johnnyt53

Hey Deepsouth, I went through a similar situation years ago. I thought I was in a very good marriage, things were going well we weren't drinking or using drugs anymore of which we had a history but that got straightened out. Out of the blue she left me for a drinker, went back to it herself. I didn't know how to handle it so I started back with all the crap that was killing me before. Filled with self-pity I almost lost it. Got in a 12 step program, got out of myself and started healing. Time went by, met a wonderful honest women, got married again and have two beautiful grown sons. Not saying that life is perfect by any means but it is life and will go on. I do know that doing one more time what doesn't work will be just doing one more time what doesn't work. I think you know the answers more than you think you might.

Dropsie

Wow, that is low.

But she is clearly putting a line under it and moving on.

So, you should do the same.

And starting to post here and addressing the elephant in the room was a great start!

cruiser1911

I dont know how much is okay to say I used the antabuse for the first couple of months. for me personally it was a good crutch. in the morning I was always strong and was not going to drink that day by evening I would be sore, tired, cold know the kids would be at home being kids. and stop at the liquor store, the pill made that not an option while my brain slowly worked on healing. but actually keeping stopped its not the answer. this site has been a lifesaver in that department for me I was going to have a drink last week to celebrate and blow 3.5 months worth of work when that thread by nulameanszero came back up. I was sitting at my computer crying. whenever Im really having a rough day I will come here and read for 15 minutes. just how Im dealing with it

Obladi

I have experience with both medications. As cruiser said, Antabuse is a good crutch. And by the way, I don't think there's anything wrong with crutches - broken leg, broken brain, what's the difference?

Oral Naltrexone did help reduce cravings for me, but it turns out my variety of this thing is habitual. So it didn't really help. I've heard the injectable version, Vivitrol, is amazingly helpful but have no experience with that.

Ultimately yeah, no pill is gonna cure your ill, but if it helps then I say go for it. Just steer clear of benzos no matter what. Fortunately for me I'm not a pill person, but I hear those guys are wicked addictive.

xo
O

Renato

Please, please do not go down the road of drinking. You will set yourself for depression far worse than you are experiencing. Put distance between yourself and alcohol. I would guess unless you are a long term hardened alcoholic with several failed quit attempts, medication is premature. However, I would not rule out discussing with your doctor a course of anti depressants such as SSRIs coupled with Xanax. These do work I can assure you at least from my experience. Your mood will be hugely lifted after 1 month and you will be able to cope much better. But also from my experience the SSRIs will lose effectiveness with alcohol. If you have a good friend i.e. one who is a man (women are useless and lacking in empathy in this situation) rely on him to help you through. You can recover from marital breakdown remarkably quickly - trust me, I’ve been there. Alcoholism however can destroy your physical and mental health also remarkably quickly and you may not recover but kill yourself.

You may not believe this but your marital breakdown will be the making of you. If you can stay clear of alcohol, you will not know yourself in even 6 months. I mean that sincerely.

Charger1972

So sorry to hear about that. I am in the same boat. My wife cheated with 2 guys, and left me about 2 months ago for one of them. She's now banging at least 3 or 4 different guys. I drank very heavily for 2 weeks and realized that waking up everyday feeling like a train ran me over had to stop. I don't know if you have any children but you need to give it your all to quit, especially for them.

They need a strong stable father, they will be having a tough time adjusting to two households. I was married for 2 1/2 years, together for 4. I know how tough this is, I think about it every single day wishing things were different but if both people don't want it, it won't work. You'll be pleasantly surprised how well you feel when you have some sober time under your belt, start working out and find hobbies you want to do. You're wife doesn't care about you anymore, it's time to do things for you. Here to talk if you need as I can relate very well to the situation. Well wishes.

Dean