Drank again
Free.
Join Date: Apr 2020
Location: Saskatchewan.
Posts: 2,972
Eric, I’ve found myself in the same boat recently.
Went on a bender a couple of weeks ago. Did a bunch of dumb shtuff.
Wife has one foot out the door.
Things I’ve learned:
I thought I was in recovery over the past three years: really it was just a big relapse cycle (drinking every 10 days or 20 or 30).
What I was doing was NOT working.
Being in daily contact with recoverers is my only hope.
Medication (from a doctor that specializes in recovery) is Ok.
I have to keep the willingness to see counsellors/doctors etc. Even though it can be scary.
If a tuna sandwich did to me what alcohol does physically. I’d NEVER EAT A FREAKING TUNA SANDWICH again !!!
Have a good day RestlessEric!
Went on a bender a couple of weeks ago. Did a bunch of dumb shtuff.
Wife has one foot out the door.
Things I’ve learned:
I thought I was in recovery over the past three years: really it was just a big relapse cycle (drinking every 10 days or 20 or 30).
What I was doing was NOT working.
Being in daily contact with recoverers is my only hope.
Medication (from a doctor that specializes in recovery) is Ok.
I have to keep the willingness to see counsellors/doctors etc. Even though it can be scary.
If a tuna sandwich did to me what alcohol does physically. I’d NEVER EAT A FREAKING TUNA SANDWICH again !!!
Have a good day RestlessEric!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Dublin, Ireland.
Posts: 739
I fell this morning.
Slipped in the bathroom on the wet floor as I got out of the shower.
Shoulder and back a bit sore. Nothing to worry about.
I contrast this to times I have fallen over when I was drunk.
Today I just slipped and have no issue telling people that.
I'm not trying to minimise bruises on my face etc.
I am so glad I don't drink anymore.
Slipped in the bathroom on the wet floor as I got out of the shower.
Shoulder and back a bit sore. Nothing to worry about.
I contrast this to times I have fallen over when I was drunk.
Today I just slipped and have no issue telling people that.
I'm not trying to minimise bruises on my face etc.
I am so glad I don't drink anymore.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Dublin, Ireland.
Posts: 739
Last night, we went for dinner with my wife's family. It was a total pain in the arse but I did it because that's the type of thing I used to avoid.
I don't know if my relationship with my wife has a future but we are giving it a go and I'm determined to play my part.
My daughter is having a rough time at the moment and she doesn't really want to talk about it (she'll be 15 next week).
This is the hardest thing for me, who obviously wants to fix everything for her.
I suspect she will be ok, as she has had difficult times in the past and come through.
I told her that if I would love to listen if she wants to talk but more important is that she talks to somebody-ANYBODY.
Anyway, this is regular family stuff.
When I started this thread, regular family stuff seemed a million miles off.
I don't know if my relationship with my wife has a future but we are giving it a go and I'm determined to play my part.
My daughter is having a rough time at the moment and she doesn't really want to talk about it (she'll be 15 next week).
This is the hardest thing for me, who obviously wants to fix everything for her.
I suspect she will be ok, as she has had difficult times in the past and come through.
I told her that if I would love to listen if she wants to talk but more important is that she talks to somebody-ANYBODY.
Anyway, this is regular family stuff.
When I started this thread, regular family stuff seemed a million miles off.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: NC
Posts: 5,160
That regular family stuff is what life is all about.
Good on you for doing it sober.
That truly is the only way to do it right.
I know for a fact it isn't easy but it is much harder doing it drunk.
Keep on keeping on
Good on you for doing it sober.
That truly is the only way to do it right.
I know for a fact it isn't easy but it is much harder doing it drunk.
Keep on keeping on
Member
Join Date: Oct 2021
Posts: 411
Hi Eric, I've been struggling to stay off it for as long as I can remember. This time theres something different. I have considered many methods and have come to the conclusion that there is something beyond the addiction that's driving me. I came across Dr Gabor Mate on youtube, he has many excellent interviews and talks on there that made me realise on a personal basis that my addiction is a symptom of something deeper that needs to be addressed. For me his methods for the individual and suggestions to institutions as a whole really gave me a new perspective and made me determined to make a difference this time. Take 5 minutes and check him out. In the meantime, for people like us theres a Chinese proverb that simply says.... 'fall down seven times...stand up 8'.... I know thats what I've been doing. Good luck and keep posting.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Dublin, Ireland.
Posts: 739
I was talking with my wife earlier today and noticed something.
She's looking me in the eye and smiling, basically relaxed around me.
This would be a perfect time for me to drink and hurt her like I have in the past.
But I'm not going to do that.
Because I don't drink anymore.
And this life is pretty cool.
She's looking me in the eye and smiling, basically relaxed around me.
This would be a perfect time for me to drink and hurt her like I have in the past.
But I'm not going to do that.
Because I don't drink anymore.
And this life is pretty cool.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Dublin, Ireland.
Posts: 739
I'm feeling a bit wiped out physically.
I had two nights of really poor sleep.
The thought of having a drink entered my mind.
I was driving through town and the pubs were open.
I then thought about how awful I felt when I started this thread and I will not be doing that again.
Insidious addiction.
Imagine even contemplating such a thing.
I had two nights of really poor sleep.
The thought of having a drink entered my mind.
I was driving through town and the pubs were open.
I then thought about how awful I felt when I started this thread and I will not be doing that again.
Insidious addiction.
Imagine even contemplating such a thing.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Dublin, Ireland.
Posts: 739
We went to Derry on Friday night.
My wife, daughter and I.
We met up with some people and had a great time.
I did the driving but my wife mentioned in passing that she had brought her driving glasses in case she needed to drive.
I thought that was odd, as she absolutely refuses to drive my car (too big, she says).
Then I realised that she was worried that I may drink and not be able to drive.
This is how I have affected her over the years.
My wife, daughter and I.
We met up with some people and had a great time.
I did the driving but my wife mentioned in passing that she had brought her driving glasses in case she needed to drive.
I thought that was odd, as she absolutely refuses to drive my car (too big, she says).
Then I realised that she was worried that I may drink and not be able to drive.
This is how I have affected her over the years.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: NC
Posts: 5,160
After almost 2 years sober I have seen many ways my drinking affected my loved ones that I had no idea about while in my fog.
There is no way it could not affect them.
The only thing I can do is make it right by never putting them through it again.
I now notice a lot of those behaviors they used to cope with me are changing.
It can be a slow process but they will come around as long as we stay the course.
There is no way it could not affect them.
The only thing I can do is make it right by never putting them through it again.
I now notice a lot of those behaviors they used to cope with me are changing.
It can be a slow process but they will come around as long as we stay the course.
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
My family isn't really up for the whole formal "amends" thing, so I figure it's not up to me to subject them to it. There are plenty of times that I feel like doing a Big Apology, but it just ain't happening yet. They are not ready, and so it's likely that I'm not ready either.
However, I have noticed that those moments like you had with your wife present an opportunity to do a mini verbal amendment. I've done this with my (grown) girls, and it seems like it's ok, helpful in that slow healing fishkiller mentioned, maybe. "Honey, I just realized (again) that there were innumerable times that you had to prepare yourself for the contingency that I might drink. I'm really sorry that I put you through that." (Full stop. Wait.) Sometimes I'll get an "It's ok" response. Sometimes I'll get a bit more of an acknowledgement than that, along the lines of, "Yeah, I'm sorry too." Straight out acknowledgement followed by a simple apology. And then we move along.
O
However, I have noticed that those moments like you had with your wife present an opportunity to do a mini verbal amendment. I've done this with my (grown) girls, and it seems like it's ok, helpful in that slow healing fishkiller mentioned, maybe. "Honey, I just realized (again) that there were innumerable times that you had to prepare yourself for the contingency that I might drink. I'm really sorry that I put you through that." (Full stop. Wait.) Sometimes I'll get an "It's ok" response. Sometimes I'll get a bit more of an acknowledgement than that, along the lines of, "Yeah, I'm sorry too." Straight out acknowledgement followed by a simple apology. And then we move along.
O
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Dublin, Ireland.
Posts: 739
Wife went to bed early. Gave me a kiss and said goodnight.
Daughter is in her room chatting to school friends online (They have an unexpected day off tomorrow due to an impending storm).
I'm downstairs with the cat.
The Christmas decorations are up and [whisper it quietly], I am happy.
When I started this thread, I was in a terrible place.
I am so thankful for what I have.
Daughter is in her room chatting to school friends online (They have an unexpected day off tomorrow due to an impending storm).
I'm downstairs with the cat.
The Christmas decorations are up and [whisper it quietly], I am happy.
When I started this thread, I was in a terrible place.
I am so thankful for what I have.
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