dru1085

18 days ! That's the longest I've gone without drinking in years ! Its been up and down. The cravings are pretty much being held at bay.. I've done it all without AA, Doctors, Hospitals... etc. I probably should have gone to the doctor for my detox but I did all the research online. The doctors would only prescribe me another dose of , "Lets get hooked on another drug."

Anyways I have a wedding coming up and their will be an open bar. I am/was the type of drinker that usually drank alone at home .. not bothering anyone cept maybe my dad on occasion. I would drink while gaming mostly. I've actually been able to enjoy gaming, watching movies, etc sober !I don't want to go back to binge drinking at all. But I always was able to control my public drinking. I am contemplating just having a few drinks for the weekend of my Sisters wedding in California (never been). When I return home to Texas I am going to pick up where I left off on my sober journey.

Who knows maybe when I get out there I won't even want to drink. We will see. Those are just some thoughts.
Hope everyone has a great sober day.

Dru -

Dee74

Man, I'm sorry to hear you're still contemplating drinking, even after the great advice and shared experience you got in your recent thread.

This is where addiction finds its power IMO - it sweet talked me into believing that I had some measure of control over my drinking, even tho I had scads of evidence to the contrary.

It fooled me into thinking if I drank wine scotch or spirits I'd be ok, cos I didn't like those.

It bamboozled me into thinking that given a sufficient reason - like a family wedding - I'd be able to control myself and drink like a gentleman.

It tricked me into thinking that I could have a blow out one night and start recovery again in the morning.

It lied to me and puffed up my ego telling me that I was different to everyone else and I'd find a way to drink without the negative consequences.

It made a fool of me time and again for 20 years, Dru - and I kept coming back for more....

Look at the passive language there - maybe it will happen, maybe it won't.
Where's your power in all of this dru?

D

Tooshabby

One thing that's for sure is that if you do drink those cravings that are currently held at bay will become a whole lot stronger. It's not just about that one night - that's the big disastrous catch, and all your hard work will be all but nullified. I wouldn't do it, Dru.

RDBplus3

... and will anyone allergic to shellfish think, maybe I'll try the Crab Dip, just because it is a wedding ...

dru1085

Yeah I understand what you guys are saying and I really appreciate it. The wedding hasn't happened yet, it's just my mind wondering around and I had to write it down. I like doing it here because you guys let me know what outcomes could arise.

Say for instance , I had a couple glasses of Champagne... that was it. Woke up perfectly fine.. Then stayed sober for another 18 days... that's control isn't it? I am just scared that I can never have a social drink again in my life. That would suck. I don't drink liquor. I love the taste of beer and on occasion wine. Do I really have to give it up forever?

doggonecarl

How nice would it be to , down the road be able to say if I'm out with friends or at a social event with alcohol and say, "No thanks, I don't drink."
-- dru1085, 9/28/2015

How nice it would be.

dru1085

Who that in the past that has had a drinking problem doesn't contemplate drinking? lol I doubt it ever truly goes away... But it's only contemplating... I haven't ****** up yet.

happybeingme

In time you won't think about it. I don't. I simply don't drink anymore. It matter not at all to anyone if you drink or not. One thing I have noticed. I actually enjoy myself more at social events not drinking. I still laugh like a loon, dance, act silly, and really have some great conversations and deep connections with people now that I don't drink.

Dee74

The progression for me, over twenty years went from me being able to control my drinking sometimes, to rarely, to finally not at all.

I went from being a weekend warrior who binge drank out with mates to a guy who drank alone at home day in and day out.

I have a toxic relationship with alcohol however much I did not want to admit that.
The truth is, after that first drink, I never knew where (or when) I'd end up.

If I had a 'good night' *(whatever that meant to me at the time) it was really down to luck more than anything else.

Real control, for me, is never drinking again because I cede my control when I drink.

I can't not share the story of that progression, dru, even if you feel it won't happen to you.

every one reading this thread I expect - but the 'I drink because I drink/am an alcoholic/ because I like it' defence is asinine.

there is another choice beyond simply drinking again and there is a better life to be had - and yes the thoughts do stop, dru - but only when you stop feeding the beer monster....

D

IOAA2

Hi.
I’m grateful to say that I haven’t had a desire to drink in many years in part because when I got sober I stayed away from slippery places and if I did go had someone with me along with a legitimate reason for being there.

Some people might say I’m weak. YEP! Alcohol is more powerful, cunning, baffling and insidious so I choose not to test it.

I learned that YET stands for: Your Eligible Too.

BE WELL

sg1970

You have the little guy on your shoulder yelling loudly, huh? Saying "I stopped without help" and "I can stop again later". Mine told me I didn't get hospitalized so maybe I quit too early or wasn't that bad.

Quitting for me, even though I only had AA, wasn't easy. I don't know if I could do it again. Just having a couple of drinks isn't worth finding out.

Bird615

I went out and tried it just one more time and it took me four and a half years to make it back and stay sober more than a month or two. Some people never do.

Berrybean

A couple of glasses huh? And you'll be satisfied with that? You really think?

That's not how I remember it ever happening - esp at a wedding. and ESP when there's a free bar.

Call me weak, but I have help. From counsellors (not much help, granted!) and from AA and from AA friends and from folk on here. I've learnt that it isn't willpower that keeps me sober and in recovery. It's acceptance of the fact that you can't unpickle a cucumber. Acceptance that, for whatever reason, I passed that state of no return and cannot be a 'normie', no matter how much I wanted to be. And that acceptance helps me spot those out and out lies that my AV will tell me to get me to take that first drink.

Yours is playing a corker at the moment - sounds like something mine'd come out with...along the lines of.. "Well done - you see, you're not an alcoholic, you just want to cut back a bit. Don't you go hanging out with those AA wierdos or listening to any stupid advice from the doctor or hospital. It's you and me, on our own - lets drink to it at that wedding - go on, you deserve it...." And each time we listen to your AV and give into it, the more power it seems to have over us.

JeffreyAK

You might find that this all is a lot simpler if you don't think about "forever" right now, 18 days is great but it's very early. You might also find it's simpler if you don't fixate on wanting to drink at a future event, because fixating on that just empowers the reptile, not you to sober person. What helps many people is, distract yourself before your brain goes too far down that path, and just worry about not drinking today.

Not drinking at all doesn't suck, it's wonderful in all ways! But that's maybe something to contemplate later on? Meanwhile, if those thoughts come up, think about what really sucks and why you're here.

GnikNus

I wouldn't drink at the wedding, or think that you could "pick right up were you left off" with sobriety. I've read a lot of posts on here where people did more or less the same thing and them found themselves in a five year binge.

Keep the momentum you have going. Not drinking at the wedding might give you practice working your "sober muscles," and you would be able to build from the experience of staying sober at the wedding. It would make you stronger.

Berrybean

Anyway - presumably if your sis is pregnant she won't be drinking hardly at all. I bet she'll appreciate having a sober brother to keep her company when everyone else is doing drunken-dad-dancing. I know I would in her situation.

dru1085

That is true . My sis is prego and wont be drinking.. maybe I should just stick with her . Good advice all. Ty

ScottFromWI

Another thought - it's perfectly acceptable to attend a wedding and not the reception. After all, it's really the marriage ceremony itself that is the most important part of the day.

ScottFromWI

It's normal to be scared of this, most of us were. But yes - if you are an alcoholic, you have to give it up forever. Social drinking is still drinking, and sobriety means no drinking, ever - for any reason.

You need to decide if you are an alcoholic or not - no one here can tell you for sure.

elsker

It does go away.