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Day 7 and a Decision

Old 05-31-2021, 07:16 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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I am literally screaming at my screen -- DON'T DO IT JASE.

Why -- because I could be you 6-7 years ago. You have done this thing. 7 days is huge. None of us know if we have another quit in us.

To stop drinking is an amazing feat. We do not pat ourselves on our backs often enough.

Alcohol is one of the most addicting substances there is because it is so much in the head. And it is so tricky that AV.

You seem like a great person -- you are starting to get a good vibe around not drinking, you are starting to roll down hill -- please don't push the ball back up...

For me, in the end, it was all about the decision -- I do not drink and I will never quit the decision. Because I had already decided - past tense - I did not drink, there was no decision to take.

The rest was execution.

You got this friend.
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Old 05-31-2021, 07:16 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Good luck with that.

We'll leave a light on.
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Old 05-31-2021, 09:22 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
Scd I think youíd be better off posting your own experience, rather than trying to be devils advocate and covering all the bases.

For me, and 99.99% of other posters here our alcoholism was progressive. To suggest to someone that their pattern of drinking is somehow ok (!) and will never change (!!) is to my mind, a disservice - itís something that you canít possibly know and IMO, dangerous to imply.

D
Apologies Dee, i'' try and explain my POV

My pattern of drinking was always evening, it creeped into the afternoon when i was out and about with mates but as a rule it was evening. I have never taken a morning drink as it would not interest me to do so. I have mates that did do the daily drinking thing and they were experimenting with morning drinks from almost the start, they didn't turn from evening drinking of 20-30 years to suddenly a morning drinker. My drinking got heavier with tolerance and then reset with attempts to stay sober. On a very rare day, assuming i was drinking from 12pm, to midnight i could possibly do a bottle of 750ml spirits but that level is not my norm. The problem with assuming that everyone is going to end up on skid row drinking a litre of vodka a day is that in my experience of years in AA this is the absolute minority of people out of the 1000s i have met and you cannot sell someone the program like they have already lost everything because they haven't and probably won't. They are going to have to keep hitting a brick wall until they are ready to go for complete abstinence, or a good enough reason will come along for them to scrap the booze for good. Or, like i have said a few times and most people do, is they find a motivation to moderate or not bother with it at all, that's my real life experience with the problem drinkers i have met. But i can't say to a 30 year old 8 beer a night person that they will end up a daytime drinker and lose everything because after a few AA meetings they are going to realise that i am full of it. I can show that life can be a lot more fun and less of a hassle without alcohol, as the extra time and energy you will have will allow you do the things you've always wanted to do providing you get the emotional support you need to allow you to believe that you can do those things and you deserve those things.
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Old 05-31-2021, 09:36 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Scd619x View Post
But i can't say to a 30 year old 8 beer a night person that they will end up a daytime drinker and lose everything because after a few AA meetings they are going to realise that i am full of it.
You also cannot definitively tell that same person that they won't - and that's where the crux of the issue lies. Just like AA is a sobriety community, so is SR. It is very specifically noted in our forum guidelines ( that each of us agree to when signing up for the privilege of becoming part of the community ) that the promotion of drinking in any shape or form is against forum guidelines. Certainly we know that not every member of this community is completely sober, many people are actively drinking and trying to quit, or some are just actively drinking and figuring out if they want to quit or not. Having said that, suggesting that someone follow through with a plan to keep drinking in any quantity is a violation of our site policy and not allowed. It might not fit some people's personal philosophy, but it's a rule for a reason and a tenet of our community.


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Old 05-31-2021, 12:47 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Scd619x View Post
Apologies Dee, i'' try and explain my POV

My pattern of drinking was always evening, it creeped into the afternoon when i was out and about with mates but as a rule it was evening. I have never taken a morning drink as it would not interest me to do so. I have mates that did do the daily drinking thing and they were experimenting with morning drinks from almost the start, they didn't turn from evening drinking of 20-30 years to suddenly a morning drinker. My drinking got heavier with tolerance and then reset with attempts to stay sober. On a very rare day, assuming i was drinking from 12pm, to midnight i could possibly do a bottle of 750ml spirits but that level is not my norm. The problem with assuming that everyone is going to end up on skid row drinking a litre of vodka a day is that in my experience of years in AA this is the absolute minority of people out of the 1000s i have met and you cannot sell someone the program like they have already lost everything because they haven't and probably won't. They are going to have to keep hitting a brick wall until they are ready to go for complete abstinence, or a good enough reason will come along for them to scrap the booze for good. Or, like i have said a few times and most people do, is they find a motivation to moderate or not bother with it at all, that's my real life experience with the problem drinkers i have met. But i can't say to a 30 year old 8 beer a night person that they will end up a daytime drinker and lose everything because after a few AA meetings they are going to realise that i am full of it. I can show that life can be a lot more fun and less of a hassle without alcohol, as the extra time and energy you will have will allow you do the things you've always wanted to do providing you get the emotional support you need to allow you to believe that you can do those things and you deserve those things.
I've noticed some people seem to be more chronic alcoholics and some of us more acute. My brother has been one since the age of 14 and is in his 50s now. It has screwed up his life all along the way but he still manages to work and have a relationship. It causes huge problems for him externally not to mention the anxiety, self-loathing, and depression but no he started off bad 40 years ago and has had more consequences but his drinking hasn't seemed to escalate.

Then there are people like me. I started abusing alcohol in my 30s and made it 10 years before I was about to enter into the real end-stage. It got progressively worse throughout that time. By the end, I was drinking a pint of whiskey (437 ml) a night. I could have drunk more but buying that amount was my attempt at moderation. I finally figured out what was happening to me. I finally got that I was in just as much trouble as my brother (if not more because I wasn't going to last. Either the alcohol killed me or I'd do it myself). I was going to go from the responsible, hard-working, loving mother and wife to the woman laying drunk on the couch 24/7 in just over a decade. It spins really fast at the end. It also made recovery harder. Had I figured it out just two years earlier I don't think I would have gotten my butt handed to me with PAWS the way I did.

This doesn't just apply to alcohol. If we could see our abusive situations for what they really were we would spare no effort in getting free. That's been the key for me at least. Then I started to take advice from people searching for some commonality I could use instead of saying "that doesn't apply to me."
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Old 05-31-2021, 12:59 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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We’ve all tried that experiment. Didn’t work.
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Old 05-31-2021, 02:57 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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Jase, how are you?
I tried so hard to become a social drinker - with dire results. We don't want that for you.
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Old 05-31-2021, 03:01 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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Jase, Whatever is going on for you, I think you can tell there are many of us who care - weekends and bank holidays are tough!
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Old 05-31-2021, 04:10 PM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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Hey Guys
Im fine . I really do appreciate all your comments/opinions and it made me think long and hard. I'll still be here posting and touch wood (*touches head*) as a sober person!

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Old 05-31-2021, 04:28 PM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by JaseUK View Post
Hey Guys
Im fine . I really do appreciate all your comments/opinions and it made me think long and hard. I'll still be here posting and touch wood (*touches head*) as a sober person!
What are your plans for the future use of alcohol, now? Did you buy the alcohol?
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Old 05-31-2021, 04:40 PM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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I'm glad you'll still be posting Jase.
I didn't want to give up my drinking life cos it was the only one I could remember - but I gained a far better one, sober.

D
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Old 05-31-2021, 04:45 PM
  # 32 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Scd619x View Post
Apologies Dee, i'' try and explain my POV

My pattern of drinking was always evening, it creeped into the afternoon when i was out and about with mates but as a rule it was evening. I have never taken a morning drink as it would not interest me to do so. I have mates that did do the daily drinking thing and they were experimenting with morning drinks from almost the start, they didn't turn from evening drinking of 20-30 years to suddenly a morning drinker. My drinking got heavier with tolerance and then reset with attempts to stay sober. On a very rare day, assuming i was drinking from 12pm, to midnight i could possibly do a bottle of 750ml spirits but that level is not my norm. The problem with assuming that everyone is going to end up on skid row drinking a litre of vodka a day is that in my experience of years in AA this is the absolute minority of people out of the 1000s i have met and you cannot sell someone the program like they have already lost everything because they haven't and probably won't. They are going to have to keep hitting a brick wall until they are ready to go for complete abstinence, or a good enough reason will come along for them to scrap the booze for good. Or, like i have said a few times and most people do, is they find a motivation to moderate or not bother with it at all, that's my real life experience with the problem drinkers i have met. But i can't say to a 30 year old 8 beer a night person that they will end up a daytime drinker and lose everything because after a few AA meetings they are going to realise that i am full of it. I can show that life can be a lot more fun and less of a hassle without alcohol, as the extra time and energy you will have will allow you do the things you've always wanted to do providing you get the emotional support you need to allow you to believe that you can do those things and you deserve those things.
I appreciate you taking the time to explain that - you and I have obviously experienced different things.

Scotts post spoke eloquently for me and the way I feel about this community and the people in it, so no need for me to rehash

D


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