Drinking to self sabotage
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 37
Drinking to self sabotage
I am curious about something and just want to see if it resonates with anyone else..
I watched the film flight earlier, there's some pretty powerful scenes where the main character is drinking to destruction and for some reason it triggered me to want to drink.
I've also experienced this recently when out with friends, the trigger was at the point when they were absolutely wasted and displaying the worst behaviours.
This got me thinking if there's a psychological reason for these triggers and potentially an underlying reason for my drinking, whether it being low self worth or feeling deserving of the mayhem and destruction etc
Any thoughts?
I watched the film flight earlier, there's some pretty powerful scenes where the main character is drinking to destruction and for some reason it triggered me to want to drink.
I've also experienced this recently when out with friends, the trigger was at the point when they were absolutely wasted and displaying the worst behaviours.
This got me thinking if there's a psychological reason for these triggers and potentially an underlying reason for my drinking, whether it being low self worth or feeling deserving of the mayhem and destruction etc
Any thoughts?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 62
Yeah, I get triggered by images too. Whenever I watch a movie and see someone drinking scotch it just makes me think of that nice warm feeling of the stuff warming up my stomach and unwinding.
As for your urge to drink destructively, I think that maybe it is because you feel that your present situation in life is unappealing or dissatisfying and want to just vanish it. I've been there too. It is good that you are calmly reflecting now.
As for your urge to drink destructively, I think that maybe it is because you feel that your present situation in life is unappealing or dissatisfying and want to just vanish it. I've been there too. It is good that you are calmly reflecting now.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
I'm pretty sure every single one of us had some underlying issues going on behind our drinking. And most of us used alcohol as a failed "coping" mechanism for said issues.
Bottom line for me though was that "why" I drank doesn't matter anymore. I had to learn to face those issues in a healthy way, which is probably one of the hardest things about quitting.
Bottom line for me though was that "why" I drank doesn't matter anymore. I had to learn to face those issues in a healthy way, which is probably one of the hardest things about quitting.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
yeah, it was important to me, too, and i tought i needed to know the WHY in order to quit.
that was a convenient thought to have, as it allowed me to keep on drinking.
knowing why can be important, but is certainly not necessary in order to quit.
and knowing anything much about the why and wherefore of my drinking....well, clarity is not that high when not sober
that was a convenient thought to have, as it allowed me to keep on drinking.
knowing why can be important, but is certainly not necessary in order to quit.
and knowing anything much about the why and wherefore of my drinking....well, clarity is not that high when not sober
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
drillbit, the appeal to me of destructive drinking, or oblivion drinking, or you name it....part of that was about "permission" for me. permission to lose control of behaviour, and the "freedom"( omg how ridiculous and sick) to not have to be responsible.
evasion all the way!
evasion all the way!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 62
Originally Posted by fini 
yeah, it was important to me, too, and i tought i needed to know the WHY in order to quit.
that was a convenient thought to have, as it allowed me to keep on drinking.
knowing why can be important, but is certainly not necessary in order to quit.
and knowing anything much about the why and wherefore of my drinking....well, clarity is not that high when not sober
that was a convenient thought to have, as it allowed me to keep on drinking.
knowing why can be important, but is certainly not necessary in order to quit.
and knowing anything much about the why and wherefore of my drinking....well, clarity is not that high when not sober
So let's say we reflect on these real issues that are causing us distress and decide to get out of that toxic relationship or find a better workplace. This might not only remove the need for numbing agents such as alcohol but make it so we can take it or leave it.
Knowing why is important and can help us move on. It is hard to move on when you don't know why you should move on or what to move toward.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
oh yes, it is hard to move on when you don't know why you should...i agree.
but see, i knew i needed to quit. I knew i wanted to quit...i could know that without knowing why i drank.
i don't know you, zero, but i do know that the concept of a reason for drinking, such as a bad relationship, or toxic work environment, or crappy childhood, or lousy living situation or the washing machine breaking down....these were never the reasons.
people have these things going on all the time and they are not causing them to drink or not drink.
they ARE real issues and distressing, but they are no cause of drinking.
but see, i knew i needed to quit. I knew i wanted to quit...i could know that without knowing why i drank.
i don't know you, zero, but i do know that the concept of a reason for drinking, such as a bad relationship, or toxic work environment, or crappy childhood, or lousy living situation or the washing machine breaking down....these were never the reasons.
people have these things going on all the time and they are not causing them to drink or not drink.
they ARE real issues and distressing, but they are no cause of drinking.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 62
fini,
If drinking is causing problems in one's present life then sure they need to stop. But I do not believe that just quitting drinking itself will solve the real issue if your reason for drinking is other than enjoying the intoxication.
If drinking is causing problems in one's present life then sure they need to stop. But I do not believe that just quitting drinking itself will solve the real issue if your reason for drinking is other than enjoying the intoxication.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
i agree, zero.and quitting drinking didn't solve my real problems, as i came to understand quite a while after i had quit.
quitting drinking, however, gave me a chance to figure out what the real issues were.
quitting drinking, however, gave me a chance to figure out what the real issues were.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 62
That is what I am talking about fini. When life was good I used to be able to drink a lot and it wasn't a problem. I didn't focus on alcohol. I would come home after work and have a drink whenever I remembered to. Sometimes I would be at my computer till like 1 am and forgot that I didn't have a drink and would have a nightcap and just before going to bed. It's not that I needed to drink every day, it was just a sort of routine, a culture that I had with my ex-spouse. After we got divorced and I got all kinds of failure in life, I started focusing on drinking, like thinking about what time I can have my first drink etc.
I was drinking to forget that I have to think and then I slept to forget that I have to drink.
Now that I have started to make peace with life, things have gotten better but still not where I want them to be.
I was drinking to forget that I have to think and then I slept to forget that I have to drink.
Now that I have started to make peace with life, things have gotten better but still not where I want them to be.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
What Scott and Dropsie said, exactly.
Why doesn't matter when drinking.
Sober, I might not like something and certainly have problems, but they are just what they weren't when drinking- now they are manageable.
Why doesn't matter when drinking.
Sober, I might not like something and certainly have problems, but they are just what they weren't when drinking- now they are manageable.
Life is good
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 4,036
Three things:
1. I'm not alcoholic. Take what you like & leave the rest.
2. My recovery doesn't depend on the why. It is setting a healthy course of recovery actions and following them every day. One day at a time.
3. Through the recovery process, more has been revealed. False core beliefs are found and changed along the way. Self-care naturally has replaced self sabotage.
1. I'm not alcoholic. Take what you like & leave the rest.
2. My recovery doesn't depend on the why. It is setting a healthy course of recovery actions and following them every day. One day at a time.
3. Through the recovery process, more has been revealed. False core beliefs are found and changed along the way. Self-care naturally has replaced self sabotage.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,906
Originally Posted by Drillbit
I am curious about something and just want to see if it resonates with anyone else..
I watched the film flight earlier, there's some pretty powerful scenes where the main character is drinking to destruction and for some reason it triggered me to want to drink.
I've also experienced this recently when out with friends, the trigger was at the point when they were absolutely wasted and displaying the worst behaviours.
This got me thinking if there's a psychological reason for these triggers and potentially an underlying reason for my drinking, whether it being low self worth or feeling deserving of the mayhem and destruction etc
Any thoughts?
I watched the film flight earlier, there's some pretty powerful scenes where the main character is drinking to destruction and for some reason it triggered me to want to drink.
I've also experienced this recently when out with friends, the trigger was at the point when they were absolutely wasted and displaying the worst behaviours.
This got me thinking if there's a psychological reason for these triggers and potentially an underlying reason for my drinking, whether it being low self worth or feeling deserving of the mayhem and destruction etc
Any thoughts?
There's a ton of reasons why I drank, but in the end I think it was simply because I was addicted to chaos.
I had known little to no peace in my life time.
Like it's been said, the reasons really don't matter anymore. It's what you do now that will determine everything to come.
You're still pretty new. My head was always screaming for a break from reality. For probably the first 12-18 months, it was really hard to quiet down the noise.
Distractions are essential. There's no need to figure this out all at once. Just try to keep things simple.
If you feel bad, do something that will make you feel better that's not harmful.
We have to learn to live outside our heads. That takes a long time.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Europe
Posts: 116
Here in Europe "self destruction" has a romantic touch to it for a lot of people, as an answer to lifes unfairness, suffering and lack of per se given sense, grounded in some philosophical schools. Often displayed in bohemic environments or in the US for example by Hank Moody in Californification. I was open for that, too.
What really helped me, was the lectures of Jordan Peterson (on youtube), who perceives suffering as an invitable part of life and asks you to create a life thats worth suffering for and contributes, so that gaining strength in the face of mailaise and even mortality. And that means you will be stronger without booze, but you have to work on your reasons to NOT self destruct you.
There is also a youtube talk of Sam Harris "why are you wasting your life away" that is quite to the point, while not directly about drinking. Harris asks you to act aware, active. And that is the opposite of numbing and destructing yourself.
I have the Peterson and Harris Talk on my Cell, listen to it regulary, just to enforce my drive to get emotionally strong and strive to give my life meaning even if this means small steps.
What really helped me, was the lectures of Jordan Peterson (on youtube), who perceives suffering as an invitable part of life and asks you to create a life thats worth suffering for and contributes, so that gaining strength in the face of mailaise and even mortality. And that means you will be stronger without booze, but you have to work on your reasons to NOT self destruct you.
There is also a youtube talk of Sam Harris "why are you wasting your life away" that is quite to the point, while not directly about drinking. Harris asks you to act aware, active. And that is the opposite of numbing and destructing yourself.
I have the Peterson and Harris Talk on my Cell, listen to it regulary, just to enforce my drive to get emotionally strong and strive to give my life meaning even if this means small steps.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
