strat's positive thinking thread
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Ky
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I have been really trying to change my thinking to be more positive anyway. Working hard at being positive in general and when faced with those situations spinning it around as to a learning experience verses negative impact experience. I suffer from depression as well as alcoholism so I have to be diligent in changing my thinking. Everyday I have to pause before I act or react. I will answer directly this afternoon..good one Strat!
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Join Date: Jan 2013
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Originally Posted by letitgo 
Strat you tricking us all into cognitive behavior therapy and I really enjoy it 
thank you
thank youToday's exercise reminded me of that quote
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Ky
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One example:
My daughter was in an abusive relationship mental emotional physical. She was too young to be handing such an adult relationship. Also being so young she was more easily molded and held captive by this boy. It took us forever to break thru and finally get her away from him. I recently learned he was contacting her again. She has a boyfriend now and he appears to be a nice boy. She is supposed to be blocking the abusive boy. So instead of me blowing up at her like I would've done in the old me fashion, I made her think about how much better she's been without him. I reminded her how broken she was and had she forgotten how badly he treated her. I made her realize she is worth happiness and love that don't hurt.
Does this qualify for what you're talking about? I really am doing all I can to be more positive throughout my days so I don't gave an exact story.
PS she blocked him again! (Yes!)
My daughter was in an abusive relationship mental emotional physical. She was too young to be handing such an adult relationship. Also being so young she was more easily molded and held captive by this boy. It took us forever to break thru and finally get her away from him. I recently learned he was contacting her again. She has a boyfriend now and he appears to be a nice boy. She is supposed to be blocking the abusive boy. So instead of me blowing up at her like I would've done in the old me fashion, I made her think about how much better she's been without him. I reminded her how broken she was and had she forgotten how badly he treated her. I made her realize she is worth happiness and love that don't hurt.
Does this qualify for what you're talking about? I really am doing all I can to be more positive throughout my days so I don't gave an exact story.
PS she blocked him again! (Yes!)
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Join Date: Aug 2007
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Today's exercise would've helped me if I'd been here earlier. I was all about being negative & downbeat today - which is rare for me. Nothing looked hopeful. I guess I need to see what can be done about it.
I was all about being negative & downbeat today - which is rare for me. Nothing looked hopeful. I guess I need to see what can be done about it. Member
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,785
Originally Posted by letitgo
Strat you tricking us all into cognitive behavior therapy and I really enjoy it thank you
thank you
.I had no idea what I was doing, but you are right that it is CBT. I'm glad you're enjoying it. KeyofC-you're definitely getting it! With the situation with your daughter, you realized that getting upset about her talking to the previously abusive boyfriend wasn't going to do you any good. Instead, you found a way to be calm and reason with her.
Carlotta-you are so right. The more tools, the better. I'd prefer to have lots of tools since there are times situations may call for multiple tools.
Hevyn-the great thing is you're here now and can use this tool to help you!
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staying positive when struggling pt 5-surrounding yourself with positive people
Today we’re continuing with keeping positive when struggling and bringing ourselves up by surrounding ourselves with positive people.
The relationships we have with other people can do one of two things: make our thinking better or worse, depending on whom we surround ourselves with.
I used to have a good friend that I went out for coffee with. When I was drinking, the relationship worked for both of us since we would commiserate and we both liked dwelling on the negative. As I continued to work on my thinking and staying positive with sobriety, going out with her became problematic. Each time I went out with her, it would make me feel stressed out and trigger cravings. She was no longer liking who I was and when we went out, I noticed everything she said was trying to tear me down versus build me up. Eventually, I came to the realization that the friendship was working against what I was trying to achieve, so I stopped going out for coffee with this friend. While it’s been a rather painful experience, it made me realize who we surround ourselves with can have a major impact on how we’re thinking. I realized the more time I spent with those that thought positive, the more it helped me be positive and that I should make an effort to surround myself with positive people.
One of the things I love about SR, is that there are so many warm and positive people here. It was the people on the boards that helped me realize how important positive thinking is. By surrounding myself with them and seeing them be positive, it started me on the process of changing my thought patterns since their positive thinking rubbed off on me and I liked it. So if you’re struggling, one of the things that can be very helpful is surrounding yourself with other positive people. One of my favorite threads here is the 24 hour thread. Soberleigh, Kris47, and Venuscat have daily inspirational quotes that they post and I always greatly appreciate them. I know I will find positivity, encouragement and inspiration when I go to that thread. I also know that if I post that I am struggling on the boards, I will always find support and encouragement.
Today’s exercise: think about the people in your life that help support positive thinking. Also think about who you spend time with. Do they bring out positive or negative thinking?
The relationships we have with other people can do one of two things: make our thinking better or worse, depending on whom we surround ourselves with.
I used to have a good friend that I went out for coffee with. When I was drinking, the relationship worked for both of us since we would commiserate and we both liked dwelling on the negative. As I continued to work on my thinking and staying positive with sobriety, going out with her became problematic. Each time I went out with her, it would make me feel stressed out and trigger cravings. She was no longer liking who I was and when we went out, I noticed everything she said was trying to tear me down versus build me up. Eventually, I came to the realization that the friendship was working against what I was trying to achieve, so I stopped going out for coffee with this friend. While it’s been a rather painful experience, it made me realize who we surround ourselves with can have a major impact on how we’re thinking. I realized the more time I spent with those that thought positive, the more it helped me be positive and that I should make an effort to surround myself with positive people.
One of the things I love about SR, is that there are so many warm and positive people here. It was the people on the boards that helped me realize how important positive thinking is. By surrounding myself with them and seeing them be positive, it started me on the process of changing my thought patterns since their positive thinking rubbed off on me and I liked it. So if you’re struggling, one of the things that can be very helpful is surrounding yourself with other positive people. One of my favorite threads here is the 24 hour thread. Soberleigh, Kris47, and Venuscat have daily inspirational quotes that they post and I always greatly appreciate them. I know I will find positivity, encouragement and inspiration when I go to that thread. I also know that if I post that I am struggling on the boards, I will always find support and encouragement.
Today’s exercise: think about the people in your life that help support positive thinking. Also think about who you spend time with. Do they bring out positive or negative thinking?
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Join Date: Aug 2007
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Very good & helpful stuff, Strat. I tried for too long to cling to relationships that were based on who I was as a drinking person. Drinking definitely impacted my personality. I was suddenly less fun & entertaining to some people, I'm sure. It bothered me for a while - I hadn't wanted everything to change just because I was sober. I couldn't keep faking it though. Being snarky, sarcastic, and reckless was no longer me. (Well, perhaps a touch of sarcasm now and then...
)
I tried for too long to cling to relationships that were based on who I was as a drinking person. Drinking definitely impacted my personality. I was suddenly less fun & entertaining to some people, I'm sure. It bothered me for a while - I hadn't wanted everything to change just because I was sober. I couldn't keep faking it though. Being snarky, sarcastic, and reckless was no longer me. (Well, perhaps a touch of sarcasm now and then...)
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
This is a really good exercise and like you Strat, I had to back away in recovery from toxic friendships.
I had to go no contact with my best friend because of his drug use and the behaviors and craziness it brought forth. He knows where to find me if he ever wants to get better but for my own sanity, I just could not keep associating with him.
I deal with a lot of toxic people and people in active addiction in my professional life. When it comes to my personal circle, my "off" time I really do my best to surround myself with positive people. Some folks are like leeches and will just suck you dry (emotionally and even materially), life is just too short for that.
Now I am not saying that my friends don't go through rough times too. When they do, I do my best to be present for them. The people are cut are drama people and people who always try to bring me down.
I am on Facebook and once in a while, I will visit the page of an old acquaintance to see what they are up to these days. It's amazing how many people are still stuck in the same old down loop, the same old drama. It's also really cool to see someone who is evolving and working on themselves.
I had to go no contact with my best friend because of his drug use and the behaviors and craziness it brought forth. He knows where to find me if he ever wants to get better but for my own sanity, I just could not keep associating with him.
I deal with a lot of toxic people and people in active addiction in my professional life. When it comes to my personal circle, my "off" time I really do my best to surround myself with positive people. Some folks are like leeches and will just suck you dry (emotionally and even materially), life is just too short for that.
Now I am not saying that my friends don't go through rough times too. When they do, I do my best to be present for them. The people are cut are drama people and people who always try to bring me down.
I am on Facebook and once in a while, I will visit the page of an old acquaintance to see what they are up to these days. It's amazing how many people are still stuck in the same old down loop, the same old drama. It's also really cool to see someone who is evolving and working on themselves.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Ky
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The people I work with are a good group of people, very positive. I have learned how to be more kind actually from observing them. Not an excuse but I'm Sagittarius and sometimes I bite people and don't realize I have. I have to be careful and I do try to stay aware of this and not be so matter of fact to people. In my job however I deal with the public so that in itself is a challenge, positive or negative. I have to be on my toes for the whole day.
In my private life, the few friends I have, can take or leave the drink. I haven't had to choose. My family are my husbands family and they all pretty much are drinkers including my husband. They don't try to temp me or force me and are very supportive in my choice for recovery. They don't hide their drinking form me and sometimes they don't completely understand what alcoholism is. I just do like Dee says and tell them "no thanks" and go on so we don't have to try to wrap their brains around things they probably won't comprehend anyway. My husband gets it and he's the one I have to deal with on a daily basis. My main concern. My family don't live close to me and I don't have brothers or sisters. The distant family, I have some on my Dad's side who live away and I've never known and they don't know the person I am. My Mom was adopted, never tried to find out who they were and only had her adoptive Mom and Dad. I don't have to deal with it for my side of the family or lack there of.
In my private life, the few friends I have, can take or leave the drink. I haven't had to choose. My family are my husbands family and they all pretty much are drinkers including my husband. They don't try to temp me or force me and are very supportive in my choice for recovery. They don't hide their drinking form me and sometimes they don't completely understand what alcoholism is. I just do like Dee says and tell them "no thanks" and go on so we don't have to try to wrap their brains around things they probably won't comprehend anyway. My husband gets it and he's the one I have to deal with on a daily basis. My main concern. My family don't live close to me and I don't have brothers or sisters. The distant family, I have some on my Dad's side who live away and I've never known and they don't know the person I am. My Mom was adopted, never tried to find out who they were and only had her adoptive Mom and Dad. I don't have to deal with it for my side of the family or lack there of.
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Park Hills, Missouri
Posts: 53
Hi Everyone,
So I think about those I choose to surround myself with are very good for support healthy and vice verse usually. There are those I am surrounded by as in living situations I try to be good for but they are not always good for me to be around.
However staying the role of staying positive while struggling especially when going through physical ailments I have found it to be challenging. You want to scream in chronic pain and you cant stand yourself, but hope is on the horizon during small breaks.
Id say there's definite moments you have to push yourself to the other side even if its only for a few moments. It doesn't mean you do it because someone else thinks its time. You do it when you're ready for your own sanity and health. It's all part of self care.
I really appreciate this thread. I have been in severe pain so I have been mia but hopefully my ailments will be taken care of and I can be here longer.
Wonderful shares everyone.
Eventually I will catch up.
So I think about those I choose to surround myself with are very good for support healthy and vice verse usually. There are those I am surrounded by as in living situations I try to be good for but they are not always good for me to be around.
However staying the role of staying positive while struggling especially when going through physical ailments I have found it to be challenging. You want to scream in chronic pain and you cant stand yourself, but hope is on the horizon during small breaks.
Id say there's definite moments you have to push yourself to the other side even if its only for a few moments. It doesn't mean you do it because someone else thinks its time. You do it when you're ready for your own sanity and health. It's all part of self care.
I really appreciate this thread. I have been in severe pain so I have been mia but hopefully my ailments will be taken care of and I can be here longer.
Wonderful shares everyone.
Eventually I will catch up.
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Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 2,574
Another good topic strat.
I was fortunate that my husband is almost a non-drinker (half a drink once in awhile), and is generally a very positive person, so I didn't have to change my most important relationship. Most of my friends were light to non-drinkers too (I tended to drink in isolation, at home alone).
My co-workers ...there's a lot of drinking and workaholism in my field and the company I work for. Now that I'm sober, I do my job and try to be friendly to all there, but tend to avoid most work-related social occasions. I have coffee with selected coworkers so I feel like I stay in touch and send out friendly signals, but I avoid the after-hours bar visits as those are a downer for me.
My family of origin .. a mixed bag. Here is where working my program is so important --- because I want a relationship with them, but I have to work my recovery very seriously for my family visits to result in positive thoughts/feelings for me.
The best places to generate reliably positive thoughts and feelings are AA and SR -- I can go to either of these and ask for help, and almost always I'll receive help and feel better. At the very least I'll know I'm not alone.
I was fortunate that my husband is almost a non-drinker (half a drink once in awhile), and is generally a very positive person, so I didn't have to change my most important relationship. Most of my friends were light to non-drinkers too (I tended to drink in isolation, at home alone).
My co-workers ...there's a lot of drinking and workaholism in my field and the company I work for. Now that I'm sober, I do my job and try to be friendly to all there, but tend to avoid most work-related social occasions. I have coffee with selected coworkers so I feel like I stay in touch and send out friendly signals, but I avoid the after-hours bar visits as those are a downer for me.
My family of origin .. a mixed bag. Here is where working my program is so important --- because I want a relationship with them, but I have to work my recovery very seriously for my family visits to result in positive thoughts/feelings for me.
The best places to generate reliably positive thoughts and feelings are AA and SR -- I can go to either of these and ask for help, and almost always I'll receive help and feel better. At the very least I'll know I'm not alone.
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Join Date: May 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 740
I feel very blessed that at this point in my life, I am surrounded by a lot of positive people. My tween daughter is a little love bug; she is just happy to have a mom who doesn't drink, and I'm so happy to be able to give her that.
As for work, I have to say that my job is hard and very demanding, but being surrounded by positive people means that I can bear the demands and still enjoy going to work.
I do think that having people with a positive attitude around me has helped with my sobriety, and having that was part of my sobriety plan when I quit. I've had to move away from some friendships and family that didn't support my plan.
So, yes, positivity is key, and I'm glad I have this piece in my life. Now if only I could find time for the gym...:-)
Delfin
As for work, I have to say that my job is hard and very demanding, but being surrounded by positive people means that I can bear the demands and still enjoy going to work.
I do think that having people with a positive attitude around me has helped with my sobriety, and having that was part of my sobriety plan when I quit. I've had to move away from some friendships and family that didn't support my plan.
So, yes, positivity is key, and I'm glad I have this piece in my life. Now if only I could find time for the gym...:-)
Delfin
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
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Thank you all for all of your awesome posts! I will be posting much later this evening since I have an exam this morning and am getting in some last minute reviewing.
JD-I am so glad that you're back. I love your outlook despite what you're going through.
I will be posting much later this evening since I have an exam this morning and am getting in some last minute reviewing. JD-I am so glad that you're back.
I love your outlook despite what you're going through.
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staying positive when struggling-doing things that bring you joy
Thank you all so much for understanding with the exam. Your good lucks, positive vibes and wishes definitely helped! Thank you!!!!
Today we’re continuing with keeping positive when struggling and covering what brings you joy.
I still remember being in early sobriety and at a loss as to who I was and how I really felt about things. While I did lots of activities, they didn’t really bring me any joy anymore. I had done them for years and I felt with sobriety, it was a good time to rediscover who I am.
While it would seem it would be fairly straightforward to figure out what brings you joy, I didn’t find this an easy process. Like the cartoon above, finding what brought me joy was elusive and was very much a process and it was highly frustrating.
One of the things that brings me immense joy, is doing Zumba. When I first started doing it, I got very frustrated since I didn’t know any of the moves. I still remember going to several Zumba classes and wondering why I was doing it and hated it. For whatever reason, I stuck with it and as I got to know the moves with different dances, I really started enjoying it.
Having something that brings you joy is so important. It doesn't need to be massive and as simple as cat memes, reading comics, or spending time with a pet. When you’re struggling, if you can do this activity, it can make a huge impact on your thoughts and how you’re feeling about things.
One of the things that was brought up yesterday here, was having the time to do different activities. If activity brings you joy, make sure to commit to it and make it a priority. Many times we take on lots of responsibilities and make those the priority versus making ourselves and our joy a priority. I am guilty of doing this myself when busy, but I am trying to make myself a better priority even when things are busy since it makes a huge difference.
Today’s exercise: think about what brings you joy. Do you spend time every day doing things that bring you joy? Do you think you need to make this more of a priority?
Today we’re continuing with keeping positive when struggling and covering what brings you joy.
I still remember being in early sobriety and at a loss as to who I was and how I really felt about things. While I did lots of activities, they didn’t really bring me any joy anymore. I had done them for years and I felt with sobriety, it was a good time to rediscover who I am.
While it would seem it would be fairly straightforward to figure out what brings you joy, I didn’t find this an easy process. Like the cartoon above, finding what brought me joy was elusive and was very much a process and it was highly frustrating.
One of the things that brings me immense joy, is doing Zumba. When I first started doing it, I got very frustrated since I didn’t know any of the moves. I still remember going to several Zumba classes and wondering why I was doing it and hated it. For whatever reason, I stuck with it and as I got to know the moves with different dances, I really started enjoying it.
Having something that brings you joy is so important. It doesn't need to be massive and as simple as cat memes, reading comics, or spending time with a pet. When you’re struggling, if you can do this activity, it can make a huge impact on your thoughts and how you’re feeling about things.
One of the things that was brought up yesterday here, was having the time to do different activities. If activity brings you joy, make sure to commit to it and make it a priority. Many times we take on lots of responsibilities and make those the priority versus making ourselves and our joy a priority. I am guilty of doing this myself when busy, but I am trying to make myself a better priority even when things are busy since it makes a huge difference.
Today’s exercise: think about what brings you joy. Do you spend time every day doing things that bring you joy? Do you think you need to make this more of a priority?
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