theVman31

I dont know what to say.
I am a 41 year old alcoholic.
This morning I bought a bottle of whiskey.
I really want to cry. But I cant.
My wife and my 5 year old daughter are here in the house.
I had nearly 4 months abstinence.
I love you all sober recoveriers. (24h, class of august & weekenders especially)
I respect you all so much those of you who have managed this sickness. There are powerful people here.
I am going to Log off now.
I dont know for how long.
Im sorry D. Didnt manage to stay in control.
I would love to watch cartoons with my daughter right now.
To all my friends : sorry.
Pray for me.
When all else fails turn to god.
V.

tomsteve

when all else fails,
dump the bottle and turn to God.

decchemist

Have you drunk any of it yet Vman? What was your trigger?

Just get rid asap! You don't want to waste that 4 months. You can do it.

SnazzyDresser

Vman, you're only lost temporarily. The right track is still out there, and I bet you find your way back to it before long.

August252015

Glad you shared.

You didn't disappoint us. Yourself, yes, but you are alive and have another chance.

Pretty sure the August class will still welcome you- my Feb 2016 class "keeps" everyone, whatever happens - and the rest of us will listen and support you too.

Just today- start now, and then repeat.

You can do it.

theVman31

Yes im getting drunk. Drugs on the way.
I love you guys and girls.
I am a total loser.
Snazzy you are my friend since I joined SR.
Déc see you in August class.
August we are friends since long time.
Tomsteve : SR Legend. Love your straight talk
Help.
V.

Obladi

Vman

If we don't give up, we don't lose.
I think?

Glad you're here.

O

theVman31

Thanks Obladi.
V.

ScottFromWI

We can help,but only you can do the work vman, Dump it out and call off the drugs. Think of how incredibly selfishly you are behaving towards your family if that somehow shakes some sense into you. We care but we are not the ones you should be apologizing to.

Perhaps read some of your own wisdom on the subject as well, you have what it takes inside you to do this. You can ask god for help, but only you can dump out the booze

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...r-19-25-a.html ("A beautiful life" : Weekender Thread October 19-25)

Hawkeye13

You can stop the cycle

Dump the rest and don't do any drugs on top of it.

We've most of us relapsed at some point, but stopping right now
is changing the pattern.

You posted first--that's also a change in pattern.
Act on it. Arrest it now.

HTown

Why in the world would you drink with your family around you? Drugs in the presence of your kids? Good God man get a grip. Stop this insane behavior and dump it all out. Do not throw your family away. Do you have anyone local you can call?

fini

Didnt manage to stay in control.

don't know about you, Vman, but can tell you that for me and many others, knowing and accepting that we could not stay in control was the turn around point.

SoberLeigh

Please, please, please dump it, Vman. Please dump it now.

PM me. I will give you my number of you like.

SoberLeigh

Prayers, absolutely.

Please answer mine and pour it out, Vman.

We care so very much.

biminiblue

What set this off, V? What thought or problem did you allow to fester?

I think, spend some time with that (when you are feeling better....like tomorrow.) Journal that out - what happened in the lead-up to buying? Really dig into that.

Then come back to full time sobriety. We care about you. Start again. Don't let the negative thoughts keep you down.

SoberLeigh

Refuse the drugs when they arrive. If they have already arrived, safely get rid of them.

You are not a loser.

We care.

JJ991

I don't know you vman but I read this and felt for you so much. You clearly have so many people on here who care about you, please, please listen to them.

tomsteve

A fellow was stuck on his rooftop in a flood. He was praying to God for help.

Soon a man in a rowboat came by and the fellow shouted to the man on the roof, "Jump in, I can save you."

The stranded fellow shouted back, "No, it's OK, I'm praying to God and he is going to save me."

So the rowboat went on.

Then a motorboat came by. "The fellow in the motorboat shouted, "Jump in, I can save you."

To this the stranded man said, "No thanks, I'm praying to God and he is going to save me. I have faith."

So the motorboat went on.

Then a helicopter came by and the pilot shouted down, "Grab this rope and I will lift you to safety."

To this the stranded man again replied, "No thanks, I'm praying to God and he is going to save me. I have faith."

So the helicopter reluctantly flew away.

Soon the water rose above the rooftop and the man drowned. He went to Heaven. He finally got his chance to discuss this whole situation with God, at which point he exclaimed, "I had faith in you but you didn't save me, you let me drown. I don't understand why!"

To this God replied, "I sent you a rowboat and a motorboat and a helicopter, what more did you expect?"

Stayingsassy

Vman: the only choice you have is to dump it out and stop. All other choices lead to death and destruction and intense pain for your family.

1. Dump it out
2. Call your friend and stop the drugs
3. Eat a large amount of food, now. Whatever you have in the house: eat.
4. Drink lots of water.
5. Apologize to family.
6. Get a ride to aa.

You asked for help, that’s my contribution.

theVman31

Back on day 1.
I will get this right this time.
No excuses. I have been fighting this for 10 years.
I will beat this.
Vinny.