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Tough one tonight

Old 01-13-2017, 05:43 PM
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Tough one tonight

Hey SR...got through a difficult one tonight...went to a restaurant and it seemed like everyone was drinking. I am now safe at home on my couch where there is no alcohol and I am starting to relax, but it still baffles me how I can go so long without being tempted but then wham! The monkey is back - ugghhhh!!!

Anyhow - just needed to share - thanks for being here ❤
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Old 01-13-2017, 06:16 PM
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I hear ya. Restaurants are harder for me than bars. Something about wine with dinner . It is difficult for me too. I'm sure it will get easier! Glad you made it home without drinking!
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Old 01-13-2017, 06:17 PM
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Glad you came vinificent and good job on recognizing the situation for what it was. Your actions prove that you've got coping skills to handle the feelings when they do pop up, which they definitely can even months or years into sobriety. What's most important is how you deal with them...which you did with flying colors!
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Old 01-13-2017, 07:11 PM
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I understand, I had a hard time with that too at first. I now take it as an opportunity to order a yummy non-alcoholic drink. I like sweet and fruity...there's also pretty creative coffee drinks out there that you can find most any place as well as lots of different pop options. Sometimes I like to order a large Sprite. I know it's not all that healthy but it's yummy and refreshing. A lot of non- alcoholic drinks actually taste a lot better than alcoholic ones if you give them a chance.
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Old 01-13-2017, 11:24 PM
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Restaurant situations are tough for me also. At a bar, when I say no thank you I've never been questioned why? At a dinner I always get the why not just have one?
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Old 01-14-2017, 02:24 AM
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In my experience, it rises unexpectedly, and then subsides.
Like the sky. Like weather.
I'm not sure it ever stops this mysterious rise.
I think we just get used to it & don't panic & settle in to our storm shelter (of whatever shape).
When I stopped expecting that I would never get those flushed pulls "once I was ok" & accepted that being ok just meant I surpassed/swam atop of the pulls, all was well.
Some lose desire. Some surf or swim desire.
I'm a swimmer. I like to think I can just cut right through the sea of my desires. And then they become mere water.
For me, I will always get flashes.
I swim through. And it's ok that this is how it feels...

I guess I'm saying that you have to find your monkey adorable, but not take its direction...
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Old 01-14-2017, 03:33 AM
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Vini,

Great post.

I live in a big party city and we go out to eat a fair amount.

I order water now, no biggy. I used to order beer or what ever. For me, thankfully I wasn't in to wine w dinner.

I always seem to see more people not drinking than drinking though.

Booze always filled me up. I didn't enjoy the food as much.

Also sometimes I would pre drink, because when got home it would take a lot of drinking before I felt anything later.

That led to some long, sad, bottle emptying night. The hangovers would be brutal.

Now, I really enjoy the food because my belly is usually nice and empty.

Thanks.
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Old 01-14-2017, 04:00 AM
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Wink

Originally Posted by Vinificent View Post
Hey SR...got through a difficult one tonight...went to a restaurant and it seemed like everyone was drinking. I am now safe at home on my couch where there is no alcohol and I am starting to relax, but it still baffles me how I can go so long without being tempted but then wham! The monkey is back - ugghhhh!!!

Anyhow - just needed to share - thanks for being here ❤
getting through those "Tough" ones Builds confidence...
Anytime for Any Reason i get feeling "Not OK" i always (book) Take off...
just my 2 cents..
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Old 01-14-2017, 06:00 AM
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Reality...what a concept!
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Thanks all...the thing that gets me is the physical pain..like a stabbing down my spine. Now I recognize that as my sign that I am NOT in a good place and I need to go home and take some ibuprofen and get some sleep. Glad I am not the only one this still happens to. I am over a year in my journey (minus about 5 slips - one time deals - not long relapses) so I still have that fear that it could happen at any time even though in my heart I don't want it to happen. It's the dead of winter where I am and it's hard because I can't really just walk away from some situations. Anyhow...I do still have the desire to stay sober and I am doing it one day (and sticky situation) at a time...thanks 😎
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