Berrybean

I think most of us relate. It's certainly something that comes up in people's shares at AA on a regular basis. I now think that a lot of the 'social' situations that society has as common place really are quite unnatural anyway, and the expectation that we (ie As) have, that everyone (esp us) should enjoy or thrive under those conditions is pretty daft. So I avoids bars and parties, and places where it's not about getting to knowing a person properly, but more, showing off to the pack ( and actually the staff room where I work can as much seem like this as any party, so I don't go in there). Instead, I've worked on going to shared activities (recreation or as a volunteer )where the activity gives people a mutual interest or goal, and then we can get to know each other better on a 1 to 1 basis or in small groups.

I suppose, in my active alcoholism I was always trying to fight off being the person I was, and despised that shy, insecure person. If i saw photos of myself that she was peeking through, with uncertainty filled eyes, I would hate, hate, hate it. And myself. Now I realise that it's absolutely fine to be a little shy and insecure. How I acted when I was drunk and filled with confidence on the other hand ... yewwww!