Day 1
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Dublin, Ireland.
Posts: 739
Good job, Getting Ready.
Your post about settling down and watching a movie with the kids made me smile. My girl was little when I began this journey and the fact that sobriety allows me to "be there" with her, as opposed to just being in the same space as her is something I really hold onto.
I have let her down on occasion due to my drinking and putting that right is the most important thing to me.
Keep posting here - the support is amazing.
Your post about settling down and watching a movie with the kids made me smile. My girl was little when I began this journey and the fact that sobriety allows me to "be there" with her, as opposed to just being in the same space as her is something I really hold onto.
I have let her down on occasion due to my drinking and putting that right is the most important thing to me.
Keep posting here - the support is amazing.
Lalacookee
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 15
Originally Posted by GettingReady 
Thank you everyone for your wise words...especially you Finalround. I totally wasn't thinking when I typed 'moms' I totally mean parents and I apoligize for that. Finalround, your reply gave me butterflies, to know you are were so similar to where I am now, & by C&C did you mean captain & coke, because that is me too! & guys, by cutting down to weekends that was my first goal, then I was going to cut that out too, so sorry about not claifying. I failed tonight, ended up drinking. It was the worse it was in awhile because I think I was angry with myself for not being able to not pour that drink, and I took it out on my husband. He's not home and I sent him terrible messages about being away and how I wish I never met him, how I'm raising the kids myself. So yeah, here I am, at an hour where I should be fast asleep, just read the evil messages I sent to my husband - which I barely remember doing and don't remember how I got upset in the first place. I think I have resentment because he lives a hotel life all week while I do all the parenting - I try to stay positive but I surely made up for that tonight. Ugh, I'm sorry everyone that I failed, mainly for my kids. I love them so much, if I keep going down this road what kind of mother will they have? One to be ashamed of? Like you guys, I'm a good person with a good heart with a dependency on this thing. This forum introduced me to the concept of 'AV - Alcoholic Voice'. I think the key to help me battle this thing is to really recognize it and learn how to not give in. I might take the day off work tomorrow, call in sick and start recovery. Thanks again everyone, it means the world to me that you all took the time to offer your support.
Raising kids by yourself is so lonely and difficult. You are not alone, by any stretch, for tuning to alcohol for comfort, make the evenings with kids more fun etc been there. My daughter hates me drinking and worries for me.
I can’t moderate, tried many many times. I’m 11 days sober now. A long way to go to feel like I’ve cracked it.
Good luck with your journey. We need to be out beta selves. Parenting wise, I know I need to quit. I am in sole charge of my kids. If something happens to me in a blackout, there is no one to raise them!
i missed mother’s day as I was so hungover! Only went out for one night out (rare) and drank low alcohol, pints of water between and had dinner. Thought I’d be ok! But no, fkt it all up again! Ruined the time for myself and my kids!
I’m certain you’ll find you cannot moderate and you will go back and forth and have more guilt etc until you finally accept, you have to quit completely forever. Like I am accepting 😩 good luck. Feel free to write to me.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
For those of you who feel you miss drinking, or love drinking: do you really?
Do you love being drunk on mother’s day?
Do you love being hooked on something that dulls your senses?
Do you love the guilt? The regret? The embarrassment?
Love being free of all that. Love being finally present for family. Love the clarity of mind for all of life’s tasks and responsibilities. Love your self respect. Love making true decisions, instead of decisions made under the influence.
You don’t love drinking. Even that first one, it’s an introduction into a state of mind that has nothing to do with the real you.
Love yourself, love your family. Put down the alcohol and see it like it is, a snake in sheep’s clothing, a destroyer of lives, a thief of souls.
Every craving is a lie your alcohol addiction feeds you. Every poetic stroke of love for alcohol is your addiction. It’s not you. You’re in there! Find that part of you that wants your life back, and let her take charge completely. After awhile, you’ll realize what a lie it all is, and how life can be lived perfectly fine without it. You’ll wonder what all the obsession was about. You’ll be free.
Do you love being drunk on mother’s day?
Do you love being hooked on something that dulls your senses?
Do you love the guilt? The regret? The embarrassment?
Love being free of all that. Love being finally present for family. Love the clarity of mind for all of life’s tasks and responsibilities. Love your self respect. Love making true decisions, instead of decisions made under the influence.
You don’t love drinking. Even that first one, it’s an introduction into a state of mind that has nothing to do with the real you.
Love yourself, love your family. Put down the alcohol and see it like it is, a snake in sheep’s clothing, a destroyer of lives, a thief of souls.
Every craving is a lie your alcohol addiction feeds you. Every poetic stroke of love for alcohol is your addiction. It’s not you. You’re in there! Find that part of you that wants your life back, and let her take charge completely. After awhile, you’ll realize what a lie it all is, and how life can be lived perfectly fine without it. You’ll wonder what all the obsession was about. You’ll be free.
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