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Tell me the tricks

Old 02-17-2018, 04:18 PM
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Tell me the tricks

I have quit alcohol dozens of times. This time I hope to be more successful. I do not want to do AA - I am a successful, well known business person and the embarrassment would be too much. I hide my drinking well.

I am looking to add to my "tricks". Some I have in mind:

1 - I am stocked up on sparkling water and tea. I pour/make one when I sit down.

2 - I know a walk can distract (and be healthy) so have my walking clothes out and ready (energy is my problem)

3 - I plan to frequent here and read, reply.

Ideas?
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Old 02-17-2018, 04:30 PM
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All those things are good, but I really recommend a recovery action plan to specifically deal with the nuts and bolts of not drinking, cravings, changing our lives....

This is a good introduction to what I mean:

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html (What exactly is a recovery plan?)

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Old 02-17-2018, 04:34 PM
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Why was it not successful the dozens of times you quit?
There are many roads to the same desitnation. I hope you find what works for you and run with it.
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Old 02-17-2018, 04:38 PM
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I'm not even at six months yet, but what I did is 1. Decide never to drink again, no matter what. That was the big one.

2. Early on when raw and disorganized went to some AA meetings so people could give me some emotional support.

3. Made sure I kept an intense, regular work out program

4. Shook off the drama. Feeling anxious? Well sassy, that's par for the course. Craving alcohol? Yep, expected. Sad and depressed? Of course you are, you just ditched your major crutch. Gain a few pounds? Well duh, your sugar intake went up. Feeling guilty about the past? Sure you are, you're an alcoholic.

Everything That came up was NOT an emergency, a huge drama, or the end of the world. I constantly talked myself down and told myself I'd be fine as long as I stayed sober.

Eventually, I was fine. And I still am.

Good luck.
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Old 02-17-2018, 04:46 PM
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So, IME and IMO, the word tricks is....tricky. There's nothing I do that's outsmarting, duping, etc my alcoholism. There's just good, sober habits that one by one make up my life. Everything I try to do is for the best life possible for me and everyone around me - my program (see next bit), a very strong yoga and run program, sleep, a good diet, an excellent network of other people (alcoholic or not) trying to live their best lives, making the next right choice about how I spend my time, what I read, where I go....I could add lots more. Recovery is my entire worldview, comes before everything and everyone else- that includes my precious husband- and that's led to so much to be grateful for, enjoy and value here at 4 days shy of 2 years.

I "didn't want to do AA" for oh, years. I railed against it for no reason than I wanted to keep drinking. Turns out, it saved my life. You can use it and if really given a shot and you work a program, I'd venture odds are good that it would work for you too. And - IME and of nearly everyone else who thought people didn't know or such - nonsense. Everyone knew. AND btw - people with names on buildings in Atlanta are in my meetings, and every level of professional, doctor, business person and so on is represented just like the "average" or "rough" or whatever folks.

Whatever you DO - that word is the key. A plan of action - and not just "surface" habits like a good workout program- centered on quitting drinking, getting sober, then living in recovery - is what those of us with any amount of time have in common.

Best to you.
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Old 02-17-2018, 04:56 PM
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I agree with the above. AA is for everyone. Before my move last week I was also very well known in the community and my boyfriend one of the most ďfamousĒ people in the city. Itís completely anonymous.
I know a lot of people think because of their job they canít go to AA, but you can. Lawyers, doctors, business owners, and former rockers are all people Iíve seen at meetings.
But if youíre unwilling to go, I think having a schedule helps.
Most days my schedule is: 7-8 get ready for work. 9-5 work. 5-630 workout at gym. 630-730 dinner. Then usually either TV, a walk or AA meeting or bowling league.
I go to bed very early in order to get lots of rest. You need lots of rest in recovery.
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Old 02-17-2018, 05:15 PM
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I think a big part of our own recovery from alcoholism means we don't hide the truth of it. It means we are willing and able to talk with others, be open about our struggle and ask for support/ help. Its perfectly acceptable to be successful in your profession and to also be successful in your recovery from alcoholism/ sobriety. IMO, that success requires allowing the cat out of the bag.
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Old 02-17-2018, 05:33 PM
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Not a trick but when I was very new in AA I asked a visitor who had 30 plus years of sobriety to give the AA program in a nutshell. What was the secret?

He said those who stay sober are those who appreciate their sobriety.

Over the years I’ve found a lot of truth in that.
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Old 02-17-2018, 05:54 PM
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When someone makes a comment involving "tricks," no matter what they trying to accomplish, I'm thinking they are looking for the easy way to accomplish their goals.

Dedicate yourself to your sobriety, first and foremost, and don't let ego or pride get in the way. Anyone that might judge you for improving your life in such a big way isn't worth your time.

AA is not my thing, as for a lot of people. However, that doesn't mean that you wouldn't benefit from it.
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Old 02-17-2018, 06:02 PM
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"Tricks" to me sounds like looking for a shortcut. Kind of like reading the Cliff Notes of a book before an exam, instead of reading, and studying the actual book.

Speaking of reading and studying a book, why don't you buy or download a copy of the AA Big Book?

Read and study that.
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Old 02-17-2018, 06:06 PM
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My only 'trick' to being sober is practicing gratitude, and wanting to be sober more than I want to drink.
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Old 02-17-2018, 06:36 PM
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Originally Posted by least View Post
My only 'trick' to being sober is practicing gratitude, and wanting to be sober more than I want to drink.
Hey least, i see that you mention the word gratitude in the majority of your postings, and i am not quite sure i understand what it is that your talking about. I totally agree that being grateful for what you have can help in mental stability, but in staying sober it seems like it everything for you? Can you explain how gratitude made such a huge impact in your sobriety? I mean when i was drinking myself to death, i was still grateful for many things in life. Gratitude was never a Main factor in my decision to stop the madness. I am just trying to figure out the logic behind the term to have such a huge impact.
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Old 02-17-2018, 06:37 PM
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You Tube....mindful meditations. Some are annoying so you’ll have to choose what works for you but taking time to quiet the mind is very helpful.
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Old 02-17-2018, 06:52 PM
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Originally Posted by aboveangel1967 View Post
I have quit alcohol dozens of times. This time I hope to be more successful. I do not want to do AA - I am a successful, well known business person and the embarrassment would be too much. I hide my drinking well.

I am looking to add to my "tricks". Some I have in mind:

1 - I am stocked up on sparkling water and tea. I pour/make one when I sit down.

2 - I know a walk can distract (and be healthy) so have my walking clothes out and ready (energy is my problem)

3 - I plan to frequent here and read, reply.

Ideas?
I would get the book, "Staying Sober: A Guide For Relapse Prevention" by Terence T. Gorski and Merlene Miller.

If you're not going to do AA, this book will at least give you plenty of tools and tricks to stay sober and watch out for relapse.

People use AA as a recovery plan and as an outlet. You're going to need some outlets. This SoberRecovery forum is an excellent outlet.

If you're embarrassed to be seen at meetings, you could always try online meetings.

You might also want to get a therapist. Sobriety as well as life can have plenty of ups and downs that could trigger you to drink. You're going to need someone to talk to who has knowledge and experience.

And last but not least, ask God to help you stay sober every day!
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Old 02-17-2018, 07:44 PM
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Originally Posted by cotwo View Post
Hey least, i see that you mention the word gratitude in the majority of your postings, and i am not quite sure i understand what it is that your talking about. I totally agree that being grateful for what you have can help in mental stability, but in staying sober it seems like it everything for you? Can you explain how gratitude made such a huge impact in your sobriety? I mean when i was drinking myself to death, i was still grateful for many things in life. Gratitude was never a Main factor in my decision to stop the madness. I am just trying to figure out the logic behind the term to have such a huge impact.
It wasn't til I started counting my blessings that I realized how blessed I was. I would lose all I am blessed with if I were to drink.

And being grateful makes me happier.

https://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/22/o...pier.html?_r=0
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Old 02-17-2018, 08:45 PM
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Thanks and wow on your sober date. Huge respect!
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Old 02-17-2018, 08:50 PM
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I really appreciate all the comments!!

I am just back from a wake and I drank only water. Does not seem like a big deal but trust me - it is for me.
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Old 02-17-2018, 09:48 PM
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Every victory IS a big deal - congrats!

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Old 02-18-2018, 12:09 AM
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As a teacher I was VERY worried about people finding out if I went to AA in my home town, although in the end I did get desperate enough to find the willingness to do whatnot needed to do. Once I'd been to AA I realised that these people had been going for years without it becoming public knowledge. I have only met 2 people who have had their anonymity blown.
1 - a young man who befriended an exciteable newcomer and accepted a Facebook friend request from him, and said exciteble young newcomer wanted to share their own recovery with the world, accidentally sharing the other persons. AA and social media don't mix. But I'm sure you wouldn't risk anything like that anyway.

2 - woman who liked to chainsmoke outside meetings got spotted chainsmoking outside meetings on a regular basis by someone whose ex was AA so they knew it was a meeting. Again. Common sense could have avoided that if she'd wanted it to.

You're a successful business person, so presumably can easily drive out of town for meetings. Perhaps that could be an option. You don't have to go to the ones near where you live or work, you can go anywhere.

Even if you choose not to go to meetings their website has lots of resources you can draw on.


Have you seen Dees threads about making a plan? There are lots of great links in there.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...y-plans-1.html (Psst...wanna know why I'm always recommending recovery plans?)

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Old 02-18-2018, 01:08 AM
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Originally Posted by aboveangel1967 View Post
I have quit alcohol dozens of times. This time I hope to be more successful. I do not want to do AA - I am a successful, well known business person and the embarrassment would be too much. I hide my drinking well.
I think the best plan of action is to admit that your past plans have not worked, and you need a more solid approach.
Admitting you have a problem and going to AA is an outstand start. Many people feel ashamed or embarrassed at first, but feel a million times better once they have a support system such as AA.
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