Why do I find it so hard?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 46
Why do I find it so hard?
Duff Mckagan , Ozzy Osbourne , Slash , the list of rock stars and other celebs who have battled alcoholism and have kicked the habit goes on and on. I watch interviews with them and I wonder , why I'm struggling so much to quit when my alcohol problem isn't even a blip on the radar compared to these guys. If they can do it , surely I shouldn't find it that hard.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,240
Have these stars COMPLETELY SURRENDERED
to the fact that doing alcohol or drugs doesn't work?
Some of our famous stars with awesome talent
may not have solid sobriety. Meaning, they have
some moments of being sober or clean but find
them falling back into old habits and slipping
back into their addiction.
To be totally successful in recovery with
long term sobriety without any relapses
or slips and have completely surrendered
to the fact that they can never drink or drug
successfully in their lives.
You cant work a recovery program half
way and expect to be true and honest
in sobriety.
I thought Aerosmith's Steven Tyler was
sober for a long time like me. But if im
not mistaken, he only has 7 or so yrs
of complete sobriety.
Anyway, to be successful in sobriety
would mean that there can be no
inkling or reservations that one can
ever drink successfully in life and that
using a program of recovery as a guideline
to help remain sober or clean each and
everyday is what will be determine that
success.
Of course this is my opinion and what
has worked for me one day at a time
to get me where I am today. Healthy,
honest and happy.
to the fact that doing alcohol or drugs doesn't work?
Some of our famous stars with awesome talent
may not have solid sobriety. Meaning, they have
some moments of being sober or clean but find
them falling back into old habits and slipping
back into their addiction.
To be totally successful in recovery with
long term sobriety without any relapses
or slips and have completely surrendered
to the fact that they can never drink or drug
successfully in their lives.
You cant work a recovery program half
way and expect to be true and honest
in sobriety.
I thought Aerosmith's Steven Tyler was
sober for a long time like me. But if im
not mistaken, he only has 7 or so yrs
of complete sobriety.
Anyway, to be successful in sobriety
would mean that there can be no
inkling or reservations that one can
ever drink successfully in life and that
using a program of recovery as a guideline
to help remain sober or clean each and
everyday is what will be determine that
success.
Of course this is my opinion and what
has worked for me one day at a time
to get me where I am today. Healthy,
honest and happy.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
yes, you read their stories, but ya don't read how they got sober.
getting sober isn't easy. early recovery in a bear.
staying sober is easy.
as Sharon said, I believe a HUGE part of that is 100% complete surrender- admitting alcohol has us whipped.
then getting into action.
half measures avail me nothing
getting sober isn't easy. early recovery in a bear.
staying sober is easy.
as Sharon said, I believe a HUGE part of that is 100% complete surrender- admitting alcohol has us whipped.
then getting into action.
half measures avail me nothing
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Northwest
Posts: 4,215
We really only know the PR version of their recoveries, yes? Look at Prince...his public story was that his religion prohibited any alcohol or drugs and he hated everything about them...sadly, his private story turned out to be quite different.
I know Ozzy has had several relapses...it would be really unlikely that the others didn't have more than a few blips in their radar, they're just not talking about them.
Comparing ourselves to others usually just makes us feel bad about ourselves.
Sending you a hug.
I know Ozzy has had several relapses...it would be really unlikely that the others didn't have more than a few blips in their radar, they're just not talking about them.
Comparing ourselves to others usually just makes us feel bad about ourselves.
Sending you a hug.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
But you are a blip on YOUR radar! Others' stories can be relatable in many ways; they can also be foreign, exotic, oversimplified (by them or in these examples perhaps PR machines and such - who knows?!)....
Self pity (and perhaps the term "learned helplessness" also applies here) is lethal to sobriety.
You have to work your own program, and learn how to live a sober life. Using others' stories - whether famous or "lay people"- is part of the community focus of AA, but not meant to be to our detriment or comparison.
What kind of program and plan are you on? If AA, meetings and work with others is a recovery plan that works so well for so many of us.
Maybe don't listen or watch the stories of the famous if they bring you down. I like to read books and listen to stories of other people for their commonalities, seeing ways we've all been in the same situations (regardless of some specifics like money, access, trappings and the like). But things that cause you greater doubt, fear and urges to compare aren't good for your sobriety- so avoid them!
Self pity (and perhaps the term "learned helplessness" also applies here) is lethal to sobriety.
You have to work your own program, and learn how to live a sober life. Using others' stories - whether famous or "lay people"- is part of the community focus of AA, but not meant to be to our detriment or comparison.
What kind of program and plan are you on? If AA, meetings and work with others is a recovery plan that works so well for so many of us.
Maybe don't listen or watch the stories of the famous if they bring you down. I like to read books and listen to stories of other people for their commonalities, seeing ways we've all been in the same situations (regardless of some specifics like money, access, trappings and the like). But things that cause you greater doubt, fear and urges to compare aren't good for your sobriety- so avoid them!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Hi Calvin
I guess if it weren't hard, for everyone, there wouldn't be so many addicts. I don't think most want to become addicts...but here we are!
Maybe go to AA or some other from of group, or read more here. I think you'll find far more similarities to other addicts than differences.
Hang in there.
I guess if it weren't hard, for everyone, there wouldn't be so many addicts. I don't think most want to become addicts...but here we are!
Maybe go to AA or some other from of group, or read more here. I think you'll find far more similarities to other addicts than differences.
Hang in there.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Surrender is an unconditional thing in this context. I will do anything except (insert word), I will go anywhere except.... these sort of conditions can really put the brakes on recovery.
I can think of one or two of the rich and famous who consider themselves too important to go through the recovery that is good enough for us ordinary folk, and they insist on doing it "their" way. The antics that we see in the press would be hilarious if they weren't so sad. And sadly a lot of them have died insisting that they get their own way right to the end.
I think it is easier in some ways for us mere mortals. It is a bit easier to get your feet on the ground when you don't have pack of syncophants feeding your ego.
I can think of one or two of the rich and famous who consider themselves too important to go through the recovery that is good enough for us ordinary folk, and they insist on doing it "their" way. The antics that we see in the press would be hilarious if they weren't so sad. And sadly a lot of them have died insisting that they get their own way right to the end.
I think it is easier in some ways for us mere mortals. It is a bit easier to get your feet on the ground when you don't have pack of syncophants feeding your ego.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
A drinking problem is a drinking problem don't compare were all different, focus on getting you better get a plan going, think about what your prepared to do to stay sober... il tell you this for nothing - your going to need support I did everyone does don't isolate yourself with it there are recovery meetings with choice like AA or Smart recovery
At the end of the day it comes down on not drinking today & knowing you can get through a day sober and that is proof for the next day that you can but like I said get support there are hundreds of members here msg someone who you think you can relate to keep posting threads of you getting through the day & always ask questions if you loads then ask loads there is kind helpful people here & at recovery meetings that will help
my advice would be go to a recovery meeting or 2 don't say zilch nothing is expected of you and see if you can relate if not try another one there are choices
Stick around and your life will get better with no alcohol
At the end of the day it comes down on not drinking today & knowing you can get through a day sober and that is proof for the next day that you can but like I said get support there are hundreds of members here msg someone who you think you can relate to keep posting threads of you getting through the day & always ask questions if you loads then ask loads there is kind helpful people here & at recovery meetings that will help
my advice would be go to a recovery meeting or 2 don't say zilch nothing is expected of you and see if you can relate if not try another one there are choices
Stick around and your life will get better with no alcohol
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
One more thing- I have a book suggestion for you. Christopher Kennedy Lawford's Moments of Clarity.
It contains stories - written in their own voices, by them- of both regular and famous folks. Some of the stories might surprise you and all are brutally honest. I thought it was a great "equalizer" - us addicts and alcoholics have a lot more similarities and differences!
It contains stories - written in their own voices, by them- of both regular and famous folks. Some of the stories might surprise you and all are brutally honest. I thought it was a great "equalizer" - us addicts and alcoholics have a lot more similarities and differences!
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Calvin,
I googled famous non drinkers. For whatever reason, I figure if they can do it...
The AA method of staying clean is not for everyone. It is there for us though. Friends that know our path. It gets to weird sometimes for me. I believe in God, and I have surrendered my addiction to him. I have been to about 7 meetings. F2f is important for accounting.
Sounds like you are still drinking.
Until you get through that first month, you are physically and mentally trapped.
After a month clean, it is all mental.
Booze fries the brain. It is highly addictive.
Quick story...
My wife drank 2 weak white russians thurs. It was the most booze i have ever seen her drink in a night. Friday at breakfast, she was spasing out about so much bs. She never acts like that.
It was the booze. It causes brain damage.
The reason why you can't quiet easily is because booze is highly addictive.
When you crave, you have to treat yourself like an addict. Eat candy, drink sugary things. It tricks the brain.
Get clean. Change your life a bit. Stay clean.
I googled famous non drinkers. For whatever reason, I figure if they can do it...
The AA method of staying clean is not for everyone. It is there for us though. Friends that know our path. It gets to weird sometimes for me. I believe in God, and I have surrendered my addiction to him. I have been to about 7 meetings. F2f is important for accounting.
Sounds like you are still drinking.
Until you get through that first month, you are physically and mentally trapped.
After a month clean, it is all mental.
Booze fries the brain. It is highly addictive.
Quick story...
My wife drank 2 weak white russians thurs. It was the most booze i have ever seen her drink in a night. Friday at breakfast, she was spasing out about so much bs. She never acts like that.
It was the booze. It causes brain damage.
The reason why you can't quiet easily is because booze is highly addictive.
When you crave, you have to treat yourself like an addict. Eat candy, drink sugary things. It tricks the brain.
Get clean. Change your life a bit. Stay clean.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by calvin86 
Just so people know. I'm not on any plan. I'm trying to do this myself.
isn't doing it yourself how ya ended up here?
maybe that's why its so hard for ya?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 46
Ive managed to go a month before. Felt brilliant and really pleased. Then for no reason other than I had a quick chat with a drinking buddy , I was down the pub that evening and haven't stayed sober for more than a week since then. This was late last year. So yeah , maybe a plan would help.
now's the time
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,181
Make a battle plan. It sounds easy when those guys talk about it because it gets easier with time. Like with anything, right? Learning to walk was pretty hard but we're pretty good at it now (even if it makes us tired or sore sometimes). I struggled harder with alcohol than with anything. It almost killed me, like 11 months ago. Now it's become much more a part of my life to be sober, and I'm sure I'd make it sound easy if someone interviewed me. If you can get yourself some good time under your belt, the practice will do you good.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
Originally Posted by calvin86
Duff Mckagan , Ozzy Osbourne , Slash , the list of rock stars and other celebs who have battled alcoholism and have kicked the habit goes on and on. I watch interviews with them and I wonder , why I'm struggling so much to quit when my alcohol problem isn't even a blip on the radar compared to these guys. If they can do it , surely I shouldn't find it that hard.
People have said I make it look easy...I never aim to do that cos it really wasn't....it is achievable tho - with hard work dedication and a willingness to change.
The really important thing is what are you going to do about your problem - and how can we help?
D
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Of course you can quit drinking. Permanently and unconditionally. And it will be YOUR way. How could it be otherwise?
Make that plan about continuing to use alcohol. And that means after that chat with an old drinking buddy. After a tragedy or personal loss. After a brilliant triumph. Make that plan about ever drinking again. Think it through carefully because this could well be your last shot at this.
Then do this. And do it your way.
Make that plan about continuing to use alcohol. And that means after that chat with an old drinking buddy. After a tragedy or personal loss. After a brilliant triumph. Make that plan about ever drinking again. Think it through carefully because this could well be your last shot at this.
Then do this. And do it your way.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by calvin86
Duff Mckagan , Ozzy Osbourne , Slash , the list of rock stars and other celebs who have battled alcoholism and have kicked the habit goes on and on. I watch interviews with them and I wonder , why I'm struggling so much to quit when my alcohol problem isn't even a blip on the radar compared to these guys. If they can do it , surely I shouldn't find it that hard.
Sure you want to quit. So did I. Many times. However, I just couldn't imagine a life without alcohol.
In AA their are a lot of platitudes and clichés. "Sick and tired of being sick and tired" is the one which best fit my situation.
"Alcohol stopped working" is another. Hard to explain except to say alcohol just wasn't working anymore.
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