Day 7 and a Decision
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 3,163
I am literally screaming at my screen -- DON'T DO IT JASE.
Why -- because I could be you 6-7 years ago. You have done this thing. 7 days is huge. None of us know if we have another quit in us.
To stop drinking is an amazing feat. We do not pat ourselves on our backs often enough.
Alcohol is one of the most addicting substances there is because it is so much in the head. And it is so tricky that AV.
You seem like a great person -- you are starting to get a good vibe around not drinking, you are starting to roll down hill -- please don't push the ball back up...
For me, in the end, it was all about the decision -- I do not drink and I will never quit the decision. Because I had already decided - past tense - I did not drink, there was no decision to take.
The rest was execution.
You got this friend.
Why -- because I could be you 6-7 years ago. You have done this thing. 7 days is huge. None of us know if we have another quit in us.
To stop drinking is an amazing feat. We do not pat ourselves on our backs often enough.
Alcohol is one of the most addicting substances there is because it is so much in the head. And it is so tricky that AV.
You seem like a great person -- you are starting to get a good vibe around not drinking, you are starting to roll down hill -- please don't push the ball back up...
For me, in the end, it was all about the decision -- I do not drink and I will never quit the decision. Because I had already decided - past tense - I did not drink, there was no decision to take.
The rest was execution.
You got this friend.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2021
Location: London
Posts: 333
Originally Posted by Dee74 
Scd I think you’d be better off posting your own experience, rather than trying to be devils advocate and covering all the bases.
For me, and 99.99% of other posters here our alcoholism was progressive. To suggest to someone that their pattern of drinking is somehow ok (!) and will never change (!!) is to my mind, a disservice - it’s something that you can’t possibly know and IMO, dangerous to imply.
D
For me, and 99.99% of other posters here our alcoholism was progressive. To suggest to someone that their pattern of drinking is somehow ok (!) and will never change (!!) is to my mind, a disservice - it’s something that you can’t possibly know and IMO, dangerous to imply.
D
My pattern of drinking was always evening, it creeped into the afternoon when i was out and about with mates but as a rule it was evening. I have never taken a morning drink as it would not interest me to do so. I have mates that did do the daily drinking thing and they were experimenting with morning drinks from almost the start, they didn't turn from evening drinking of 20-30 years to suddenly a morning drinker. My drinking got heavier with tolerance and then reset with attempts to stay sober. On a very rare day, assuming i was drinking from 12pm, to midnight i could possibly do a bottle of 750ml spirits but that level is not my norm. The problem with assuming that everyone is going to end up on skid row drinking a litre of vodka a day is that in my experience of years in AA this is the absolute minority of people out of the 1000s i have met and you cannot sell someone the program like they have already lost everything because they haven't and probably won't. They are going to have to keep hitting a brick wall until they are ready to go for complete abstinence, or a good enough reason will come along for them to scrap the booze for good. Or, like i have said a few times and most people do, is they find a motivation to moderate or not bother with it at all, that's my real life experience with the problem drinkers i have met. But i can't say to a 30 year old 8 beer a night person that they will end up a daytime drinker and lose everything because after a few AA meetings they are going to realise that i am full of it. I can show that life can be a lot more fun and less of a hassle without alcohol, as the extra time and energy you will have will allow you do the things you've always wanted to do providing you get the emotional support you need to allow you to believe that you can do those things and you deserve those things.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by Scd619x
But i can't say to a 30 year old 8 beer a night person that they will end up a daytime drinker and lose everything because after a few AA meetings they are going to realise that i am full of it.
voices ca**y
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,366
Originally Posted by Scd619x
Apologies Dee, i'' try and explain my POV
My pattern of drinking was always evening, it creeped into the afternoon when i was out and about with mates but as a rule it was evening. I have never taken a morning drink as it would not interest me to do so. I have mates that did do the daily drinking thing and they were experimenting with morning drinks from almost the start, they didn't turn from evening drinking of 20-30 years to suddenly a morning drinker. My drinking got heavier with tolerance and then reset with attempts to stay sober. On a very rare day, assuming i was drinking from 12pm, to midnight i could possibly do a bottle of 750ml spirits but that level is not my norm. The problem with assuming that everyone is going to end up on skid row drinking a litre of vodka a day is that in my experience of years in AA this is the absolute minority of people out of the 1000s i have met and you cannot sell someone the program like they have already lost everything because they haven't and probably won't. They are going to have to keep hitting a brick wall until they are ready to go for complete abstinence, or a good enough reason will come along for them to scrap the booze for good. Or, like i have said a few times and most people do, is they find a motivation to moderate or not bother with it at all, that's my real life experience with the problem drinkers i have met. But i can't say to a 30 year old 8 beer a night person that they will end up a daytime drinker and lose everything because after a few AA meetings they are going to realise that i am full of it. I can show that life can be a lot more fun and less of a hassle without alcohol, as the extra time and energy you will have will allow you do the things you've always wanted to do providing you get the emotional support you need to allow you to believe that you can do those things and you deserve those things.
My pattern of drinking was always evening, it creeped into the afternoon when i was out and about with mates but as a rule it was evening. I have never taken a morning drink as it would not interest me to do so. I have mates that did do the daily drinking thing and they were experimenting with morning drinks from almost the start, they didn't turn from evening drinking of 20-30 years to suddenly a morning drinker. My drinking got heavier with tolerance and then reset with attempts to stay sober. On a very rare day, assuming i was drinking from 12pm, to midnight i could possibly do a bottle of 750ml spirits but that level is not my norm. The problem with assuming that everyone is going to end up on skid row drinking a litre of vodka a day is that in my experience of years in AA this is the absolute minority of people out of the 1000s i have met and you cannot sell someone the program like they have already lost everything because they haven't and probably won't. They are going to have to keep hitting a brick wall until they are ready to go for complete abstinence, or a good enough reason will come along for them to scrap the booze for good. Or, like i have said a few times and most people do, is they find a motivation to moderate or not bother with it at all, that's my real life experience with the problem drinkers i have met. But i can't say to a 30 year old 8 beer a night person that they will end up a daytime drinker and lose everything because after a few AA meetings they are going to realise that i am full of it. I can show that life can be a lot more fun and less of a hassle without alcohol, as the extra time and energy you will have will allow you do the things you've always wanted to do providing you get the emotional support you need to allow you to believe that you can do those things and you deserve those things.
Then there are people like me. I started abusing alcohol in my 30s and made it 10 years before I was about to enter into the real end-stage. It got progressively worse throughout that time. By the end, I was drinking a pint of whiskey (437 ml) a night. I could have drunk more but buying that amount was my attempt at moderation. I finally figured out what was happening to me. I finally got that I was in just as much trouble as my brother (if not more because I wasn't going to last. Either the alcohol killed me or I'd do it myself). I was going to go from the responsible, hard-working, loving mother and wife to the woman laying drunk on the couch 24/7 in just over a decade. It spins really fast at the end. It also made recovery harder. Had I figured it out just two years earlier I don't think I would have gotten my butt handed to me with PAWS the way I did.
This doesn't just apply to alcohol. If we could see our abusive situations for what they really were we would spare no effort in getting free. That's been the key for me at least. Then I started to take advice from people searching for some commonality I could use instead of saying "that doesn't apply to me."
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2021
Location: Nottingham, UK
Posts: 150
Hey Guys
Im fine
. I really do appreciate all your comments/opinions and it made me think long and hard. I'll still be here posting and touch wood (*touches head*) as a sober person!
Im fine
. I really do appreciate all your comments/opinions and it made me think long and hard. I'll still be here posting and touch wood (*touches head*) as a sober person!Not The Way way, Just the way
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: US
Posts: 1,413
Originally Posted by JaseUK
Hey Guys
Im fine. I really do appreciate all your comments/opinions and it made me think long and hard. I'll still be here posting and touch wood (*touches head*) as a sober person!
Im fine
. I really do appreciate all your comments/opinions and it made me think long and hard. I'll still be here posting and touch wood (*touches head*) as a sober person!Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 212,823
Originally Posted by Scd619x
Apologies Dee, i'' try and explain my POV
My pattern of drinking was always evening, it creeped into the afternoon when i was out and about with mates but as a rule it was evening. I have never taken a morning drink as it would not interest me to do so. I have mates that did do the daily drinking thing and they were experimenting with morning drinks from almost the start, they didn't turn from evening drinking of 20-30 years to suddenly a morning drinker. My drinking got heavier with tolerance and then reset with attempts to stay sober. On a very rare day, assuming i was drinking from 12pm, to midnight i could possibly do a bottle of 750ml spirits but that level is not my norm. The problem with assuming that everyone is going to end up on skid row drinking a litre of vodka a day is that in my experience of years in AA this is the absolute minority of people out of the 1000s i have met and you cannot sell someone the program like they have already lost everything because they haven't and probably won't. They are going to have to keep hitting a brick wall until they are ready to go for complete abstinence, or a good enough reason will come along for them to scrap the booze for good. Or, like i have said a few times and most people do, is they find a motivation to moderate or not bother with it at all, that's my real life experience with the problem drinkers i have met. But i can't say to a 30 year old 8 beer a night person that they will end up a daytime drinker and lose everything because after a few AA meetings they are going to realise that i am full of it. I can show that life can be a lot more fun and less of a hassle without alcohol, as the extra time and energy you will have will allow you do the things you've always wanted to do providing you get the emotional support you need to allow you to believe that you can do those things and you deserve those things.
My pattern of drinking was always evening, it creeped into the afternoon when i was out and about with mates but as a rule it was evening. I have never taken a morning drink as it would not interest me to do so. I have mates that did do the daily drinking thing and they were experimenting with morning drinks from almost the start, they didn't turn from evening drinking of 20-30 years to suddenly a morning drinker. My drinking got heavier with tolerance and then reset with attempts to stay sober. On a very rare day, assuming i was drinking from 12pm, to midnight i could possibly do a bottle of 750ml spirits but that level is not my norm. The problem with assuming that everyone is going to end up on skid row drinking a litre of vodka a day is that in my experience of years in AA this is the absolute minority of people out of the 1000s i have met and you cannot sell someone the program like they have already lost everything because they haven't and probably won't. They are going to have to keep hitting a brick wall until they are ready to go for complete abstinence, or a good enough reason will come along for them to scrap the booze for good. Or, like i have said a few times and most people do, is they find a motivation to moderate or not bother with it at all, that's my real life experience with the problem drinkers i have met. But i can't say to a 30 year old 8 beer a night person that they will end up a daytime drinker and lose everything because after a few AA meetings they are going to realise that i am full of it. I can show that life can be a lot more fun and less of a hassle without alcohol, as the extra time and energy you will have will allow you do the things you've always wanted to do providing you get the emotional support you need to allow you to believe that you can do those things and you deserve those things.
Scotts post spoke eloquently for me and the way I feel about this community and the people in it, so no need for me to rehash
D
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