Beckoning Cat's Accountability Thread
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Join Date: Mar 2020
Location: California
Posts: 738
Originally Posted by Dee74 
There are always big problems,
For me, the thing is to be the best me I can be so that I can help contribute to answers for the worlds problems.
I understand needing a break but I don;t think it needs to be either/or.
I can be both sober and fully engaged in social welfare and social justice.
Hope your break helps
D
For me, the thing is to be the best me I can be so that I can help contribute to answers for the worlds problems.
I understand needing a break but I don;t think it needs to be either/or.
I can be both sober and fully engaged in social welfare and social justice.
Hope your break helps
D
luring sobriety this way with my lucky charm
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2020
Location: California
Posts: 738
Originally Posted by Aellyce2
I have a sometimes excessive sense of responsibility as well, which can at times create a lot of restlessness, guilt and strong opinions that are not always the best to express. Unfortunately, when I am not in a good place, it can also lead to hypocrisy. Mine mostly manifests in my professional life and in some of those "bigger problem areas" you bring up an example for, and that's where I tend to experience most of the anxiety as well. I don't care nearly as much in other areas such as personal relationships, for example... as I have always been more interested in those bigger questions. However, many of the big problems start with and are cultivated due to the personal problems of those with great power and influence.
It can get a bit too much at times, but I would not want to change these things about myself, even when I struggle and feel like a misfit in environments where many or most people are reckless and don't care about much but smaller goals. I like it also because it helped me greatly to resolve my biggest personal issue ever: the drinking problem. My alcoholism luckily never progressed to stages that involved major losses and devastation, but way too much wasted time and lots of missed opportunities due to my making the wrong choices "in the moment" to be able to drink "freely". I found the extremely unpleasant states of cognitive dissonance about my own alcoholic irresponsibility and bad life management very helpful because it often reached levels that were unbearable - I could no longer look in the mirror at myself with those behaviors. It gave me intense motivation for change because it felt so alien to my sense of self. It wasn't enough to achieve lasting sobriety and to develop discipline and coping mechanisms that I felt aligned and satisfied with, but it did help to eliminate the biggest culprit: my drinking. Once I stopped that, developing better discipline became far easier in every area... but it took a while and it's an ongoing process. Even if you are not addicted to alcohol, you can consider why drinking is necessary at all, given that you have recurring problems and doubts due to a binging pattern that lands you in a bad place at least mentally.
You mentioned "coping", but what are you coping with and/or escaping from using the bad methods? You know well that it is not really possible to escape the big problems of humanity and the world, and they will not be resolved in any easy way... or at all. There are areas where we won't likely to grow wiser or more resourceful - in part that's why history tends to repeat itself, both on the individual and global levels. It is very possible to escape negative specific influences and mates though even if it takes considerable effort and lifestyle changes. Including online. I personally think is a very good idea to moderate one's online engagements, especially with strangers we cannot really know how genuine they are, who they really are. I've learned this in the hard way, from years of compulsive virtual interactions that didn't better my life at all, more the opposite... it took my focus and energy away from more constructive relationships and needs. I absolutely think "social distancing" is a great idea if you feel something becomes excessive, is no longer helpful and it is triggering, not only physically and not only during a pandemic. But if the true motive is to distance yourself so that you can fully engage in some not-so-constructive "coping" without external judgment, then maybe it is not such a great idea. Only you know, everyone else will just speculate and give subjective suggestions based on what we know and/or project.
It can get a bit too much at times, but I would not want to change these things about myself, even when I struggle and feel like a misfit in environments where many or most people are reckless and don't care about much but smaller goals. I like it also because it helped me greatly to resolve my biggest personal issue ever: the drinking problem. My alcoholism luckily never progressed to stages that involved major losses and devastation, but way too much wasted time and lots of missed opportunities due to my making the wrong choices "in the moment" to be able to drink "freely". I found the extremely unpleasant states of cognitive dissonance about my own alcoholic irresponsibility and bad life management very helpful because it often reached levels that were unbearable - I could no longer look in the mirror at myself with those behaviors. It gave me intense motivation for change because it felt so alien to my sense of self. It wasn't enough to achieve lasting sobriety and to develop discipline and coping mechanisms that I felt aligned and satisfied with, but it did help to eliminate the biggest culprit: my drinking. Once I stopped that, developing better discipline became far easier in every area... but it took a while and it's an ongoing process. Even if you are not addicted to alcohol, you can consider why drinking is necessary at all, given that you have recurring problems and doubts due to a binging pattern that lands you in a bad place at least mentally.
You mentioned "coping", but what are you coping with and/or escaping from using the bad methods? You know well that it is not really possible to escape the big problems of humanity and the world, and they will not be resolved in any easy way... or at all. There are areas where we won't likely to grow wiser or more resourceful - in part that's why history tends to repeat itself, both on the individual and global levels. It is very possible to escape negative specific influences and mates though even if it takes considerable effort and lifestyle changes. Including online. I personally think is a very good idea to moderate one's online engagements, especially with strangers we cannot really know how genuine they are, who they really are. I've learned this in the hard way, from years of compulsive virtual interactions that didn't better my life at all, more the opposite... it took my focus and energy away from more constructive relationships and needs. I absolutely think "social distancing" is a great idea if you feel something becomes excessive, is no longer helpful and it is triggering, not only physically and not only during a pandemic. But if the true motive is to distance yourself so that you can fully engage in some not-so-constructive "coping" without external judgment, then maybe it is not such a great idea. Only you know, everyone else will just speculate and give subjective suggestions based on what we know and/or project.
I have already deactivated my FB, and my therapist suggested that perhaps I make a Twitter that has NO political or "news" feed, that it only follows fun, entertaining, or spiritual things, so I have an alternative place to interact on-line that doesn't involve constantly being bombarded with the problems of the world. She also suggested setting a "timer" or alarm if I am reading the news or engaging with political issues, to "check in" with myself after thirty minutes. Asking myself am I okay, am I dealing with things on a detached, healthy intellectual level, or am I feeling upset, anxious, enraged or compulsive. She said if you are fine, then set the timer for another 30 minutes. If you find you are feeling emotionally in pain or angry or scared, then by all means, help yourself by turning it off and going to do something in the real world (take a walk, take a shower, etc).
My therapist also told me that it's completely normal for people who have experienced trauma to actually feel worse or more affected when things "quiet down" or they have more time to think about the past, or feel their feelings. People who leave urban areas, abusive situations, staying busy to distract themselves can suddenly feel MORE anxious because of situations like this pandemic lock-down since we are alone more often and sometimes have little or nothing to do. That's why it's not helpful to shame people or mock them for resuming substance abuse while things like this are happening.
"Whatever you can do, I can do sober" seems to be a helpful mantra on this forum, and I don't doubt the truth of it. On the other hand, it's not enough to help people who have experienced trauma or who have real underlying health issues. It's also more difficult to attend in-person meetings right now, or reach out even for the most basic human support from friends.
I have done a lot of work on myself during this time trying to cope in healthier ways. However, I've also had really bad patches. My therapist reassures me that I am making process, and I really do not want to drink at the moment. On the other hand, just "white knuckling" it or repeating things I've already known and understood intellectually for weeks, months, even a few years, obviously isn't the full answer. I need other systems of support or possibly even medication to deal appropriately with my issues so I can live a balanced life.
Thank you.
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Originally Posted by BeckoningCat
You also don't have my underlying mental health issues, though, and my therapist has since suggested that part of the problem is that I have no anti-anxiety meds and have been using alcohol to self-medicate. She is trying to get me to see a new psychiatrist who can work with me on getting some real solutions not based in the completely unscientific outdated methods of AA.
Be well!
D
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BC, just wanted to say sorry I hadn't read your last post before writing my response, I'm weird and sometimes write out my thoughts or posts before realizing there have been updated comments. So I wasn't trying to replicate your words or themes in my last post, but thought it would be even more weird if I tried to explain that. I could make a joke that I'm psychic, but fear there might be a grain of truth in that cause I tend to run into these mildly awkward situations somewhat frequently.
Anyway, I do completely understand your points about PTSD and the unscientific methods of AA (although there are some concepts/aspects of addiction AA did correctly identify, it just comes off as a bit outlandish without the context of scientific knowledge we have today). I'm also in an academic program studying how the addiction and abuse cycle are intimately related. Still not even half way through it though so I have a ways to go before I can write out any major epiphanies. But I would say no one here intends to shame, mock, or invalidate anyone's past trauma or underlying mental health issues. Many of us have had similar experiences and diagnosis's. However we do generally try to put addiction at the forefront of the conversation here.. As an addict it's often the last thing we want to talk about or address but also the most important factor in being able to work through and manage those larger or underlying issues. If you don't believe that applies to you, that's ok and the only person whose opinion should have any real power over you is your own..
Anyway, I do completely understand your points about PTSD and the unscientific methods of AA (although there are some concepts/aspects of addiction AA did correctly identify, it just comes off as a bit outlandish without the context of scientific knowledge we have today). I'm also in an academic program studying how the addiction and abuse cycle are intimately related. Still not even half way through it though so I have a ways to go before I can write out any major epiphanies. But I would say no one here intends to shame, mock, or invalidate anyone's past trauma or underlying mental health issues. Many of us have had similar experiences and diagnosis's. However we do generally try to put addiction at the forefront of the conversation here.. As an addict it's often the last thing we want to talk about or address but also the most important factor in being able to work through and manage those larger or underlying issues. If you don't believe that applies to you, that's ok and the only person whose opinion should have any real power over you is your own..
luring sobriety this way with my lucky charm
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Join Date: Mar 2020
Location: California
Posts: 738
I want to sincerely thank the people who have been genuinely supportive in this thread - especially Cosima, Dee, and Aellyce. I didn't mean to imply that anyone specific in this thread was mocking or shaming anyone. I was speaking in more general terms or maybe things I've seen elsewhere.
My issues with insomnia and anxiety began in my late teens. I used to have a problem with pacing, which thankfully I no longer usually do. Some things that helped me back then were riding my bike around my neighborhood at night (I lived with my grandparents in a gated neighborhood in a small town, so no this wasn't dangerous, this wasn't in L.A.). By my early 20s, I had experienced panic attacks, crying jags, bouts of depression, and by my mid-20s a couple of episodes of agoraphobia. This tendency towards extreme sensitivity runs in my family, and sometimes manifests itself later as mental illness. My great-aunt, my aunt, and one of my sisters were all actually institutionalized at some point for a few months. In every case though they experienced some kind of extreme trauma - typically involving rape/sexual assault or domestic violence that led to their "breakdown." The only one of these three people with a known drinking problem was my great-aunt, so it is not directly correlated to alcohol. Also, I personally did not even begin to have a real problem with alcohol (other than the usual drinking at parties with friends when I was around 20) that crept up on me in the past few years, so no, none of my symptoms began with alcohol use. That's why I get annoyed or defensive when people on here say that quitting drinking solved all of their problems, that it was the main source of their anxiety or emotional instability.
I experienced multiple deaths, including suicides, of people I was close to before I was 18 years old. I have a strained relationship with my mother, and experienced a relationship where there was a moderate level of domestic violence in my 20s. I also have experienced other things that I'd rather not talk about in detail. My therapist has even said that now is not the time to reassess the past - that my focus right now should be to be healthy in the present and to care about my future.
There are philosophies like French existentialism where anxiety is encouraged to be harnessed to make real changes in one's life, which is also kind the idea behind CBT or DBT therapy, where you use "bad feelings" to motivate changes in real-world behaviors. This does appeal to me because I believe in living out my values. I don't think it's enough to "believe in" something unless you do something about it, which is an existentialist perspective. It's why I have engaged in activism, don't eat meat, and eventually received a degree in environmental science. I must be able to apply my values to the real world.
That's why my therapist is trying to help me manage behaviors that are unhelpful - like timing my experiences with news or political social media to make sure I am coping and handling things intellectually rather than getting emotionally drained. I have always had this problem with "the news" and I remember even in my 20s almost entirely shutting down to it in my late 20s after I left my ex. It actually helped me personally a great deal. I stopped watching all television news, and most television at all. I never was a big tv watcher after my early 20s anyway, because I have opinions on how it misleads people's priorities and misdirects their mental energy, especially via advertising.
Ironically, though, spending too much time on social media - even if ostensibly to engage in political information or on-line activism - does exactly the same thing. I talked in my last post about how I understand getting angry and upset on-line isn't actually making a constructive difference in the real world, and being so bombarded with information that I become emotionally overwhelmed isn't supporting my ability to make constructive changes in my life.
Something I talked about with my therapist is how I have this super-rational side and then I have this extreme emotional side, and apparently one of the goals of DBT is to merge the two. The idea is that wisdom comes from a place where you honor both your intellect and your feelings or values, that it's not this divided thing - like some people are rational or emotional all the time, and some people like me divide myself into "two selves" - I have talked to my therapist about the two selves, and I think part of what stimulates my urge to drink is trying to live too much in intellect or rationality or perfectionism, so when I decide to honor my emotions again, I go to the other extreme and do completely irrational things to escape this rigidity. Another therapist I had in L.A. compared me to a rubber band. She said, you know how a rubber band, if it gets stretched too tight, when you finally let go, it goes bouncing all over the place?
So my plan is to follow some of my therapist's advice (and my own ideas) about limiting my social media and news consumption, in favor of self-care activities. But also to acknowledge that maybe in 10 days or 2 weeks I am going to possibly go through a phase where I don't sleep well for a couple of days, or I start getting fearful or angry about very real things that are in fact happening in the world. My therapist acknowledged this yesterday - she said, yeah, things are bad right now. There's climate change, now there's a pandemic, and even more recently, there are literal riots in the streets in our country. Protesters blocked off cars on the 101 freeway in L.A. just in the past week in support of the protests in Minneapolis. People are carrying military-grade weapons to protests about social distancing or businesses being shut-down. No, it's not good, and pretending that it is would be equally crazy.
Anyway, one suggestion that she made was occasionally using medical marijuana with a 1:1 ratio of CBD/THC to monitor anxiety. I've never had a problem with marijuana, I don't smoke, and I don't even understand why someone would want to do it every day. If this works for me, this could be a solution on occasion. Instead of taking an anti-anxiety pill, and obviously instead of binge drinking, I would take a controlled amount of 1:1 CBD/THC. This might stabilize me enough in a safe way so that I could easily move forward with my life the next day without worrying about the self-harm of binge drinking.
My issues with insomnia and anxiety began in my late teens. I used to have a problem with pacing, which thankfully I no longer usually do. Some things that helped me back then were riding my bike around my neighborhood at night (I lived with my grandparents in a gated neighborhood in a small town, so no this wasn't dangerous, this wasn't in L.A.). By my early 20s, I had experienced panic attacks, crying jags, bouts of depression, and by my mid-20s a couple of episodes of agoraphobia. This tendency towards extreme sensitivity runs in my family, and sometimes manifests itself later as mental illness. My great-aunt, my aunt, and one of my sisters were all actually institutionalized at some point for a few months. In every case though they experienced some kind of extreme trauma - typically involving rape/sexual assault or domestic violence that led to their "breakdown." The only one of these three people with a known drinking problem was my great-aunt, so it is not directly correlated to alcohol. Also, I personally did not even begin to have a real problem with alcohol (other than the usual drinking at parties with friends when I was around 20) that crept up on me in the past few years, so no, none of my symptoms began with alcohol use. That's why I get annoyed or defensive when people on here say that quitting drinking solved all of their problems, that it was the main source of their anxiety or emotional instability.
I experienced multiple deaths, including suicides, of people I was close to before I was 18 years old. I have a strained relationship with my mother, and experienced a relationship where there was a moderate level of domestic violence in my 20s. I also have experienced other things that I'd rather not talk about in detail. My therapist has even said that now is not the time to reassess the past - that my focus right now should be to be healthy in the present and to care about my future.
There are philosophies like French existentialism where anxiety is encouraged to be harnessed to make real changes in one's life, which is also kind the idea behind CBT or DBT therapy, where you use "bad feelings" to motivate changes in real-world behaviors. This does appeal to me because I believe in living out my values. I don't think it's enough to "believe in" something unless you do something about it, which is an existentialist perspective. It's why I have engaged in activism, don't eat meat, and eventually received a degree in environmental science. I must be able to apply my values to the real world.
That's why my therapist is trying to help me manage behaviors that are unhelpful - like timing my experiences with news or political social media to make sure I am coping and handling things intellectually rather than getting emotionally drained. I have always had this problem with "the news" and I remember even in my 20s almost entirely shutting down to it in my late 20s after I left my ex. It actually helped me personally a great deal. I stopped watching all television news, and most television at all. I never was a big tv watcher after my early 20s anyway, because I have opinions on how it misleads people's priorities and misdirects their mental energy, especially via advertising.
Ironically, though, spending too much time on social media - even if ostensibly to engage in political information or on-line activism - does exactly the same thing. I talked in my last post about how I understand getting angry and upset on-line isn't actually making a constructive difference in the real world, and being so bombarded with information that I become emotionally overwhelmed isn't supporting my ability to make constructive changes in my life.
Something I talked about with my therapist is how I have this super-rational side and then I have this extreme emotional side, and apparently one of the goals of DBT is to merge the two. The idea is that wisdom comes from a place where you honor both your intellect and your feelings or values, that it's not this divided thing - like some people are rational or emotional all the time, and some people like me divide myself into "two selves" - I have talked to my therapist about the two selves, and I think part of what stimulates my urge to drink is trying to live too much in intellect or rationality or perfectionism, so when I decide to honor my emotions again, I go to the other extreme and do completely irrational things to escape this rigidity. Another therapist I had in L.A. compared me to a rubber band. She said, you know how a rubber band, if it gets stretched too tight, when you finally let go, it goes bouncing all over the place?
So my plan is to follow some of my therapist's advice (and my own ideas) about limiting my social media and news consumption, in favor of self-care activities. But also to acknowledge that maybe in 10 days or 2 weeks I am going to possibly go through a phase where I don't sleep well for a couple of days, or I start getting fearful or angry about very real things that are in fact happening in the world. My therapist acknowledged this yesterday - she said, yeah, things are bad right now. There's climate change, now there's a pandemic, and even more recently, there are literal riots in the streets in our country. Protesters blocked off cars on the 101 freeway in L.A. just in the past week in support of the protests in Minneapolis. People are carrying military-grade weapons to protests about social distancing or businesses being shut-down. No, it's not good, and pretending that it is would be equally crazy.
Anyway, one suggestion that she made was occasionally using medical marijuana with a 1:1 ratio of CBD/THC to monitor anxiety. I've never had a problem with marijuana, I don't smoke, and I don't even understand why someone would want to do it every day. If this works for me, this could be a solution on occasion. Instead of taking an anti-anxiety pill, and obviously instead of binge drinking, I would take a controlled amount of 1:1 CBD/THC. This might stabilize me enough in a safe way so that I could easily move forward with my life the next day without worrying about the self-harm of binge drinking.
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Join Date: Jul 2010
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BC - just curious: why is your therapist suggesting "marijuana with a 1:1 ratio of CBD/THC" as opposed to CBD alone? CBD has proven anti-anxiety effects on its own, it has even been shown to help with drug cravings in some people. THC has been linked to many negative effects, including addiction and worsening anxiety/panic attacks, for many cannabis users. Why would it be useful to have that 1:1 combo? Does the therapist think that getting high from THC would be beneficial for you?
luring sobriety this way with my lucky charm
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Join Date: Mar 2020
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Originally Posted by Aellyce2
BC - just curious: why is your therapist suggesting "marijuana with a 1:1 ratio of CBD/THC" as opposed to CBD alone? CBD has proven anti-anxiety effects on its own, it has even been shown to help with drug cravings in some people. THC has been linked to many negative effects, including addiction and worsening anxiety/panic attacks, for many cannabis users. Why would it be useful to have that 1:1 combo? Does the therapist think that getting high from THC would be beneficial for you?
But I'm educated enough to know that marijuana can be used medically and it's a hell of a lot safer than binge drinking or even taking valium.
luring sobriety this way with my lucky charm
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2020
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Also I just want to point out that my therapist has a PhD in clinical psychology, she's not a social worker or a "counselor" and she wants to patch me through to people with PsyD's who are medical doctors with a specialization in psych. Medical marijuana is a completely valid and safe form of medicine. I would not be "smoking pot" I'd would be taking approximately 2.5 mg of CBD/THC 1:1, and even then only on occasions where I felt it was necessary not on a daily basis, which is nothing in the neighborhood of what most people would use recreationally.
One of the problems I have with AA is the bizarre outdated lack of doctors or clinical psychologists. People have said that addiction counseling in the West is stuck somewhere in the early 1900s while the rest of modern medicine has progressed into the 21st century. AA has discouraged people from taking legitimate medicine they needed for psychiatric issues, even otc things like tylenol pm or benedryl, which is culty. It's quackery. Medical marijuana has been deemed safe to use for various mental health issues and physical pain in California for a long, long time.
There's about 0 risk of me abusing it. If I were going to, I've had ample opportunity to do so during the majority of my adult life.
One of the problems I have with AA is the bizarre outdated lack of doctors or clinical psychologists. People have said that addiction counseling in the West is stuck somewhere in the early 1900s while the rest of modern medicine has progressed into the 21st century. AA has discouraged people from taking legitimate medicine they needed for psychiatric issues, even otc things like tylenol pm or benedryl, which is culty. It's quackery. Medical marijuana has been deemed safe to use for various mental health issues and physical pain in California for a long, long time.
There's about 0 risk of me abusing it. If I were going to, I've had ample opportunity to do so during the majority of my adult life.
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AA has discouraged people from taking legitimate medicine they needed for psychiatric issues, even otc things like tylenol pm or benedryl.
https://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-11...ersMedDrug.pdf
linked by permission of AA World Services
which is culty. It's quackery.
As far as marijuana goes - I assume your Dr knows the full ins and outs of your addictive history. What goes on with you and your Doctor and what they may prescribe is your business and none of mine.
What you post here is my business.
I'm the mod of the Marijuana forum here.
Try and be respectful of those who of us here who have had a problem with this drug and find it neither safe or non-addictive.
Originally Posted by rule 2
The forums are intended for offering mutual personal support related to recovery from addiction or recovery for family and friends. This is our primary purpose. Debating controversial subjects should be taken elsewhere. Limited references are allowed, but the forums should not be used to convert others.Do not post content or links or materials to and from sites that flame someone's person, religious beliefs, race, national background, sexual orientation, or recovery program/method. It is inappropriate to promote the use of alcohol or drugs on our addiction recovery forums.
thanks
Dee
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SR
[QUOTE]
luring sobriety this way with my lucky charm
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Just to reassure anyone here who struggled with marijuana use in their own life, I live in the freaking emerald triangle and have for the past three years. For the eight years prior to that I lived in close enough proximity to Venice Beach that I could have easily abused marijuana constantly. I could go to a dispensary today and buy straight thc in edible form without any cbd to balance it, since I'm an adult over the age of 21, just like I could purchase straight liquor with an ID (something else I have no desire to do).
Everyone is not the same. I appreciate people's support and their concern, but this is starting to remind me a little bit of a vegan forum where the vegans trash vegetarians, not just meat eaters, for not being "pure" enough. It isn't coming across well to me, even if you don't intend it that way, I'm going to trust myself, my own life experience, and my therapist who I have been seeing for over 2 years who has a PhD over anyone on an Internet forum or some random in a video meeting.
I have used CBD in the past, and I know it's highly effective for treating children with epilepsy, and for managing chronic pain. I had some quite expensive CBD at one point, I paid about $70 for the tincture, and I would say it's like taking a natural anti-inflammatory, that for people with arthritis, fibromyalgia, etc it's likely healthier than taking ibuprofen constantly. CBD is also extremely effective in the 1:1 ratio in controlling the psychotropic side effects of THC.
People who smoke crack have been treated with medical ecstasy, okay. If I can overcome binge drinking by taking a mere 2.5 mg of a cannabis tincture once a week or less, I'm doubtlessly going to be much healthier than someone who binge drinks, who doesn't sleep properly, or starts using benzos for anxiety, or a strong prescription sleeping pill .
Everyone is not the same. I appreciate people's support and their concern, but this is starting to remind me a little bit of a vegan forum where the vegans trash vegetarians, not just meat eaters, for not being "pure" enough. It isn't coming across well to me, even if you don't intend it that way, I'm going to trust myself, my own life experience, and my therapist who I have been seeing for over 2 years who has a PhD over anyone on an Internet forum or some random in a video meeting.
I have used CBD in the past, and I know it's highly effective for treating children with epilepsy, and for managing chronic pain. I had some quite expensive CBD at one point, I paid about $70 for the tincture, and I would say it's like taking a natural anti-inflammatory, that for people with arthritis, fibromyalgia, etc it's likely healthier than taking ibuprofen constantly. CBD is also extremely effective in the 1:1 ratio in controlling the psychotropic side effects of THC.
People who smoke crack have been treated with medical ecstasy, okay. If I can overcome binge drinking by taking a mere 2.5 mg of a cannabis tincture once a week or less, I'm doubtlessly going to be much healthier than someone who binge drinks, who doesn't sleep properly, or starts using benzos for anxiety, or a strong prescription sleeping pill .
luring sobriety this way with my lucky charm
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Join Date: Mar 2020
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I'm in my personal thread in the alcohol forum. I'm not in the marijuana forum and I am not being "insensitive" to anyone else's problems.
I think I'm done with this forum. Take care.
I think I'm done with this forum. Take care.
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
BC - I think it is fair for a community to have rules regarding the limits of discussion and arguing. Implementing this in a balanced way is what makes this forum quite different from many other forums I've used, where arguing and power struggles overshadow the original purpose of the forum. Also, I am not sure what you are saying about medical marijuana is correct (one of my professional areas happens to be related, but I don't intend to come here as an expert and educator) - it is a highly controversial field and form of treatment and there are way too many individual factors/differences in the experiences and outcome, it is much less straightforward and clear than many other forms of treatment, at least at the moment. So making generalizations and "it is..." statements can be dangerous, because many people may not react to it the way you do and vice versa. It can be much more effective and respectful to discuss things as your experiences and make statement like "potentially" etc.
I am saying these things because I had similar patterns of attitude in the past here and in many other places (part of the reason why I was drawn to your posts, I may be projecting some but perhaps not all) and people here pointed it out to me in very respectful, compassionate ways. It is different from a lot of the reactions I usually get in my everyday circles, e.g. from other scientists and mental health professional - we habitually tend to operate as "experts", that's also expected of us professionally. But I personally find different attitudes in communities like this very helpful. It is really worth to consider the feedback and do some introspection on where my attitude really comes from... not saying it is the same for you, only that it's really worth considering varied feedback as opposed to simply getting upset and stating that you know things enough and/or you are done. At least on your views about drug use - it is not addiction but binge drinking due to bad coping, marijuana won't hurt you because you had no issues in the past... etc. Most (all?) of us who did eventually identify with having had addiction started out that way and later sorely regretted not admitting and resolving it much earlier, when it was still occasional binging due to self-medicating or even just a bad form of occasional pleasure seeking instead of embracing healthy rewarding experiences. The biggest issue is often that denial - it can protect from unfair interference, but can also "protect" us from truly looking at what's going on and how we deal with problems. I hope you realize the feedback is not for the sake of imposing rules and authority, but also to give you different perspectives and models for how a community can operate. Surely it is your choice how to use it.
There are many potentially helpful medication options for anxiety, quite a few non-addictive as well. I would discuss options with a certified psychiatrist, probably one who specializes in your areas of concern. Some psychologists are also highly knowledgeable in psychopharmacology, but many medical doctors just tend to be more up-to-date on medication, including non-prescription possibilities. It can be helpful to consider all the available options before deciding X or Y will be a good one.
I am saying these things because I had similar patterns of attitude in the past here and in many other places (part of the reason why I was drawn to your posts, I may be projecting some but perhaps not all) and people here pointed it out to me in very respectful, compassionate ways. It is different from a lot of the reactions I usually get in my everyday circles, e.g. from other scientists and mental health professional - we habitually tend to operate as "experts", that's also expected of us professionally. But I personally find different attitudes in communities like this very helpful. It is really worth to consider the feedback and do some introspection on where my attitude really comes from... not saying it is the same for you, only that it's really worth considering varied feedback as opposed to simply getting upset and stating that you know things enough and/or you are done. At least on your views about drug use - it is not addiction but binge drinking due to bad coping, marijuana won't hurt you because you had no issues in the past... etc. Most (all?) of us who did eventually identify with having had addiction started out that way and later sorely regretted not admitting and resolving it much earlier, when it was still occasional binging due to self-medicating or even just a bad form of occasional pleasure seeking instead of embracing healthy rewarding experiences. The biggest issue is often that denial - it can protect from unfair interference, but can also "protect" us from truly looking at what's going on and how we deal with problems. I hope you realize the feedback is not for the sake of imposing rules and authority, but also to give you different perspectives and models for how a community can operate. Surely it is your choice how to use it.
There are many potentially helpful medication options for anxiety, quite a few non-addictive as well. I would discuss options with a certified psychiatrist, probably one who specializes in your areas of concern. Some psychologists are also highly knowledgeable in psychopharmacology, but many medical doctors just tend to be more up-to-date on medication, including non-prescription possibilities. It can be helpful to consider all the available options before deciding X or Y will be a good one.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
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Originally Posted by BeckoningCat
I'm in my personal thread in the alcohol forum. I'm not in the marijuana forum and I am not being "insensitive" to anyone else's problems.
I think I'm done with this forum. Take care.
I think I'm done with this forum. Take care.
Also..SR people rarely stay in only one forum, so the 'I'm not in their forum therefore I can't be accused of being insensitive' argument doesn't really work here, whether its regarding AA members or Marijuana addicts.
I hope you can find a way to be true to yourself and work within the rules.
D
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