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Could anyone have "saved" you from the road to alcoholism


Could anyone have "saved" you from the road to alcoholism

Old 09-16-2016, 07:08 AM
  # 61 (permalink)  
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Hmmmmmm, good question. I can't give a definitive answer, but I think the one I'm about to give probably won't generate a whole lot of "thanks" and that's ok.

I realize that the overwhelming "NO" to the answer on this post is generated by a sense of personal accountability that is so essential in recovery. Laying our problems at the feet of others just doesn't work when in comes to addiction. In my experience, it causes resentment in others or in the worse case scenario, makes others sick as well. Certainly doesn't fix the problem.

HOWEVER, I also view addiction has a mental health problem, with emphasis on health. And like all other health issues there is such a thing as preventative care. In my case, the preventative care that I received clearly didn't cut it, as it didn't stop me from taking that first sip.

Education is the key. What I received were warnings that alcoholism runs in my family and the cop coming into my class tell us that it would ruin our lives. Both messages clearly didn't stick.

I saw a statistic the other day that showed their was a higher correlation between childhood trauma and adult substance abuse than between obesity and type 2 diabetes. People who have had traumatic childhoods should be aware that they can never, ever drink, for reasons that their brains simply don't function like a normal, developed one.

In any case, that's my two cents, prevention through education.
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Old 09-16-2016, 07:28 AM
  # 62 (permalink)  
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No I think we have to make our own mistakes and walk our own path. People can guide us but no one can make our decisions for us.
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Old 09-16-2016, 12:41 PM
  # 63 (permalink)  
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Doubt it. I think the more I was talked to about it, the sneakier and more intense it got. I had to want to stop.
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Old 09-16-2016, 01:26 PM
  # 64 (permalink)  
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Very poignant thread.

My answer? No.
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Old 09-16-2016, 01:34 PM
  # 65 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by nomis View Post
In my case, the preventative care that I received clearly didn't cut it, as it didn't stop me from taking that first sip.
Was it the preventive care that failed you, or did your addiction override your care and your accumulated knowledge?

As is true of money, education in the form of prevention is not the answer for all problems. If addictive predispositions or tendencies are part of what it is to be human, then a preventive cure is not available. And I don't know that there's anything that can stop anyone from "taking that first sip."

I'm well into my third decade in addiction treatment and research, and I've become increasingly pessimistic around the theory that prevention would significantly curtail outright addictive behaviors, though I remain open to the possibility. That and the fact that so many of us have reported that we knew we were susceptible to addictions before we ever picked up a drink or drug, or before we engaged in compulsive, self-destructive behaviors.
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Old 09-16-2016, 01:47 PM
  # 66 (permalink)  
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No. It became apparent that those "friends" and family were concerned but couldn't stop me from drinking. Family really started making comments, but they were/are still struggling with alcohol as well so there was a terrible hypocritical issue to be addressed with them chastising me.

My friends at the time really enjoyed the drunk me, so I had to deal with that. I even had an alter ego when I abused alcohol. I had a tenancy to be quiet and reserved until the 3rd drink or so. I had to completely tear down that wall and deal with become social without the social lubricant. Ultimately I lost friends, but my family stuck by. I'm sure I gave them a scare. Serious health issues and work performance pushed me into finally getting clean.
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Old 09-16-2016, 04:21 PM
  # 67 (permalink)  
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Old 09-16-2016, 04:31 PM
  # 68 (permalink)  
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In the global scope of things no but my wife did save my life. I withdrew at work, was hospitalized, came home and the next day I was drinking again. She came home to me drunk and said, "I can't stop you from killing yourself but I will make a doctors appointment for you."

At that point even I knew the end had come. I realized my life could not continue as it was. Her little and strategic push started me on the road to recovery but I was ready because I was beat
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Old 09-16-2016, 05:53 PM
  # 69 (permalink)  
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I love the initial question and I have been thinking about it over the last 24 hours.
Knowing what to say could help so many people going down the same track.
It is a really great question. The problem is usually when people start drinking and drugging, it is happy using and can take a while to get to that ambivalent with causing a few problems stage and a while longer to the unhappy user or drinker.
I don't think we realise how much power we have even at the unhappy stage of addiction and we don't tend to believe a lot of those who tell us we can do it.....and I am still thinking about what I could say to my pre-addicted self that may have helped.
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Old 09-17-2016, 05:27 AM
  # 70 (permalink)  
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Old 09-17-2016, 10:58 AM
  # 71 (permalink)  
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Another way to restate the question is "Can anyone have saved me from who and what I am?"
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Old 09-17-2016, 03:22 PM
  # 72 (permalink)  
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A lot of people tried over the years, the few who paid enough attention to notice I was drinking more than my share and more frequently. All that did was irritate me. That's considered one of the symptoms of alcoholism, isn't it? None of that slowed me down at all. In fact, I became even more defiant.
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Old 09-17-2016, 03:45 PM
  # 73 (permalink)  
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This is a hard question as there is no way of testing it in my own life going back. I do believe that if certain complex parts of my history had unfolded differently, there might have been a lower risk for me to develop a serious addiction. It is not related to one or two people though and I doubt anyone could ever had an influence on me stronger than my addiction. There have been elements in my life though that I felt very attached though (not people in my case) that provided strong motivations to get sober and not to destroy everything, more than once. But they did not prevent me from sliding into the addiction in the first place. For me this is not about a sane view or protective good will, more one attachment being strong enough to interfere with the other, and none of them were related to people primarily and both had strong obsessive elements.
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