Dharma33

(((((Sleepie)))))

I'm sending you this little guy for no reason other than he makes me laugh:




Hang in there.

Coldfusion

Sleepie, I have been married for 31 of my 53 years. My first wife (who was thirty years my senior) died of cancer. I remarried soon after her death to an alcoholic--our love of booze is one thing that attracted us to each other. Then a couple years ago we realized that we simply could not afford to drink ourselves to death, and after a few false starts we both quit drinking and did ninety meetings in ninety days.

Going to meetings was way out of our comfort zones, but if there is any advice I have to offer it is that your boyfriend needs to get to an Al Anon meeting. Neither my wife nor I are very social, and we abhor organized religion; but the help we got by seeing that we are not alone is essential to recovery. Everyone in those rooms is just as much an ass (to quote Cow) as everyone else, but we find recovery by working a simple program and by sharing our experience, strength and hope.

Soberwolf

sleepie

I thought Al Anon was for people who were related to or spouse of an active drinker?
He would never go to that or anything.

That makes me feel like I am just a burden that has to be managed too. Jeez, I quit and I am doing my best- does he need a whole support group to deal with me?

I take myself to the shrink, I pay for the shrink to get off these pills and be done forever with the last of adiction...

Maybe I am just not fit to date.

sleepie

My boyfriend was a drinker too, until we started dating more. Then he quit. But it was much easier for him, he was only a weekend drinker.

Coldfusion

I guess what I mean to say is that he needs to change himself; you can't change him. Maybe he doesn't see the challenges in a relationship with an addict; Al Anon's principles can help ANYONE in any kind of relationship.

Step 1: Admit you are powerless over others etc...

happybeingme

Al-Anon is for friends and family of alcoholics. Any and all family members. You yourself might find a benefit in at least checking out the friends and family forum here. There is also the adult children forum. The title doesn't say it but it is actually Adult Children of Alcoholics and other family dysfunctions. Good people in that forum.

Here is the thing though, your boyfriend doesn't think he has any problems at all. He might not. Just because you think he does doesn't make it true. He is a homebody who doesn't seem to need or want a lot of relationships. Some people are like that. Nothing wrong with that. The problem comes when you expect more from him than he can or wants to give. For me the biggest challenge I faced was having no expectations of anyone and to accept them for exactly who they are right now. By learning that I have become happier and all of my relationships have improved.

For real recovery you have to start writhing you. Accept yourself, love yourself, and then give that to everyone else.

Cow

Hi CF! You know my ex go to one Al Anon meeting (at my repeated request!) then come home and announce he learn that my alcoholism was not his problem, and he need to put his own self first. Now I know they message is more complex than this, but that what he take from it and so from then on he still was no support for me AND he felt he had moral high ground to not be any support!

Moral of story is: if you boyfriend not very supportive, probable is nothing gonna make him supportive until he change into different person. Start looking for magic wand.

120degrees0ut

HI Sleepie! I enjoy your threads and appreciate your nice comments on my threads. OCD and anxiety sucks. i noticed ocd bigtime when i stopped taking these upper pills i used to stay thin. and i noticed ocd while on the pills. no more pills for me. when i quit alcohol anxiety is sky high and ocd present too. so i understand U. I hope u start feeling way better soon Sleepie! As for your boyfriend..i hear ya there too! just concentrate on getting well and/or feeling better...

scaredikklegoth

Sorry you're going through such a terrible time and that bf is being crap. I obvs don't know you or the situation as I'm still pretty new here but maybe he just has no idea what to do? My Fiance has felt that way sometimes and i misinterpreted it as him not caring because I was so miserable.

If that isn't the case and he really doesn't care then maybe counselling would help?

Anyway, well done to you for sticking with it. You're being very brave and I hope you feel much better soon

sleepie

Thanks guys!

Hi 120degrees and scaredikklegoth... hope you are well today

Quirky

Hi Sleepie,
I know you are going through he#% right now and looking for advice and guidance. I just want you to know I am thinking of you. I don't really have experience with the things you are having problems with, so I don't have advice for you, but I care about you and I want you to know that.
I wish I DID have a magic wand; I would use it to give Cow and You some relief....ya'll are way overdo. ( yes, I live in the South ya'll)
You are such a special person Sleepie, and mean so much to all of us here at SR. You are insightful, compassionate, and smart. I always enjoy reading anything you write; you usually pretty much hit the nail on the head too when offering advice.
Hang in there Sweetie, hopefully things will improve shortly. You deserve a break...

sleepie

Geez thanks guys... You are all just great.
RTD thank you!

sleepie

Sigh... another night spent worrying about health stuff.
I tried to sleep at 10:30 and here I am up after laying in bed for 90 minutes.
And it's after 3 a.m. and I was like the walking dead all day today from having to run around and do my work, I thought I was going to drop of a heart attack.
And I still can't sleep.
This is hell I cannot take it anymore.
If I went to the dr for every thing I thought I had I would just live at the doctor's and have to get a loan to pay for it all.
I am just sick with worry. I cannot stop obsessing over these asymmetries on my body and other things. I am aware people are not symmetrical but one thing in particular has me so worried sick.
I am not feeling hopeful I still foresee a short life riddled with disfiguring health problems, I'll be the broke down bag lady you see at the bus stop and think "God I hope that's not me someday".

Dee74

I'm sorry sleepie. I know what it's like to focus on something obsessively.

If it helps I don't think anyone thinks they're perfect. I certainly didn't and still don't.

I found myself that a combination of keeping busy and making a list of the things I liked about my life and myself acted as a kind of circuit breaker to those kinds of spiralling obsessional thoughts?

D

Cow

Ah Sleepies, is you try to stop the thinking? Maybe you need mantra. When you mind fixating, just keep say you mantra over and over. When I try to rest and my mind is jabber at me about all the health stuff and everything that wrong, I just keep say: Uh huh, but right now we just gonna breathe.

Ken33xx

I firmly believe if I lost everything except my sobriety I won`t end up on the street. I believe the same holds true for you.

sleepie

Woke up to even worse fasting blood sugar. It's worse since I quit. WTH am I even doing this for.... why put myself through it.

Cow

Frodo : I can't do this, Sam.

Sam : I know. It's all wrong. By all rights, we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were, and sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy when so much bad happened. But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines, it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. Because they were holding on to something.

Frodo : What are we holding on to, Sam?

Sam : That there’s something good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it’s worth fighting for.

ScottFromWI

Have you ever considered that your anxiety could be a potential cause of your blood sugar levels? or asked a doctor about it? Obsessing about it and constantly monitoring it only feeds the anxiety further potentially raises it.

I suffer from health anxiety myself and I can tell you that one of the absolute worst possible things you can do is obsess about particular vital sign. When I was still drinking I had high BP and I was told to start monitoring it by my doctor. That turned into an obsession where I took my BP all throughout the day ( I was only supposed to do it once in the morning and once in the evening ) and any time I felt any sort of little twinge anywhere in my chest or stomach, I would immediately need to sit down, check my pulse, check my BP...which was of course high because i was anxious. And my pulse would go up even more, etc.

So the point of the story is....you are probably making things worse by habitually/obsessively checking your blood sugar all day unless a doctor has recommended you to do so. And if you feel you have a physical issue that would be causing your blood sugar to be high, you need to talk to a doctor about it. It's quite possible that you may need to seek professional counseling help to manage the anxiety too - I have had to and while it's hard work it does pay off.