This has been the worst time of my life

Old 02-19-2018, 07:16 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
aasharon90's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,229
We all go thru, what I call them, growing
pains in recovery. When i stopped drinking
back in August 1990 via a family intervention
and a 28 rehab stay, i emotionally began
this journey at the time I actually began
drinking, which was in my teens.

When i began drinking i actually stopped
growing and maturing emotionally. So at
30 yrs old when i entered rehab, I was
emotionally immature at 17 yrs old.

So, don't panic and don't rush the process
as you continue to listen, learn, absorb
and apply helpful, healthier tools and knowledge
of your addiction and recovery to your
everyday life.

You are not alone in how you are feeling
in early recovery. However, don't push
aside or ecnore suicidal thoughts. Besure
to talk to your sponsor, family, your
physician, because they are all there
for us to reach out to for emergencies
and help.

Alcohol is a poison that affects every
inch of our human bodies. Physically,
mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
Body, mind and soul.

All the days and yrs we abused ourselves
with this poison has taken a told on us
inside and out. It takes time for everything
to mend properly.

Use your recovery program to help
repair the damage from the past.
Relationships, jobs, finances, resentments
we harbored and drank over, etc.
which is where the steps come in for.

Use your physicians being completely
honest with them about your addiction
and program of recovery letting them
know that if any medicine is to be administered
that it not be narcotic or habit forming
because your recovery is top priority
and absolutely don't want anything
to mess with it.

That is being responsible for your
recovery and you will protect it by
all means.

Never hesitate to ask for helpful
suggestions as many of us who have
found success in recovery have
all been there, done many of the
same similar things as to what
you are going thru.

Sober Recovery Strong, passing
on my own ESH - experiences,
strengths and hopes of what my
life was and is like before, during
and after alcohol.
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Old 02-19-2018, 01:52 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
I think it might be a mistake to associate the feelings you are having with drinking or recovery.

Remove drinking and people do after many months return to their "normal."

Your normal isn't ok. You're suffering. It sounds like clinical depression.

Before throwing yourself back into the drink believing this is an alcohol issue, go get some help. It sounds like some therapy and medications would help.

You aren't hopeless. Neither is your life. You just need some help. Life can turn around. I know things feel impossible right now. If you don't have hope for yourself, let us have it for you.

Make that call.
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Old 02-20-2018, 05:29 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 47
Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
welcome to SR wastedpotential

how are you going sobrietyhurts?

Thanks Dee checking in with day 5.
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Old 02-20-2018, 07:22 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
waynetheking's Avatar
Join Date: May 2013
Location: fort worth tx
Posts: 1,373
Keep going. Don't drink. Glad your doing ok. Keep checking in.
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Old 02-20-2018, 07:29 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
SteelRes211's Avatar
Join Date: May 2017
Location: Cleveland Ohio-ish
Posts: 395
Originally Posted by Bunny211 View Post
This is NOT abnormal. I think people in meetings often make it out like like is SOOOOOOOOOOOOO Great when they get sober...this giant pink cloud hovering above, rainbows and puppies etc. I can honestly say that when I got sober how I felt physically got better but everything else GOT WORSE for a while. I felt lower than low and more miserable than I ever did when I drank. It was like ripping a band aid off a wound and it HURT. Meetings pissed me off because everyone talked about how great sobriety was even early on - and that was NOT the case for me. I struggled for 18 months before I came into my own and figured out what I needed to do to be happy. It takes a while to understand yourself, to know what you like and dislike, for your anxiety to lessen, to sleep through the night, for the anger and despair to fade etc. The good news is that it does fade...and life DOES get better. For me it took a long while. I went on an antidepressant at 18 months sober and it has helped. I cut out some toxic relationships and those helped. I made my recovery program work FOR ME and stopped believing that I needed someone (a sponsor) to tell me what I should do. It's MY life. I got sober to LIVE it.

Really early on, where you are, it is baby steps. One foot in front of the other. Shoot for midnight. Get some exercise. Hit a meeting. Find a support network. If it DID NOT get better NOBODY (and I mean nobody) would stay sober. So hang your hat on that...that it got better for everyone else who is still sober and it WILL get better for you too! BIG HUGS! Fight the good fight! I believe in you.

<3 Bunny
Right on the money, great post Bunny.
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