I understand those horrible cravings. For me it was a small thought in my mind that grew until it shoved every thought out of my mind but drinking. I would eventually cave and once gain the cycle would begin and end always the same way.
I was never able to fight the cravings until one miraculous day I was suddenly aware that I cared more about my well being and survival then I did the alcohol. At this point I finally had the ammunition I needed to fight back.
The AV is ridiculous and insane. It is your addicted brain struggling to balance itself.
For me, being on this site was a huge help. I fell many times and felt deeply hopeless but here I am today sober since May 29 th 2018 and feeling very much on top of things.