sammysmith

I am a professional person working and living in London and yes, I have an alcohol problem 👏 Yes, I know I am not "normal", but who is? I am in a professional job, carry myself as a lady, and do not outwardly show I have a problem. Yet when it comes to engaging in a polite conversation to merely ask about alcohol intervention, the staff at a certain so called "helpful" charity act so "superior" you would've thought they sat on a golden throne and wore a crown. They were so rude, their tone, their attitude, their address. Just who do they think they are. I might have an alcohol problem, but at least I don't have an attitude problem 😡😡

doggonecarl

You say "they." So the entire staff was rude? Or the one representative from the charity you spoke to was rude?

Actually, it doesn't matter. Resentments are recovery killers and a big reason why relapses happen. It doesn't help that in early recovery our nerves are frayed and we are probably over sensitive. But railing against the people who could help you is counter productive.

ScottFromWI

There are rude and kind people in all walks of life - doctors, lawyers, etc. You may have run into some rude ones but it's also possible that they were just having a bad day too.

I'd tend to agree with Carl on this - resentment hurt no one except those who hold them.

Soberwolf

Hi Samnmysmith sorry you spoke to someone who wasn't polite don't let them get to you early sobriety is hard enough

You will always have us to lean on for support

Try to let it go thier not worth it

Do you read Sammy ?

Berrybean

I hope it's not going to stop you going back to access any help they can arrange. Sometimes our AV is pretty good at chucking reasons at us for turning our back on help that is available. And will even speak politely and reverently to us if it feels that's what will work.

I should imagine anyone who deals with alcoholics every day can see past how someone carries themselves and their outward gloss. So much that it's possibly even invisible to them. On a really challenging day they may well not have time to engage in any kind of conversation other than a very basic exchange of facts. Unless it was an personal insult, or a definite effort to offend, please try not to take it as a personal slight. As someone else said, forming resentments about this kind of stuff can be very damaging to us.

Do you go to AA? Sometimes those meetings can be a great way to find out more information about other services available in your area.

entropy1964

Try not to take things too personally out there. If a few people were rude, that's not your problem, its theirs. If it was AA you went to, try other meetings.

Gottalife

I have found that often the faults I perceive in others are the ones I have myself. We have a saying, when I point the finger, there are three pointing right back at me. Seems to be part of the alcoholic character, something that needs to be fixed in order to live happily in this world.

sugarbear1

Most often it's my perception that taints things.........in my experience, anyway.

FLCamper

I'm a pretty patient, positive person. I try to give others the benefit of the doubt when they say some time that could be perceived as rude. And, I don't look for problems.

But, there are some people in the wrong job and they have rude and abrasive personalities.

There are others who will make snarky comments because they can get away with it when they're in a certain position - it makes them feel powerful.

Unfortunately, you have to deal with them. I just pity them and minimize my interaction with them. Don't let them drag you down to your level.

Mountainmanbob

I have seen that before myself in the treatment world. They seem to have forgotten -- a Big EGO is a problem. And that's the first thing they tell others.
Bob

teatreeoil007

Some people get on power trips...

NoelleR

I always liked the saying, "You spot 'em; you got 'em."

(o:

aNewEternity

yes, they're always right, because if you have a criticism it gets chalked up to "Anger" or "Denial" or "your Disease".

the same things make me mad too, and I have strong opinions on how many aspects of Treatment in the USA and elsewhere are actively harmful.

if you're stuck in a program you don't like try to humor it to take the sting away. you don't have anything to prove. take care of yourself as your top priority.

you can also focus on trying to make friends within the program, relationships that hopefully will be mutually beneficial.

trachemys

In your professional life, do you put up with that attitude from others?

You admit you know you are an alcoholic. You admit you want help.

Don't take any crap from anyone. Your recovery is yours.

Best to ya!

uncorked

Time to find more compassionate "help." That kind of attitude doesn't belong in any kind of recovery organization. It's hard to enough to actively seek out support without being talked down to. It took me a while to find a program that resonated with me. I knew it had to be positive, affirming and focused on now rather than the past. If you live in London, there has to be other types of support groups than the one you spoke of. Find one that speaks to you.

Mountainmanbob

Maybe they are thinking Tuff Love.
But, there is a time and place for that.

I was so torn up that I would have accepted most any type of help.

Mountainmanbob

Centered3

Perhaps you can try to look at it from another perspective.

Maybe "superior" isn't the right word.

Maybe it's more that they are strict or no-******** type people who know that alcoholism and addiction is a deadly disease.

They know that its a disease that will tell you that you don't have a disease, it's not really that bad, you can handle it, etc.

Maybe they're attitude is what they need to use to try to save your life and cut through the b.s. of alcoholism and addiction, that they run into 8 hours a day, all week long. They know what works in recovery, and they know that if they bend the rules to please the alcoholic mind, you won't get well.

I used to hate people like that, too. I wanted to work my recovery MY way. Cafeteria style. I didn't recover until I shut up and did what I was told by the people who knew what I needed to do to get well.

My alcoholic mind is sick. A sick mind cannot heal a sick mind. I needed a healthy mind, not my own, to tell me what I needed to do to get well and recover.

Let go of the fact that you are a professional lady, etc etc. Every alcoholic no matter if they are homeless or part of the rich and famous need to be treated exactly the same way in order to recover. They are talking to your disease, not to you personally. You're not at a social event making idle chit chat and having polite conversations. You're at a facility dealing with a deadly disease. They're trying to save your life.

Just my thoughts. Take what you like and leave the rest.

Gottalife

The puzzle for me, and maybe them, was why does a "highly successful professional" need to go to a charitable treatment centre?

zjw

i get it. it would annoy me being treated as "less then" when i'm at the very place i should be trying to get some help. I guess you gotta just let it roll off your back tho this happens in all areas of life.

all easier said then done. I"ve engaged many people tho since sobering up and walked away thinking geeze whats up with that guy rolling my eyes adn just moving on from it. Back when i drank i'd be pissed off about it for days and weeks on end.

heck even now i do still complain about a few choice encounters I"ve had over the years I think thats normal tho.

KAD

At this point, I'm more concerned that the OP hasn't been active on SR since 5/6.