In the dumps, after 11 months
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Originally Posted by fripfrop 
Hi RoyGBIV
I think to myself, just because I have given up drinking, doesn't excuse me from the trails of life and give me a free passage through the stuff that might have ailed me even if I had never drank. I look at it this way now, if life is like walking uphill through a soft sand beach (and I think everyones life is a struggle sometimes) drinking is like walking up that beach dragging a half-ton dead walrus behind you.
No ones problems are trival to them. I hope you start feeling better soon
I think to myself, just because I have given up drinking, doesn't excuse me from the trails of life and give me a free passage through the stuff that might have ailed me even if I had never drank. I look at it this way now, if life is like walking uphill through a soft sand beach (and I think everyones life is a struggle sometimes) drinking is like walking up that beach dragging a half-ton dead walrus behind you.
No ones problems are trival to them. I hope you start feeling better soon
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Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: northern california
Posts: 740
Roy 11 months is great but you are just starting a new way of life the Kaiser program CDRP says it takes 2 years for most of us to get a firm handle on life and recovery, have a plan for recovery and do not isolate and remember we are here for you.
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by 2012Starlight
Not being able to have a drink is dull and makes everyday look the same, life gets very bland.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI
Don't feel stupid, this is exactly why SR exists - to support you when you need it. Everyone has good and bad days, and while your problems may not seem "severe" in comparison to others, they are problems in themselves that you must deal with. And they potentially threaten your sobriety - so that's just as important to you as anything.
Lots of good advice here already, and I'd also add as an anxiety sufferer that life simply has good and bad days. Our addiction still tries to take hold sometimes on the bad days and tell us that there's a magic solution for feeling "bad"....but we all know drinking only makes it all worse.
Lots of good advice here already, and I'd also add as an anxiety sufferer that life simply has good and bad days. Our addiction still tries to take hold sometimes on the bad days and tell us that there's a magic solution for feeling "bad"....but we all know drinking only makes it all worse.
Originally Posted by 2012Starlight
This is part of what I fear in terms of continued sobriety... that eventually, my life will not be better anyway. Not being able to have a drink is dull and makes everyday look the same, life gets very bland.
heres a couple lines from the big book of AA that caught my attention early on:
you will find release from care, boredom and worry. Your imagination will be fired. Life will mean something at last. The most satisfactory years of your existence lie ahead.
although i dont like that word existence-i was doing that when i was drinking. today i am LIVING!!!
but when i read that i was a miserable wreck.
i was told early on, and i thorouhly believe it, that i can do anything i want and make any possibilities be reality. i can make my life great and have tons of fun as long as i dont drink and put in the work to make that happen.
it was MY choice to make my life better and enjoyable with lots of fun.
BUT
i had to learn how to do that. many things just didnt feel right doing without drinking.
fishing without a cooler full of beer?!?!?
working in my shop without a cooler full of beer!?!?!
going to the races without driniking!?!?!
going to concerts clean and sober!?!?!
(im going to one tonight)
it was ALL possible! i had to really work at changing my attitude and outlook, but today, just sitting out on my deck watching the birds and listening to the tigers game....
im honestly enjoying it.
it took T.I.M.E.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 189
Originally Posted by tomsteve
heres a couple lines from the big book of AA that caught my attention early on:
you will find release from care, boredom and worry. Your imagination will be fired. Life will mean something at last. The most satisfactory years of your existence lie ahead.
although i dont like that word existence-i was doing that when i was drinking. today i am LIVING!!!
but when i read that i was a miserable wreck.
i was told early on, and i thorouhly believe it, that i can do anything i want and make any possibilities be reality. i can make my life great and have tons of fun as long as i dont drink and put in the work to make that happen.
it was MY choice to make my life better and enjoyable with lots of fun.
BUT
i had to learn how to do that. many things just didnt feel right doing without drinking.
fishing without a cooler full of beer?!?!?
working in my shop without a cooler full of beer!?!?!
going to the races without driniking!?!?!
going to concerts clean and sober!?!?!
(im going to one tonight)
it was ALL possible! i had to really work at changing my attitude and outlook, but today, just sitting out on my deck watching the birds and listening to the tigers game....
im honestly enjoying it.
it took T.I.M.E.
you will find release from care, boredom and worry. Your imagination will be fired. Life will mean something at last. The most satisfactory years of your existence lie ahead.
although i dont like that word existence-i was doing that when i was drinking. today i am LIVING!!!
but when i read that i was a miserable wreck.
i was told early on, and i thorouhly believe it, that i can do anything i want and make any possibilities be reality. i can make my life great and have tons of fun as long as i dont drink and put in the work to make that happen.
it was MY choice to make my life better and enjoyable with lots of fun.
BUT
i had to learn how to do that. many things just didnt feel right doing without drinking.
fishing without a cooler full of beer?!?!?
working in my shop without a cooler full of beer!?!?!
going to the races without driniking!?!?!
going to concerts clean and sober!?!?!
(im going to one tonight)
it was ALL possible! i had to really work at changing my attitude and outlook, but today, just sitting out on my deck watching the birds and listening to the tigers game....
im honestly enjoying it.
it took T.I.M.E.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by 2012Starlight
Not that I didn't wish I could get there. My life isn't full of great activities though, drinking or sober. I drank partly because of boredom, evidently. Then again, I avoid socializing, for example. Maybe one day...
sittin in the garage all day wont make you a car.
i dont socialize much either. im an introvert. im ok with that. but i still have lots of activities i do.
but then again, i consider nappin and activity!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 2,031
You've received so much great advice here, RoyGBiv (Rainbow!!!!) that there isn't much for me to add. Great job on your sobriety and only 1 more month until a year!
I can say, that if you are on medication for depression, it may need to be looked at again, if the depression deepens or continues. So many times, the original medication stops working for you and a new med needs to be introduced. Or even a different dose?
Stay with us and keep up the good work.
I can say, that if you are on medication for depression, it may need to be looked at again, if the depression deepens or continues. So many times, the original medication stops working for you and a new med needs to be introduced. Or even a different dose?
Stay with us and keep up the good work.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by RoyGBiv
I'm tired of seeing everyone with a significant other; I'm alone, and see no chance of that changing.
M-Bob
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: fort worth tx
Posts: 1,373
Hi Roy, congratulations on 11 months. That's AWESOME!
I had some lonely times too around 11 months. The newness of sobriety had worn off and the reality of life without booze set in about that time. For me it lasted about a year. I thought to myself, is this it? Where's the euphoria? Then it dawned on me, I had to make my own euphoria. I began to indulge in life. It started out with simple things like meeting neighbors at HOA meetings. Then finely dating finding the right one. It's trial and error. It's emotional. But its okay. It's sobriety.
Don't isolate yourself. Go to the grocery store and tell the butcher what a great job he's doing. Just reach out to people. Its a start and it adds value to your sobriety.
Hang in there man. This will pass.
I had some lonely times too around 11 months. The newness of sobriety had worn off and the reality of life without booze set in about that time. For me it lasted about a year. I thought to myself, is this it? Where's the euphoria? Then it dawned on me, I had to make my own euphoria. I began to indulge in life. It started out with simple things like meeting neighbors at HOA meetings. Then finely dating finding the right one. It's trial and error. It's emotional. But its okay. It's sobriety.
Don't isolate yourself. Go to the grocery store and tell the butcher what a great job he's doing. Just reach out to people. Its a start and it adds value to your sobriety.
Hang in there man. This will pass.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Vancouver, Washington
Posts: 2
hang in there Roy!
Hey! Im right about where you are in sobriety (11 months) i hit a wall at around 9 and a half 10 months. Felt like i took two steps back... The good news is that it passed and i feel even better than before the wall. Hang in there! You got this!
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