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Tell me the tricks

Old 02-18-2018, 03:00 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Understanding that when my mind or body was stressed it automatically turned to alcohol was a breakthrough for me. I made sure I didn't get too hungry, thirsty or tired, and if I did have a craving I breathed deeply 5 times (relaxation). It worked well.
5 years down the track I don't have any cravings for alcohol.
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Old 02-18-2018, 04:10 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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I will add to BB's comment (and BB, I didn't know you were a teacher!) - my now husband was "slow" to come to AA. He is four months behind me in his sobriety and when we first started dating (round two, actually, as we dated in high school and he found me in summer 2016! Great story for a diff thread ) he was a month sober and I was five.

He is one of three Area Superintendents of the largest county school system in GA. One of his concerns was indeed privacy. It took him awhile, and listening and observing me, to see that AA was worth a shot, and that he had choices about anonymity. He began with mtgs I attend(ed) in the city of Atlanta proper, while he still lived in the suburbs, and gradually came to realize NO ONE ELSE cared what he was doing, unless they had some issue themselves. He even found that when an opportunity to reveal his disease to his superiors happened, it was exactly the right time and way to do it. He's since been promoted, just as an FYI.

I am a mild skeptic about "complete" anonymity bc we are human. And frankly, I believe most (all?) of us have a hard time truly "keeping secrets."

Finally- we each get a choice about how to handle our recovery. I heard the saying "there are as many types of alcoholics as there are alcoholism" and my type has turned out to be very public. I am openly a 12 stepper though careful about actually using the word AA - and I now have a platform for my recovery as I run a restaurant industry recovery group. My mom, to put it briefly, and my parents together, have historically been exceedingly private about her disease and recovery.

Bottom line to all this? My recovery and PERMANENT sobriety matters more than any modicum of anonymity or not that I may have. My life is at stake.

Just my $0.02 plus, as I often close my comments around here!
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Old 02-18-2018, 05:16 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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I am a successful, well known business person and the embarrassment would be too much.

good on ya for being successful.
im sure theres more that one business acquaintence that is aware of the drinking problem already.

would you prefer to keep drinking,end up in jail over a drunk driving or even drunk driving causing death and thatmaking the headlines?

think about it- youre worried about people finding out youre getting help.
no mention of being worried if people found out what stage of alcohlism youre at.
which some people already know.

paul O- the first commercial airline pilot convicted of flying a commercial aircraft while intoxicated, made headlines worldwide for his actions.
got sober in AA.

eric clapton,jamie lee curtis,stephen king, anthony hopkins, steve-o,martin sheen,SRV, art van........ just a couple that got over the fear and pride to go to AA(srv ,hopkins, and paul o have great open talks you can listen to online) and have been sober for years or died sober.
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Old 02-18-2018, 06:32 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by tomsteve View Post
I am a successful, well known business person and the embarrassment would be too much.

good on ya for being successful.
im sure theres more that one business acquaintence that is aware of the drinking problem already.

would you prefer to keep drinking,end up in jail over a drunk driving or even drunk driving causing death and thatmaking the headlines?

think about it- youre worried about people finding out youre getting help.
no mention of being worried if people found out what stage of alcohlism youre at.
which some people already know.

paul O- the first commercial airline pilot convicted of flying a commercial aircraft while intoxicated, made headlines worldwide for his actions.
got sober in AA.

eric clapton,jamie lee curtis,stephen king, anthony hopkins, steve-o,martin sheen,SRV, art van........ just a couple that got over the fear and pride to go to AA(srv ,hopkins, and paul o have great open talks you can listen to online) and have been sober for years or died sober.
I was about to post this same sentiment. I was worried about people knowing I was in AA but not worried about people seeing me sloppy drunk doing all manner of ridiculous things. I can see now the insanity of that thinking.
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Old 02-18-2018, 08:44 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by tomsteve View Post
[I]


paul O- the first commercial airline pilot convicted of flying a commercial aircraft while intoxicated, made headlines worldwide for his actions.
got sober in AA.
i made a mistake here- the mans name is Lyle P.
and forgot to add the remarkable turnaround he made :
the judge who tried, sentenced, and sent him to prison watched his journey and reappeared eight years after the trial. He became the driving force behind a Presidential pardon although he'd never supported a petition for pardon in all his years on the bench.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RoFooDq0v_M
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Old 02-18-2018, 08:49 AM
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Um yeah, I was worried about what "people" would think of me for attending a 12 step program but didn't give a second thought to staggering about drunk!!

It doesn't quite make sense!
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Old 02-18-2018, 11:30 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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I would try some sort of meeting. Even online, then no one would know who you are.
At AA you donít have to give names or details of your life unless you want to.
I saw one of my clients at a meeting once and she wasnít even phased, just smiled and shook my hand .
I donít think sparkling water in the house will help. I know it wouldnít for me, Iíd just see it as mix .
But everyone is different so maybe it will.
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Old 02-18-2018, 11:38 AM
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Lots of very good advice in this thread. I will add my own:

Look into mindfulness meditation even if it is only to sit down quietly 10 minutes a day or when you feel yourself getting all winded up.
There are many very good videos on youtube.

and of course, keep on reading and participating on SR
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Old 02-18-2018, 11:49 AM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by aboveangel1967 View Post
I have quit alcohol dozens of times. This time I hope to be more successful. I do not want to do AA - I am a successful, well known business person and the embarrassment would be too much. I hide my drinking well.

I am looking to add to my "tricks". Some I have in mind:

1 - I am stocked up on sparkling water and tea. I pour/make one when I sit down.

2 - I know a walk can distract (and be healthy) so have my walking clothes out and ready (energy is my problem)

3 - I plan to frequent here and read, reply.

Ideas?
1) Ditch the ego

2) Be open to others direction who have been sober for awhile.

3) Being a successful business person means nothing to the alcohol bottle. In fact you have further to fall. We all put our pants on the same way in the morning.

4) AA isn't the end all be all, but not considering even opening that door raises a red flag.

Good Luck! When you are truly ready, you will know.

AG
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Old 02-18-2018, 03:25 PM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by aboveangel1967 View Post
I do not want to do AA - I am a successful, well known business person and the embarrassment would be too much.
AA is absolutely not for everyone, it definitely wasn't for me either, but is it AA or just public meetings that you want to avoid? If public meetings are ok, as long as they are not AA, then in many places there are alternative support groups available, for example SMART and Lifering. If the issue is public meetings, then there are lots of online support opportunities, including online AA meetings, SMART, Lifering, and of course this forum.

The key for most (not all, but most) people is, getting support and making and sticking to recovery plans. That doesn't have to be AA, and it doesn't have to be face-to-face, but it's generally a lot more than deciding one day to quit and hoping it sticks this time.
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Old 02-18-2018, 03:58 PM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Stayingsassy View Post
I'm not even at six months yet, but what I did is 1. Decide never to drink again, no matter what. That was the big one.

2. Early on when raw and disorganized went to some AA meetings so people could give me some emotional support.

3. Made sure I kept an intense, regular work out program

4. Shook off the drama. Feeling anxious? Well sassy, that's par for the course. Craving alcohol? Yep, expected. Sad and depressed? Of course you are, you just ditched your major crutch. Gain a few pounds? Well duh, your sugar intake went up. Feeling guilty about the past? Sure you are, you're an alcoholic.

Everything That came up was NOT an emergency, a huge drama, or the end of the world. I constantly talked myself down and told myself I'd be fine as long as I stayed sober.

Eventually, I was fine. And I still am.

Good luck.
Hi- I was curious how long it took you to feel straightened out. Iím on round 2 (round 1 was 5 months). Only at 11 days now, but I canít go back. Physical stuff was picking up (heart racing, indigestion, anxiety etc) too much to even seriously contemplate drinking again. Not to mention the consecutive days and amounts consumed were on the rise.
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Old 02-18-2018, 05:00 PM
  # 32 (permalink)  
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So you have a deadly disease and your worried people will know about It?
Your looking for "tricks" that eventually will let you down and kill you?
I got news for ya, everyone knows your a drunk and your looking for a easy way out. It doesn't work this way. You need to educate yourself on the disease of alcoholism. Your in for the fight of your life. Literally.
Sorry to be so direct here. There no such things as tricks to surviving this disease.
You need a plan. Just as you do in business. You need a plan of action to survive.
Go to AA and sit there and listen. If it doesn't help then switch gears and make a new plan. The main thing is you get busy and don't rely on tricks. Alcoholism will continue right through any of those.
Don't drink.
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Old 02-18-2018, 09:40 PM
  # 33 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by AlwaysGrowing View Post
1) Ditch the ego

2) Be open to others direction who have been sober for awhile.

3) Being a successful business person means nothing to the alcohol bottle. In fact you have further to fall. We all put our pants on the same way in the morning.

4) AA isn't the end all be all, but not considering even opening that door raises a red flag.

Good Luck! When you are truly ready, you will know.



AG
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Old 02-19-2018, 02:29 AM
  # 34 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by waynetheking View Post
So you have a deadly disease and your worried people will know about It?
Your looking for "tricks" that eventually will let you down and kill you?
I got news for ya, everyone knows your a drunk and your looking for a easy way out. It doesn't work this way. You need to educate yourself on the disease of alcoholism. Your in for the fight of your life. Literally.
Sorry to be so direct here. There no such things as tricks to surviving this disease.
You need a plan. Just as you do in business. You need a plan of action to survive.
Go to AA and sit there and listen. If it doesn't help then switch gears and make a new plan. The main thing is you get busy and don't rely on tricks. Alcoholism will continue right through any of those.
Don't drink.

I wouldn't go that far but my guess is more people suspect the OP has a problem than he realizes.
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Old 02-19-2018, 07:04 AM
  # 35 (permalink)  
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i'm not an aa type of person so dont think i'm just beating the blue book here. But it took me just over a year to go to an AA meeting. I was not "one of those people" . I also didnt want to be seen walking into "that place". Or standing out front with "those people"

Its odd tho I never had a problem standing out front of a bar "that place". Or going into a bar with "those people". I had no problem laughing along and saying I was one of "those people" when i was at a bar or something.

Both situations above are what they are but one has a positive ring to it and one does not. One celebrates active alcoholism and one does not. One celebrates recovery and a new begining and a good long happy life one does not.

I got to my first aa meeting looked around the room and thought how the heck did my life end up here with all of "these people" ya know the ones mom warned me about the lowest of the low the scum of the scum and I was one of them.

Problem was my perspective tho it wasnt the AA meeting.

Now I'm not an aa person. But dont rule it out. I spent my first year going it alone and it was hard very hard. I would have been wise going to AA or soemthing on day one. In hindsite i wish someone woulda carted me to AA or rehab I wish someone would have saved me from myself.

Your posting here tho tahts a good thing. get all the support and help you can get!.
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Old 02-19-2018, 07:27 AM
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I know a few in the U.S. military who don't go to meetings on base because of anonymity concerns.
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Old 02-19-2018, 07:32 PM
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Here's my point. During active alcoholism we look sick, we act sick, we are sick. Physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. We're insane. That's what alcoholism does to us. Anyone that is close to us will recognise this. How can you not? Sure you can hide it in certain ways. Eventually it will surface and everyone knows. Perhaps the OP is not at this stage yet.
When you look at alcoholism for what it really is. A deadly insidious progressive disease ,then worrying about others that know you have it should be of no concern. Your battling for your life. That's all that matters. In my opinion.
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Old 02-19-2018, 09:04 PM
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Originally Posted by Ken33xx View Post
I know a few in the U.S. military who don't go to meetings on base because of anonymity concerns.
I Know a chap who was in the Navy, ran into problems and went though some kind of treatment option they had in the US Navy, then joined AA.

When he had recovered, they gave him command of a brand new destoyer. Now that would be a buzz.
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Old 02-19-2018, 09:31 PM
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Originally Posted by Gottalife View Post
I Know a chap who was in the Navy, ran into problems and went though some kind of treatment option they had in the US Navy, then joined AA.

When he had recovered, they gave him command of a brand new destoyer. Now that would be a buzz.
While that's a nice story I understand why some prefer meetings off base.
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Old 02-19-2018, 10:00 PM
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Originally Posted by Ken33xx View Post
While that's a nice story I understand why some prefer meetings off base.
Good for you Ken. The actual point was that positions of great responsibilty in important organisations are open to recovered alcoholics, even if the employer has knowledge of their condition.
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