100

I have come to the conclusion that I do need my bi-polar meds. when I feel stable I don't want to drink but when I am having mood swings I want to badly. since uping my meds I feel much better. I was sleeping very poorly and feeling burned out all the time. I missed my meds yesterday because I lost them and I was in tears by morning. I realize it was the product of missing my meds. so feeling good today. also I accept the reason I relapsed in the first place was a product of decreasing my meds without doctors approval. I would be manic at work and I thought I was getting better because I would feel great almost like I was high. I didn't even realize how unstable I was, i would get extremely irritable and have episodic rage, but only when i was alone. I was having regular crying spells but didn't want to admit I was sick. I felt like I was going to have a nervous breakdown. my instability was one reason I found getting sober so much harder this time. anyway I'm not doing that again.
David

Dee74

I think its important to keep taking meds - like you say we can feel out of balance without them. Glad you feel better today David

D

Zencat

Hope you will be feeling better soon David
Do always consult your doctor about dose and change in meds.

100

it's addict thinking that I know enough to adjust my meds myself. I think of my self as knowledgeable and I can think my self into trouble. a lot of the time I don't know what's true of not. I have believed a lot lies and believed them totally and completely. the big book talks about not being able to differentiate the true from the false to us the addict/alcoholic life is the only normal one. I also realize how far I've come I know the truth now. Before I relapsed I would question if I was alcoholic or not and I didn't tell anyone my doubts. it drove me crazy enough to pick up a drink. I know I'm alcoholic and no doubt is left, that's huge because it's the reason I kept relapsing for 2 decades. I feel such peace having accepted the truth!,now I can do something about it because I belong. today I'm looking at the similarities not the differences. I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be.
David