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Has this happened to anyone else?? Have you been swimming along seemingly just fine in your recovery, or whatever you want to call it, and then gotten hit with a wave which sort of won't leave you?? It's like I'm obsessed with drinking again. Is this what happens? At the same time, I'm scared to drink. Because if I'm obsessed with it when I haven't drank in a month, then that makes me think there is a problem. I'm just confused why it seems to have come back full throttle, even in the morning, which is not a typical time I ever drank. And I'd just like it to go back to the way I felt yesterday morning, before this all started back up again.
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Originally Posted by tomsteve 
what have you been doing for recovery? any program/plan being worked?
I'm just in a rut all of a sudden. I'm not sure if this is the mental obsession with drinking or if I'm physically craving it (Is that possible, after 29 days when I wasn't craving it yesterday? Can physical cravings go in and out? I thought once they were out, they were out.). But, I guess what does it matter if it's mental or physical, right? For some reason, if I thought these current cravings were because of some brain imbalance with chemicals which I don't even know then I'd feel better, because then I'd have to believe it's being biologically worked out as we speak - that this is just the steps of recovery. On the other hand, if it's just a mental thing (which feels just as real) then maybe I'll always feel this way, which does NOT make me feel better. To live like this?? I don't even know. So much thought into something so useless.
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Join Date: Feb 2016
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Hi Sohard, apart from the craving/obsession for a drink being, in my experience, AV: it’s also aided and abetted by the Fading Affect Bias.
Fading Affect Bias
Fading Affect Bias
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for me it was the mental obsession. craving came once i had a drink. the mental obsessionb was a bugger. drove me bonkers ( or mor bonkers 
)some days, but i didnt drink.
the mental obsession left with T.I.M.E.
)some days, but i didnt drink.the mental obsession left with T.I.M.E.
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Originally Posted by tomsteve
for me it was the mental obsession. craving came once i had a drink. the mental obsessionb was a bugger. drove me bonkers ( or mor bonkers )some days, but i didnt drink.
the mental obsession left with T.I.M.E.
)some days, but i didnt drink.the mental obsession left with T.I.M.E.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
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Originally Posted by Sohard
Well, it's really frustrating that I can't just go pick up T.I.M.E. somewhere. That would be really nice.
So the real crux of the matter is how do we learn to deal with life, isn't it? That's why everyone keeps talking about "having a plan". Quitting drinking itself is actually pretty easy in comparison. Have you discussed this with your counselor specifically by chance? There are a lot of techniques you could explore ( CBT, mindfulness, meditation, etc ) that help us deal with life and make things a bit more manageable.
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Join Date: Sep 2017
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Originally Posted by Sohard
Has this happened to anyone else?? Have you been swimming along seemingly just fine in your recovery, or whatever you want to call it, and then gotten hit with a wave which sort of won't leave you?? It's like I'm obsessed with drinking again. Is this what happens? At the same time, I'm scared to drink. Because if I'm obsessed with it when I haven't drank in a month, then that makes me think there is a problem. I'm just confused why it seems to have come back full throttle, even in the morning, which is not a typical time I ever drank. And I'd just like it to go back to the way I felt yesterday morning, before this all started back up again.
Just think of what happened as the outburst of the starving AV beast - it is dying, because you are not feeding it and it will use every trick in the book to get you to drink again (‘I am not really an alcoholic’, ‘one glass won’t hurt’, ‘my friend drinks, I don’t want to lose her’, ‘it is so wonderful to sit down with family in the evening and enjoy a few glasses of wine’).
Or think of it as a toddler who is throwing a temper tantrum in the checkout aisle of the supermarket - what do you think will happen if you give in and buy it the lollipop it wanted? Just this one lollipop and then it will never bug you again. right? Yeah, right! And as opposed to the toddler, tomorrow the beast will want TWO lollipops and then - well, you know the rest.
Do a debrief: you did incredibly well yesterday, you’re still sober, so something worked. Continue to build on it - this difficult phase will pass, as it always does, and your AV toddler will retreat. Sure, it’ll be back in a few days or weeks, but weaker than ever before!
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: yorkshire UK
Posts: 879
Hi Sohard. I understand where you are coming from. Time does not move fast enough. This time I am currently on day 5 but I know it gets better. Like everyone says do anything just don't drink. Stay on here all evening if you have to. I have hardly left the site in 5 days. Take care. It will pass and you will feel good again.
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Join Date: Feb 2016
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Originally Posted by Sohard
Hi Tomsteve. I've been seeing a therapist and using AVRT for my recovery. It seems - or seemed - to be working. I am not in any way against AA, but for some reason it just doesn't click with me. AVRT did. Not to say that it makes life easy breezy now. AVRT is just something I've been studying and trying to implement.
I'm just in a rut all of a sudden. I'm not sure if this is the mental obsession with drinking or if I'm physically craving it (Is that possible, after 29 days when I wasn't craving it yesterday? Can physical cravings go in and out? I thought once they were out, they were out.). But, I guess what does it matter if it's mental or physical, right? For some reason, if I thought these current cravings were because of some brain imbalance with chemicals which I don't even know then I'd feel better, because then I'd have to believe it's being biologically worked out as we speak - that this is just the steps of recovery. On the other hand, if it's just a mental thing (which feels just as real) then maybe I'll always feel this way, which does NOT make me feel better. To live like this?? I don't even know. So much thought into something so useless.
I'm just in a rut all of a sudden. I'm not sure if this is the mental obsession with drinking or if I'm physically craving it (Is that possible, after 29 days when I wasn't craving it yesterday? Can physical cravings go in and out? I thought once they were out, they were out.). But, I guess what does it matter if it's mental or physical, right? For some reason, if I thought these current cravings were because of some brain imbalance with chemicals which I don't even know then I'd feel better, because then I'd have to believe it's being biologically worked out as we speak - that this is just the steps of recovery. On the other hand, if it's just a mental thing (which feels just as real) then maybe I'll always feel this way, which does NOT make me feel better. To live like this?? I don't even know. So much thought into something so useless.
Have you googled ‘extinction curve bursts’ as it relates to post-addiction processes? This could be part of what you’re suffering from.
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 3,163
We have all been there, with all of it.
It is so hard (great name BTW).
The thing for me was when I really accepted that I was a compulsive drinker and there was no such thing as one drink. Ever. You seem to know this too, but do you accept it.
When you do, it doesn't matter what you are, why your are, you just know that drinking is not an option.
That was acceptance for me. None of the rest matters. I drink compulsively and will always do so.
That means I don't drink, because the compulsion is always there.
That is my reality and I fully accept it.
So I don't drink. Ever, and I won't change my mind.
And it does get easier. I hardly ever want a drink. Occasionally out of the blue, but even then its not really a carving, just a flash and then its gone.
So you will be fine. You will be great. One day you will realise that you didn't think of it once, then it will be a week, a month, a year. You got this -- I can feel it, but don't give in, never give up!
It is so hard (great name BTW).
The thing for me was when I really accepted that I was a compulsive drinker and there was no such thing as one drink. Ever. You seem to know this too, but do you accept it.
When you do, it doesn't matter what you are, why your are, you just know that drinking is not an option.
That was acceptance for me. None of the rest matters. I drink compulsively and will always do so.
That means I don't drink, because the compulsion is always there.
That is my reality and I fully accept it.
So I don't drink. Ever, and I won't change my mind.
And it does get easier. I hardly ever want a drink. Occasionally out of the blue, but even then its not really a carving, just a flash and then its gone.
So you will be fine. You will be great. One day you will realise that you didn't think of it once, then it will be a week, a month, a year. You got this -- I can feel it, but don't give in, never give up!
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Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,283
Originally Posted by Dropsie
We have all been there, with all of it.
It is so hard (great name BTW).
The thing for me was when I really accepted that I was a compulsive drinker and there was no such thing as one drink. Ever. You seem to know this too, but do you accept it.
When you do, it doesn't matter what you are, why your are, you just know that drinking is not an option.
That was acceptance for me. None of the rest matters. I drink compulsively and will always do so.
That means I don't drink, because the compulsion is always there.
That is my reality and I fully accept it.
So I don't drink. Ever, and I won't change my mind.
And it does get easier. I hardly ever want a drink. Occasionally out of the blue, but even then its not really a carving, just a flash and then its gone.
So you will be fine. You will be great. One day you will realise that you didn't think of it once, then it will be a week, a month, a year. You got this -- I can feel it, but don't give in, never give up!
It is so hard (great name BTW).
The thing for me was when I really accepted that I was a compulsive drinker and there was no such thing as one drink. Ever. You seem to know this too, but do you accept it.
When you do, it doesn't matter what you are, why your are, you just know that drinking is not an option.
That was acceptance for me. None of the rest matters. I drink compulsively and will always do so.
That means I don't drink, because the compulsion is always there.
That is my reality and I fully accept it.
So I don't drink. Ever, and I won't change my mind.
And it does get easier. I hardly ever want a drink. Occasionally out of the blue, but even then its not really a carving, just a flash and then its gone.
So you will be fine. You will be great. One day you will realise that you didn't think of it once, then it will be a week, a month, a year. You got this -- I can feel it, but don't give in, never give up!
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Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
Originally Posted by Sohard
Thanks all. I'm frustrated because I woke up thinking I'd be relieved and proud - which I was - but I'm also still craving a glass of wine (which is messed up at 8:07am). I assumed that feeling would go away during the night. I'm just trying to remind myself how good those first few weeks sober felt, and how miserable a drinking life is. I think my mind is beginning to forget that, a bit. And even "a bit" is too much. It's amazing how cocky I'll get, thinking "I got this!", but then boom. I'm only 29 days in (thankfully not 1 day, I can't even IMAGINE how badly I'd feel today had I broke), but I'm just ready for it to get easier for a longer period. I just wish I could speed up time, I guess.
So, your cravings are completely expected and normal. And your thoughts now are not what they will be six months from now. Better days lie ahead.
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Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 78
Hi Sohard! You’re definitely not alone. I can relate to pretty much all of it.. the craving/obsessing, the wanting time to speed up 
I have four months and I get the random thoughts “just one glass would be nice.” Wine was my drug of choice too. BUT I have to play the tape through and remember how crappy I will feel if I give in. It seems like you are handling it rather well. Good job removing yourself from the situation.
I have four months and I get the random thoughts “just one glass would be nice.” Wine was my drug of choice too. BUT I have to play the tape through and remember how crappy I will feel if I give in. It seems like you are handling it rather well. Good job removing yourself from the situation.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,408
Hi Sohard. Just wanted to say I really admire what you're doing. Some of us have never made it to a whole month and really think that's amazing
edited to ad: I was with you in spirit on a cold rainy night last night. I opted for hot chocolate instead. Never been into that but it beat the alternative and was pretty good
edited to ad: I was with you in spirit on a cold rainy night last night. I opted for hot chocolate instead. Never been into that but it beat the alternative and was pretty good
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: London
Posts: 71
Well done sohard. I'm not going to lie, there will be more times like this but you will get through it. Four years ago I was in the same place that you are in right now but I've come through it and my life is amazing now. I am so grateful and happy to be sober that I never want to drink that poison ever again. I rarely think about alcohol now let alone crave it! Be strong and push yourself through to the other side, there are plenty of rewards awaiting you as a sober person.
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