Quit290117

Just over 4 weeks sober, had a little get together with some old friends but I didn’t drink and feel so relieved.

The build up to it was bad, I felt like a coiled spring ready to go. This has got me thinking about why I started binging in the first place.

Looking back I have always felt like this even before I started drinking as a teenager. I think I used the alcohol to numb out the almost hyper like states I get in to.

I have never been diagnosed or don’t feel depressed however I do sometimes get a rush where I feel on top of the world and where by I could achieve anything.
I would then drink to calm myself down and for the next few days to a week I would have no motivation, then the cycle would repeat.

I suppose what I’m asking is has anyone else had a similar experience? I’m thinking the best thing to do is use the high to my advantage by exercising or taking up something new and putting all the energy into that rather than suppressing it with alcohol.

It might seem strange me moaning about feeling positive and on top of the world but it was to much and I think this is what got me into this cycle of binge drinking.

ScottFromWI

I think just about all of us had some underlying issue/condition/problem that we tried to solve with alcohol. For me it was likely anxiety - social, and health. Unfortunately alcohol eventually made it worse, not better.

While it's not technically part of being "sober" I think it's important for us to face these problems and seek a solution. For me it involved some counseling, diet changes ( cutting way back on caffeine, sugar ), adding some exercise, getting enough sleep among other things.

So your plan to exercise or "take up new things" could certainly be part of a solution to your problems, and I think that it's important that you do work on a solution. You mention depression and highs/lows - that could certainly be a something you might want to speak with a counselor about too. Depression and Bi-polar along with Anxiety are all very common and very treatable.

MindfulMan

Sounds very familiar, and I have bipolar disorder.

Not drinking helped immensely.

Lpg

Hey quit glad you made it through your party/get together.

Yes I can relate to this, I have previously mentioned my hyperactivity a natural part of me and sometimes it makes me on edge and alcohol was a the answer (or so I thought) to not feel it so much, of course I was still hyper but in my mind I felt calmer if that makes sense. I can feel very happy and energetic and it can come across abit manic.

Although if I'm being really honest I would drink over any strong feelings I felt, happy, hyper, sad, depressed, anxious I had excuses to drink for them all.

Now I'm learning how to sit with these feeling and recognise them before they snowball. I like to sit down, practise some breathing techniques I learned from therapy. Feel a connection with something other than myself, going out into nature. It helps to slow everything down.

Congrats on 4 weeks sober.

Forward12

While drunk, I thought I could conquer the world. In the aftermath, that was a completely different story.

Quit290117

Thanks for the replies everyone.

August252015

Like Scott and Mindful, identifying my underlying mental health issues was a critical component to my recovery once I got the alcohol out of the way. For me, that meant handling what is lifelong anxiety- once sober we could look at the cracks throughout my life, as I call them.

I also had particularly strong indicators of bipolar/ BPD ( depending on the diagnosing dr, but they have similarities). History of those in my family and with my mom her bipolar was incredibly more difficult when drinking, as Mindful said. Sober and in recovery me has very minor demonstration of those mental illnesses.

My dr and multi pronged support and action in recovery lead to the most balance possible for me.

SnazzyDresser

I can identify with this type of thing to some extent. Especially the part where the alcohol ended up slowing things down and ultimately making my life worse. If you can see that alcohol isn't working for you, give sobriety a chance. Change things up. Meditation has helped me a lot in dealing with my high-energy moods.

Congrats on your 4 weeks!

waynetheking

So list your reasons for not drinking. Attack those. And don't drink again.
Keep going, it's going to be fine. You just can't drink anymore to create change. It's that simple. What you think you know now will vanish with long term sobriety. So work through it. Don't waste your time with reasons, just quit for good. That's the only way your going to live through this.

SoberCAH

I had GAD, depression, low self-esteem and extremely limited spiritual grounding.

Alcohol seemed to pretty much help those circumstances.

Until it quit working and until the desperation my chronic drunkenness wrought on me only magnified my other problems.

Stayingsassy

My reason for drinking: alcoholism.

If it works that well, then your brain is different with the booze than normal folks.

some people have reasons, but don't choose drinking.

D122y

I drank because I was physically addicted. Mentally, I was deeply damaged from years of binge drinking.

I am still healing, but things are way better. My world at times was a living hell. Obsessions, routine anger with my family and coworkers. I emanated bad vibes.

I still do that sometimes, mainly when driving. I routinely still get road raged. I don't do anything too crazy, but I sometimes honk at people that seem to driving in a passive aggressive state. For example...driving 5 mph below the speed limit or lane blocking.

That is my biggest problem now.

I am probably mentally messed up as well, but I seem ok to me.

Bottom line for me...if I think I am ok, I probably am ok.

Hope this helps.

Thanks.