Drunk emotions vs. Sober emotions
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 12,910
I was definitely much more emotional when drinking. Things would irritate me more easily, and I would sometimes make something small into something bigger than it needed to be (it probably didn't need to be anything at all!)
I feel a sense of calm sober, that I never felt when drinking.
I feel a sense of calm sober, that I never felt when drinking.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Cambridgeshire, UK
Posts: 74
I've been dry for nearly 4 years now and I have noticed I am almost completely without emotion. I can do happy and laugh and excited if the occasion calls for it but there seems to be something missing.
I haven't been on here for quite some time but I came on today to find a post exactly like this one. Good to know I am not the only one. Its good to be so calm about everything, but sometimes I do find myself to resemble something of a rock.
My partner of 3 and a half years sometimes says I would show more emotion and be a bit more expressive. I think it upsets her a bit because I said once I used up all my emotions when I was drinking. Obviously for her she sees this as though its not her I love, but a previous partner. Its an awkward one really.
To the OP, good job on stopping the poison. Don't let what you see in your partner deter you from your goals and perhaps approach the subject when she is sober also. In a mutual environment and not at home.
I haven't been on here for quite some time but I came on today to find a post exactly like this one. Good to know I am not the only one. Its good to be so calm about everything, but sometimes I do find myself to resemble something of a rock.
My partner of 3 and a half years sometimes says I would show more emotion and be a bit more expressive. I think it upsets her a bit because I said once I used up all my emotions when I was drinking. Obviously for her she sees this as though its not her I love, but a previous partner. Its an awkward one really.
To the OP, good job on stopping the poison. Don't let what you see in your partner deter you from your goals and perhaps approach the subject when she is sober also. In a mutual environment and not at home.
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: East of Eden
Posts: 420
Originally Posted by Gottalife 
In AA we talk about emotional sobriety. It is one of the main goals of the programme and doesn't automatically come from stopping drinking. In fact, the emotional instability can get a lot worse in sobriety unless the alcoholism is treated. Bill W wrote a pamphlet on the subject called Emotional Sobriety. He was having problems at over twenty years, and he present s his solution in this pamphlet.
A while back I saw a guy at a meeting, been sober thirty years he said, but his emotional state was exotremely bad. Dry drunk doesn't begin to describe it. He had got married just over a week beforehand, went on the honeymoon, and the wife had kicked him out before they even got home. He was howling about how hard done by he was and what an unreasonable woman his wife was. He got to talk about all this by interrupting the person sharing and ignoring please from the chair for him to wait his turn. His sad tale was so important we all had to hear it immediately. Then he left.
Thirty years without a drink, and less emotional stability than most newcomers. Just stopping drinking is not always the total solution.
A while back I saw a guy at a meeting, been sober thirty years he said, but his emotional state was exotremely bad. Dry drunk doesn't begin to describe it. He had got married just over a week beforehand, went on the honeymoon, and the wife had kicked him out before they even got home. He was howling about how hard done by he was and what an unreasonable woman his wife was. He got to talk about all this by interrupting the person sharing and ignoring please from the chair for him to wait his turn. His sad tale was so important we all had to hear it immediately. Then he left.
Thirty years without a drink, and less emotional stability than most newcomers. Just stopping drinking is not always the total solution.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: California
Posts: 1,914
Originally Posted by hibbsy23
My partner of 3 and a half years sometimes says I would show more emotion and be a bit more expressive. I think it upsets her a bit because I said once I used up all my emotions when I was drinking. Obviously for her she sees this as though its not her I love, but a previous partner. Its an awkward one really.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,095
Originally Posted by site1Q84
People liked me more when I was drinking, because I was livelier and more social,
Same here - but the only people in my life that say this are all heavy drinkers themselves.
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