nagem88

Hey all. I'm new here. A little info on me.. I'm 28, married and have two boys. I suffer with severe anxiety and have been "treating" it with drinking every night. I've been doing this for about 5 years, with just a few small breaks. The drinking has gotten really bad lately after some family health issues. I can easily drink up to 8-9 beers a night. Beer tends to calm me down when I drink it, but the next day is makes my anxiety worse. I want to be done! I've gained so much weight from drinking, and I know I'm not the healthiest right now. Please give me some tips on how you guys got to sobriety. I'm terrified that I'll have really bad WDs

ScottFromWI

Welcome to SR Nagem88 and congrats on your decision to get better.

First things first - if you fear you will have severe withdrawals, your best bet is to speak with your doctor first. WD's can be dangerous but don't have to be if you plan ahead.

Regarding tips to get ( and stay )sober, take a look at the link below for some great reading. I think the real key is having a plan and doing work daily to meet it. While some folks can simply stop drinking and not think twice, most of us need to have some structure and goals for the short and long term as party of our sobriety plan. For some that's going to recovery meetings and very structured programs. For other's its self paced.

Once you can get some sober time under your belt you can start working on you anxiety too - i had to treat mine as a distinct and separate problem from my addiction.

Here's the link - again welcome and congrats on your choice to live a better life sober!

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

steve-in-kville

I agree with Scott. You may find that your anxiety is simply a result of the heavy drinking, at least it was that way for me! Also... seek some medical advise before quitting cold turkey. You could do a taper (I did) but Its not for everyone. Some people try it and fail.

babyedwards

I was in your boat 1 month ago. I suffer debilitating panic attacks. I've noticed that since ive stopped drinking, they aren't as intense. I still get them but to be fair it's still early on in my sobriety. I have hope that it will only get better. I wish the same for you. Stay with us here. The support this forum has given me is amazing. Love and strength sent your way.

nagem88

Thank you so much for your reply's. I'm not sure how to even go about sobriety, or how to get sober. My husband isn't being supportive at all, and just wants to send me to rehab. Which makes me absolutely sick to my stomach to think about leaving my boys for a while. I'm just so scared right now.

ScottFromWI

Have you considered going to an AA or other recovery meeting in your area? That would be a great place to start. You could also keep reading here and even joint the class of August over in the newcomers section. Quitting is certainly as scary proposition, but mostly because it represents change. And it's definitely something you née to work at...but worth it many times over. I could have never gotten so much better with my anxiety if I would have kept drinking. That in itself is worth it many times over for me.

Don't be afraid to see your doctor either...they can help ease your withdrawal fears and assess your health to make sure it will be safe. They have seen it many times too so no need to be embarrassed about it.

Dee74

Welcome aboard nagem

D

BullDog777

if rehab is off the table, you can get withdrawal meds from your doctor and attend therapy or AA...or just some kind of support to help you deal with life after booze.

I understand the fear. We all do...Early sobriety is scary and messy. It's par for the course until you get your legs back under you. Stick close and keep posting.

Welcome!!

Hevyn

Welcome naggem!

I remember thinkng the same thing - that drinking would help me cope. As you said, it just makes our anxiety worse. I got to the point where it was always in my system - I couldn't get through the day without it, and was totally dependent. This won't happen to you! Glad you are here.

Grungehead

When I got sober 4+ years ago my family doctor was instrumental in helping me get started. He prescribed meds to help mitigate the withdrawals, while at the same time I started seeing an addiction therapist and started going back to AA meetings (this wasn't my first rodeo). I would definitely recommend at a minimum to talk to your family doctor about wanting to quit drinking and let him/her help devise a plan to help you starting out.

tomsteve

it doesnt seem after 8-9 beers a night then "but the next day is makes my anxiety worse" would mean your truly, 100% there for your children now?
why does leaving your boys make you sick to your stomach?
you say ya dont know how to go about sobriety or get sober, so why not jump on the chance for rehab? youd be able to focus on you- learning what makes you tick and learning tools to live life on lifes terms.
youd be going somewhere to help you and you deserve the help.
and your family does,too.

nagem88

I totally understand what you're saying, and it definitely hit me hard. I know I'm probably not the best parent right now because of everything, and I feel really guilty about it. I just don't know what to do. I'm so lost.

nagem88

So, I just made a huge step! I called a local drug and alcohol treatment center, and I go in Monday for the assessment. Now if only Monday was actually tomorrow! For once, I'm actually excited about something!

ScottFromWI

That's a big step Nagem, congratulations on moving forward in a positive manner. There's plenty of support here between now and Monday, don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it.

tomsteve

awesome!!!
nagem88, im actually glad you have some guilt. that tells me something;
your not a bad person, just a sick one.
bad people dont feel guilt,remorse, and shame.
sick people do.
and there IS a solution!!

guilt,remorse,shame,fear, gloom, dispair,agony....... they were quite common for me throughout my drinking. i spent many,many days/evenings trying to drink it away. i never noticed until i got sober that if it really worked, i wouldnt have had to keep doing it. even when i drank myself into a blackout, theres a high probability i didnt stop thinking about it- i just dont remember because i was in a blackout.

but i found a solution. for me that solution was AA. it took T.I.M.E. but eventually things IN ME started changing and getting better- i started actually liking myself.
another great thing that occured( i really didnt think it would, but had faith in the program and the people that went before me)
the problem with alcohol was removed. that took T.I.M.E. but was well worth everything i had to go through.

it would be wise to make some sort of plan until ya get to that appointment. something to keep ya focused on recovery and not drinking. maybe do some reading on the different recovery methods available. theres also some great AA speakers that you could listen to( even if your not interested in AA, its pretty amazing to hear people who have been in your shoes) on Yt and some other sites,too.

nagem88

Thank you so much for your words! After reading about all of the crazy WD symptoms that people get from going cold turkey, I've decided to taper myself off until I see them on Monday. I've read that this works.. for some people! My husband also has 6 days off starting Monday, so he's going to help me keep my mind off of drinking. Hopefully I can do this with no issues!