Needing some advice/perspectives
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2017
Location: Sioux Falls SD
Posts: 20
Needing some advice/perspectives
So I have really been struggling to maintain and substantial time of sobriety and I am realizing I need to perhaps seriously take a look at some things in my life. I know I am the one who chooses at the end of the day whether to go drink myself into oblivion or not but I do believe lifestyle does play a factor in our long term sobriety.
I work as a bartender and yes I know this is not the best job for me to have. However, I have done this for years and it really is the only thing I have experience doing to support myself other then bar management which I know won't work for me right now due to the stress of that position. As I am typing this I realize this is a silly question to most but nevertheless this is my situation and I am wondering if anyone on here is or was a bartender/bar manager and how did that factor into your sobriety.
I am serious about staying sober and I am willing to do whatever it takes even if that means I need to quit my job. My life and sanity are far more important then a job. I will say I never once have drank on the job or at my job. I've progressed over these past two years to being a solo drink myself to blackout at home type of drunk.
I work as a bartender and yes I know this is not the best job for me to have. However, I have done this for years and it really is the only thing I have experience doing to support myself other then bar management which I know won't work for me right now due to the stress of that position. As I am typing this I realize this is a silly question to most but nevertheless this is my situation and I am wondering if anyone on here is or was a bartender/bar manager and how did that factor into your sobriety.
I am serious about staying sober and I am willing to do whatever it takes even if that means I need to quit my job. My life and sanity are far more important then a job. I will say I never once have drank on the job or at my job. I've progressed over these past two years to being a solo drink myself to blackout at home type of drunk.
Member
Join Date: May 2017
Location: SoCAL
Posts: 152
My rant below will sound crazy, so Im apologizing in advance!
Honestly have a talk with yourself and look in the mirror at the same time, you will see that your face and reflection will show the sincerity and true belief that you want to stop, IF YOU WANT TO STOP ...
Its a bitch , totally understand , but you have to WANT THIS!
After a few weeks the poison will leave your body, after that its a mind game (I'm only speaking about my personal recent discover too BTW, so the vets on here don't bash me pls)
What we have is a ******* disease, BUT its curable, and that alone is a eye opener. You don't have something that you have no control over , YOU DO! confide in friends, go to a meeting, read the amazing stories on here, ......
I sound crazy but honestly you on the right path already , your on this amazing site, its filled with like minded people striving for better in their lives.
The advice I have is this----
Become your KEEPER, Decide right now that everything is going to change because of YOU.
NOBODY else is responsible for this but YOU, your mind and body is YOUR responsibility no one else's.
Get mad that you (and I) WERE powerless yesterday!, but not anymore. Today you make a stand and tomorrow you do the same thing and eventually after days, weeks, months and years you (and I as well) will see that WE had the ability to stop this disease, its was our decision that will eventually be the biggest fork in the road.
Dude I got your back, Im 20 days no alcohol and I feel amazing, BUT I know it can all change the second I let me guard down, guard your sobriety, I was told this a few weeks ago and I do everyday.
We all know we have the ability to **** up and start over again and again, but we have one chance at keeping this winning streak alive, GO FOR IT, compete against yourself in the mirror and in a few days weeks and months , you will see a much healthier , happier person smiling back, saying thank you!
I dont know you, but Im just like you and having the same issues as you. Sorry for my big mouth!!
Honestly have a talk with yourself and look in the mirror at the same time, you will see that your face and reflection will show the sincerity and true belief that you want to stop, IF YOU WANT TO STOP ...
Its a bitch , totally understand , but you have to WANT THIS!
After a few weeks the poison will leave your body, after that its a mind game (I'm only speaking about my personal recent discover too BTW, so the vets on here don't bash me pls)
What we have is a ******* disease, BUT its curable, and that alone is a eye opener. You don't have something that you have no control over , YOU DO! confide in friends, go to a meeting, read the amazing stories on here, ......
I sound crazy but honestly you on the right path already , your on this amazing site, its filled with like minded people striving for better in their lives.
The advice I have is this----
Become your KEEPER, Decide right now that everything is going to change because of YOU.
NOBODY else is responsible for this but YOU, your mind and body is YOUR responsibility no one else's.
Get mad that you (and I) WERE powerless yesterday!, but not anymore. Today you make a stand and tomorrow you do the same thing and eventually after days, weeks, months and years you (and I as well) will see that WE had the ability to stop this disease, its was our decision that will eventually be the biggest fork in the road.
Dude I got your back, Im 20 days no alcohol and I feel amazing, BUT I know it can all change the second I let me guard down, guard your sobriety, I was told this a few weeks ago and I do everyday.
We all know we have the ability to **** up and start over again and again, but we have one chance at keeping this winning streak alive, GO FOR IT, compete against yourself in the mirror and in a few days weeks and months , you will see a much healthier , happier person smiling back, saying thank you!
I dont know you, but Im just like you and having the same issues as you. Sorry for my big mouth!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
I worked in the alcohol industry for years, as a bartender and in a retail store that only sold beer. I got a different job 3 years ago and that was when I really started questioning my alcohol consumption. At least for me working in a culture of alcoholism made it seem much more normal and permissive to drink the way that I was. I did a lot of comparing myself to people who drank more than I did or had worse problems than I had. Once I got out of it and started working in an environment where most people didn't drink at all or very rarely made me start to question myself. It is much harder to show up reeking of booze and hung right over in a "regular" job. It was business as usual in my other jobs. Personally, I've always thought that getting out of the alcohol industry was the best thing I ever did for myself. But I get it that we all have to make a buck and bartending can be pretty good money.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2017
Location: Sioux Falls SD
Posts: 20
Originally Posted by zenchaser 
I worked in the alcohol industry for years, as a bartender and in a retail store that only sold beer. I got a different job 3 years ago and that was when I really started questioning my alcohol consumption. At least for me working in a culture of alcoholism made it seem much more normal and permissive to drink the way that I was. I did a lot of comparing myself to people who drank more than I did or had worse problems than I had. Once I got out of it and started working in an environment where most people didn't drink at all or very rarely made me start to question myself. It is much harder to show up reeking of booze and hung right over in a "regular" job. It was business as usual in my other jobs. Personally, I've always thought that getting out of the alcohol industry was the best thing I ever did for myself. But I get it that we all have to make a buck and bartending can be pretty good money.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Sometimes drastic change is necessary Fightingfotme. Certainly it's not impossible to work around alcohol and be sober, but it's a heck of a lot harder. The people we hang out with and the activities we participate in might need significant change too....looks like you realize that too. Talking it through here first is a good choice too, glad you came beer for advice.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,781
I'm an AA guy and I have a lot of good friends that are in the food and beverage business in all areas.. they make a good living and stay sober.. personally I've only paid bartenders.. and I was their favorite customer.. hahaha!! Wishing you the best!!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: West Tn
Posts: 3,043
I wouldn't want to work around alcohol, and I have been sober for a pretty good while.
I don't really like being around a lot of people who are drinking.
A little bit of that goes an awfully long way with me.
I simply wouldn't do what you are doing.
Sobriety is life or death for me.
I don't really like being around a lot of people who are drinking.
A little bit of that goes an awfully long way with me.
I simply wouldn't do what you are doing.
Sobriety is life or death for me.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI
Sometimes drastic change is necessary Fightingfotme. Certainly it's not impossible to work around alcohol and be sober, but it's a heck of a lot harder. The people we hang out with and the activities we participate in might need significant change too....looks like you realize that too. Talking it through here first is a good choice too, glad you came beer for advice.
That said, working in F&B is certainly not a good place for everyone because alcoholism and addiction ARE rampant and many places (including the one where I work) are from benignly (ha) tolerant of drinking and drugging all the way to A-ok drinking on the job and more.
Are you working a program? Would you? Would you accept you cannot drink again and do everything to support that decision? If so, I believe you can have freedom and peace in all areas of your life.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
