Cosima11

I've already written a lot about my job situation here but I think the time has come to make some real changes. My current job is a dead end and a reflection of my lifestyle before getting sober (I'm surrounded by a plethora of alcohol everyday). Some re-structuring is happening there and I'm not getting the shifts I had hoped for.

The plus side to this is I mostly work nights anyway and have a lot of time during the day to pursue other things. I'm hesitant to even write about the specifics but I got my real estate license last year and went through the training.. while still in active drinking mode. Realized there's no way I was ready to make a name for myself "professionally". But now I'm ready to try. I'm under no delusions about my prospects starting out.. the turn over rate is extremely high, success rate is low. Ultimately I want to get into the investing side of things but don't have that kind of capital up front and would like to learn the ropes from the inside first.

So anyway, I'm posting about this here to keep myself accountable. I can start anytime I choose to the hard part is just making that call and deciding to walk into the office. I don't know what I'm so afraid of but I know I can't keep holding myself back in sobriety forever. So any words of encouragement would be appreciated I guess. Thanks for reading.

D122y

Cos,

For me...once I got past about 100 days clean I remembered my problems were all my fault.

Now I tell myself that I made this bed, I am sleeping in it. The sober me has more energy and patience. I speak more clear and concise. My eyes are bright white and I smell like a mixture of cocoa butter and eternity colonge.

I am pretty much the opposite of me when I was drinking.

Things are looking up.

I still crave every day, but I work through it because I don't drink poison any more.

I work my sober life. I believe in myself. I am kind.

But, if someone doesn't like me or whatever, I don't care that much.

If I am confronted about something I don't hesitate to get to the bottom of it.

I have little fear because what people see is what is left of the real me. It is a good thing.

The main and most important thing is I will never drink again. The whole drinking thing was a big mistake that I will never make again.

Hope this helps you in some way.

Thanks.

Cosima11

Yes I have indeed made my bed and now have to live with it. Had I not become an alcoholic I'd probably be on a very different career path by now. Do I regret not following the beaten path and finishing my liberal arts degree? Not necessarily.. Many successful people don't have degrees. I hope to be one of them.

I don't consider my current situation a "problem" as I make more than enough to live comfortably. More like I'm striving for something with more opportunities for growth and advancement but know there will be doubt and uncertainty along the way. I have 3 years left of my 20s, I want to see what I can do with them sober. Yet perpetual procrastination and avoidance are my main downfalls.

zjw

I think it was biminiblue here who told me to look into being a broker. I think she knows a bit about real estate etc.. and might be able to help i hope she chimes in lol.

sorry bimini lol

I just lost my job and like you same stuff it was like one bit STAIN from my old drinking days and i'm glad its gone.

in my case i dont have a degree the lack of one never held me back. I'm a programmer however and have made good money over the years.

I'm sick of it however and with more money usually comes more stress and more pressure oddly however I"ve found it can also come with a lot less work so there is that.

Do what makes you happy before income. You will never be happy if your chasing the dollar.

I think thatw as my mistake I always chased the highest dollar position i could get and didnt think twice about the stress and pressures of it and misery. I just drank that away. When i quit drinking i couldnt just drink it away anymore in my case its been nothing but miserable so i'm glad its gone.

I'm really hopeing to do things diff. I'm at a crossroads. One road will give me the good income i need. the other road may or may not but I think i'll be a lot happier.

I"m getting increasingly more tempted to roll the dice take the happy road and just see how it shakes out. it might be less money i duno.

I think in myc ase like you too if i had not been an alcholic going into my field I dont think I ever woulda chosen it. I hated office work despised it so much its like nails on a chalk board to me. But the money baited me in and I paid a price. Alcohlism got worse depression got worse i was more and more miserable becuase I was tyring to make something that didnt work for me work for me. then when i could not longer drink it away cause of the constant panic attacks the booze caused me life smacked me in the face.

thank god i'm sober now.

But again. do what makes you happy over money.

like the story of the teacher asking kids what they wanna be when they grow up. one says a fireman another a doctor etc.. then the next one says she wants to be happy when she grows up.

Cosima11

Thanks for your reply zjw! Sorry to hear about your crossroads situation, I guess I'd say roll the dice as long as you know you could still go back to the higher income option if necessary. I don't know much about the tech world but could you possibly work on projects independently?

To give some background on my situation.. I was hired by a brokerage, signed all the paperwork, went through their training, then kind of just stopped communicating with them. I haven't paid my mls fee (which I know they can see) and used that as an excuse but really I can pay it. It's all very irresponsible and I feel bad about it but there was just no way I was going to enter into that situation and start trying to make professional connections in the state I was in. Stopped drinking 2 weeks after the training. I'm an independent contractor with them so it's not like I've fallen through on any obligations, and I'm assuming I can still go back in and smooth things over but don't really know honestly. My name is still on their website so.. it's just a pending awkward situation I'm gonna have to deal with eventually.

One of my step parents is a "highly successful" lawyer, also a functional alcoholic. I saw the misery firsthand growing up and never wanted to "sell out" for the money or prestige. But now things have kind of come full circle. I'll do whatever it takes basically to have financial freedom.

Couldn't tell you how I ended up choosing real estate but something about it felt very right. Now I guess I have to figure out if that still applies when I'm sober. No way to know until I try.. So what am I waiting for? It's all getting a bit ridiculous.

zjw

yeah its possible i can stay in my field and do something else. I'm sorta hoping that i can find some position doing something else in my field locally. Its a long shot and would likely involve a paycut i'm sure but the right place and people to work with it could work. If not I might just look for something else locally to do which would be an even bigger pay cut. It is what it is tho.

In your case it sounds like you can just get back in contact with this brockerage? Or just find another?

It almost sounds like your anxious / awkward about stepping up to bat maybe your just nervous about the new possiblities for your life?

All you gotta do is quit drinking and show up and you can get the ball rolling.

When i got sober i could barely function. I'd just show up to work and go through the motions. To be honest not a lot has changed since those early days with my work. Which is why i'm glad to be done and moving on but I new i had to at least show up.

I had the same thing highly function alcholic step parent who basicly just trashed the family. All he did was chase money etc.. But I guess in his case that was nt the main part of his problem I dont htink.

Just be careful is all financial freedom is an illusion more money more nonsense and there is nothign wrong with that at all assuming you can handle the added nonsense.

I know some pretty wealthy successfull business owners. They got nice cars nice houses money is not a problem for them at all thats the easy part. But try getting 5 minutes of there time? They never have time for family sure they can throw money at family but there married to there work and miserable about many other things in there lives.

I think finding that happy balance that works for you is the best bet.

Dropsie

What great support!

biminiblue

You called?

I sold Real Estate for a few years. The reason I was suggesting it to Z is because he expressed an interest and it's something that can be done five hours a week or 80 hours a week. In the beginning if you don't have a lot of contacts in the area it's a bit of a struggle, but it's possible to make a very good living if it pans out.

I think brokers (the guy who owns the office) try to get as many licensed Real Estate agents as possible into the stable because the broker takes a cut of the agents' sales.

It's common for people to drop out before they even get started; it's a complicated business. I'm pretty sure the broker would be happy to have you back in his line-up regardless of why you left. It's a numbers game with brokers.

Some people can make a go at it because they are natural salespeople.

I just think it's a good second income and it's something you can ease into at your own pace, and that was what I was thinking with Z.

I ended up getting out due to a lot of reasons. It just wasn't safe for me. I was a young woman and had to put myself in too many unsafe situations.

Cosima11

Thanks for your thoughtful replies, sorry for taking so long to get back. Just been feeling pretty low energy lately.. I try to be grateful for the job I have now but it's pretty draining having to fake social interactions all the time, avoid getting sucked into personal drama, dealing with drunks constantly and just generally being surrounded by a lifestyle I want nothing to do with anymore.

I am feeling anxious about the future but have set a goal to go in and talk with my brokerage by the end of the month. Cause somethings gotta give and it's not going to be my sobriety. I know with real estate it will take time and effort to get things off the ground (and there's no guarantee it will even be worth the effort) but what do I have to lose by trying it at this point really..