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Old 07-14-2019, 12:41 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Another gig!


Singing with the husband’s band at a bar.

I sang and drank seltzer, and felt completely high on my own brain chemicals and sat with the band for a while talking about upcoming gigs. They continued drinking, I left the bar and drove home. I had a moment where it felt strange in a really awesome way to have it be close to midnight, I’m in heels, fitted dress, full makeup, done hair....and I’m driving home sober. The clothes plus the hour plus leaving a bar... I felt high on that for awhile; proud and happy and content that I didn’t have a stomach full of booze to deal with all night. Then I took my 13 year old for a late night dinner at a diner to break a 31 hour fast

Just a little note for those in early sobriety “how do I socialize sober?.....”. You find out what you like to do for fun instead of sitting around drinking, then you go enjoy yourself! You’ll have your time too. It’s not all awkwardness, discomfort, boredom and sitting around at home forever. It is for awhile. Pay your sober dues. Put in the time, put in the commitment, get yourself sober for as long as possible...then go find a life passion, and DO it.

Just another update from the long term sober people: adding posts about what life is like free from booze. There are a lot of posts from the desperately struggling or newly sober and miserable. So here’s a fun one for you.

Pay your dues. You’ll earn your time.
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Old 07-14-2019, 01:08 AM   #2 (permalink)
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good on you!

D
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Old 07-14-2019, 03:46 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Great stuff!
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Old 07-14-2019, 06:59 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Cool points on gig. I am right there with you. I went to the city fair. Band food carnival. You know the usual money sucking fairs. Lol. Yes they are not cheap . But the way I look at it we did not hesitate to go and buy a bunch of booze or buy beers at the fairs and all that now for me that has changed I don't mind spending for five bucks for a nice fresh glass of squeezed lemonade. People watch. Smell the ambiance. Then go home with sound mind. 71 days for me😁
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Old 07-14-2019, 08:33 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Thats awesome. Lost of fun. I did the bar band thing for about a dozen years with my wife singing. It was fun and work all at the same time. Loading in about 7pm. Playing like 10-2 then packing up and going to coney island at about 4 am. Lots of drinking those days although my wife did not drink. I have not played in a band sober. Maybe someday. Good deal on staying clean and having fun. Super cool taking out your daughter for late dinner.
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Old 07-14-2019, 10:29 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Sounds like an amazing night. Good for you!!
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Old 07-14-2019, 10:54 AM   #7 (permalink)
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For fun I enjoy going out to family-get-togethers. Taking my kids to amusement parks, having great food, reading of course, watching movies with the family, and going to the gym just to name a few. That to me is fun, and that's what life is about.
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Old 07-14-2019, 01:19 PM   #8 (permalink)
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That's awesome!!

The only bars I ever go to now is Hooters. Mostly because I put half the waitresses' through college with my bar tabs from back in the day. LOL

Seriously though, I still have a lot of friends there. I was there friday night and it's always a good time sober. I like the wings and I'll let myself go nuts once a week on them.

I bet your daughter appreciated the late night meal with a sober mom.

I live for those moments with my kids. It's an awesome thing when life sort of resets itself from the hell we clawed out of.

I really wish that more people would just "keep going" when they feel like early sobriety might be too much. Granted, it's one hell of a mountain to climb...but the world on the other side is so amazing for the most part.

Good for you Sassy!
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Old 07-14-2019, 06:16 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Thats awesome. Lost of fun. I did the bar band thing for about a dozen years with my wife singing. It was fun and work all at the same time. Loading in about 7pm. Playing like 10-2 then packing up and going to coney island at about 4 am. Lots of drinking those days although my wife did not drink. I have not played in a band sober. Maybe someday. Good deal on staying clean and having fun. Super cool taking out your daughter for late dinner.
The great irony is that its quite a drinking scene: but when I was a drinker, I stayed home to binge on alcohol and rarely went out. Now that Iím sober, Iím on stage singing. It makes me laugh a little. Life is funny like that sometimes.

I wonít go out unless Iím doing something fun. If itís just about drinking, basically Iím not going unless I absolutely have to. In that bar I think, you guys enjoy your drinking....Iíll just be up here having the time of my life with this microphone!
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Old 07-14-2019, 06:30 PM   #10 (permalink)
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That's awesome!!

The only bars I ever go to now is Hooters. Mostly because I put half the waitresses' through college with my bar tabs from back in the day. LOL

Seriously though, I still have a lot of friends there. I was there friday night and it's always a good time sober. I like the wings and I'll let myself go nuts once a week on them.

I bet your daughter appreciated the late night meal with a sober mom.

I live for those moments with my kids. It's an awesome thing when life sort of resets itself from the hell we clawed out of.

I really wish that more people would just "keep going" when they feel like early sobriety might be too much. Granted, it's one hell of a mountain to climb...but the world on the other side is so amazing for the most part.

Good for you Sassy!
Ah, yes. Hooters....for the food, of course!

Yep there’s this hump to get over, and once it’s traversed....with time....you can go anywhere; you can be anything, you can finally live, and alcohol issues, and other people drinking become insignificant. And the truth of that feels like sweet freedom.

These early folks need to JUST KEEP GOING!! Talk to me in a year. 18 months. You’ll be saying, ohhhhhh. So that’s what you were talking about.....
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Old 07-14-2019, 06:34 PM   #11 (permalink)
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For fun I enjoy going out to family-get-togethers. Taking my kids to amusement parks, having great food, reading of course, watching movies with the family, and going to the gym just to name a few. That to me is fun, and that's what life is about.
I love going to the gym. Love. It.

My gym is awesome because it has bouldering and I get to climb walls like a little kid. That, and I canít pull out of my depressive episodes; which are frequent and intense, without exercise. Exercise and the love of my husband and kids. Unfortunately, Iíve tried antidepressants and they all make me feel like a zombie. Exercise is my prescription. I have to do it. I donít always want to, especially when Iím sinking in my familiar black hole. But it works.
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Old 07-14-2019, 07:08 PM   #12 (permalink)
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I love going to the gym. Love. It.

My gym is awesome because it has bouldering and I get to climb walls like a little kid. That, and I canít pull out of my depressive episodes; which are frequent and intense, without exercise. Exercise and the love of my husband and kids. Unfortunately, Iíve tried antidepressants and they all make me feel like a zombie. Exercise is my prescription. I have to do it. I donít always want to, especially when Iím sinking in my familiar black hole. But it works.
Yeah I love going to the gym too, I find it to be very therapeutic. My goal now is to lose some weight. Just too much good food lately. So if I could lose like 20 pounds I'll be happy for sure 🙂
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Old Yesterday, 12:21 PM   #13 (permalink)
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close to midnight ..... Then I took my 13 year old for a late night dinner
Interesting! What is s/he doing up at midnight! LOL.
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Old Yesterday, 03:09 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Interesting! What is s/he doing up at midnight! LOL.
Dear lord this kid and her hours. Ever since she was little she naturally wants to be up at night. My husband is the same way and his parents and grandparents were like that; night owls. I am not. So you can imagine what it was like when she (and my other night owl, two out of three of my kids are wide awake at night) was little and I was constantly trying to get her to sleep. Even getting up early and high activity doesn’t phase her night hours.

She was so excited that I was up and high on adrenaline from a gig so late at night, so I thought I’d make it fun and take her out.

Usually I’m crashed out in bed just when she’s got energy and wants to be active.
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Old Yesterday, 03:16 PM   #15 (permalink)
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I can relate. The Sun goes down and I come to life. I really dislike mornings, but unfortunately life doesn't revolve around me. So It's up till day break when I get a chance.
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Old Yesterday, 03:28 PM   #16 (permalink)
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I can relate. The Sun goes down and I come to life. I really dislike mornings, but unfortunately life doesn't revolve around me. So It's up till day break when I get a chance.
I believe our genes put pressure on this...that some of us are genetically supposed to be up at night. We all probably survived better hundreds and thousands of years ago if there was a night watchman or watchwoman or two to guard against predators or bandits while people slept.

And yep I see that in my daughters and my husband...they can adapt to modern life hours, but the second they get some freedom? Up all night! My 13 year old can switch back and forth on these hours easier than me, also.
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Old Yesterday, 03:38 PM   #17 (permalink)
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I think you may be on to something!
Plus, like your singing, I worked in the entertainment business for twenty six years so I worked at all hours of the day and night. That's hard to shake.
I'm with you're family-up all night. But, ohhhh, trying to catch back up to a day time schedule.
I'm not as young as I used to be. It takes more recovery time!
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Old Yesterday, 03:41 PM   #18 (permalink)
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I think you may be on to something!
Plus, like your singing, I worked in the entertainment business for twenty six years so I worked at all hours of the day and night. That's hard to shake.
I'm with you're family-up all night. But, ohhhh, trying to catch back up to a day time schedule.
I'm not as young as I used to be. It takes more recovery time!
Oh, so much of life takes more recovery time!

Iíve had to learn that itís ok to rest and I donít have to push myself to prove anything, like I did in my 30ís.

Iíll bet youíve got some stories to tell, with that much time in the entertainment sector!
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Old Yesterday, 03:56 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Yeah, I've got some stories. It's a pretty conducive trade for drinking.
I didn't party like a rock star, I partied with rock stars.
I also watched co-workers die of alcoholism and drug abuse.
Glad I made it out alive. (Barely.)
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Old Yesterday, 06:39 PM   #20 (permalink)
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That reminds me of this story from Duff Mckagen(bass player for guns and roses)

' One sunday morning I went out to the house of one of Cully's friends to watch some football with a crew of professional moutain bikers. There were some empty beer bottles around.
One of the bikers said, "oh man, I'm so hungover"
"what did you guys do last night?" I asked.
"We partied like rock stars!"
"huh", I said. "What does that mean to you?"
"I drank a six pack by myself", said he hungover guy.
I chuckled.
Cully nodded in my direction and said, "oh, dont **** with this guy."
Cully knew. I had talked a lot with him since we became friends. Now I told the rest of them. I told them how much I drank, I told them about the blow, the rocks of coke I'd shove up my nose, about having no septum, about throwing up and drinking the throw up because there was alcohol in it the whole thing. And their faces dropped.

"Yeah," said the guy, "we partied like mountain bikers last night"

Duff has been clean for over 25 years now.
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