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pain and humiliation

Old 10-23-2017, 08:51 AM
  # 61 (permalink)  
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Stay strong. Focus on each each day. Take it hour by hour, don't look too far ahead. Focus on staying sober for the morning, then the afternoon, etc. Take note of small victories, and don't beat yourself up either.
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Old 10-23-2017, 08:59 AM
  # 62 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by treeguy24 View Post
Focus on each each day. Take it hour by hour, don't look too far ahead..
Yes. Taking it moment by moment, oh how the mind spins looking too far into the future!

Not getting complacent, not thinking “I have it beat,” or Getting overly confident is another issue of mine.
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Old 10-23-2017, 04:50 PM
  # 63 (permalink)  
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Congrats on 28 days stayingsassy

D
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Old 10-23-2017, 06:05 PM
  # 64 (permalink)  
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Sassy,
Congrats on 28 days. Your posts gave me a few ideas on working out and dieting, thank you for that! Whatever it takes to keep the recovery going...
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Old 10-23-2017, 06:45 PM
  # 65 (permalink)  
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Sassy,

I remember your first post in this thread, and thinking how similar your experience was with my fiancé's. I rooted for you and hoped and prayed that he would soon have the awakening that you were having. Sadly, he has not, but I am still hoping that he will. I'm so proud of you! 28 days seems a lifetime to me as the loved one of an active alcoholic. Keep persisting and going through these moments with the grace and courage you have shown thus far. You give me hope for my loved one.

Thank you. Hugs from afar. (:
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Old 10-23-2017, 06:58 PM
  # 66 (permalink)  
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Exact same situation happened to me. Bf wanted to leave at first but he realized I needed help and started walking me to my AA meetings and supporting me.
I’ve drank since then, slip ups. But nothing like usual. Still trying to stay sober of course.
Keep going to your meetings or do the online ones, those are good too.
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Old 10-23-2017, 07:06 PM
  # 67 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by PaintMePatient View Post
Sassy,

I remember your first post in this thread, and thinking how similar your experience was with my fiancé's. I rooted for you and hoped and prayed that he would soon have the awakening that you were having. Sadly, he has not, but I am still hoping that he will. I'm so proud of you! 28 days seems a lifetime to me as the loved one of an active alcoholic. Keep persisting and going through these moments with the grace and courage you have shown thus far. You give me hope for my loved one.

Thank you. Hugs from afar. (:
That was lovely, thank you paint. I hope and pray your fiancé finds his sober awakening, too.
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Old 11-20-2017, 02:51 PM
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8 weeks today.

I’m through most of the early tiredness, mood swings and weirdness, hoping for continued healing as I move forward. Things are better each day, though I am still in a slower mode physically and emotionally than when I was drinking.

What is different this time, is allowing myself the time to heal. In the past this sobriety slowdown would trip me up and make me decide it wasn’t worth it, now I realize there is no other choice but to do this, there is no way out but through, and allowing myself to fumble around a bit as I get through this thing is ok, as long as I do not drink.

Becoming more and more disciplined with myself as time goes on and I feel like I am able to handle it. Seeking balance and peace, not an easy thing for an alcoholic, but going through life with guns blazing isn’t going to cut it right now, my habit of taking life to the extreme just lands me in another extreme position.

Moving right along, day after day, I do not drink, no matter what.
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Old 11-20-2017, 09:46 PM
  # 69 (permalink)  
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Your sincerity in committing - no matter what - is an inspiration to me. I swear last time seemed so much easier, but may memories fail me.

No matter the pain, no matter the temptation, we will find an alternative that doesn't lead to pain and humiliation.
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Old 11-20-2017, 10:17 PM
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Originally Posted by ForestFrenzy View Post
Your sincerity in committing - no matter what - is an inspiration to me. I swear last time seemed so much easier, but may memories fail me.

No matter the pain, no matter the temptation, we will find an alternative that doesn't lead to pain and humiliation.
It would be nice if we didn’t need “practice with quitting,” especially since we never know if we will ever return to health after a relapse...but I swear I have learned so much from each of my attempts at sobriety, I have learned that these things I feel at 2 weeks, one month, six weeks, 8 weeks are normal and expected parts of early sobriety and drinking at them isn’t necessary.

I don’t feel out of the woods and as far as I’m concerned I am never out of the woods, not ever. My pain and humiliation can be returned to me at any time; now, ten years from now, all it takes is just one drink.

Every day and on tougher days sometimes several times a day, I tell myself “I do not drink no matter what.” My survival and personhood depend on it.

There are times the “no matter what” part takes on a gritty feel and I gut them out. The words “no matter what” take on a lot of meaning at those times. Still those words take on a literal and concrete meaning in my brain, whether I am pouring myself a cup of morning coffee or turning down Jell-O shots at a Spartan Race: the words have the same outcome. Most of the time, this makes sobriety comfortable, because the message does not allow room for interpretation. Never underestimate the power of your subconscious and your addiction to attempt to complicate things in order to get you to drink. One statement has covered it all for me.

What you tell yourself about yourself matters.
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