Could anyone have "saved" you from the road to alcoholism
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 160
Yes. My parents could have told me it ran in my family, or actually cared. Or my friends. But, sometimes life doesn't work like that. People do get left behind. If I had a support structure do I think I would have drank so much? No, not at all.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 1,462
I think I was an alcoholic before I ever took a drink. I loved it from the first drink. I also don't think anyone could change it because so many people around me tried to get me to stop. I think I had to travel the road but I choose to never drink again.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
My grandparents and some of my friends tried to warn me, but no, I don't think anyone could've 'saved' me from doing what I did. I was hell-bent on drinking wine for as long as I could manage to do so. I made sure, no matter what was going on in my life, that my wine would be there for me. I am fairly certain I was addicted from an early age. All their verbal warnings happened after I was firmly entrenched. There was nothing that could've prevented it really. Alcohol and I were a great combo until I could no longer manage. By age 27, I realized I had a legitimate problem. By age 35 I had stopped for good. It took me eight years to stop. Eight years of my life I will not get back.
I drank the alcohol, and I am the one who stopped drinking it. That's just the way it works.
I drank the alcohol, and I am the one who stopped drinking it. That's just the way it works.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Given all the work it took me to get sober, and then to build my life for the first time, I doubt that there is any power in the Universe that could have stopped me. Considering otherwise would have only distracted me from taking care of my true challenges. Just like drinking did.
now's the time
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,181
No. Towards the very, very end there is someone who could have done something. But that was really only in the last year, when I was in very desperate straits. At that point some support would have made a big difference. Ultimately I was lucky and someone else did help so when it all shakes out I'm left with only gratitude.
Prior to the really desperate stuff, I don't really know. I didn't really have a denial period, so maybe. I was so afraid to burden anyone with it that I kept it secret. If somehow someone had seen and intervened, I would have accepted help I think? But it's hard to know because ultimately I was in a place where I would literally rather die than let anyone know what was going on with me. I didn't give anyone the chance to help me until the end. Given who knew what when, there was no one who could have made a meaningful difference in the progression.
Prior to the really desperate stuff, I don't really know. I didn't really have a denial period, so maybe. I was so afraid to burden anyone with it that I kept it secret. If somehow someone had seen and intervened, I would have accepted help I think? But it's hard to know because ultimately I was in a place where I would literally rather die than let anyone know what was going on with me. I didn't give anyone the chance to help me until the end. Given who knew what when, there was no one who could have made a meaningful difference in the progression.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: illinois
Posts: 907
Yes, fantail. I was the same. If I even sensed a conversation might veer into "the conversation", I was outta there or at least subject changing.
I also was hiding my secrets at the risk of death. My wife knew I had an issue, but was shocked when I finally fizzled.
Once I surrendered, most all of my family and freinds were there for me. -i'm truly blessed. Up until that, I avoided any possible help like the plague!
I also was hiding my secrets at the risk of death. My wife knew I had an issue, but was shocked when I finally fizzled.
Once I surrendered, most all of my family and freinds were there for me. -i'm truly blessed. Up until that, I avoided any possible help like the plague!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,781
I had to find out on my own! I was living in denial in all aspects of my life! I got sick in tired of being sick and tired and went to my first AA meeting in Nov of 2012.. It took me a good two years to get my recovery dialed in and actually find "it"... I made the biggest changes in my life and gave recovery everything I had!! And in a couple days I'll have 1.5 years sober.!!Truly a miracle!!
I was never the victim! Thanks for the post, enjoyed reading all the posts!
I was never the victim! Thanks for the post, enjoyed reading all the posts!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
People have said things over the years. I just dealt with them by replacing them with friends who drank like I did. My dear, darling nanna also shared a story of her own with me whe i must have been 16 or 17 (i suppose my mum had been complaining about her wayward daughter and her drinking ). Also, looking back I think a lady at work who I respected very much as trying to encourage me to seek help - and that was when I was 18. I suspect she was AA as much of what she said rings back in my ears all those years later. I needed to spend another 20 odd years realising the truth of her words.
We have to want to get better. While we still want to drink our AV will easily convince us not to listen.
We have to want to get better. While we still want to drink our AV will easily convince us not to listen.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
People tried to help me when I was unwilling.
They (including AA) tried to help when I was willing.
Nothing worked. We collectively lacked the required power. When I began to seek a greater power, things changed.
They (including AA) tried to help when I was willing.
Nothing worked. We collectively lacked the required power. When I began to seek a greater power, things changed.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 1,130
Slipped, can I be honest with you? I feel the name you are using is a bit negative. We all slipped a few times but we're all on the road to recovery and we're focussing on the next stage, which is greater success. I just have a feeling that choosing a slightly more positive user name for yourself would remind you of what you've achieved and what you want to achieve instead of always reminding yourself what went wrong.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
No, no, and no.
I actually received a scary diagnosis from my doctor. She told me I had to stop drinking. I drank another year. Every day.
I watched the documentary "Rain in my Heart" and drank.
I googled "alcoholic death" and drank.
Friends told me they were scared for me and I drank.
My hands started trembling in the morning when I'd put in my contacts and I drank.
My palms turned red and I drank.
My face turned red and I drank.
My right side ached and I drank.
I seriously injured myself and drank the next night.
I could go on but you get the point.
Nothing could get me to stop drinking. Nothing.
Until I was more scared of drinking than the idea of never drinking again.
Until sobriety suddenly looked like the easy way out.
Until the hangovers got so bad that I thought I might pass away during them. Literally, not figuratively.
Not until I accepted with every cell in my body that I would never be a moderate drinker. Until this point, it was always thoughts of learning how to drink less. Never quitting. Never.
Nobody could have stopped me from drinking.
June 27, 2014 I woke up with the worst hangover I had ever had and decided that I would never drink alcohol again. I wanted to stop. June 26th? I never thought I would stop. Wasn't even on my radar.
If I sit here and really think about what I would have done if my family and friends sat me down for an intervention, let's say, two years before I wanted sobriety, I probably would have gone off to rehab, followed the rules, and then drank a year later in secret. That's what I would have done.
I was on vacation recently, alone, on a beach, with a bar 50 feet away, in a foreign country, palm trees and lawn chairs, at night with music playing and it really hit me how much you have to want sobriety. Nobody could have stopped me from walking up to that bar, except me.
I haven't had a drink in over two years and I don't miss it one bit.
I actually received a scary diagnosis from my doctor. She told me I had to stop drinking. I drank another year. Every day.
I watched the documentary "Rain in my Heart" and drank.
I googled "alcoholic death" and drank.
Friends told me they were scared for me and I drank.
My hands started trembling in the morning when I'd put in my contacts and I drank.
My palms turned red and I drank.
My face turned red and I drank.
My right side ached and I drank.
I seriously injured myself and drank the next night.
I could go on but you get the point.
Nothing could get me to stop drinking. Nothing.
Until I was more scared of drinking than the idea of never drinking again.
Until sobriety suddenly looked like the easy way out.
Until the hangovers got so bad that I thought I might pass away during them. Literally, not figuratively.
Not until I accepted with every cell in my body that I would never be a moderate drinker. Until this point, it was always thoughts of learning how to drink less. Never quitting. Never.
Nobody could have stopped me from drinking.
June 27, 2014 I woke up with the worst hangover I had ever had and decided that I would never drink alcohol again. I wanted to stop. June 26th? I never thought I would stop. Wasn't even on my radar.
If I sit here and really think about what I would have done if my family and friends sat me down for an intervention, let's say, two years before I wanted sobriety, I probably would have gone off to rehab, followed the rules, and then drank a year later in secret. That's what I would have done.
I was on vacation recently, alone, on a beach, with a bar 50 feet away, in a foreign country, palm trees and lawn chairs, at night with music playing and it really hit me how much you have to want sobriety. Nobody could have stopped me from walking up to that bar, except me.
I haven't had a drink in over two years and I don't miss it one bit.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 1,183
No, denial was too powerful while I was still somewhat functional, and by the time I was not very functional I was pickled. I kept the magnitude of my drinking secret by hiding bottles, etc., but even if I had been discovered I would have found some way to unload responsibility onto other people or circumstances.
Maybe long ago, long before I came to depend on alcohol and was a normie/occasional binger, I might have been able to listen to a well-put warning, who knows.
Maybe long ago, long before I came to depend on alcohol and was a normie/occasional binger, I might have been able to listen to a well-put warning, who knows.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 46
Thanks everyone for your responses. My son is turning into me in regards to his drinking behavior. It's scaring the **** out of me. It took me 30 years to muster up the strength to quit. I don't want the same for him. I've told him my story, his crappy genetics, and nagged him probably more than I should. I I know deep down there's nothing else to do except pray that he'll figure it out before 30 years of his life are wasted.
Regarding my user name. It's a derivation of my initials. Picking a user name that hasn't already been taken was a challenge, and it was alcohol related and easy to remember, so that's why I picked it. I haven't drank in 7 years. (Thanks to this site- I'm more a lurker than a poster).
Regarding my user name. It's a derivation of my initials. Picking a user name that hasn't already been taken was a challenge, and it was alcohol related and easy to remember, so that's why I picked it. I haven't drank in 7 years. (Thanks to this site- I'm more a lurker than a poster).
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
I didn't have the willingness or of
sound mind to quit on my own, so
a family intervention took place
with them doing for me what I
couldn't nor wouldn't do for myself.
To get me help I so desperately
needed at that time in my life some
25 yrs ago.
August 11, 1990 was set for my
journey in life using an effective
program of recovery to teach me
about my addiction and its affects
on me and those around me.
With an openmind I listened, absorbed
and applied what was taught to me an
have been using it in all areas of my
life so many one days sober down the
road.
My journey continues each day
passing on my own ESH experiences,
strengths and hopes to others just
beginning their journey providing
hope that many of us can and will
remain sober incorporating a program
of recovery in all our affairs to
achieve health, happiness, honesty,
Faith, hope and love for yrs to come.
sound mind to quit on my own, so
a family intervention took place
with them doing for me what I
couldn't nor wouldn't do for myself.
To get me help I so desperately
needed at that time in my life some
25 yrs ago.
August 11, 1990 was set for my
journey in life using an effective
program of recovery to teach me
about my addiction and its affects
on me and those around me.
With an openmind I listened, absorbed
and applied what was taught to me an
have been using it in all areas of my
life so many one days sober down the
road.
My journey continues each day
passing on my own ESH experiences,
strengths and hopes to others just
beginning their journey providing
hope that many of us can and will
remain sober incorporating a program
of recovery in all our affairs to
achieve health, happiness, honesty,
Faith, hope and love for yrs to come.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
when i was a kid my confirmation sponsor was an alcholic went to AA etc..
when i got sober I looked him up. Thought he'd be a good person to talk to always gave me great advice. when i googled him I found his obituary.
I'd like to think he could have helped me had we crossed paths at a diff time.
for the most part tho i was like a dog in pain in a corner you reach out to help me i was liable to bite your hand off.
when i got sober I looked him up. Thought he'd be a good person to talk to always gave me great advice. when i googled him I found his obituary.
I'd like to think he could have helped me had we crossed paths at a diff time.
for the most part tho i was like a dog in pain in a corner you reach out to help me i was liable to bite your hand off.
totfit
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Ft Collins, CO
Posts: 1,273
I think if I would have known or someone could have convinced me that there are bodily differences that prevent some people, i.e. myself, from being able to drink without significant craving and resulting issues, that it may have sunk in earlier. I recall even early on thinking, "they don't feel the way I do when they drink".
After years of experimenting and horrible issues from time to time, it is just now ingrained as an apparent thing for me and really no big deal. I am just glad it is alcohol that I am "allergic" to, cause I would hate for it to be peanuts. I love peanut butter.
I know that is taking things a bit lightly, but I found over the years that awfulizing and focusing all of my energies on "not drinking" and "recovery" only made things worse. If I just rationally look at things at their face value, "drinking just doesn't work for me", then I can move on and do a million other things that do work for me.
After years of experimenting and horrible issues from time to time, it is just now ingrained as an apparent thing for me and really no big deal. I am just glad it is alcohol that I am "allergic" to, cause I would hate for it to be peanuts. I love peanut butter.
I know that is taking things a bit lightly, but I found over the years that awfulizing and focusing all of my energies on "not drinking" and "recovery" only made things worse. If I just rationally look at things at their face value, "drinking just doesn't work for me", then I can move on and do a million other things that do work for me.
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