Ashamed of alcoholism
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
One more thing, there are AA meetings that are for people that cannot get to physical meetings although the organisers do not like people calling in who can get to a meeting if they had to, but might be worth a try.
D
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by 100 
Before I would think about everything I needed to fix. Right now I'm just focusing on staying sober. David
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Hi David, alcoholic of the hopeless variety here. There is always this emphasis on going to meetings yet there is nothing in the basic text to indicate that a certain amount of meetings will get a real alcoholic sober. Just not drinking and going to meetings does not treat alcoholism. I have seen so many try that path and many end up unhappy and miserable and maybe a little nuts, that is i f they manage to maintain abstinence. Look at your own experience with meetings. They can be pretty random affairs sometimes rife with non-program opinions. If you are seriously looking for a solution, just how are you supposed to sort out program from opinion?
For me the answer to that question was to find someone who knew something about the program and was putting into practice in their daily lives. That turned out to be a 12 stepper, someone who was willing to give up an afternoon to help a still suffering alcoholic. There is a good chance that someone who is willing to make that sacrifice has a good understanding of what the program is about. In that afternoon I learned more about me and the AA solution than I could have in a hundred meetings. When I arrived at my first meeting, looking back, I had pretty much taken the first three steps. I knew roughly how the meeting would run, that I did not have to do anything I didn't want to, that I ought to be looking out for a suitable sponsor, that there was a program with which said sponsor would help me, and that the main object of the whole exercise was to put me in contact with a power greater than myself (which I did not believe in at that time) which would solve my problem. Well nothing else had worked, I was convinced that said power had helped many, and I was at least willing to find out if the same power would help me. When I say willing I mean WILLING, man I was desperate!
I quickly learned too that when I found the solution I would need to be willing to pass it on to others. Gotta give it away to keep it they said. When I gave that aspect a try I experienced some new feelings, feelings that I liked. I began to feel that indeed my life could have a purpose, that it wasn't as hopeless and useless as it first appeared. Life took on new meaning. In a very practical way I was reborn, I got a second shot at life.
All this was promised if I was willing to follow a few simple rules (the steps). No promises were made about recovering by fellowship alone. I guess because that 12 stepper showed me the true nature of my condition, I was willing to accept the whole deal and not settle for second best.
For me the answer to that question was to find someone who knew something about the program and was putting into practice in their daily lives. That turned out to be a 12 stepper, someone who was willing to give up an afternoon to help a still suffering alcoholic. There is a good chance that someone who is willing to make that sacrifice has a good understanding of what the program is about. In that afternoon I learned more about me and the AA solution than I could have in a hundred meetings. When I arrived at my first meeting, looking back, I had pretty much taken the first three steps. I knew roughly how the meeting would run, that I did not have to do anything I didn't want to, that I ought to be looking out for a suitable sponsor, that there was a program with which said sponsor would help me, and that the main object of the whole exercise was to put me in contact with a power greater than myself (which I did not believe in at that time) which would solve my problem. Well nothing else had worked, I was convinced that said power had helped many, and I was at least willing to find out if the same power would help me. When I say willing I mean WILLING, man I was desperate!
I quickly learned too that when I found the solution I would need to be willing to pass it on to others. Gotta give it away to keep it they said. When I gave that aspect a try I experienced some new feelings, feelings that I liked. I began to feel that indeed my life could have a purpose, that it wasn't as hopeless and useless as it first appeared. Life took on new meaning. In a very practical way I was reborn, I got a second shot at life.
All this was promised if I was willing to follow a few simple rules (the steps). No promises were made about recovering by fellowship alone. I guess because that 12 stepper showed me the true nature of my condition, I was willing to accept the whole deal and not settle for second best.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
I was always depressed and ashamed of myself when I was drinking. Hated myself with a passion. 
It took a few months after getting sober before I felt less depressed. That was around the time I was advised to start practicing gratitude every day. That helped a lot too. 
It took a few months after getting sober before I felt less depressed. That was around the time I was advised to start practicing gratitude every day. That helped a lot too. Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: NC
Posts: 5,160
Originally Posted by 100
Feeling anxious right now but no cravings. I'm just focusing on not drinking right now the future can wait. Before I would think about everything I needed to fix. Right now I'm just focusing on staying sober. David
Without that nothing can be fixed.
I tried to rush everything at 1st also. Tiring. Unpleasant.
Then I realized the amount of effort just not drinking takes. That helped me realize I am doing something really big. Really hard.Really important. So I better focus on just that so I don't screw it up.
When my brain kicked into overdrive I would read here for hours. Sometimes post. Sometimes reply. Whatever I could to reinforce my sobriety.
Some days I would pretty much sit in my chair and watch TV all day because I just did not want to do anything.
Any distraction that kept me out of my head for a while.
17 months later I still have moments when I drive myself crazy but being sober I can deal with it So much better. I look at the positives a lot more now.
I want to be sober and content and I will do whatever it takes to get there.
If you are willing to do whatever it takes you will succeed my friend
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