romanerin2011

When I was sober for 3 years I developed a strength in me I didn't know existed. I never was tempted with alcohol, I made up my mind that I was done. Now it seems after relapsing I've lost the strength. Just on my way home from work I stopped at a gas station and walked around it debating if I should. So I played out the fantasy in my head and the ending wasn't fun. The ending involved ruining the rest of my day cause I would be coming down from it. I would then need to hope no one could smell it followed by some more self loathing as if I need anymore of that. Why would someone be tempted by something that horrible. When will I get back to the place where the thought of alcohol doesn't enter my head?

ScottFromWI

Welcome back romanerin. I think the answer to your question depends on what it is you do in order to stay sober. Do you follow any sort of organized plan or program? For me it took quite a long time to really get comfortable with the fact that I don't drink anymore, probably at least a year. It certainly got easier as I went foreward and the strong "cravings" only lasted a few weeks, but i still have to remind myself daily that I am an addict, even several years into it

SoberCAH

What has worked for me is AA and my diligent pursuit of a continual relationship with God.

I have kept up that modus operandi for sobriety for a good while, and the drinking thoughts eventually (for me it took a year or 2) receded.

But they still come back to mind from time to time, which is why I keep working the AA program and trying to learn and do God's will.

That is what has worked for me.

entropy1964

I don't know how long you've been sober since your relapse but it does take some time. For me it also takes a program.

When I first quit 13 years ago I thought if I could quit for a year that I'd somehow be cured. So I quit for a year, started again, not cured. Then came years of trying to moderate, quitting completely for many different periods of abstinence studded by relapse after relapse. I guess I was just interrupting my benders...sometimes for up to 2 years. But I wasn't working a consistent program. I always knew I was an alcoholic and in hindsight really knew in my heart that I could never drink normally. He!! I didn't want to drink normally. I wanted oblivion.

So at 97 days I am working a program. 3-4 AA meetings a week plus a volunteer meeting at a hospital. I have a sponsor. I know there's a lot more I can be doing but I'm making progress. I know that my level of serenity is in direct proportion with my acceptance that won't/can't drink again....ever. So what I'm saying is, I'll never be 'over' this. I'll never be able to not work my program. Ever. I'm ok with that. I work out everyday, I clean house, I pay my bills, I eat right, I sleep, I parent, I work my recovery. Its just part of my routine. And I hope I never forget that.

I read a post yesterday where someone was putting 'one day at a time' in the same sentence with 'white knuckling'. Its not, not even close. One day at a time is synonymous with mindfulness. Its acceptance that this moment is exactly as it should be, no matter what. That I don't need to unnaturally alter it with a substance or a controlling, fear based behavior.

Wow, sorry. It takes what it takes. One day at a time.

Dee74

It took a while for me - drinking was a huge part of my life for 20 years ...
but, as you found in the past, we really can be untroubled by thoughts of drinking...

how long? Impossible to say but you're one day closer today, right?

Congrats for not giving in

Gottalife

A few years ago I met this elderly gentleman in a detox meeting in a hospital, doing exactly the same thing. He was 6 weeks sober (42 days) and had come into AA through the same detox ward. There he was, straight into helping others.

It is a great pleasure, though not in the least bit surprising to me, that I can tell you he is still sober today, and is about the coolest old geezer I have ever met. Every year I go back to that town, and I just know he will still be there. He follows a well trodden path that has worked for millions, including me, and Frick. Why not join us?