want to contact ex, came on here instead
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 287
want to contact ex, came on here instead
hello all... just got home from a great AA meeting and walked into my empty place and started thinking about my ex gf and instantly got depressed. I was close to texting her and decided to come on here instead. we broke up a little while ago because I was pretty messed up in first couple weeks of sobriety. ive decided to let her control the situation and ive been focused exclusively on my recovery (2 months sober) but it get bummed out sometimes about it. she sends me texts once in a while to see how im doing and what not but haven't heard from her in a few days. I wish I could just forget her but its tough. I guess I just came on here to avoid getting lonely...
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
Not a bad choice coming here doing what your doing by coming here encourages people like me to do similier stuff all to often I keep stuff to myself rather then post and get some advice or relief.
It's gotta be a tough situation have that relationship tugging on your heart strings while trying to work recovery you sound like your handling it fairly well and responsibly. I'm sure inside it hurts but brighter days are ahead
It's gotta be a tough situation have that relationship tugging on your heart strings while trying to work recovery you sound like your handling it fairly well and responsibly. I'm sure inside it hurts but brighter days are ahead
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 287
thx z... ya it don't feel right, I know I will be ok and things will work out how they are suppose too but time as we alkies know is hard to deal with lol.. I am definitely getting better one day at a time though.. which is awesome!!
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Join Date: Jun 2012
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Yeah everything works out the way it's suppose too but I know I can be rally impatient myself too then I want it all on my terms and it never works that way it seems. All I accomplish is driven myself crazy when I'm like that. It gets easier to just go with the flow as tome goes on.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
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It's like acepting I don't have any control over much but myself helps it's also a relief too not always feeling like it all has to work out my wAy. I think I spent so much time trying to juggle so many things when the grand illusion wAs I was never even juggling any of them I just thought I was I thought I could control all facets of my reality all that did was drive me nuts and make me wanna drink more
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
Hey Gonzo, I think you made the right call coming here, way to go on 2 months!
So glad you are here with us
Not everyone could have the kind of focus you have shown by pursuing sobriety and getting into AA and all, with all that you are handling I think you have a good thing to be proud of.
So glad you are here with us
Not everyone could have the kind of focus you have shown by pursuing sobriety and getting into AA and all, with all that you are handling I think you have a good thing to be proud of.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,792
Gonzo
Coming from the "other" side you are doing awesome!!! She asked you to give her space and you are doing what she asked. By you "changing" you are respecting her wishes. You are "working" your program. She can see that, and that is why she is "checking" in with you. If you start reaching out and engaging she will feel that you are not respecting her wishes. When you are sober you are more in tuned with your partners feelings. When you are drinking you could care a less about your partners feelings, as it is always about "you" and what is best for you.
So proud of you for 2 months sober, and I know she is also. She will not tell you that yet because you have disappointed her so many times and she won't be crushed again. Work your program, stay sober and things will work out the way God wants them to be. Hugs my friend, keep up the GOOD work it will pay off in the end!!
Coming from the "other" side you are doing awesome!!! She asked you to give her space and you are doing what she asked. By you "changing" you are respecting her wishes. You are "working" your program. She can see that, and that is why she is "checking" in with you. If you start reaching out and engaging she will feel that you are not respecting her wishes. When you are sober you are more in tuned with your partners feelings. When you are drinking you could care a less about your partners feelings, as it is always about "you" and what is best for you.
So proud of you for 2 months sober, and I know she is also. She will not tell you that yet because you have disappointed her so many times and she won't be crushed again. Work your program, stay sober and things will work out the way God wants them to be. Hugs my friend, keep up the GOOD work it will pay off in the end!!
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Norfolk, MA
Posts: 792
Congrats on 2 months, Gonzo!
You did the right thing coming here.
The beginning of this journey of sobriety is best done within yourself with as little outside "interference " as possible.This is not to say that support isn't a necessary element of recovery. Not at all! It is great to have people cheering you on your way.
For me, I went to my AA meeting every Monday night for just that support.I went to those meetings just to be with other people who knew what I was going through. I didn't work the program the way one is supposed to, but took the parts that I could relate to and used them to the max! And after 14 incredible sober years, I'm proof that it can be done!
The first months are lonely and rough, Gonzo, but if you really want a different way of living, a far superior life from where you were 2 months ago, it's worth slogging through the muck. The strength gained from getting your life back on your terms will enable you to have solid, authentic relationships with those you love.
You did the right thing coming here.
The beginning of this journey of sobriety is best done within yourself with as little outside "interference " as possible.This is not to say that support isn't a necessary element of recovery. Not at all! It is great to have people cheering you on your way.
For me, I went to my AA meeting every Monday night for just that support.I went to those meetings just to be with other people who knew what I was going through. I didn't work the program the way one is supposed to, but took the parts that I could relate to and used them to the max! And after 14 incredible sober years, I'm proof that it can be done!
The first months are lonely and rough, Gonzo, but if you really want a different way of living, a far superior life from where you were 2 months ago, it's worth slogging through the muck. The strength gained from getting your life back on your terms will enable you to have solid, authentic relationships with those you love.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 287
Wow ajax, 14 yrs!! Thats amazing, thanks again everyone for your great feedback while im going thru some tough times. I know i need to just let go and do the next right thing and let the chips fall where they may. I feel great without booze though, really getting my marbles back and some clarity.. whatever happens with her happens no matter what nothing will knock me off my path to a happy productive life.. i have a great sponsor, great program, and people that care a lot, and this site to keep me on the beam!! She knows she is my heart but i cant control anything. Im done forcing myself into the universe... enter serenity prayer now... 
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Join Date: Sep 2015
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Just going thru here one day at a time.. missing being away from my home AA meetings.. hopefully i can catch one out here on the road at some point.. trying to stay positive. . Thats all we can do sleepie i guess..
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
I hope work's treating you well. That's a good idea, hope that you catch a meeting I realize it's hard on the road, I had a close acquaintance who was a truck driver. Eventually they got a more local gig, same 2 or 3 states and home every night I think.
I realize it's hard on the road, I had a close acquaintance who was a truck driver. Eventually they got a more local gig, same 2 or 3 states and home every night I think.
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