alphaomega

I was thisclose this weekend. Closer than I have ever been. Hubs talked me out of it. We are trying to get on a health kick. Together. As empty nesters. So he said, try for one more month. But I feel you buddy. I really feel you.

I just wanted to offer my support and let you know, we understand.

Just keep trying.

XO AO

sleepie

Thanks alpha! That's one thing, I can't quite have my bf for support, he is ok with me drinking every now and then. He never really says anything supportive, he doesn't notice that it's been months or anything.

sleepie

Ok guys just fyi, I don't like putting people on "ignore" but when I see "You're negative" this and that?

That's precisely when I stop reading. 'K. Thanks.

Anyway... returned from 3 hours dental work. Waiting for numbness to wear off, even my nose is numb!

Rose same here... all the nice things we could have had!

Hawkeye13

when it wears off, I think you really, really deserve some quality ice cream

sleepie

Hawkeye Ben & Jerry's awaits.

fishface

I've been lurking recently but I do find you refreshing Sleepie. I think part of it is we started this last sober journey around the same time so I related to your journey.

But I'm glad you are honest. I don't come here to read "rah rah life is great. I can do it so can you". Ideally that is what I hope to eventually achieve but it doesn't necessarily match up with what I may be experiencing from time to time.

I'm glad for you that it seems that you learned from the night that it's just not that interesting anymore. Seeing a slip from a overall sober frame of mind is good because if it was just one day in the string of hundreds of drinking days, you would really have a hard time evaluating it.

I for one am glad to see the real you. If someone else gives you a hard time because you somehow offend them by not being positive, screw em. It's not your job to make them feel better. It's your job to make yourself feel better so I'm on your side Sleepie

Overall I hope you find in life what you are looking for.

Quirky

I second the above post.
....THREE CHEERS FOR OUR SLEEPIE!!

sleepie

thank you, you guys and hello too it's really good to see you

Tooshabby

Hi fishface :-)

I second rtdb's round of cheers for Sleepie!

sleepie

Thanks guys.
3 hours of dental work today and I'm hurting but not even taking an advil.

Tooshabby

3 hours?!!! Sheesh!!!

zjw

tough as nails you are!

sometimes turmeric or ginger root helps for that sorta thing if you decide to try the natural remedy route.

sleepie

I have been so bad eating New York Super Fudge Chunk Ben and Jerry's and watching sensational television programs.
The tooth hurts! It's all crowned but it's achey and stuff.

Tooshabby

Sounds like good medicine, Sleeps :-)

sleepie

Heh ain't gonna lie it goes down pretty smooth...

zjw I was saying on Bluefairy's thread about sugar- did you ever have blended frozen bananas? They are delicious. You eat a lot of bananas right?

fini

This was a one time thing they say relapse is part of recovery,
sleepie,
the people who say that are the ones who've relapsed. it's a circular thing, and i have yet to hear long-term sober people say it that way.
and i don't mean to suggest that relapse is unusual. it's not.
but it's NOT part of recovery.

the longer i've been sober, the less 'black-and-white" is my thinking. i can "allow" myself more leeway and grey.
but when it comes to drinking, it's a black-or-white, either-or thing, and that has served me well.
it might help you to take it firmly off the table. no shades of grey.

sleepie

?
So I am fated to continue drinking because of a slip because you either keep going til you die or not?

It sounds like 3.5 months means nothing and I'm still a maintenance drinker, though I haven't had today or yesterday a thing to drink and really wanted to put this behind me.

How will dwelling help me, or telling myself I have accomplished nothing?

sleepie

Otherwise, it's, "Oh well, I am NOT sober now even though I was alcohol free for almost 4 months, so I may as well keep going". Like a dieter that eats everything on the table since they figure one cookie ruined their diet anyway.

Black and white thinking is just dangerous to me that way. That's how I used to think and it led to years of daily drinking. I'm glad it worked for you but it does not work for me.

Cow

Sleepies, I not can speak for you and anybody, but after 20+ year of testing and check every tiny nook and cranny for any other possible scenario, for me also, it clear that using (both booze/stimulant) is gonna either be yay or nay, otherwise, I never getting off this freaking hamster wheel from hell. It actual kind of relief when I final surrender to this. Not make it any easier, mind you. But at least all the machination in my head is put to rest. You maybe wish to read my memoir...

PS. Nobody telling you that you sober time mean nothing and you should dwell on you using and/or just throws it all away. Jesus God, you very dramatic tonight. What going on with you? OMG! Is my fault for recommending those shows! No more killers for you!

PPS. Sorry about the dental work, that the worst. Enjoy you delicious ice creameries.

sleepie

I seriously do not understand, I started a whole other thread saying "Take heed don't go back and try to drink" or close to it.
I have not expressed a desire to moderate anywhere.
If I am dramatic it's because I am not getting through to people.

LOL cow omg you are a real treat, I am glad to have you here

Sad for what brought us all here.