strat's positive thinking thread
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
Great thread, Strat!
I'd like to put some thought into it. The really nice thing is that I know I can honestly describe five things about myself. Until I got sober, there was a big asterisk next to anything I liked about me.
I'd like to put some thought into it. The really nice thing is that I know I can honestly describe five things about myself. Until I got sober, there was a big asterisk next to anything I liked about me.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Great thread, Strat. I used to struggle with the difference between ego and self-esteem....I had neither at the time and thought very little of myself.
It took years of work before I felt it was okay to love myself, warts and all. I didn't have to be anyone else. I didn't have to have approval to be "me" as long as I was the best person I knew how to be...that was enough. When I became more concerned about what I thought of myself than what others thought of me and began to take better care of me, I could grow and learn and feel free for the first time in my life.
I am going to do your exercises, and follow this thread. Positive thinking brings positive results. Thank you for the inspiration.
Hugs
It took years of work before I felt it was okay to love myself, warts and all. I didn't have to be anyone else. I didn't have to have approval to be "me" as long as I was the best person I knew how to be...that was enough. When I became more concerned about what I thought of myself than what others thought of me and began to take better care of me, I could grow and learn and feel free for the first time in my life.
I am going to do your exercises, and follow this thread. Positive thinking brings positive results. Thank you for the inspiration.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 740
About 6 years ago, I got a great promotion at work and my mom said to me, "Wow, you were so lucky to get it!" That day I realized that she thinks that when good things happen, it's because of luck, or someone else's generosity. That was a lightbulb moment for me. Something inside me shouted out that I earned that promotion through my hard work, my good ideas, and my other good qualities as an employee. Before that moment, I too would have thought it was mostly luck.
You see, my mom has low self-esteem, and she passed that down to me. It has taken me a long time to believe in my good qualities, and I'm finally almost there. But I have a major fault (among others I could tell you about, but I don't want to keep you here all day!); I have a tendency to sabotage myself. I don't know if it's part of my remaining low self-esteem, carelessness, stupid moments, self-indulgence, or a combination of these. There's a song that says (loosely translated), What I do with my hands, I undo with my feet. That's me. Or should I say that WAS me?? I have a shot at getting it right, now that I'm sober.
Thanks for the thread, Strat. It's thought-provoking,
Delfin
You see, my mom has low self-esteem, and she passed that down to me. It has taken me a long time to believe in my good qualities, and I'm finally almost there. But I have a major fault (among others I could tell you about, but I don't want to keep you here all day!); I have a tendency to sabotage myself. I don't know if it's part of my remaining low self-esteem, carelessness, stupid moments, self-indulgence, or a combination of these. There's a song that says (loosely translated), What I do with my hands, I undo with my feet. That's me. Or should I say that WAS me?? I have a shot at getting it right, now that I'm sober.
Thanks for the thread, Strat. It's thought-provoking,
Delfin
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 35,731
I love your thread Strat!
Just what we need, some positive thinking.
I beat myself up pretty good when I was drinking. It took me lots of time and hard work to realize, I deserved much better for myself.
Thank you !
Just what we need, some positive thinking.
I beat myself up pretty good when I was drinking. It took me lots of time and hard work to realize, I deserved much better for myself.
Thank you !
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Fingerlakes,NY
Posts: 4,536
Woah much harder than I thought it would be! I have wicked low self esteem and this has been a struggle. Things I like caring, loyal, honest (now) , hard working and dependable ( also now ).
There is a long list of things I don't like but I wouldn't trade any of the things I like to get rid of the things I don't like. I would rather keep what I like and work on the negatives.
I truly believe what you put out there is what you get back so I wouldn't want to lose my positives.
There is a long list of things I don't like but I wouldn't trade any of the things I like to get rid of the things I don't like. I would rather keep what I like and work on the negatives
.I truly believe what you put out there is what you get back so I wouldn't want to lose my positives.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,785
I want to thank Dee so much for bringing up the topic of fear and starting off the discussion on the other thread. He’s awesome and I am so grateful he is here at SR.
I am also so glad to see each and every one of you here!!
Fear and worry are something we all deal with, especially when there is uncertainty. I have never been a big fan of uncertainty, but want to know what is going to happen and when. I’d even ask for the time if I could get it.
Unfortunately, life is not like that. It has its own way of doing things that we can’t always plan for. How we cope with uncertainty is paramount, especially when in recovery. Like many things, it’s important that worry/fear is kept within a healthy balance. Fear, when it is used properly, can be used to make sure certain things are taken care of. However, when it becomes excessive it can paralyze action and/or be detrimental to our physical and emotional health.
When I was just starting to recover, I started looking at my thinking patterns very closely since I was trying to identify thought patterns that triggered cravings. Any time there was uncertainty, I would start thinking…well maybe this will happen, and then this next thing will happen and then this will happen. Pretty soon I would be all stressed out and want a drink even though nothing had happened!
One of the things I found very helpful, was staying in the moment. I would not let my mind start drifting off to the future since I would come up with spectacular events otherwise and all that would do is trigger cravings for drinking.
The other thing I started to do when I was worried about something, was repeat to myself, "I will deal with this situation when it occurs". Keep on remembering what we’re worried about might not even happen!
Another thing that helps, is visualization. I used to stress myself to an insane degree with things where something had occurred, but the outcome wasn’t known (e.g. tests, job interviews, etc.). One day, I thought about a piece of paper and put all my worries into this piece of paper. I then visualized a windy day, tossed this paper into the wind and visualized those worries blowing away in the wind not to be seen again.
Today’s exercise: monitor your thought patterns today. Do you see fear or worry in them? Do you think the fear or worry is healthy or not healthy? If you are worried or fearing something, try one of the exercises and note how it made you feel. If you have any suggestions for dealing with worry/fear, please share. We can always learn more from each other!
I am also so glad to see each and every one of you here!!
Fear and worry are something we all deal with, especially when there is uncertainty. I have never been a big fan of uncertainty, but want to know what is going to happen and when. I’d even ask for the time if I could get it.
Unfortunately, life is not like that. It has its own way of doing things that we can’t always plan for. How we cope with uncertainty is paramount, especially when in recovery. Like many things, it’s important that worry/fear is kept within a healthy balance. Fear, when it is used properly, can be used to make sure certain things are taken care of. However, when it becomes excessive it can paralyze action and/or be detrimental to our physical and emotional health.
When I was just starting to recover, I started looking at my thinking patterns very closely since I was trying to identify thought patterns that triggered cravings. Any time there was uncertainty, I would start thinking…well maybe this will happen, and then this next thing will happen and then this will happen. Pretty soon I would be all stressed out and want a drink even though nothing had happened!
One of the things I found very helpful, was staying in the moment. I would not let my mind start drifting off to the future since I would come up with spectacular events otherwise and all that would do is trigger cravings for drinking.
The other thing I started to do when I was worried about something, was repeat to myself, "I will deal with this situation when it occurs". Keep on remembering what we’re worried about might not even happen!
Another thing that helps, is visualization. I used to stress myself to an insane degree with things where something had occurred, but the outcome wasn’t known (e.g. tests, job interviews, etc.). One day, I thought about a piece of paper and put all my worries into this piece of paper. I then visualized a windy day, tossed this paper into the wind and visualized those worries blowing away in the wind not to be seen again.
Today’s exercise: monitor your thought patterns today. Do you see fear or worry in them? Do you think the fear or worry is healthy or not healthy? If you are worried or fearing something, try one of the exercises and note how it made you feel. If you have any suggestions for dealing with worry/fear, please share. We can always learn more from each other!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Park Hills, Missouri
Posts: 53
I think today's exercise will prove to be good for us all. One of the things that is important to me in almost every situation is to be proactive. In other words if a heavy situation is happening is to make a list of things I can do about it...again the visualization.
If you are letting a thought carry you away from the present for 5 or 10 minutes, its time to give it up-
I was introduced to a God Box (insert higher power here if you must)
After I have done all I can do with something or if I am powerless that particular item goes on a piece of paper into the God Box - Its not mine to worry over and by the way this takes practice.
If you are letting a thought carry you away from the present for 5 or 10 minutes, its time to give it up-
I was introduced to a God Box (insert higher power here if you must)
After I have done all I can do with something or if I am powerless that particular item goes on a piece of paper into the God Box - Its not mine to worry over and by the way this takes practice.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,697
Originally Posted by strategery 
Today’s exercise: monitor your thought patterns today. Do you see fear or worry in them? Do you think the fear or worry is healthy or not healthy? If you are worried or fearing something, try one of the exercises and note how it made you feel. If you have any suggestions for dealing with worry/fear, please share. We can always learn more from each other!
I associate my fear to my anxiety. It really helps me to stay in the present and be mindful. Most of my worries and fears never come to fruition.
Also writting everything down and setting worries time like 15 minutes a day helps me.
Great thread strat
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
If you have any suggestions for dealing with worry/fear, please share. We can always learn more from each other!
Someone here told me that faith was the antidote to fear and for some reason that struck a chord with me and I began to embrace my faith and become more spiritually connected...and it helped...a lot.
Those here who know me know that my husband and I both went through cancer this past year (we are doing very well now), and there was a time when that fear was so strong I knew I needed to either recharge my spiritual batteries or crumble under the pressure and fear of us both being so sick at the same time. I opened my journal to write it out and the saying at the top of that day's page read "Be still and know that I am God". It was no coincidence, I think, it was exactly what I needed to pull myself back up, faith that God had us both covered. My entry for that day was simply "Thank You".
When worry or fear begins to creep in today, I take a long walk in nature, take time to be still and just breathe and embrace the day around me. In the end, that's all I need in life, the joy of each day wrapping itself around me and keeping me safe. The rest is just "stuff".
Hugs to all and thank you again Strat for making me think and in doing so, find gratitude for all the blessings in my life today.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Fingerlakes,NY
Posts: 4,536
I used to get anxiety about everything....I am always going to be a little more tightly wound than the average bear but it's much better. Along with not drinking myself silly I do power yoga and meditation. I also am learning some things are totally out of my control and it won't change a damn thing to obsess.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
LOVE this thread, Strat!!
Today, I got hit with another "chat" at work, not a good one, been through it many a time.
I need my job (fear), but I'm REALLY good at what I do and I know it.
Long story short, I have a plan (keep looking for another job), and I realize that I've been told "this is the LAST TIME" hundreds of time.
Thanks to recovery and SR, I can easily list 5 things I actually like about me. I have a longer list of things I don't like, but would not give up the good for the bad.
I'm using self talk ("you've been through worse, you can get through this"), positive self talk, and my gratitude list.
That being said, I will be checking this thread every day, because sometimes I feel like a little black cloud is hanging over me.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Today, I got hit with another "chat" at work, not a good one, been through it many a time.
I need my job (fear), but I'm REALLY good at what I do and I know it.
Long story short, I have a plan (keep looking for another job), and I realize that I've been told "this is the LAST TIME" hundreds of time.
Thanks to recovery and SR, I can easily list 5 things I actually like about me. I have a longer list of things I don't like, but would not give up the good for the bad.
I'm using self talk ("you've been through worse, you can get through this"), positive self talk, and my gratitude list.
That being said, I will be checking this thread every day, because sometimes I feel like a little black cloud is hanging over me.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 740
Originally Posted by Rusty Zipper
1- the fact i can admit defeat
2-that i made it to over 60
3-that i'm dedicated
4-that i help others freely
5-that i can wiggle my toes!
2-that i made it to over 60
3-that i'm dedicated
4-that i help others freely
5-that i can wiggle my toes!
6. You are very funny!
You always put a smile on my face, Rusty!
Delfin
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,785
Thank you all so much for all of your awesome contributions today!
JD-I love the idea of the Godbox, esp when using it when worrying for 5 to 10 minutes!
Letitgo-I loved what you said about how we are the only ones to give things power. I am glad you are finding a weight lifted off your shoulders with the situation at work.
Sleepie-welcome! I hope the magnesium works.
Ann-thank you so much for your words about faith. It really spoke to me today. Also, thank you so much for sharing with us what you've been through this year and how you've dealt with the worry between journaling and gratitude. You are an amazing woman!
Della-you are so right about obsessing doing no good. Realizing that is super powerful. Also, thank you so much for also bringing up meditation and exercise (esp yoga). Those are also great ways to practice being mindful.
Amy-welcome! *hugs* Thank you so much for bringing up positive self-talk and gratitude lists. Those are two very awesome tools. Gratitude lists are great for changing your perspective. I hope the situation at work changes for you, but the good thing is you have a plan.
JD-I love the idea of the Godbox, esp when using it when worrying for 5 to 10 minutes!
Letitgo-I loved what you said about how we are the only ones to give things power. I am glad you are finding a weight lifted off your shoulders with the situation at work.
Sleepie-welcome!
I hope the magnesium works. Ann-thank you so much for your words about faith. It really spoke to me today. Also, thank you so much for sharing with us what you've been through this year and how you've dealt with the worry between journaling and gratitude. You are an amazing woman!
Della-you are so right about obsessing doing no good. Realizing that is super powerful. Also, thank you so much for also bringing up meditation and exercise (esp yoga). Those are also great ways to practice being mindful.
Amy-welcome! *hugs* Thank you so much for bringing up positive self-talk and gratitude lists. Those are two very awesome tools. Gratitude lists are great for changing your perspective. I hope the situation at work changes for you, but the good thing is you have a plan.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Park Hills, Missouri
Posts: 53
LIG Man - I so relate to the blowups and my mind blowing things up to where when I talked to a more rational person at the time, they'd say" jd that never happened!" or" its not a big deal can ya just letitgo?
Sleepie - hope you are doing well
Ann- as I read your post tears just flowed even as I write this ... "Be Still and know that I am God" I know you shared it before but it just really touches my heart because God is so good ...and I so needed to see this today !
It washes away the old thought patterns... They used to call me worry wart when I was a kid well right into being grown up....so I can relate to the worry
Sleepie - hope you are doing well
Ann- as I read your post tears just flowed even as I write this ... "Be Still and know that I am God" I know you shared it before but it just really touches my heart because God is so good ...and I so needed to see this today !
It washes away the old thought patterns... They used to call me worry wart when I was a kid well right into being grown up....so I can relate to the worry
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