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Old 01-07-2018, 03:18 PM
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I really want some wine. 28 days and I'm pondering if I'm really an alcoholic. I hate this feeling!
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Old 01-07-2018, 03:19 PM
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Don't drink. You know what will happen. Call a sponsor or get to a meeting.
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Old 01-07-2018, 04:05 PM
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Originally Posted by Sohard View Post
I'm pondering if I'm really an alcoholic.
That's almost a sure sign.

Ponder it all you want. Just don't believe it.
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Old 01-07-2018, 04:10 PM
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I am glad you are still here, PLEASE don't drink. Remember all the reasons you quit, now multiply that by ten, that is the vicious cycle of alcoholism. This disease is very cunning and will try to lure you back by any means, even telling you it wasn't that bad. If you make it back, you will have lost so much more than your clean days. Stay here or make a meeting, a call, anything except drink.

Hugs, Cathy
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Old 01-07-2018, 04:20 PM
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So hard,

If you drink you'll just end up back here wishing you hadn't. If you're not an alcoholic, why do you return here?

People who are not alcoholics just cut down on their own, without difficulty.

People who are addicted struggle with it. They struggle with moderation, with binge drinking, then with sobriety, the whole thing is a struggle.

If you weren't an alcoholic it simply wouldn't be "so hard."
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Old 01-07-2018, 04:32 PM
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Originally Posted by Sohard View Post
I really want some wine. 28 days and I'm pondering if I'm really an alcoholic. I hate this feeling!
Wine is nasty. At least guzzle a straight bottle of listerine. It has more alcohol.
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Old 01-07-2018, 04:41 PM
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You don't want to drink or you wouldn't have posted. Please don't fool yourself into thinking it won't hurt. Read your old posts to remind yourself where you came from. I know you don't want to go back there.

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Old 01-07-2018, 04:53 PM
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Please don’t do it. You’ll be wasting 4 perfect weeks and you’ll have to restart from scratch!
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Old 01-07-2018, 05:39 PM
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Are you ok? You know it isn't the right thing to do or you wouldn't have posted. We're here for you. Just don't give in.
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Old 01-07-2018, 07:30 PM
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I hope you played the tape through to the end and didn't drink Sohard, because the ending is always the same for us alcoholics.
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Old 01-07-2018, 07:42 PM
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How's it going sohard?
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Old 01-07-2018, 08:02 PM
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How you holding up, Sohard?
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Old 01-07-2018, 08:15 PM
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I hope you're ok, so hard.
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Old 01-07-2018, 08:24 PM
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Originally Posted by doggonecarl View Post
That's almost a sure sign.

Ponder it all you want. Just don't believe it.
Carls right - if after all we've been through and we still wonder, there's a great chance we're addicted.

D
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Old 01-07-2018, 08:33 PM
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Soh,

I never liked the word alcoholic.

I like booze addict.

I was definitely physically and mentally addicted. There were times when I drank every day.

When I quit, I craved so hard it was nearly unbearable. SR saved my life.

But, from a medical standpoint, and insurance purposes, I am not sure if I am an alcoholic either.

But I treat myself like one.

I would rather think I am an alcoholic and be wrong, then think I am not an alky and be wrong.

My little wife is starting to get addicted to booze.

She just turned 50 and managed to drink a couple of bottles over the holidays.

I warned her and will continue to do so. I hope she doesn't go over the edge. She basically gets mad at me when I tell her she is starting to drink to much.

I will give it everything I can to save her from the hell the ruled me for 30 plus years.

Thanks.
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Old 01-07-2018, 08:35 PM
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Thanks everyone. I’m okay, thank god. I was doing SO well and then went out to see a movie with my sister and brother-in-law in the suburbs. We went to dinner after and it was just so cold and so snowy and I just kept thinking ‘one night? It’s just ONE night to reward myself for all my hard work’. A glass of red wine would be SO perfect. But at the same time, I was thinking about how devastated I’d feel. It’s like there was an actual angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. It became too hard to watch other people drinking, so I just hightailed it out of there and skipped dinner and drove the 2 hours all the way back to the city (the plan had been to spend the night). The only way I could stop myself from drinking was to make a promise with myself that if I still wanted one tomorrow (“one” meaning a bottle, not a glass), I could have one, because then it would be a planned intelligent decision as opposed to simply a response to a craving. Thus, it would be ‘okay’. Yes, I know that’s nuts. ‘Okay’ In what way?! But, this weird deal I made with myself put me at ease long enough to get out of there and get my head on straight(er). Someone said wait 100 days and it’ll get easier, another person said 5 months...I tried to remind myself that each time I ‘beat’ the craving, the easier the next time will be so to consider this hellish moment one step closer to being free. But I’m not even sure if that’s true or I’m making it upto make myself feel better. I do know I’m super glad to have made it. I just don’t like how I can’t foresee making it a lifetime. That sounds impossible. Just impossible. But, I’m fine for now. Thank you all/
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Old 01-07-2018, 08:39 PM
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Yay, awesome! Congrats for Beating this urge!
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Old 01-08-2018, 12:08 AM
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I'm really glad you made it through sohard - there is no 'just one' for people like us - its the first drink that starts all the trouble

D
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Old 01-08-2018, 12:36 AM
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Originally Posted by Sohard View Post
The only way I could stop myself from drinking was to make a promise with myself that if I still wanted one tomorrow (“one” meaning a bottle, not a glass), I could have one, because then it would be a planned intelligent decision as opposed to simply a response to a craving.
its never tomorrow,though, so you couldnt drink anyways. when ya wake up tomorrow its not longer tomorrow. its today.
just dont drink today.
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Old 01-08-2018, 05:10 AM
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Thanks all. I'm frustrated because I woke up thinking I'd be relieved and proud - which I was - but I'm also still craving a glass of wine (which is messed up at 8:07am). I assumed that feeling would go away during the night. I'm just trying to remind myself how good those first few weeks sober felt, and how miserable a drinking life is. I think my mind is beginning to forget that, a bit. And even "a bit" is too much. It's amazing how cocky I'll get, thinking "I got this!", but then boom. I'm only 29 days in (thankfully not 1 day, I can't even IMAGINE how badly I'd feel today had I broke), but I'm just ready for it to get easier for a longer period. I just wish I could speed up time, I guess.
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