Reasons VS Excuses
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Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 405
I have always responded better to the drill sergeant tough love treatment as opposed to the gentle hand. On the one hand I try to respect the fact that others don't respond to tough love in the same manner. With that said I think people are being too harsh with their responses to Ladybug.
From MY personal experience, the reason I continued drinking is because I had a laundry list of excuses of why I couldn't stop. I was arrogant enough to think that somehow my situation was special or different from the millions of people who had successfully reined in their addictions. That is my gentile way of saying that when I went to the bathroom to make, I sensed the scent of a bouquet of roses.
Once I stopped making excuses for myself and started putting in the work, good things started coming my way.
From MY personal experience, the reason I continued drinking is because I had a laundry list of excuses of why I couldn't stop. I was arrogant enough to think that somehow my situation was special or different from the millions of people who had successfully reined in their addictions. That is my gentile way of saying that when I went to the bathroom to make, I sensed the scent of a bouquet of roses.
Once I stopped making excuses for myself and started putting in the work, good things started coming my way.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 449
Na, my bad Ladybug66.
I've took your post out of context to fit into my current frustration. I just thought you posting it on this thread you meant people making excuses for recovery. The idea that people who think those that have an addiction are making excuses just doesn't sit well with me. But like I say, you didn't intend it that way.
I've took your post out of context to fit into my current frustration. I just thought you posting it on this thread you meant people making excuses for recovery. The idea that people who think those that have an addiction are making excuses just doesn't sit well with me. But like I say, you didn't intend it that way.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,231
excuses are like your ******* full of **** and everyones got one lol.
This was a good read. I'm always asking myself am i making an excuse or is this a real reason. Sometimes i will admit to myself yep i'm just making an excuse i truely am just too tired and lazy to do said task or i just dnot want too. Other times i realize its no excuse at all and that i do have real viable reason.
It bothers me that I even doubt it or question it however. I feel by analyzing it all the time i'm over thinking things. Because many times it simply doesnt matter if its an excuse or a reason it just is what it is.
Focusing on all my excuses in the past or something too is not really helpful. I mean sure its good to look back and go damn i was really bullshitting myself. But its not good to get caught up in it and feel all the shame and guilt all over again thats not productive.
This was a good read. I'm always asking myself am i making an excuse or is this a real reason. Sometimes i will admit to myself yep i'm just making an excuse i truely am just too tired and lazy to do said task or i just dnot want too. Other times i realize its no excuse at all and that i do have real viable reason.
It bothers me that I even doubt it or question it however. I feel by analyzing it all the time i'm over thinking things. Because many times it simply doesnt matter if its an excuse or a reason it just is what it is.
Focusing on all my excuses in the past or something too is not really helpful. I mean sure its good to look back and go damn i was really bullshitting myself. But its not good to get caught up in it and feel all the shame and guilt all over again thats not productive.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 568
I am trying to make tiny positive changes to my life and things that bother me and I have tried to change in the past but failed is when I'm using the "excuse or reason" thinking. Like getting out of bed earlier. I decided that I was making excuses for not getting up earlier.... it was my choice and my choice was making me miserable. I don't know if this makes sense and lately I have been really overthinking stuff. LOL
No Dogma Please
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,562
I look at it as creating a habit.
I am NOT a morning person. My natural rhythm if I'm not working and have no reason to get up is to get up around 10-10:30am and go to sleep around 2-2:30am. My mother and brother are the same way. Some people naturally arise early, it's how their rhythms work. (I despise those that tout it as moral superiority vs. a quirk of biology, but that's a whole 'nother thread!)
There have been times where I have formed the habit of early rising. I find that it happens spontaneously one day, and if I seize on that and start rising early every day, I can make it a habit for a time. But underlying it is my natural rhythm, which also changes with the seasons and my seasonal affective disorder.
This is but one example. It goes against my nature to be up at 5am. However, there are benefits in doing so.
I have spent years in bipolar disorder, which involves living through cycles of sometimes black and bleak depression. This is neither an excuse nor a reason, but it is a fact of my life. Medication helps, thank God, but it's there.
Depressives and others with mood disorders are largely viewed as malingerers who just need to "snap out of it." As if we are choosing our mental state. Depression is ugly and scary and incomprehensible to anyone who hasn't experienced it.
Ultimately I have always found my way out of it, but it is a huge struggle with a ton of support and coordinated effort. For myself getting sober was much easier than the fights I've had to get out of depression.
Sometimes it's not a reason nor an excuse.
I have made not drinking a habit, one that it surprisingly easy to maintain.
I am NOT a morning person. My natural rhythm if I'm not working and have no reason to get up is to get up around 10-10:30am and go to sleep around 2-2:30am. My mother and brother are the same way. Some people naturally arise early, it's how their rhythms work. (I despise those that tout it as moral superiority vs. a quirk of biology, but that's a whole 'nother thread!)
There have been times where I have formed the habit of early rising. I find that it happens spontaneously one day, and if I seize on that and start rising early every day, I can make it a habit for a time. But underlying it is my natural rhythm, which also changes with the seasons and my seasonal affective disorder.
This is but one example. It goes against my nature to be up at 5am. However, there are benefits in doing so.
I have spent years in bipolar disorder, which involves living through cycles of sometimes black and bleak depression. This is neither an excuse nor a reason, but it is a fact of my life. Medication helps, thank God, but it's there.
Depressives and others with mood disorders are largely viewed as malingerers who just need to "snap out of it." As if we are choosing our mental state. Depression is ugly and scary and incomprehensible to anyone who hasn't experienced it.
Ultimately I have always found my way out of it, but it is a huge struggle with a ton of support and coordinated effort. For myself getting sober was much easier than the fights I've had to get out of depression.
Sometimes it's not a reason nor an excuse.
I have made not drinking a habit, one that it surprisingly easy to maintain.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 568
Originally Posted by MindfulMan 
I look at it as creating a habit.
I have made not drinking a habit, one that it surprisingly easy to maintain.
I have made not drinking a habit, one that it surprisingly easy to maintain.
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: West Tn
Posts: 3,043
One of my New Year's resolutions is to come to work 30 minutes later each day, in part, to give me the opportunity to get in some morning exercise.
In 2020, it will be to work a 4 day work week.
I'm 61 and have put in my turn at the oar, so to speak, and I'm going to spend more time taking care of my body, mind and soul.
In 2020, it will be to work a 4 day work week.
I'm 61 and have put in my turn at the oar, so to speak, and I'm going to spend more time taking care of my body, mind and soul.
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