Obladi

Hey man, how are you faring?

Rockbottom1964

Hi, O. I’m fine, thank you, and thanks for asking. Almost a 180 days clean; almost 6 months (will be on the 12th of June). South Africa is going to Level 3 Lock-down on Monday, which will see Liquor Stores re-opening after more than two months, and I have to admit the thought of celebrating with a couple of good bottles of wine has crossed my mind more than a few times – if only to show the South African authoritarian regime that I can. But it’s just a thought, and mostly fleeting. I think I’m strong enough now to keep “sticking it out”, but as we both know – never say never.

My dad and stepmom of course, can’t wait to revert back to their old drinking habits, which to me, are both a blessing and a curse, as in – withdrawal ugliness vs. drunken ugliness. Perhaps “better the devil you know than the one you don’t"…

I hope you are well, O?

Obladi

I'm doing well enough - thanks for asking.

You know what a bone-headed thing it would be to drink at your government, I'm sure. They don't care what you do, but you do and I do, so please bash that notion to a pulp.

How long til you can leave that place? Getting any writing done?

Obladi

p.s. "Good bottles of wine?" Rubbish! The stuff is vile, regardless of it's high-falutin reputation. Good pints of ice cream, I could get behind that.

Rockbottom1964

Hi, O. Travelling outside of provinces is a total no-no at the moment, unless you have a permit and a very good reason. They say at least until year-end. Government – again…

I’m writing, yes, and I plan to publish on Amazon end of July, and then every 6 weeks after that – to take advantage of Amazon’s “Rapid Release” system. By year-end my finances should be fine (hopefully very much so) and I’ll try to get away from here end of 2020 or early 2021. To the Western Cape; this is the furthest province away from here and also the last and only civilized one (province) left in my opinion. God alone knows how much I look forward to that. I keep promising the AV that once I’m down there, I will celebrate with a good Scotch and/or wine; until then I intend to remain sober, and hopefully, by then, he’ll/it will stop nagging me so much…

I hope you’re having a great weekend, O.

Obladi

Wonderful news on the writing front, Rock. This is something SMART advises- that we find a consuming interest and do it. It's so good you got some of that mojo back (or all of it?).

So you will move with a year sober. That sounds poetic, and right.

I swore off advice-giving a while back, so let me cautiously break my own rule without technically doing so... Practitioners of AVRT caution against mollifying the beast with promises to drink later. The beast doesn't understand time - It only "hears" the "yes." So we are really not entirely quit until that "later" becomes "never."

My experience is that I cannot comprehend the concept of the future, never really have. Of course I intellectually understand it, but I lack the capacity (or probably confidence) to conceptualize the future. So for MY beast, a promise of later drinking is indeed simply a "yes." So what works for me today is the conviction that I never drink now. It's always now, so I don't drink.

For me, your promise to drink later feels risky. It seems like that may be delaying the internal stuff that might be better dealt with now to a later time that coincides with that future drinking. For me, that would be a set-up for failure.

If none of that rings true for you, please disregard.

O

biminiblue

Oh, wow - they closed liquor stores for two months? That's an interesting social experiment...we are all in an interesting social experiment these days.

Congrats on your five months, RB. Coming up on six now, eh?

Can you find somewhere to live that's away from your drinking family? I moved 3500 miles away from mine in my twenties. Best decision ever.

Rockbottom1964

Hi again, O.

You have been at this “Sober-way-of-life” thing a lot longer than I have, O. So you know what you’re talking about, I’m sure. But at the moment – here and now and still very early days – I’m still testing a lot of water, so to speak. And at least up to now (this time, at least) it works for me. I guess I’m too scared/careful this soon in to push my luck, AV included. Memories of that first few weeks’ hell are still with me and I don’t want to go there again; it might just be very much worse this time. So right now I’m placating instead of challenging the AV, until I feel confident/strong enough to know I will win if/when I totally defy it. I hope you understand what I’m saying; it doesn’t read very well and I’m sure it makes even less sense. Early days, O. But it’s getting dark here, and at least today, I didn’t drink.

Rockbottom1964

Hi, Bimini. Yes, 66 days of booze and cigarette-ban, to be exact. But there’s still booze around, albeit not in the large quantities it used to be. People brew their own beer: Ginger, Pineapple, Apple, etc. (Some people here have died from drinking their own home-brewed stuff; a couple even from drinking hand-sanitizer). And the Black-market is flourishing, if you have money; Booze goes for three times (or more) it’s normal price, cigarettes up to ten times. Cigarettes will remain banned for longer still – until level two or even one, the government says. But there are court cases coming in the next couple of weeks, which by rights should set the decision to ban tobacco aside as irrational. It’s also almost general knowledge that the Minister heading the so-called “Covid Command Council” (only in Africa) has close ties with the South African cigarette and tobacco smuggling kingpin. Her son, as well, is a director of a cigarette manufacturing company. So…some people are making millions at the cost and misery of others. Again – par for the course in Africa.

Today is my 171st day sober, Bimini. On the 12th of June it will be 6 months; I stopped on the 12th of December2019.

Like I said to Obladi a couple of posts ago, travelling is out right now, maybe until the end of the year, so moving out is out as well.

Have a great rest of the weekend, Bimini.

Obladi

Yegods, Rock, don't tell me you've mistaken me for an expert on sobriety! Expert on relapsing, yes; sober guru, no. I just keep working at internalizing all I've learned from my failures.

When it comes from me, I most strenuously ask you to "take what works and leave the rest."

xo
O

Rockbottom1964

We're all here in that same boat (the quest for sobriety), O. Not one of us the same; all with different problems and challenges. But what makes it a lot better is that at least we have a place to share them. Without SR and my friends on it, I think I might have been drinking again not long after just a couple of weeks.
The atmosphere around here is almost like two kids waiting for Christmas; they won't say it, but it hangs in the air. Laughing more, giggling more and just overall happier. I'm waiting for tomorrow (when the booze shops open again) with a kind of "bemused anticipation", I suppose you can call it.
Have a great day, O, and a wonderful sober week.

Dropsie

Good for you!

Obladi

I don't think I'd have your strength, dealing with this nonsense in early sobriety. Hats off to you, my friend. The training you've been through over the past six months can't help but hold you in good stead.

I hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend as well.

O

timi0000

I'm really happy for you Rockbottom. For those who are still struggling and perhaps would like some advice I'd like to share with you what worked for me. The 2 things that enabled me to drop my addiction: 1. turning my life over to my Higher Power 2. Becoming more loving and helpful towards people.

Everyday I reaffirm that I am giving my life over to God, that I want him to come into my life, that I want to have a relationship with Him.

Becoming more loving started by posting positive messages on post it notes and leaving them in bathrooms and other public places. And then everyday I think of what I can to help someone that day or make their life easier. It has produced amazing results for me.

Rockbottom1964

Hi, timi, and thanks for your reply. My Higher Power? – Yes, I’m with you 100% there. If you read my first few posts, you’ll see that I laid a lot of the credit for my then (and continuing) sobriety at God’s feet. I honestly believe that I couldn’t have done it without His help. The “being kinder to people” part? – I hear you there as well, except I have another take on it: The longer I am sober, it seems to me, the more patience and the stronger my “turn-around-and-leave-it-lie” ability seem to become. Situations and behaviour that would have sparked my ire and/or a caustic, nasty response/reply, (and perhaps set me off drinking), these days seem to bother me much, much less. Perhaps an ongoing “paradigm shift” is the best way to describe it.

But the God part, to me, is a given. 214 Days today.

Have a great day.

Dropsie

Nice to hear you Rock.

Rockbottom1964

Thanks, Dropsie. have a great week.