It's in the refrigerator
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Chicago
Posts: 5,450
Hey there sleepie. So, I don't know if we've talked about this, but I am actor who also works a corporate day job because, well, I am never going to make a living doing the thing I actually love. It is not a bad job, in fact I get to practice a lot of storytelling in what I do every day so I am able to work similar brain centers to my theatre work and that keeps me sane.
Except...my job is with a giant corporation, and it's populated by exactly the kind of people you probably think it is. For nine years I have endured conversations about my "hobby" that, while occasionally not so awful, have ranged from belittling to merely condescending, and never once has anyone refrained from asking me about "the money". "What do you make doing that kind of thing?", "I suppose the money there isn't so good," etc. sigh.
What I have learned and come to accept is that none of those insulting attitudes or questions are about ME. THEY don't get it. They aren't wired to understand how artists do what we do because we literally can't not do it. They are also, sadly, not wired to create something beautiful and know the utter joy that is inherent to practicing a craft that they cannot understand is every bit as necessary to the human race as food and shelter.
I find it unfortunate...but for THEM, not for me.
The jerk who made that crack to you, frankly, sounds like an insecure knob who is deeply jealous of others who can make something freaking beautiful out of nothing but their own spirit. You're an artist, sleepie -- even if you might not have been practicing your craft lately? Still an artist. No one can ever take that away from you.
Except...my job is with a giant corporation, and it's populated by exactly the kind of people you probably think it is. For nine years I have endured conversations about my "hobby" that, while occasionally not so awful, have ranged from belittling to merely condescending, and never once has anyone refrained from asking me about "the money". "What do you make doing that kind of thing?", "I suppose the money there isn't so good," etc. sigh.
What I have learned and come to accept is that none of those insulting attitudes or questions are about ME. THEY don't get it. They aren't wired to understand how artists do what we do because we literally can't not do it. They are also, sadly, not wired to create something beautiful and know the utter joy that is inherent to practicing a craft that they cannot understand is every bit as necessary to the human race as food and shelter.
I find it unfortunate...but for THEM, not for me.
The jerk who made that crack to you, frankly, sounds like an insecure knob who is deeply jealous of others who can make something freaking beautiful out of nothing but their own spirit. You're an artist, sleepie -- even if you might not have been practicing your craft lately? Still an artist. No one can ever take that away from you.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
". I am not academic and will never be... "
ya know one common trait with your posts is you seem to know what you are and your not trying to fight it and be something your not thats commendable. I'm not academic either. I'm not alot of things but I've tried to be many times and driven myself nuts.
The benadryl thing i had a chuckle. I took that a few times trying to calm down. never worked for me tho lol sometimes even backfired. but its not benzos or beers so kudos!
if someone spoke to me like that i'd done with that person
. thats just how i work. Clearly this person is not on the same page as you and lacks any understanding of who sleepie is and with a comment like that clearly doesnt even care. so yeah rather then continue one associating with said person and setting myself up for misery again and a gain i'd cut it off. OR if i couldnt cut it off I'd smile and nod and become more and more distant. I'd be polite but i woudlnt have much to say. Tho cutting it off is more ideal.
if it where me? i'd now be crawling back into my little isolation bubble and maken some pictures. Thats just me. When I isolate i'm able to simplyfy my thoughts and get back down to basics of what makes me happy then i can emerge with a smile again.
hang in there sleepie. battling my own demons too reading your posts i think yep "i know" i know this been there *sigh* life can really suck sometimes but thats just how it is i guess.
ya know one common trait with your posts is you seem to know what you are and your not trying to fight it and be something your not thats commendable. I'm not academic either. I'm not alot of things but I've tried to be many times and driven myself nuts.
The benadryl thing i had a chuckle. I took that a few times trying to calm down. never worked for me tho lol sometimes even backfired. but its not benzos or beers so kudos!
if someone spoke to me like that i'd done with that person
. thats just how i work. Clearly this person is not on the same page as you and lacks any understanding of who sleepie is and with a comment like that clearly doesnt even care. so yeah rather then continue one associating with said person and setting myself up for misery again and a gain i'd cut it off. OR if i couldnt cut it off I'd smile and nod and become more and more distant. I'd be polite but i woudlnt have much to say. Tho cutting it off is more ideal. if it where me? i'd now be crawling back into my little isolation bubble and maken some pictures. Thats just me. When I isolate i'm able to simplyfy my thoughts and get back down to basics of what makes me happy then i can emerge with a smile again.
hang in there sleepie. battling my own demons too reading your posts i think yep "i know" i know this been there *sigh* life can really suck sometimes but thats just how it is i guess.
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 3,062
I work in the helping field as I bowed out of the banking world; I was more concerned about why people couldn't make their loan payments then the fact that they didn't make their payment....a social worker was born! Some life work we choose doesn't make us money rich but it does make us rich in other ways....you are rich in these other ways like me
The mural was done in love for the child not that dragon I bet
Get that crap out of your fridge and keep rock on today with the ice coffee....let us know how you're doing because we care about you!
The mural was done in love for the child not that dragon I bet
Get that crap out of your fridge and keep rock on today with the ice coffee....let us know how you're doing because we care about you!
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 690
sleepie! So sorry that happened to you ...but you know what....you are extremely talented and I imagine that lady was jealous -so that was her way of making herself feel superior...at your expense! Don't let her win by letting her ignorant comment get you down.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
Ha thanks zjw!
Although, years ago I tried a number of times to "get my s*** together" by those "other people" standards... the normies as I call them... and I was politely rejected, bullied and ostracized. So no, no schooling for me, I'll stay in my place like a good little low rung.
And the curse of being me is... I really could go ahead and console myself by saying, "Well, she just doesn't get it, she's a bore, she's unenlightened, she's basic". But no, sleepie has to sit here thinking that she is well travelled, accomplished, a wonderful mother, etc. and just wonder, "Why?". Why would she say that when she has everything and I have pretty much nothing? What does she have to gain by making me feel sh***y about my life? And why especially when I have given the very thing she is criticizing, freely and with love?
I will never understand.
Although, years ago I tried a number of times to "get my s*** together" by those "other people" standards... the normies as I call them... and I was politely rejected, bullied and ostracized. So no, no schooling for me, I'll stay in my place like a good little low rung.
And the curse of being me is... I really could go ahead and console myself by saying, "Well, she just doesn't get it, she's a bore, she's unenlightened, she's basic". But no, sleepie has to sit here thinking that she is well travelled, accomplished, a wonderful mother, etc. and just wonder, "Why?". Why would she say that when she has everything and I have pretty much nothing? What does she have to gain by making me feel sh***y about my life? And why especially when I have given the very thing she is criticizing, freely and with love?
I will never understand.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
sparkle kitty i get the same treatment about some of my hobbies. I mention i wanna be a farmer and people think i'm insane its like i just told them i wanna live in poverty and be dirt poor and be stooopid. For how will i pay my bills and support my family on such a crap job etc.. I must be insane shoveling chicken poo is better then your day job? are you nuts? Nevermind the many really wealthy farmers. Nevermind its not really about the money but about doing what i love. People will say to me oh just keep doing what your doing you got a good thing going it pays your bills etc... in reference to my coporate job. and its like yeah it does but i'm not HAPPY with it. Oh but being a farmer will have problems too you'll never be happy. oh absolutly it'll have problems too iv'e had many jobs that had problems that i was HAPPY doing tho. this job however is not one of them.
then you get treated like oh thats a nice hobby lol and in my case talked to like i have 6 toes no teeth and am some hillbilly po dunk dum dum farmer or something becuase ya know farming takes no brains and there all stupid ::Facepalm::
then you get treated like oh thats a nice hobby lol and in my case talked to like i have 6 toes no teeth and am some hillbilly po dunk dum dum farmer or something becuase ya know farming takes no brains and there all stupid ::Facepalm::
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
she probably doesnt even realize. I heard a quote in the movie into the wild by chris's sister. "through his arrogance he is oblivious to the pain he causes" that sums her up i bet.
Yeah I became a computer programmer so i could make something of myself because its what i was told I should do. I was pushed to find a direction I found one but drove myself nuts with it all these years and drank to numb it all etc.. now that i'm sober i look at my carreer and i'm like my god I chose this? and I think back to when i was a kid working in the family business in the office and how i thoguth no wa in hell will i ever grow up and do office work for a living I despised it then I had so much trouble being productive back then HATED IT. and i new then what i'm figureing out now!!
I've gotten rather good tho at allowing people to think i'm stupid. Its great they think i'm stupid and stop talking to me and then i dont have to hear it from them problem kinda solves itself before it ever becomes one .
I spoke to an old guy down the street. he said to me one day how we always heard we should work smart not hard get a desk job rather then using a pick and a shovel. He said he thinks that the folks with the desk jobs have it worse they got so much nonsesne going on through there heads it drives them nuts he said many of them would be better off with a pick and a shovel instead it would be easier. Then went on to say that the more we think we know the less we really do know. I always gain a lot of wisdom from this old guy.
Yeah I became a computer programmer so i could make something of myself because its what i was told I should do. I was pushed to find a direction I found one but drove myself nuts with it all these years and drank to numb it all etc.. now that i'm sober i look at my carreer and i'm like my god I chose this? and I think back to when i was a kid working in the family business in the office and how i thoguth no wa in hell will i ever grow up and do office work for a living I despised it then I had so much trouble being productive back then HATED IT. and i new then what i'm figureing out now!!
I've gotten rather good tho at allowing people to think i'm stupid. Its great they think i'm stupid and stop talking to me and then i dont have to hear it from them
problem kinda solves itself before it ever becomes one .I spoke to an old guy down the street. he said to me one day how we always heard we should work smart not hard get a desk job rather then using a pick and a shovel. He said he thinks that the folks with the desk jobs have it worse they got so much nonsesne going on through there heads it drives them nuts he said many of them would be better off with a pick and a shovel instead it would be easier. Then went on to say that the more we think we know the less we really do know. I always gain a lot of wisdom from this old guy.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
LOL Ardy! And now I have the Ghostbusters theme in my head...
Well zjw I really can relate a lot to what you said, I knew years ago I was not cut out for office work but needed the benefits and $ to pay off my student loans... didn't know what else to do.
As for farming, I have a great respect for farmers... they do the real work. Keep us fed. Kinda crucial?
Well zjw I really can relate a lot to what you said, I knew years ago I was not cut out for office work but needed the benefits and $ to pay off my student loans... didn't know what else to do.
As for farming, I have a great respect for farmers... they do the real work. Keep us fed. Kinda crucial?
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by sleepie 
OK NOW
I am finally kind of ready to say something.
I was judged yet again by someone in a cruel manner meant to publicly humiliate me and I am furious and I shouldn't have to say this but I have every right to be.
BF has a degree in a field that people respect. I have one in art. WE ALL HAVE DIFFERENT TALENTS. Mine are not academic and so excuse me for doing what I do and what I know.
SO anyway. We are all hanging out and bf was talking about his old school and I said well, where I went it was much better for art. And that is true.
Then mutual acquaintance looks at me and goes with a huge smirk "And how's that workin' out for ya?" Because she makes a TON of money and I am poor, very poor. Because unfortunately, my brain was not gifted in the things that are deemed pay worthy. I am an artist. Meanwhile this b**** has MY artwork in her child's room- huge murals I painted for free.
What does she do? She works a corporate job, and society applauds her. What do I do? Make the world prettier and more interesting, and some people happier. But I am s***.
Because- MONEY MONEY MONEY and things and cars and homes and more things and the BEST things that money can buy is what's important here folks. What... contributing to culture and engaging in a meaningful endeavor that actually brings people happiness? USELESS, people, USELESS.
Yes my life is a fail. I was not born with any talents that are money making. I have no money and I have no family... I am not academic and will never be...
Art making was the only thing left that made me feel worth anything at all, anything.
Slapped in the face by one that I have given my art, my very heart and soul... the only thing I possess to give- away to.
A little more of my heart died off today.
I am finally kind of ready to say something.
I was judged yet again by someone in a cruel manner meant to publicly humiliate me and I am furious and I shouldn't have to say this but I have every right to be.
BF has a degree in a field that people respect. I have one in art. WE ALL HAVE DIFFERENT TALENTS. Mine are not academic and so excuse me for doing what I do and what I know.
SO anyway. We are all hanging out and bf was talking about his old school and I said well, where I went it was much better for art. And that is true.
Then mutual acquaintance looks at me and goes with a huge smirk "And how's that workin' out for ya?" Because she makes a TON of money and I am poor, very poor. Because unfortunately, my brain was not gifted in the things that are deemed pay worthy. I am an artist. Meanwhile this b**** has MY artwork in her child's room- huge murals I painted for free.
What does she do? She works a corporate job, and society applauds her. What do I do? Make the world prettier and more interesting, and some people happier. But I am s***.
Because- MONEY MONEY MONEY and things and cars and homes and more things and the BEST things that money can buy is what's important here folks. What... contributing to culture and engaging in a meaningful endeavor that actually brings people happiness? USELESS, people, USELESS.
Yes my life is a fail. I was not born with any talents that are money making. I have no money and I have no family... I am not academic and will never be...
Art making was the only thing left that made me feel worth anything at all, anything.
Slapped in the face by one that I have given my art, my very heart and soul... the only thing I possess to give- away to.
A little more of my heart died off today.
Stay away.
Whenever possible I avoid toxic people. I've got enough going on without having to deal with put-downs be they subtle or not.
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: milwaukee wi
Posts: 3,574
zjw....010011010001111 and a ton of hugs. for I know you are smart and clever and wise.. you need to dig a garden plant and watch life grow .. it will make what you have to do in an office better. not easier just better.. and volunteer get out there and volunteer. if not for this forum and my volunteering for stuff this job would drive me to drink again.. no kidding... love my garden ...
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
yeah idealy i'd like to be a farmer. But i'd settle for working as a gas station clerk in an independantly owned placed or cashier in a grcoery store or something. I know working retail can totally suck. i've had my fair share of awful customers. but i made many happy and like with the gas station i'd fix peoples flat tires and such and it always made me feel good that wasnt part of my job descritpion either just something nice i'd do for folks that came in. The station i worked at i had a great boss and he was my best man when i got married we barely speak anymore but I worked at that place for years and went back a few times after that even and always enjoyed it.
The only issue i have with the retail jobs is the pay. I dont mind not making enough but i have a wife and kids to feed i could never make it on that money. I woudlnt mind owning the place but there again that takes money.
I thought the ohter day while doing my yard work. I"ll never do the job that makes me happy because I dont have the money to get into it!
The only issue i have with the retail jobs is the pay. I dont mind not making enough but i have a wife and kids to feed i could never make it on that money. I woudlnt mind owning the place but there again that takes money.
I thought the ohter day while doing my yard work. I"ll never do the job that makes me happy because I dont have the money to get into it!
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