ClearLight

I'm at the point where I have to try AA. So far I have not been able to stop drinking and it's affecting my job. Called in sick today.
I have found a place that has multiple meetings and the people there seem like good people.
My concern is the the sponsorship thing.
I'm really not looking forward to spilling my guts to a guy I don't know. Plus I'm worried about dumping a sponsor if I get one. Turns out I'm extremely stubborn.

So, anyway, I wonder if anybody has some feedback on that.

SunnyMe

Congratulations on your decision. AA has helped me tremendously! I hope it will work for you as well.

Sponsors--Pick someone with lots of sobriety who seems healthy and well-grounded. Ask him how he did it. Let him tell you his story. You don't have to spill all right away. It might take time for you to be comfortable, and that's ok.

Coldfusion

Hi ClearLight!

I sincerely hope you embrace the program of AA. It can keep you sober.

I agree with SunnyMe. It is crucial to work Step 1 with a sponsor as soon as possible--it will be a while before you need to spill everything, and maybe you will find a different sponsor or other person (for example, a pastor)to assist you with those Steps.

tomsteve

did ya ever spill yer guts to people you didnt know when drinking?

dox

My suggestion is to pick up the telephone and call those AA members who have offered you their phone numbers.
If they haven't yet, you might have to ask.
Talking to sober AAs, one-to-one:
That was what helped me the most during the 2 months before I managed to join up with a sponsor.
From my experience, this would be the best way to allay any fears; of living without a drink or of working the steps.

I was stubborn too.
I was scared of living without a drink.
I was worried about the steps; especially 5 and 9.
But, I was desperate enough to listen to those who had managed to stay sober for a while.
In other words : I had become teachable.
I hope you are now.

It really does work.
Life gets better and better.

Dave42001

Wise decision!! Kudos to you!!

Start going to meetings, a lot of meetings most important!! Pick a guy who has serious soberity time! Stick with the winners with years of soberity!

It works if you work it!! Wishing you the best!

tomsteve

the great thing, clearlight is the steps are in order the way they are for a reason.
no way in hell i would have opened up to someone about all of my deepest,darkest secrets right after walking into aa, which is step 5.

but there were 4 previous steps that got me wanting to do it.
pretty wild how much weight was removed from me afterwards.

Soberwolf

Great move in recovery

awuh1

I think I did the first step before I walked into my first meeting. Sounds like AA is something you have put off for a long time, so perhaps your attendance is symbolic of admitting you can't do it on our own. Been there done that.

Most people have a fear of going to AA for the first time. It's typical, in fact it's perfectly normal. Just tell people it's your first meeting so they have an good idea of where you're coming from.

Don't worry about getting a sponsor right away. Keep your eyes open. Better to wait a short while. If you're like me, the right person will become apparent within a short time.

Keep an open mind and try not to form too many opinions in the early going.

Listen, learn and allow people to help.

ClearLight

Thanks for the responses.

What if I start with a sponsor and don't feel comfortable after a while?
I'm concerned about that.

ScottFromWI

Then you just get a different sponsor. Or take a differrent track with your conversations.

I can tell you that truly getting sober will require you to do some things that make you uncomfortable though. Doesn't matter if you use AA, AVRT, SMART or any other plan. There is no "easy" way to recover that is comfortable all the time. It's a major change to our lives and requires hard work.

Dave42001

I second Scott's comments! You have to change everything! Starting with "people, places and things"!

I can only speak for myself but for me, it's a lot easier living sober than it ever was drinking! Hope you give it an honest try!!

Gottalife

One of the first things you will hear in AA is the philosophy of living one day at a time, today. Today you don't have to dump a sponsor, so there is no point is wasting energy worrying about it. 99% of the things you worry about will never happen.

I followed what Awhu1 suggested. Like him my step one was done before I got to AA. The only thing I would add is, before you even look at the sponsor thing, ask to spend some time with a recovered alcoholic who can explain how AA, the meetings, the steps, sponsorship etc all works. A couple of hours invested that way will tell you more than 50 meetings. Then you will be able to sort out a sponsor.

The other thing would be to study the first 100 or so pages of the big book, then you will know if your sponsor is guiding you in the right direction. The best defense against a bad sponsor is a thorough knowledge of the big book.

ClearLight

Thanks all for the responses. I will take them to heart.

SunnyMe

Getting sober is not always easy or comfortable work, ClearLight, but I can promise you it is worth it. And it does get easier. Hang in there, one day at a time.

Delizadee

Yep one thing at a time. You have to learn how to walk before you can run. Get comfortable with meetings. Getting to know people. Don't put the cart before the horse. And keep coming here lots and reading your big book

sg1970

I switched sponsors early on. No biggie even though I about had a stroke over it at the time. My former sponsor and I are still friends. If someone is working a good program it shouldn't be an issue.

Also you don't have to do your fifth step with your sponsor. You can do it with a priest, therapist, etc...

ClearLight

Thanks sg1970 -

I hadn't thought of that about the 5th step. I'm already seeing a therapist so that is a definite possibility,

August252015

Just a couple of things to add....you don't have to get a sponsor right away. I did not get one (my first) til day 97. Some people get one right away- I was more cautious until I felt comfortable approaching someone. She was the right person for me at first, because of her immense knowledge of the BB; I began to struggle with control issues (hers over me- longer story than to share here) and I added a second sponsor, then moved on to this second person as my only. It is ok (not super common, but known) to have two, and it is just fine to change; be polite and honest if you need to "break up" with a sponsor.

It was said above to take this one day at a time. I advise you to even go so far as to take it one MEETING at a time, in the beginning. Don't put step 2 before 1, so to speak. This is not a race- it is your life. There are things you should do- don't drink, go to meetings, and get a sponsor, and work the steps- but you absolutely do NOT have a syllabus that is telling you when and how quickly to do what. I will have 6 mos sober in 8 days and just this week did my 4th and 5th with my sponsor. My pace has worked for me as I have done a very in depth program every part of the way.

Good luck!

NoelleR

Re: two sponsors........? It may be 'ok' however AA doesn't recommend more than one sponsor (just the opposite, in fact)..................................:

"...May a newcomer have more than one sponsor? Many feel it is best for a newcomer to have only one sponsor. Choosing one sponsor helps to avoid the precarious practice of a newcomer going from
sponsor to sponsor seeking the advice he or she wants to hear..."

-------from AA's pamphlet 'Questions and Answers on Sponsorship'

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