Rockbottom1964

Thanks, FK. have a nice week.

Rockbottom1964

Thanks, Briansy, Mizz, O, Boondock, FK, and everyone else.
Kaneda - I'm sorry to say, friend - that's a total no-go, not an option at all.
O - I know you mean well, friend, and I appreciate it, I really do.
Have a great week, everyone.

dustyfox

Rockbottom - I would read your book - I loved your description of what it's like to be a middle aged white South African in 2021 it was fascinating and really compelling, I was right there listening to your Dad rant and rave your style reminded me of J.M. Coetzee somewhat-
You are right I am one of those people who really have nothing to moan about and no good reason to have drunk - but I did
Your first post about writing - that resonates with me - I have written several unpublished novels - they bug me - I cant get them right - but I like to write anyway.

novips

None of the following may be applicable to your case, but just in case ....

Since this is in the "Alcoholism" thread, I assume you might be an alcoholic. And if you are an alcoholic, then you might be the type of alcoholic who needs Alcoholics Anonymous -- both to stay sober and to avoid the resentment (AKA, "self-pity" when turned inward) that will eventually lead to a relapse if left untreated. Of course, most alcoholics of this type will need to wear out every other possible explanation for their malaise before being willing to even consider they might be the type of alcoholic I'm describing (e.g., "What I really need is a better writing plan!"). I have a lot of experience with this, as this was essentially the root of many of my relapses before 2002 (FWIW, at least three of those relapses were after 18 or more months of sobriety). Feel free to PM me if you want to chat more about any of this.

Rockbottom1964

Thanks, Dusty for the pick-me-upper. I'll come back to you later in the week, if that's all right. Perhaps we can PM and I can send you some of the ideas/content in the new book. Perhaps use you as a Beta-reader if you would like? I would love some input from a fellow writer.
The book that's a flop (in my opinion), is called "Wizard Born" by the way, and my Author name is Corrie Mitchell. You can read the first few pages for free on Amazon - just don't buy the book, please; I'm going to remove it from Amazon.
Thanks again. A good word is always welcome.
RB

Rockbottom1964

Hi, Novips. Thanks, but no thanks. I'm not interested in AA or its Big Book, thank you. Or quotes from it. I've become sober without it, and from what I see and hear, it's not for me. Thanks, anyway.

dustyfox

Hi RB - ok I am just going to say this - having read the first few pages - I think you can really write! But your writers 'power' may be in describing the world you are in - there was something more raw and immediate about your posts - anyway I don't want to hijack your thread - many best wishes.

Boondock

Faulkner on writing,
In stead of telling us a thing was "terrible," describe it so that we'll be terrified. Don't say it was "delightful", make us say "delightful". All those words ( horrifying, wonderful, hideous, exquisite) are only like saying to your readers "please will you do my job for me".
Thought you might like that, hang in there man....

Mizz

This may be helpful or may not .....

Kaneda talks about perseverance. You are persevering. I do think your situation is one where you are able to change the way you think about this problem and find solutions. Don't give up on yourself and don't give up on finding the solution. The solution is there.

We all struggle to certain degrees. Some more than others. When I got sober again, I still had quite a bit of suffering going on. Chronic anxiety and self medicating with alcohol left me in a place where I was extremely toxic and unable to be healthy mentally and emotionally. My life condition, frame of mind and overall attitude towards the world and others was very harsh and it was unrelenting. I needed to find a way to overcome the suffering and create change in my life and mind.
I am not saying the above is you..... I do think we all have negative life tendencies that we need to overcome in order to live more productive meaningful lives. I do know that we can overcome the negative and turn it into something positive.

No matter the situation we can overcome our obstacles and not be defeated by them. We can win small victories everyday. We can work towards changing ourselves, our lives and we can most certainly overcome our personal struggles and live lives that are happy, hopeful and successful.

I was guided towards Nichiren Buddhism. The practice involves chanting. The practice also involves readings that are life affirming and empowering. I need hope in my life. I need to feel empowered. I need to know that I can overcome my problems with effort and determination. Most importantly I needed so much to end the suffering in my head, changing my inner dynamic and seeing that I could look at life and my problems differently. It took me a bit of time to understand what I was doing when I started chanting. I figured if it worked for others then I don't see why it would not work for me? I was desperate for relief.

Nam Myoho Renge Kyo. The practice of Nichiren Buddhism. It is for our own happiness and well- being. To end our internal suffering. To be happy and to help others achieve happiness.

If you have a belief system or spiritual practice I do hope you are reaching in deep and bringing those beliefs or practice to the forefront of your life. All our struggles and obstacles are not insurmountable. You have the power to change the way you are thinking about this situation. You are a very strong individual and you have a unique mission on this planet. We all have a unique mission. I believe in the power that you hold to change your life condition. Some of the things that you are saying no to now just might be things that you say yes to in the future.

And......I really hope this does not come off as preachy .....I can only offer what has worked for me in my life thus far to overcome my own personal struggles. ....... The practice has worked. Its tangible.

Rockbottom1964

Thanks, BD.

Rockbottom1964

Thank you, Mizz. I'm (still) learning more about myself every day, and also surprise myself quite often. One of the things about inner strength that I'm grateful for, is the ability to reach deep inside and find that quiet; without which, I probably would have gone insane months ago. I do talk to myself a lot, really - I'm often the only person around when I need a chat. Or the only sober one.
The chanting bit, I'll leave for now. Keep in mind that the two crazies here go to bed at 6 or 7, when they can't sit up any longer and the bottle is empty, and I don't want to wake them. Perhaps I'll give it a try when I'm out of here. I'm willing to give anything that will make life better a shot. In the meantime, there are dogs, trees, and God.
Enjoy the rest of the week, Mizz.

Dropsie

I think you are being much too hard on yourself -- just read the first pages and you write well -- I enjoyed it.

So there!

Rockbottom1964

Thanks, Dropsie-friend. The pages/beginning you read, is actually outdated as well. I have re-written them a month or so back, and the new(er) version is shorter and sweeter/better. I'm not even going to change it on Amazon now, though, because one of the rules of the writing game is to not waste your time on a series that does not work - ie. NOT making money - which is what I need right now. Perhaps I'll get back to it in a couple of years from now, when I finish the romance/contemporary series I have just begun. We'll see...But thank you Drops, and have a wonderful day.
RB

Steely

I'm hoping your next novel will expand on all that was contained in your op's.

I'm glad you got it off your chest.

If you can't get out of it physically, financially, the only way is with your mind.

Peace.

Briansy

How are you feeling about things now, Rock? Any change? Looking up?

Patcha

You're in a really hard spot. I'm so sorry. I think you're doing great to stay sober under those conditions. I hope you keep posting here on SR. I think you have a lot to share that will help others in dire and difficult circumstance with no immediate or obvious remedies. Your determination and strength of character is remarkable. Thank you for sharing your truth with us.

Rockbottom1964

Hi, Briansy. No change, friend. I'm switching off and going to my "own secret place" more often these days, I find. Where there's peace and quiet and without which I'll go bonkers. I really thank my Maker for giving me a great imagination, and my dogs. And hope of course.
To top it all, the government here has banned the sale of booze again, and the two crazies will soon run out of stock. Then the withdrawal will start again, which in some ways - like I said the last time booze was banned here - is worse in many ways than coping with them when they're drunk.
Have a great weekend, Briansy.

Rockbottom1964

Hi, Patcha. Thank you, and have a nice weekend.
RB.

Patcha

How are you doing rock-bottom? Are you affected by the violence happening at the moment? Are you covid safe? Hope you can check in soon.

Rockbottom1964

Hi, Patcha. I live very close to some of the main "burning points", as a matter of fact. I can hear guns almost every night - automatic rifle fire as well. But in South Africa, we're used to it. We are the 5th most dangerous country in the world to live in.... https://businesstech.co.za/news/life...-live-in-fear/
Violence is an everyday thing, here; it's part of the culture. More than 200 (Two hundred) shopping malls have already been emptied out (and some burned as well) by looters in just three days. Food like bread is not getting delivered to shops; banks are closed; ATM's are ripped or blown open and the money stolen; people are shooting the looters to protect their businesses and they are then arrested by the police, who are - a huge number of them in any way - in cahoots with the looters.(some police have already been arrested after leaving shopping malls with their official police vehicles packed with stolen stuff. Ever see a six-feet high ATM wheeled down the street suspended between two shopping trolleys, to an open veld where it can be broken open or blown up to get to the money inside? Come to South Africa and you will...
The black people say they're doing it because of Zuma - the ex-President, who with his buddies, the Guptas, have stolen this country right to the brink of bankruptcy while he was President - but it's not. It's thanks to a Government that closes down thousands more businesses "because of Covid" and allowing even more people to lose their jobs in a country with an "unofficial" unemployment rate already approaching 50%. Yes - FIFTY percent. To top it all, there are no unemployment benefits for these people who are not allowed to work, as the government's Unemployment fund is bankrupt... So Ramaphosa and his ANC cronies are really saying - you're not allowed to go to work, we don't give a s*** if your children has food or not... I'd much rather die of Covid than of hunger, won't you? But that's the old fat-cat ANC government for you, where MP's salaries have increased by a 1000% (One thousand percent) in the last twenty years.
I wish to God I could leave this S***hole.
Have a nice day/evening, Patcha.