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Didn't read the whole thread yet but...

I like your idea of trying to run the kitchen, or at least staying busy. That'll help keep your mind off of it.

Hang out with the kids and do activities with them. For me it's easier to avoid when I'm hanging with kids. No adults drinking around me and I get more enjoyment around them when sober.

I wouldn't make any big proclamations about it. Just say, "I'm good" whenever offered alcohol. Make sure there is a plethora of non-alcoholic drinks around and chug those. Toast with those too. If your glass is full with something else it's easier to avoid filling it with alcohol.

Finally, remember why you're doing this and visualize the outcome the next day when you wake up feeling much better physically and about yourself mentally. (Or you can remind yourself how crappy you're going to feel if you fall off the wagon- that works for me sometimes too.)

Good luck, I'm sure you're going to be fine.

sg1970

To Fatbat and Bettalife,

When you make it through this holiday season without a drink you will be walking on air. There is no feeling like your first set of holidays where you were able to be present for your family. Especially kids. Sober, coherent days without hangovers. Experiences that the holidays are meant for instead of focusing on getting drunk.

And next year, with a good year of recovery under your belt, you will hopefully be free of the obsession with alcohol. Free to not have to worry like you are now. You will go into the holiday season with confidence and drinking will be the last of your worries. You will be living a real life.

I want you both to remember this and take drinking off the table as an option right now. Go into the next couple of weeks with the attitude that I will NOT drink no matter what and I will do whatever I need to do to make that happen. Double down on whatever program you have and go into this with the attitude that you are going to enjoy it.

Best wishes.

Fabat50

Thanks for this SG. This is just what I need to hear.

I am now feeling very optimistic and determined and have a clear action plan which revolves around spending tons of quality time with all the children, doing lots of dog walking at strategic points during the week (my niece has a frisky new puppy so I'll offer to wear him out!) having gallons of my fav soft drink on hand, being in charge of the kitchen to keep me busy on Christmas day, logging on here regularly, making sure I eat properly and go to bed early, meditate a lot.

Thanks to all for your help.

zjw

lot of good different points here hopefully you wont be able to trick yourself into drinking.

its true tho make it through that first set of holidays is a huge win.

tomsteve

fabat, im glad ya have a concern about the time with family. having to travel to a different country to see them this early seems like it would be both exciting(newly sober and experiencing the holidays with loved ones) and frightening(lots of alcohol and the fear of drinking).
heres something from the big book of aa that came to mind reading what your lookin at coming up:
So our rule is not to avoid a place where there is drinking, if we have a legitimate reason for being there.
To a person who has had experience with an alcoholic, this may seem like tempting Providence, but it isn't.
You will note that we made an important qualification. Therefore, ask yourself on each occasion, "Have I any good social, business, or personal reason for going to this place? Or am I expecting to steal a little vicarious pleasure from the atmosphere of suchplaces?" If you answer these questions satisfactorily, you need have no apprehension. Go or stay away, whichever seems best. But be sure you are on solid spiritual ground before you start and that your motive in going is thoroughly good. Do not think of what you will get out of the occasion. Think of what you can bring to it.But if you are shaky, you had better work with another alcoholic instead!

Why sit with a long face in places where there is drinking, sighing about the good old days. If it is a happy occasion, try to increase the pleasure of those there; if a business occasion, go and attend to your business enthusiastically. If you are with a person who wants to eat in a bar, by all means go along. Let your friends know they are not to change their habits on your account. At a proper time and place explain to all your friends why alcohol disagrees with you. If you do this thoroughly, few people will ask you to drink. While you were drinking, you were withdrawing from life little by little. Now you are getting back into the social life of this world. Don't start to withdraw again just because your friends drink liquor.

for me i have 3 qualifications for going somewhere alcohol is:
the right motive
be in fit spiritual condition
have an escape route, which is very important.

dont be afraid,if tempted to take a walk.

Pondlady

I attended my first big family event about three months into my sobriety. I confided in my father that I was no longer drinking and why...he understood, as he'd quit drinking many years ago. It was a nice support to look across the room and see him give me a loving smile, or a nod of encouragement. Is there a family member you could confide in, for some extra support?

fantail

TomSteve, thanks for posting that quote. I'm so surprised! In the Game of Telephone, I often get wrong impressions about the ideas of AA. Maybe it's finally time to read the thing myself.

Gottalife

Fantail, that's such a classic Brilliant! There is a saying, if you want to hide something from an alcoholic, put it in the big book.

tomsteve

another part of the big book:

We are careful never to show intolerance or hatred of drinking as an institution. Experience shows that such an attitude is not helpful to anyone. Every new alcoholic looks for this spirit among us and is immensely relieved when he finds we are not witch burners. A spirit of intolerance might repel alcoholics whose lives could have been saved, had it not been for such stupidity. We would not even do the cause of temperate drinking any good, for not one drinker in a thousand likes to be told anything about alcohol by one who hates it.

Ken33xx

Play the tape out...

You start off the morning off with champagne/ juice, a couple of wine coolers for lunch, liquor coffee for the afternoon.... I can see it now and I`m getting thirsty just typing this.

Then I think....

Well, I`m going to be good and drunk by dinner and by time the movie starts I`ll have moved along to a nice bottle of whiskey and by 11 who knows.

Will some kind of argument develop? Will I remember what I said? How trashed will I feel the next morning? What will the kids think.

On second thought maybe I`ll just stick with juice and coffee this holiday