Stayingsassy

I wish people would keep going.

Especially since I see them relapse at the worst part, usually 3-6 months. It’s like I’m watching them climb up the hardest part of a mountain, they are almost at the peak, and then they fall off a cliff.

Usually with the addiction telling them “it’s too hard for me because of my past” or “my friends don’t want to hang” or “I have felt awkward and uneasy for months” because these lies work pretty well when you feel like garbage. Also there’s truth in all that with early sobriety. All that stuff does make it hard. Especially when you are feeling really raw.

It’s really hard to see people go back out JUST before it gets better. It makes my heart hurt, actually.

BullDog777

It gets extremely difficult to see time and time again.

It seems like a lot of times, particularly around 3-6 months...maybe close to a year, you physically start to feel better.

It takes longer for the brain to catch up, but by that time, the body starts to take over, and sometimes it starts to tell the brain lies.

Next thing you know, you get a little time in and you start to hear yourself saying "I'm cool, i feel great now. I'm sleeping, I'm eating right, my organs don't hurt all the time, maybe i'm not really all that bad ".

That's when the addiction starts to take over again and people start to disappear.

This is the part of early sobriety that needs to be addressed more.
It kinda reminds me of that old Big Book saying "What we really have is a daily reprieve, contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition." This is a 2 sided coin for me. I can be physically fine, but if my mind isn't right, I need to get it there. An that's where "willing to go to any length" comes in to play. Feel bad? go to a meeting. Come here. Write. Get therapy. Talk to someone about why you feel bad or sad or whatever it is. Just make sure you earn your day.

Hang in there long enough, things will drastically change.
For me, the exciting part came when the cravings and compulsions stopped. The obsession for booze was gone and that meant I had CHOICES. What a beautiful word that is, and nothing has ever been the same..

great thread Sassy.

Ghostlight1

Once, years ago, I thought I was doing everything right. Going to meetings and volunteering on the AA phone number, on Sunday mornings no less and had eight months sober.
One day I was doing my laundry and there was a convenience store behind the laundromat.
I thought, what could a six pack hurt. So I got one.
Needless to say, in short order I was back drinking full bore. And would be for another few years.
I was so disappointed in myself. My morale was so low. How could I have done it?
I had stopped going to meetings regularly. I wasn't helping other alcoholics.
I guess I felt I was cured. Hah!
Ten and a half years sober now, I know I'm not cured.
"What we really have is a daily reprieve, contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition."
Exactly. I don't plan on drinking today, but I can't say what's going to happen tomorrow.
A daily reprieve. It works. One day at a time.

I've lost the desire to drink and feel confident in my sobriety now. But I know now I'm one drink away from a drunk. I honestly don't know if I have another recovery in me.
I practice humility and try and help others. I don't get complacent. I think of the bad old days. It all helps keep me sober.

Stayingsassy

I am also one drink away from a drunk.

Never complacent. I am as alcoholic as the gutter drunk in the street, I’m just choosing not to drink.

Ghostlight1

Isn't it great, though, to be able to choose?
I remember those dark days when I had no choice.
Freedom. It's a beautiful thing