whitejay

I would like some input from all my SR friends on how do you personally not pick up a drink when the craving is so powerful......

I literally dont know what to do anymore. I feel so defeated and shameful.

Please load it on me, tell me everything. I cant go on like this.

I want more than anything in my entire life
to never pick up again.

Bobbieka

I had to do everything. I started seeing an addiction counselor, I went to AA and I joined this community. I saw a psychiatrist who prescribed Naltrexone and Campral. It was worth it.

whitejay

so, after or during you doing all these great things to help you, how did you actually stop the craving dead in its tracks?

do you have a certain method you use or did your obsession on your thoughts just stop one day ?

ScottFromWI

I made a personal decision that picking up a drink is simply not an option for me anymore. No craving, no person, no situation can ever change that decision. It's my choice and it can be yours too.

As far as what you do when you actually get that "craving" - you have to realize that it's simply a thought in your head. At first, it's helpful to have immediate access to some support - AKA a sponsor or phone number to call, a website to log on to and discuss it ( SR ), a counselor or close friend to lean on, etc.

There are several choices you have to make in order to consume alcohol. You have choose to obtain it ( buy it, go someplace where it will be offered to you ), You then have to choose to open it, pour it and lift it to your lips and swallow it. At every single point along the way you also have the choice to not purchase it not open it, not put it to your lips and not swallow it.

I'm glad you are here talking it through...that's a great step in itself.

Stayingsassy

I looked very bluntly at my cravings themselves and saw them as "not me" but a force within me that wanted me destroyed. so I turned against my cravings as if they were actively trying to kill me and I violently opposed that voice in my head.

To cravings I answer: "no, that's not what I want. No, I don't drink. No, that's not possible any more because drinking is no longer an option."

Drinking WAS killing me, so fighting back at the voice that wants to kill me is valid.

Take drinking out of your life as an option forever. Accept any and all consequences, cravings, sadness, difficulty and life changes that happen in sobriety. Make sobriety a mission. Make it more important than any relationship, any job, any situation. Fight like hell.

Then you will succeed. When it becomes your life, you will succeed.

I still at nearly 14 months see sobriety as my guiding light, my main focus. It's the one thing I keep at the forefront of any and all decisions I make. Nothing is possible without it.

It has to be that important. If you are going back to drinking, you haven't made sobriety a priority. Move it to the top of the list. Then you will stay sober.

Gettingcloser

I understand those horrible cravings. For me it was a small thought in my mind that grew until it shoved every thought out of my mind but drinking. I would eventually cave and once gain the cycle would begin and end always the same way.
I was never able to fight the cravings until one miraculous day I was suddenly aware that I cared more about my well being and survival then I did the alcohol. At this point I finally had the ammunition I needed to fight back.

The AV is ridiculous and insane. It is your addicted brain struggling to balance itself.
For me, being on this site was a huge help. I fell many times and felt deeply hopeless but here I am today sober since May 29 th 2018 and feeling very much on top of things.

plop

I relapsed as long as I was fighting my addiction. For me it meant that every time I was confronted with alcohol I needed to make a decision: to drink or not to drink. And I couldn't resist all day every day.

Then everything clicked. I stopped fighting. My cravings disappeared after I realized I'm going to relapse unless my desire to drink disappears, and it certainly wasn't going to disappear if I kept fighting it. I don't know if this is some kind of a zen approach, but it worked for me.

LunaBlue

nez

Early in recovery when alcohol would be screaming my name, I would tell myself I could wait 15 minutes to take that drink. "Anyone can wait 15 minutes" Then I would go out for a walk to possibly give my mind something else to latch onto. Many times it would take a second 15 minutes of postponing the drink and another walk. Even a third at times, but eventually it would pass.

It took a lot of "15 minutes"in the early days, but I now have 15 years. I don't say this because I am looking for attaboys, but rather to give hope to others that are struggling, that sobriety is indeed achievable, even for us 15 minute guys. The obsession and craving are long gone.

"Leave your front door and your back door open. Allow your thoughts to come and go. Just don't serve them tea. Shunryu Suzuki"

Briansy

The brain recalibrating point is a very good one. That's one of my main motivations to keep going as I know it's those first weeks and months that is the most critical for that reason.

May 29th is my Bday!

Dee74

There are some good ideas here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html

I had success with urge surfing which is part of that link - it doesn't exactly stop a craving dead but if you can remove yourself from it and the urgency of it, it's a lot easier to let it pass.

Often a good emal can help, pr a nap. Or posting here and helpiong others with their problems.

If all else falls ice cream and or chocolate can work.

D

SnazzyDresser

I try to approach these urges that pop up now and then as not being a part of me, keeping a distance from them. There are some mental tricks for this but mainly it takes practice. That bonus feeling that the urge is bringing with it, that it's a very special urge than can't be resisted, isn't any more reliable than the urge itself which is completely bogus to begin with.

Once you can get a distance from these urges, realizing that they aren't really a part of you, then you start seeing that you're the one who's really driving the car, not these stray thoughts.

whitejay

Hi SR friends

I read each and every post of yours thoroughly and wholeheartedly because I am so grateful when you answer me and take time out of your day to send me thought out , personal responses.

I got alot out of each and every answer. I am going to apply many of them during those 15min of physical and mental freak out.

I had to do laundry, clean, shop and I just couldnt seem to start work on those mundane tasks without a buzz. I am easily bored, that is my problem. So iI grabbed a glass of wine and I was off to the races and the bars. Started at noon, got home at 2am.

Thank from the bottom of my heart. You are helping me to save my life and dignity.




p.s. got no work done

Briansy

I really like this. I was at a meeting tonight and I fell into a funk before hand having felt well all day. I had fairly intense urges all the way through - and this is a meeting where I have a service commitment when I would usually feel fairly insulated. Anyway, at the end of the meeting a lady shared almost exactly the same thing as you and it helped hugely. I also made sure that I ate a large meal immediately after the meeting. Eating a full meal kills cravings pretty much every time for me. I will be giving thanks for another day negotiated tonight...

snitch

I prayed . I said out loud, please God do not let me pick up a drink, over and over. I screamed. I shouted. I paced up and down. I banged my fists on the kitchen worktop. I screamed into a pillow. I stuffed my face with sweets. And if it didn't lift I would walk out the door to a meeting. No word of a lie, I really did those things. And it worked am now 6 months sober. It gets better I promise. Just get through those first weeks. I still get cravings but they are so much easier to handle!

snitch

Oh and I was the same with the household chores. I ALWAYS drank when doing them. In the early days I did the bare minimum as I literally couldn't face anything. In fact it has taken me till 6 months sober to get any real motivation back. Now there is no stopping me lol. The best thing is that today something happened and I didn't even have any desire to drink! It was weird because my mind took me to a thought of a drink (because that is what it was so used to?) But I genuinley didn't want to! I didn't have to fight the craving because it wasn't a craving. It was just a thought. Now that's a miracle lol x x

NYCDoglvr

First, I remember to avoid "people, places and things" that can trigger a craving. I go to a meeting and I call my sponsor. Has worked for 27 years.

least

When I had cravings to drink, I would walk my dogs. If I couldn't walk them for some reason, I came on here and posted and read. That's the great thing about SR. There's always someone here.

JeffreyAK

Distraction was my best tool for cravings when I used to get them - and they are a phase, they'll eventually stop coming around if you stay sober long enough. Distraction could be anything - leave the room, change the channel, take a different route driving, change the music, just about anything to stop the escalation process and get out of that moment. The real trick for me was to minimize potential triggers for cravings, and early on that meant not going to certain places, not seeing or talking to certain people, changing my daily routine, picking up new hobbies to pass time I used to spend drinking, etc.

freshstart57

Acceptance was the answer for me. When a craving came, instead of fighting it, trying to make it go away, I sat with it, I stared at it, and I accepted it. I came to understand that the craving was a sign that I was beating this. I came to understand that a craving was no more than a thought. I separated my 'self' from my desire to drink by saying that I didn't want to drink, it was my AV that wanted the drink. I never ever did what my AV asked me to do ever since that moment I decided to never ever drink again.

You can do this too, Whitejay. I KNOW you can. You already have everything you need inside of you to do this. You deserve to live without this agony for another single moment. You deserve to live without the shame, the pain, the anxiety, the disappointment that comes with this addiction. You deserve to live with hope, with peace, and with your own measure of happiness and joy.

Are you ready for this? Are you ready to make that lifelong commitment to your life by choosing to never ever drink again? It's all waiting for you, right there in front of you. Open your hands, grab hold of this and never ever let go, no matter what happens. Onward!