strat's positive thinking thread
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Auckland
Posts: 2,548
I absolutely do think I need to make this more of a priority. I've been thinking about this very thing lately. It's so easy to get stuck in a rut, but equally easy to take time out to have fun.
I've just arranged for my partner and I to go over to my Mum's on Sunday morning at 7.00 am to watch the rugby: England versus Australia. We'll have a big breakfast together, and guess what? I won't be hungover. It will be fun :-)
I've just arranged for my partner and I to go over to my Mum's on Sunday morning at 7.00 am to watch the rugby: England versus Australia. We'll have a big breakfast together, and guess what? I won't be hungover. It will be fun :-)
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 2,578
another winner topic, Strat!
Joy ... I need to make this more of a priority!! I have some things that bring me joy (sailing, scuba diving) but those aren't feasible for me to do every day, more an occasional, seasonal thing. I need to develop more small things that do bring me joy each day.
Exercise definitely gives me a mood boost and can probably count double -- for health and for joy.
Good food for thought.
Joy ... I need to make this more of a priority!! I have some things that bring me joy (sailing, scuba diving) but those aren't feasible for me to do every day, more an occasional, seasonal thing. I need to develop more small things that do bring me joy each day.
Exercise definitely gives me a mood boost and can probably count double -- for health and for joy.
Good food for thought.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Ky
Posts: 2,043
The one thing that used to bring be immense joy was performing country music. I had to practice every day. So I exercised too everyday for 2 hours singing and dancing cause I performed I didn't just sing. I haven't practiced in over a year. When my drinking trickled over into my music something happened to me on the inside. I haven't been able to bring it back yet. Nor have I replaced it with anything else. I am just stuck at missing it immensely. My enjoyment is just spending time with my family. I am searching how to fix what is missing in my music now that I actually have a brain to try.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,557
I've actually had a hard time coming up with something that brings me joy. Kind of sad. I better do some thinking. 
I get satisfaction & happiness out of some things, but joy doesn't happen often.
I get satisfaction & happiness out of some things, but joy doesn't happen often.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,785
staying positive when struggling part 8
Thank you so much for your very thoughtful replies.
For some of you, you know what brings you joy and can take steps to realize this joy, which is awesome. However, if you haven’t found joy with doing different things, there is no better time than now to try new things. You can always try new hobbies, learning something new, or try new activities. The possibilities are endless!
Today is going to be the last part of staying positive when struggling, which is remembering tough times don’t last. This is also going to be the last part of this thread for awhile. Many of the insights I have shared, have been gained over the past 10+ months of sobriety. However, they take time to obtain. I hope to post here as I obtain new insights, but for now, I don’t have anything new to add that I haven’t covered previously.
I appreciate every single one of you here and am grateful for all the love and insight you have shared from each of your journeys. Seeing each one of you growing in recovery is truly a beautiful thing.
One of my favorite quotes comes from another SR member, Ann. She says the difference between a good day and a bad day, is about two days. I love this quote since it emphasizes that even if we’re struggling, it’s a temporary thing. When we’re struggling, this is something that can be easily forgotten.
If we can remember that struggling is only temporary, we can keep ourselves positive and this can help get us through the struggle.
There have been days I have struggled, but as I’ve gotten along in recovery, I know it’s a matter of waiting the feelings out as unpleasant as they are. Sometimes it’s minute by minute, but the feelings pass. So keep on remembering that even when you’re struggling, you can get through it and it won’t last forever.
Additionally, as you spend more time dealing with these unpleasant emotions, it becomes more natural and easier to handle them as they pop up. So while the struggle isn’t fun, it’s temporary and makes you stronger.
Today’s exercise: think about your last struggle. Can you remember what emotions or thoughts triggered it? What thoughts did you use to keep yourself moving forward?
For some of you, you know what brings you joy and can take steps to realize this joy, which is awesome. However, if you haven’t found joy with doing different things, there is no better time than now to try new things. You can always try new hobbies, learning something new, or try new activities. The possibilities are endless! Today is going to be the last part of staying positive when struggling, which is remembering tough times don’t last. This is also going to be the last part of this thread for awhile. Many of the insights I have shared, have been gained over the past 10+ months of sobriety. However, they take time to obtain. I hope to post here as I obtain new insights, but for now, I don’t have anything new to add that I haven’t covered previously.
I appreciate every single one of you here and am grateful for all the love and insight you have shared from each of your journeys. Seeing each one of you growing in recovery is truly a beautiful thing.
One of my favorite quotes comes from another SR member, Ann. She says the difference between a good day and a bad day, is about two days. I love this quote since it emphasizes that even if we’re struggling, it’s a temporary thing. When we’re struggling, this is something that can be easily forgotten.
If we can remember that struggling is only temporary, we can keep ourselves positive and this can help get us through the struggle.
There have been days I have struggled, but as I’ve gotten along in recovery, I know it’s a matter of waiting the feelings out as unpleasant as they are. Sometimes it’s minute by minute, but the feelings pass. So keep on remembering that even when you’re struggling, you can get through it and it won’t last forever.
Additionally, as you spend more time dealing with these unpleasant emotions, it becomes more natural and easier to handle them as they pop up. So while the struggle isn’t fun, it’s temporary and makes you stronger.
Today’s exercise: think about your last struggle. Can you remember what emotions or thoughts triggered it? What thoughts did you use to keep yourself moving forward?
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Strat, I love this thread and have been following it. I just want to add to the adage that bad days don't last forever, by sharing that through my life (and I'm an old gal today), I have often found that what I saw as obstacles or hard times, or life yanking the rug out from under me....were, in fact, strangely wrapped gifts that brought me something wonderful that would never have come without the bad days that led me to it.
At the time it didn't feel like there was a gift in there anywhere, it hurt or threw me off balance as I struggled to either accept the changes or find my balance again. But without fail, as I look back on my life and particularly the hard days, I can see the pattern of the bad times followed by the strangely wrapped gift.
A simple example is that if I had not gone through all I went through in my codependency trying to control my son's addiction and failing badly at that and life in general...if I had not been through that then I wouldn't be in the good place I am in today, a play of joy and peace and light. Recovery brought me these strangely wrapped gifts, each one when I was ready and gifts that need to be shared if I want to keep them at all.
Bad days and bad times will happen to each one of us, it's how life works sometimes. Today we each have the tools to face those days and get through the pain. Just knowing that things WILL get better and life will be worth living again makes the bad days diminish in power, and knowing there will be a strangely wrapped gift at the end of all this, activates the gratitude in my heart making each day a little lighter and a little easier to get through.
Thank you for this thread, it has made me think and reminded me to be grateful for all the lessons along the way, no matter how painful they were to learn.
Hugs
At the time it didn't feel like there was a gift in there anywhere, it hurt or threw me off balance as I struggled to either accept the changes or find my balance again. But without fail, as I look back on my life and particularly the hard days, I can see the pattern of the bad times followed by the strangely wrapped gift.
A simple example is that if I had not gone through all I went through in my codependency trying to control my son's addiction and failing badly at that and life in general...if I had not been through that then I wouldn't be in the good place I am in today, a play of joy and peace and light. Recovery brought me these strangely wrapped gifts, each one when I was ready and gifts that need to be shared if I want to keep them at all.
Bad days and bad times will happen to each one of us, it's how life works sometimes. Today we each have the tools to face those days and get through the pain. Just knowing that things WILL get better and life will be worth living again makes the bad days diminish in power, and knowing there will be a strangely wrapped gift at the end of all this, activates the gratitude in my heart making each day a little lighter and a little easier to get through.
Thank you for this thread, it has made me think and reminded me to be grateful for all the lessons along the way, no matter how painful they were to learn.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Fingerlakes,NY
Posts: 4,536
This is a wonderful thread. Although I enjoy many things now and am very happy I am like Hevyn and really don't get much joy out of anything. I didn't drinking either . Part of me is starting to think there is something lacking in me and I am incapable of feeling it. I have always been this way and maybe that contributed to the drinking.
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
Thank you do much for this thread Strat.
I feel many things contentment, sense of accomplishment, sometimes even a little sparkle of happiness but like Hevyn and Della, I must admit that joy is quite foreign to me. I don't even remember the last time I felt it.
I feel many things contentment, sense of accomplishment, sometimes even a little sparkle of happiness but like Hevyn and Della, I must admit that joy is quite foreign to me. I don't even remember the last time I felt it.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Ky
Posts: 2,043
It's really made me do some more searching into my heart about the questions you've asked us. It's made me realize things I hadn't thought about. I have loved this thread too and hope sometime there will be more because we learn from digging into our selves. Ive been having struggling obviously in all areas as I come out of this crazy addiction. I'm exercising positivity and trying to learn something positive even when the situation is bad. Thank you for this thread. ((Hug)) to y'all and Strat!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,697
Originally Posted by strategery 
Today’s exercise: think about your last struggle. Can you remember what emotions or thoughts triggered it? What thoughts did you use to keep yourself moving forward?
I had a nice dinner and felt better. When these feelimg of frustration and hopelessness come up I will just ride the out and rationalize the situation when i calm down. 24 hour rule. I feel rested and much better about the deciscion today.
Going forward my gameplan is to remember my tools and use them . When this situations occur.
Too lazy to edit my post. You get the jist of it
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 2,578
A few months ago I was going through a big struggle, and felt like I was starting to risk a relapse if I kept staying stuck. I was making things worse -- I had an initial struggle, but then I was was adding to that, by being upset that I was struggling. I found something in a book on relapse prevention by Terrence Gorski, that I found really helpful -- "RADAR".
R- recognize a problem exists
A - Accept that it's ok to have a problem
D - Detach and gain perspective
A - Ask for help
R - Respond with action when prepared
It's kind of corny but it actually helped me. The first three parts (RAD) helped me stop adding to my struggle -- just by acknowledging "Hey, I'm stuck, and that's OK, and I won't always be stuck". That puts me in a position to be able to ask for help ... reaching out to other recovering friends often jostles things loose and brings to awareness solutions I may not have thought of. The last step -taking action - is key, because I find it's important to get out of being "stuck in my head", by taking some kind of action. Often the action isn't something directly related to the problem, but maybe just something like going to a meeting or posting on SR. The action is just some positive step that will help me get out of my stuck place.
Thank you so much for your contributions in this thread, strat and everyone.
R- recognize a problem exists
A - Accept that it's ok to have a problem
D - Detach and gain perspective
A - Ask for help
R - Respond with action when prepared
It's kind of corny but it actually helped me. The first three parts (RAD) helped me stop adding to my struggle -- just by acknowledging "Hey, I'm stuck, and that's OK, and I won't always be stuck". That puts me in a position to be able to ask for help ... reaching out to other recovering friends often jostles things loose and brings to awareness solutions I may not have thought of. The last step -taking action - is key, because I find it's important to get out of being "stuck in my head", by taking some kind of action. Often the action isn't something directly related to the problem, but maybe just something like going to a meeting or posting on SR. The action is just some positive step that will help me get out of my stuck place.
Thank you so much for your contributions in this thread, strat and everyone.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,785
Thank you all again for all your wonderful shares and for being here. It's truly been a pleasure doing this thread and hopefully I'll have more items to share again soon. *hugs everyone*
Della, Carlotta and Hevyn-there can be a lot of factors in play as to whether we experience happiness/joy or not. For a long time, I thought joy should be this massive thing, but in reality was as simple as enjoying time with a pet, a friend, a good cup of coffee, laughing at cat memes, or doing zumba.
Ann-thank you so much for your beautiful share. What you said about looking back at hard times and realizing they were strangely wrapped gifts really spoke to me.
KeyofC-it also took me some time to dig myself out, but you'll get there and doing awesome. You're working hard at recovery and it shows.
Letitgo-Great job on getting through yesterday. Riding out those urges is so important and it gets easier as you go along. Isn't it awesome those urges are gone today and you didn't act on them?
Tursiops99-I had never heard of the RADAR acronym, but think it is awesome. Thank you for giving us another tool!
Della, Carlotta and Hevyn-there can be a lot of factors in play as to whether we experience happiness/joy or not. For a long time, I thought joy should be this massive thing, but in reality was as simple as enjoying time with a pet, a friend, a good cup of coffee, laughing at cat memes, or doing zumba.
Ann-thank you so much for your beautiful share.
What you said about looking back at hard times and realizing they were strangely wrapped gifts really spoke to me. KeyofC-it also took me some time to dig myself out, but you'll get there and doing awesome. You're working hard at recovery and it shows.
Letitgo-Great job on getting through yesterday. Riding out those urges is so important and it gets easier as you go along. Isn't it awesome those urges are gone today and you didn't act on them?
Tursiops99-I had never heard of the RADAR acronym, but think it is awesome. Thank you for giving us another tool!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
What I like:
1. I'm clever
2. I'm resourceful
3. I'm brave
4. I'm curious and engaged with life
5. I get along really well with people and animals
What I don't like:
1. I can be reckless
2. I'm inconsistent with keeping in touch with people
3. I expect people to be tougher than they are
4. I have commitment issues
5. I procrastinate unpleasant social necessities
I would not change the positives to change the negatives
1. I'm clever
2. I'm resourceful
3. I'm brave
4. I'm curious and engaged with life
5. I get along really well with people and animals
What I don't like:
1. I can be reckless
2. I'm inconsistent with keeping in touch with people
3. I expect people to be tougher than they are
4. I have commitment issues
5. I procrastinate unpleasant social necessities
I would not change the positives to change the negatives
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,557
Me too, JS. Nice that you joined in.
Strat - you're absolutely right. Joy doesn't have to be this big over-the-top feeling. I think seeking that is what got me in trouble in the first place. It can be a quiet contentment too.
As for the struggle - it was recently. I hadn't seen my family in a long time & old resentments popped up - things I thought I'd dealt with. A particular family member is very judgmental & opinionated. I felt like I was back in time to 30 yrs. ago - and I couldn't drink my annoyance away. (Not that it actually helped.) I'm still trying to figure out how I could let someone bother me so much, how I can be so insecure. Hey - just saying that helped.
Nice that you joined in.Strat - you're absolutely right. Joy doesn't have to be this big over-the-top feeling. I think seeking that is what got me in trouble in the first place. It can be a quiet contentment too.
As for the struggle - it was recently. I hadn't seen my family in a long time & old resentments popped up - things I thought I'd dealt with. A particular family member is very judgmental & opinionated. I felt like I was back in time to 30 yrs. ago - and I couldn't drink my annoyance away. (Not that it actually helped.) I'm still trying to figure out how I could let someone bother me so much, how I can be so insecure. Hey - just saying that helped.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Park Hills, Missouri
Posts: 53
What brings me joy is when I can put all of my housemates and LL and outside issues out of my mind and spend time in prayer and meditation.
I have a little ritual of lighting candles putting on soft music and just opening myself up to God and thanking him for things asking for strength to make it through hard things.
I enjoy trying to find ways to help in community right from my fingertips in my room.
I enjoy trying to help others if I can and in ways that don't hurt my immediate creditors.
I am enjoying trying to live simple because I want to all though other circumstances require it -
when my health was better I tried to physically help the homeless by organizing a sandwich making group and one year we took backpacks with necessities in them
I am enjoying trying to be a regular blogger and aspire to learning to write ebooks
but lately I have been in tremendous pain and have taken hits financially which easily gets me unraveled I am trying to learn to get through the difficult times.
Giving up is not an option!
I have a little ritual of lighting candles putting on soft music and just opening myself up to God and thanking him for things asking for strength to make it through hard things.
I enjoy trying to find ways to help in community right from my fingertips in my room.
I enjoy trying to help others if I can and in ways that don't hurt my immediate creditors.
I am enjoying trying to live simple because I want to all though other circumstances require it -
when my health was better I tried to physically help the homeless by organizing a sandwich making group and one year we took backpacks with necessities in them
I am enjoying trying to be a regular blogger and aspire to learning to write ebooks
but lately I have been in tremendous pain and have taken hits financially which easily gets me unraveled I am trying to learn to get through the difficult times.
Giving up is not an option!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,785
I am glad you found this thread Jsbodhi and it's great to have you here! I don't really have much to add right now, but there are a number of daily exercises and posts you can take advantage of.
JD-you've been going through a lot with your health. Your positivity despite what you're going through is infectious and very inspiring.
Hevyn-I am so glad that just writing out those words was helpful and helped you feel better.
I don't really have much to add right now, but there are a number of daily exercises and posts you can take advantage of.JD-you've been going through a lot with your health. Your positivity despite what you're going through is infectious and very inspiring.
Hevyn-I am so glad that just writing out those words was helpful and helped you feel better.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
