It also gets better.......let's discuss it.
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,906
It also gets better.......let's discuss it.
Lately, I've been seeing a lot of people struggling. Like sobriety 101 stuff. Questioning what's the point? When does it get better? Why are things not happening right away? Why am I still restless? Why am I so frustrated? Am I depressed? Is this normal?? the list goes on.
I want to discuss some success. Let's talk about something you've accomplished in sobriety.....
It can be small or huge.....a victory is a victory any way it feels like you won the day, the week, the month or the biggest thing that's ever happened to you as a result of you staying sober.
Here's mine for today.....It's bedtime in the Dog household...My wife is getting ready for work tomorrow, I'm walking the dog, making lunches, etc, my kid is getting ready for bed.
I no sooner take the leash off of my dog when my kid lets out this unholy cackle and runs out of her room.
I think..."s#it....this can't be good." She's got a dark sense of humor like me.
I find my wife on my kid's floor going through stacks of clothes cussing with great fury. She's screaming "WHERE THE F$#k WERE YOU?! " SHE'S GOT A CONCERT TOMORROW THAT'S MANDATORY AND I CAN'T FIND HER CONCERT CLOTHES!!!" I explain this is not my department, she's in charge of the kid's wardrobe and I was just walking the dog.....wrong answer.
She glazes over...I f'ing thought her head was gonna start spinning around and she was gonna go exorcist on me. I start laughing....again....wrong thing to do.
However, at this point, I'm aware of the fact that I've already done 2 things wrong and I need to fall on the sword. I tell her I must have moved them and I look through a few more stacks of clothes and I find them. I wash the clothes and press it all nice and ready to go.
I tell her I love her and she mutters something about poisoning me at breakfast and I know it was a job well done because she's making jokes.
2 years ago, this would have been a 3 hour screaming match.
Tools of sobriety 1 Disease or illness-0
your turn.
I want to discuss some success. Let's talk about something you've accomplished in sobriety.....
It can be small or huge.....a victory is a victory any way it feels like you won the day, the week, the month or the biggest thing that's ever happened to you as a result of you staying sober.
Here's mine for today.....It's bedtime in the Dog household...My wife is getting ready for work tomorrow, I'm walking the dog, making lunches, etc, my kid is getting ready for bed.
I no sooner take the leash off of my dog when my kid lets out this unholy cackle and runs out of her room.
I think..."s#it....this can't be good." She's got a dark sense of humor like me.
I find my wife on my kid's floor going through stacks of clothes cussing with great fury. She's screaming "WHERE THE F$#k WERE YOU?! " SHE'S GOT A CONCERT TOMORROW THAT'S MANDATORY AND I CAN'T FIND HER CONCERT CLOTHES!!!" I explain this is not my department, she's in charge of the kid's wardrobe and I was just walking the dog.....wrong answer.
She glazes over...I f'ing thought her head was gonna start spinning around and she was gonna go exorcist on me. I start laughing....again....wrong thing to do.
However, at this point, I'm aware of the fact that I've already done 2 things wrong and I need to fall on the sword. I tell her I must have moved them and I look through a few more stacks of clothes and I find them. I wash the clothes and press it all nice and ready to go.
I tell her I love her and she mutters something about poisoning me at breakfast and I know it was a job well done because she's making jokes.
2 years ago, this would have been a 3 hour screaming match.
Tools of sobriety 1 Disease or illness-0
your turn.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: GA
Posts: 700
I love it!
I stay awake though most days without the desire to escape from my day with oblivion as soon as I'm home from work. Subsequently my bf and I get along so much better when he gets home from work and I'm not awaking grumpy and a mess from a pointless alcohol induced nap. We are saving money. I have a job I always dreamt of, that I got through my sponsor. We are both happier since the alcohol has left the house. Two alcoholics finally getting a little peace. It's only been a few months and already this life is too good to ever trade for the old one. Thank you for the thread.
I stay awake though most days without the desire to escape from my day with oblivion as soon as I'm home from work. Subsequently my bf and I get along so much better when he gets home from work and I'm not awaking grumpy and a mess from a pointless alcohol induced nap. We are saving money. I have a job I always dreamt of, that I got through my sponsor. We are both happier since the alcohol has left the house. Two alcoholics finally getting a little peace. It's only been a few months and already this life is too good to ever trade for the old one. Thank you for the thread.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,906
Originally Posted by goodbyeevan 
I love it!
I stay awake though most days without the desire to escape from my day with oblivion as soon as I'm home from work. Subsequently my bf and I get along so much better when he gets home from work and I'm not awaking grumpy and a mess from a pointless alcohol induced nap. We are saving money. I have a job I always dreamt of, that I got through my sponsor. We are both happier since the alcohol has left the house. Two alcoholics finally getting a little peace. It's only been a few months and already this life is too good to ever trade for the old one. Thank you for the thread.
I stay awake though most days without the desire to escape from my day with oblivion as soon as I'm home from work. Subsequently my bf and I get along so much better when he gets home from work and I'm not awaking grumpy and a mess from a pointless alcohol induced nap. We are saving money. I have a job I always dreamt of, that I got through my sponsor. We are both happier since the alcohol has left the house. Two alcoholics finally getting a little peace. It's only been a few months and already this life is too good to ever trade for the old one. Thank you for the thread.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 557
Ten years ago, I was in such bad state, my students thought I was dying. Now I am doing well at work, am married, have a solid relationship with my parents and siblings, and have three children. I have a normal life, with it's ups and downs, joys and disappointments. I believe that I am mostly a positive influence on the people around me, despite my many character flaws. I am so grateful for sobriety. I do not believe I would be alive now if I hadn't gotten sober. It does get better!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Emotional maturity. I can see a situation as it is, vs through the glasses of my frail ego. I know that everything isn't about me. I know how to detach with love as opposed to being all enmeshed with other people. I own my own shlit and let people own theirs. I recognize my feelings aren't always fact and that they are just feelings, they pass.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
LOVE this thread!! I'd been noticing some of the same stuff as you mention, Bulldog- enjoy reading everyone's "anti-dotes" if you will (esp you Frick- flipping that ego thing, as my husband and I call it, is huge)....
I feel like I have so many, here at 27 mo, that I could write a REALLY long post.
So here's a big (small?) one: I LOVE going to hot yoga 4-6 x a week. Even a year ago, I was still resistant to this amazing practice (I am 27 mo sober now). It has changed so much more than my body (but that high oxygen saturation level and flexibility like never before are pretty cool).
HUGE thing....I married my high school boyfriend, who looked me up when I was going on 5 mo sober- and he was one month - and we have a darn amazing story and life, jointly in recovery and individually. I have a wonderful step daughter. Maybe the one big thing I could say here is that one of the HUGE things is that we know how to "fight" - respectfully, seeking sincere peace and resolution and with kindness. That's priceless and not something I could do if I wasn't sober.
Oh - and another HUGE one is that I now run a recovery group for people in the restaurant industry struggling with alcohol and drug abuse. That service work feeds my soul.
I feel like I have so many, here at 27 mo, that I could write a REALLY long post.
So here's a big (small?) one: I LOVE going to hot yoga 4-6 x a week. Even a year ago, I was still resistant to this amazing practice (I am 27 mo sober now). It has changed so much more than my body (but that high oxygen saturation level and flexibility like never before are pretty cool).
HUGE thing....I married my high school boyfriend, who looked me up when I was going on 5 mo sober- and he was one month - and we have a darn amazing story and life, jointly in recovery and individually. I have a wonderful step daughter. Maybe the one big thing I could say here is that one of the HUGE things is that we know how to "fight" - respectfully, seeking sincere peace and resolution and with kindness. That's priceless and not something I could do if I wasn't sober.
Oh - and another HUGE one is that I now run a recovery group for people in the restaurant industry struggling with alcohol and drug abuse. That service work feeds my soul.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
I don't have a lot, I am still a work in progress, but:
-I don't fly off the handle at people. If I can't handle something without popping off, impatience or defensiveness i am 98% more likely to keep quiet and just let it be. This for me is a step toward conflict resolution.
-my backyard is full of flowers. I commune with plants. If I said more about that you'd think I was strange, but my relationship with plants has become interesting, when they leaf out or bloom it makes me more joyful than when I am with animals or people. My new connection to the natural world feeds me.
-i am careful at work. Where I used to just cockily slapdash something in my hungover state figuring I was so smart and talented that I could sleep off my hangover in the afternoon rather than check my work, I now am methodical, cautious, focused and especially, humble. That is all sobriety.
-I haven't noticed a change with the kids, who I always bent over backward to make sure I tended. It's worse with the husband. Maybe that part is like Kilauea spewing mountains of destruction and worry and difficulty before forming new land. I just need to wait.
some of it feels like the loose and wobbly destruction phase still, not quite clear. I have time. The rest of my life, in fact.
-I don't fly off the handle at people. If I can't handle something without popping off, impatience or defensiveness i am 98% more likely to keep quiet and just let it be. This for me is a step toward conflict resolution.
-my backyard is full of flowers. I commune with plants. If I said more about that you'd think I was strange, but my relationship with plants has become interesting, when they leaf out or bloom it makes me more joyful than when I am with animals or people. My new connection to the natural world feeds me.
-i am careful at work. Where I used to just cockily slapdash something in my hungover state figuring I was so smart and talented that I could sleep off my hangover in the afternoon rather than check my work, I now am methodical, cautious, focused and especially, humble. That is all sobriety.
-I haven't noticed a change with the kids, who I always bent over backward to make sure I tended. It's worse with the husband. Maybe that part is like Kilauea spewing mountains of destruction and worry and difficulty before forming new land. I just need to wait.
some of it feels like the loose and wobbly destruction phase still, not quite clear. I have time. The rest of my life, in fact.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,678
2.6 years ago, I was, for a short time dead...I blacked out after yet another bout of very heavy drinking and a lit ciggie fell into an open fibreglass collar and cuff splint (smashed shoulder-falls-booze). I was revived 3 times on the slab and got 4th degree burns to 20% of the bod. That day I lost my family, home (not burnt- just not welcome there), any semblance of career etc
SUCCESS- 2 and a bit years sober
Got driver's license back (lost it- booze seizures, not driving 5 years ago)
Bought a car
No longer homeless- in a good place with a modest income
I discovered art- to express myself- to learn, reflect and grow
My health is probably better than it has been for years
I am becoming the person I always could have been
I can look at myself in the mirror without feeling guilt or shame over who I am now
I help and support others
I read a lot about recovery stuff and grow
I love life- although it is not all happy,happy joy-joy.
I laugh, watch sunsets and the stars and live very much in the moment and am not nearly as phased or frustrated- like say in a line up of people in a supermarket waiting for the person upfront trying to find exact change.
I have changed into something like a good person and do not judge most people most of the time- but have more patience and maturity to get to know them
I do volunteer stuff and regularly donate blood (my goal is to give back what it needed to save my life..about 20 litres...this will take a while)
SUCCESS- 2 and a bit years sober
Got driver's license back (lost it- booze seizures, not driving 5 years ago)
Bought a car
No longer homeless- in a good place with a modest income
I discovered art- to express myself- to learn, reflect and grow
My health is probably better than it has been for years
I am becoming the person I always could have been
I can look at myself in the mirror without feeling guilt or shame over who I am now
I help and support others
I read a lot about recovery stuff and grow
I love life- although it is not all happy,happy joy-joy.
I laugh, watch sunsets and the stars and live very much in the moment and am not nearly as phased or frustrated- like say in a line up of people in a supermarket waiting for the person upfront trying to find exact change.
I have changed into something like a good person and do not judge most people most of the time- but have more patience and maturity to get to know them
I do volunteer stuff and regularly donate blood (my goal is to give back what it needed to save my life..about 20 litres...this will take a while)
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 60
Im 6 months in right now. my head is cleared up, the thinking through a problem clearly, is amazing. like before I started drinking. my wife says I'm way nicer to her I hadn't really noticed that change but I dont do the sarcastic jabs that I thought were funny to do. my ambition and drive is still rollercoastering. but that is were Im starting to work to improve. my business is at 6 months were I were I have been at 11 months for the last 3 years. ran into a bartender that when I was hitting the bars 6 years ago (I quit the bar scene when I started dating my wife) was quite good looking, almost didn't recognize her booze sure ages us fast. this site sure helps keep me on track I can come here and see what the people that are a couple of months ahead of me in sobriety are dealing with mentally so I can start preparing myself for the valleys when I'm on one of the euphoric highs.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,906
I love reading these. Every single one of them helps me a lot to see where people came from and what it's like for you all now.
I hope people keep them coming....
I'm exhausted and my kid's birthday is tomorrow. I want to take her to breakfast and I have a bunch of stuff to do before she gets home to surprise her with so I gotta hit the hay.
Night folks.
I hope people keep them coming....
I'm exhausted and my kid's birthday is tomorrow. I want to take her to breakfast and I have a bunch of stuff to do before she gets home to surprise her with so I gotta hit the hay.
Night folks.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 65
BullDog777 writes>>>I want to discuss some success. Let's talk about something you've accomplished in sobriety.....<<<
I do life’s footwork and stay of the results (expectations) by accepting the outcome of my footwork. This helps me realize, that my serenity is directly proportional to my level of acceptance. I cannot do this perfectly, it’s an ideal, but I’ve gotten better at it.
With identifying this as an ideal, which is perfection, this has helped me become more aware that I cannot make happiness or joy happen, it happens when I don’t expect it. It could be when I smell the odor of a wood burning stoves smoke or my cat spying on me camouflaged in her favorite tree, or some of the antics my grandchildren get into. Happiness or sometimes joy almost always has to do with nature, because I am nature. When I was deep into my drinking alcoholically for the most part I was blocked from this awareness.
I do life’s footwork and stay of the results (expectations) by accepting the outcome of my footwork. This helps me realize, that my serenity is directly proportional to my level of acceptance. I cannot do this perfectly, it’s an ideal, but I’ve gotten better at it.
With identifying this as an ideal, which is perfection, this has helped me become more aware that I cannot make happiness or joy happen, it happens when I don’t expect it. It could be when I smell the odor of a wood burning stoves smoke or my cat spying on me camouflaged in her favorite tree, or some of the antics my grandchildren get into. Happiness or sometimes joy almost always has to do with nature, because I am nature. When I was deep into my drinking alcoholically for the most part I was blocked from this awareness.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Originally Posted by BullDog777
I love reading these. Every single one of them helps me a lot to see where people came from and what it's like for you all now.
I hope people keep them coming....
I'm exhausted and my kid's birthday is tomorrow. I want to take her to breakfast and I have a bunch of stuff to do before she gets home to surprise her with so I gotta hit the hay.
Night folks.
I hope people keep them coming....
I'm exhausted and my kid's birthday is tomorrow. I want to take her to breakfast and I have a bunch of stuff to do before she gets home to surprise her with so I gotta hit the hay.
Night folks.
So grateful for it all!
non-drinker
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 13,846
I love waking up every morning with a clear mind and clear conscience. I couldn't say that for too many years.
I love my daily walks. Something I never had time for in my drinking daze.
I just plain love being present in the moment. Even the bad times are so much easier without the alcohol. I love being able to fully feel the range of emotions and the ebb and flow of life.
I love my daily walks. Something I never had time for in my drinking daze.
I just plain love being present in the moment. Even the bad times are so much easier without the alcohol. I love being able to fully feel the range of emotions and the ebb and flow of life.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
I have a quiet mind. It took ten years of hard work to silence the negative voices but, aside from something bad happening, have achieved it. I love to help others and have learned to let go when they don't stay sober.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,906
So many awesome reflections......
I think this part of recovery is vital for others to hear about. I'm off to dinner with the fam...I'll post more when I get home tonight.
Keep them coming!!
I think this part of recovery is vital for others to hear about. I'm off to dinner with the fam...I'll post more when I get home tonight.
Keep them coming!!
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: fort worth tx
Posts: 1,373
Sobriety has helped me in so many ways. The biggest one was finding the love of my life. She would have never happened while I was drinking. I was in a terrible 5 year long, drama filled, money wasting, totally wrong person for me relationship. I was just to drunk to recognize or care to do anything about it.
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