I was 12 years old. Today, I believe there really is something to this "happy, joyous, and free" stuff. I believe that I can have some of it because I do have some of it. I believe in the promises because so many of them have come true for me.
I so wanted to be able to take full credit for my sobriety, to be able to say "Look world, I did it all by myself!" But I can't AND THAT IS NOT A BAD THING. I need recovering people in my life, they keep me going when I would give up. And it just keeps getting better.
You said "it feels like it's been 2 years, not 2 days." When you get to 2 years (and you CAN get to 2 years), it won't feel like 2 days. But it doesn't happen overnight. Sobriety (and the serenity, happiness, and freedom) are real, not a three hour fix from the bottle.
Obviously, I am suggesting that you try A.A. and try it with an open mind and an open heart. There are other ways to get where you want to be and A.A (and N.A. Jah bless them for showing me the light) are not the only answers out there. Just the ones that worked for this alcoholic/addict.
You CAN do this thing if you WANT to do this thing.
One Love, One Heart, Jah Bless
Tony
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Australia, Vic, Melbourne
Posts: 20
Thanks, I appreciate the replies, it's good to know that life while sober isn't always this bad 
There's my problems right there 
I'm one of those people who has too much pride to really want to ask for help. I know that sort of a thing does really help but at this point, I'm the only one who knows about my drinking (even if other people do notice it, I simply deny it if I'm questioned) and I find it hard to admit to having yet another fault in me.
That and I don't know that I really want to stop drinking. I know I should want to, I know I hate how much I drink and what it does to me but it's almost part of who I am and it's a damn easy escape.
It took me another two months before I got up the courage to actually go to an A.A meeting, stand up, and say "Hi my name is Tony and I am an alcoholic." It took another three months to get to the point where I KNEW A.A. would work for me and I had to decide if I really WANTED to stay sober one day at a time.
I'm one of those people who has too much pride to really want to ask for help. I know that sort of a thing does really help but at this point, I'm the only one who knows about my drinking (even if other people do notice it, I simply deny it if I'm questioned) and I find it hard to admit to having yet another fault in me.
That and I don't know that I really want to stop drinking. I know I should want to, I know I hate how much I drink and what it does to me but it's almost part of who I am and it's a damn easy escape.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,709
See, in there may lie the problem.
it's almost part of who I am and it's a damn easy escape.
Is it really?
An escape?
Don't you always end up where you started?
You say you may not be ready or willing to stop drinking. That's perfectly honest on your part.
For me, the equation changed in a radical way when the temporary escape afforded me by intoxication stopped working.
And trust me, just as progressive as alcoholism is, it's the same when you get in to the It's not working anymore zone.
Pride and an almost insane stubborn attitude kept me trying to make it work again.
Just my experience. As bad as you feel now, it's most likely going to get worse.
And it doesn't have to be so.
it's almost part of who I am and it's a damn easy escape.
Is it really?
An escape?
Don't you always end up where you started?
You say you may not be ready or willing to stop drinking. That's perfectly honest on your part.
For me, the equation changed in a radical way when the temporary escape afforded me by intoxication stopped working.
And trust me, just as progressive as alcoholism is, it's the same when you get in to the It's not working anymore zone.
Pride and an almost insane stubborn attitude kept me trying to make it work again.
Just my experience. As bad as you feel now, it's most likely going to get worse.
And it doesn't have to be so.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: The Mohave Desert
Posts: 2,306
Hello and Welcome Staying Sober...
I hope you find some comfort and tools here to help you stay on the road to recovery.
There is more than one way to get and stay sober, I found that I could not do it alone and that my best bet was attending the fellowship of AA.
I also deal with manic depression...
It is important that you deal with both issues, if you are going to give yourself a fair chance at staying sober, you need to take care of your mental state.
I work on them both from seperate perspectives, keeping in mind that they are both interrelated.
nomaste'
I hope you find some comfort and tools here to help you stay on the road to recovery.
There is more than one way to get and stay sober, I found that I could not do it alone and that my best bet was attending the fellowship of AA.
I also deal with manic depression...
It is important that you deal with both issues, if you are going to give yourself a fair chance at staying sober, you need to take care of your mental state.
I work on them both from seperate perspectives, keeping in mind that they are both interrelated.
nomaste'
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Beaver, WA
Posts: 1,346
Staying Sober:
I hope & pray you can pocket the pride before the final escape happens. Seen many alcoholics with and without other issues take the final journey without realizing just how good life can be no matter the present circumstances. I thought that final journey to oblivion was an alternative, an option for me at one time. Thank God and AA it was not the only option available. I could not differentiate the true from the false in my own head.
Honestly, I was not sure what I really wanted the last couple years of my drinking. Maybe it was just a release, any release, from my own drunken squirrel cage of a pickled brain & the alcoholic dilemma I had placed myself in. Thought, Thinking, LOL.... I thought that my thinking could solve my problem. Grateful I found out that my thinking, itself, with my mind actually being where the problem centered, would probably never solve the problem itself. LOL
Hope someday you can chuckle with me about this. I am laughing at myself and what your post brought to my mind. Grateful my mind is no longer clouded with alcohol, and many of the squirrels have taken vacation elsewhere since I gave AA Recovery Unity and Service an honest try.
(((((((((((Staying Sober)))))))))) Congrats on two days! Take another and if you need some help and want what I was offered, feel free to PM me. Love an opportunity to share together one on one in Chatroom. I will pocket my pride and tell you my story and someday you might understand that you will be helping me more than I ever could help you.
3 Legacy
I hope & pray you can pocket the pride before the final escape happens. Seen many alcoholics with and without other issues take the final journey without realizing just how good life can be no matter the present circumstances. I thought that final journey to oblivion was an alternative, an option for me at one time. Thank God and AA it was not the only option available. I could not differentiate the true from the false in my own head.
Honestly, I was not sure what I really wanted the last couple years of my drinking. Maybe it was just a release, any release, from my own drunken squirrel cage of a pickled brain & the alcoholic dilemma I had placed myself in. Thought, Thinking, LOL.... I thought that my thinking could solve my problem. Grateful I found out that my thinking, itself, with my mind actually being where the problem centered, would probably never solve the problem itself. LOL
Hope someday you can chuckle with me about this. I am laughing at myself and what your post brought to my mind. Grateful my mind is no longer clouded with alcohol, and many of the squirrels have taken vacation elsewhere since I gave AA Recovery Unity and Service an honest try.
(((((((((((Staying Sober)))))))))) Congrats on two days! Take another and if you need some help and want what I was offered, feel free to PM me. Love an opportunity to share together one on one in Chatroom. I will pocket my pride and tell you my story and someday you might understand that you will be helping me more than I ever could help you.
3 Legacy
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